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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

350 replies

gail734 · 12/04/2013 18:52

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

OP posts:
Jenny70 · 12/04/2013 21:15

I breasfed 3 children over 6 years (including tandem feeding toddler and baby) and never received an actual comment in public - and I fed wherever and whenever it was required. Many a "averted glance", but never even a rude face or roll of eyes ....

JackieTheFart · 12/04/2013 21:16

Amanda I'm in agreement with you! Excellent job though quote!

(PS - just finishing off The Year of the Flood again - did you know the third book has a release date?)

Blending · 12/04/2013 21:20

No but quite a few nice ones

I popped into a pub for some lunch and I braced my self when an old guy made a bee line for me as I BF 4 mo DD. With a big smile he said "Does she want a whisky chaser with that?" Grin

I was waiting for my MOT in the garage waiting room,and a teenage lad came in and spotted me, I waited for him to cringe or run out but he didnt bat an eyelid, and brought me a large glass of water and said that his Mum had always got thirsty when she fed his little sister.

FreedomOfTheTess · 12/04/2013 21:20

Only once, a power-suited woman complained loudly to the man she was sitting with, saying "look at that, she's breastfeeding where people are eating and drinking, it's disgusting."

I spoke up and said, "my baby is a person, he is eating/drinking, so what's the difference? And if that's putting you off your latte, I don't care, as it's your problem not mine."

She looked rather embarrassed that I'd spoken up in reply, I think she thought I'd just take it, and didn't say anything else. They did move to another table though.

Springforward · 12/04/2013 21:22

Bless the lad in the MOT garage, that was really thoughtful of him!

RainbowsFriend · 12/04/2013 21:29

Mainly my DM who ALWAYS asks if we are still breastfeeding, and always has a reason why it's time to stop. DD is 21 months, I'm 3 months pregnant and still going!

PIL bless them are obviously a bit uncomfortable and deliberately avert their gaze, and MIL especially has a problem with me feeding DD at the dining room table for some unknown reason. She never says anything, just looks disapproving! Grin

Both of them (in their mid-late sixties) though were of the generation that were told to schedule 4 hourly feeds, babies were taken away at birth to the nursery, so the mothers could rest etc, so never stood a chance with breastfeeding themselves - and probably didn't have any friends who did either, so it probably does seem "unnatural" to them - especially a very vocal toddler Grin

The worst comments I've had were a group of obviously new mums in cafe "disgusted" at my feeding a child of DD's age. Well I thought the same when DD was tiny, but now it's just natural (but I wouldn't have said anything in earshot!).

When DD was tiny, I did have an old gent buy me an orange juice when I was sat down feeding DD (before she had her usual hungry meltdown) as I'd had to feed her before I could get myself a drink. He refused to be paid back as well, bless him :)

Crawling · 12/04/2013 21:32

I sat in a group once and about six mums were being really disgusting and horrid about bf even goinvg as far as to say it smust give them sexual pleasure.

Then dd needed a feed cue shamed faces whwn I started feeding and said watcah me orgasm now. They left the room and a mw xclapped.

Crawling · 12/04/2013 21:33

Sorry on phone with a non tired baby bouncing on me.

Theyoniwhisperer · 12/04/2013 21:38

Nothing ever from a stranger, DP's sister asked me not to bf in front of her kids (boys around 11 and 9 at the time) and so I would spend family gatherings upstairs in a spare room. Was actually fine with me, I was happier up there reading a magazine than making small talk with my in-laws.

My sister's in laws are also weird about it and at her wedding I breastfed three week old DS1 in the hotel lobby and her DH's brother came over to say hello, noticed me feeding and shouted 'that's TERRIBLE!'. I think he was a bit mortified afterwards.

Ikeameatballs · 12/04/2013 21:38

Have just remembered a comment that makes me Sad but also weirdly Smile.

Feeding dd as a tiny baby in front of my very elderly gran, must have been about 96, led to the most bonding conversation between us that I can remember. She talked about feeding her first her first daughter who later died as a child Sad.

rainbow2000 · 12/04/2013 21:40

No not really have do you want to feed in the toilet i said no why do you.
Had some women sitting in the parents area,she was about 60 and i was bf my pfb.She gave me the eyes never said anything which i find worse but huffed and puffed.Until i pointed out to my ma we were in teh parents area and where are her kids.She didnt know where to look.
And ive bf 5 of them and my 2 teenage boys were not embarressed feeding their brother why would any one else be

quoteunquote · 12/04/2013 21:44

DP, did then point out I had fed them the sandwiches, which meant there was now no sandwiches, but he didn't mention it again, DS slept through it, somewhere out there are two men who will never quite be able to eat a caerphilly and mango chutney sandwich.

Crawling a friend had similar, a group of women(new mums) suggesting it was sexual, really screwed up thinking.

MmeThenardier · 12/04/2013 21:44

quoteunquote - respect.

You make me want to have a baby and bf on a train in the hope that I will have the opportunity to educate some people the way you did.

MrsKoala · 12/04/2013 21:50

Quote - you are now my hero :)

Crawling - i once had a male 'friend' say that women must get sexual pleasure from internal examinations and smear tests and even from putting tampons in Hmm . So much so he wouldn't allow his gf to have a coil in case she got turned on when it was fitted.

minouminou · 12/04/2013 21:51

I've also bf-ed loads of times in a room full of gay guys. With DS, we'd get the occasional comment like "The left this time, sir? Excellent choice...."
There was one guy who had come out v early on in life and had never - ahem - tried it with a lady.... I caught him having a shifty look at my massive norks in what I hope was amazement.

whiteandyellowiris · 12/04/2013 21:54

no but ive had a few mean looks, although lots of approving nods too to equal it up

landofsoapandyoni · 12/04/2013 21:55

I can remember going to the dentist when DS2 was about 5months old. The dentist was my old boss and he commented on how slim I was, I said it was probably the BF. He was really shocked I was 'still' feeding DS2 because his wife had stopped feeding their DD, who was a week older than DS when she was 6 weeks. He asked me if my DH minded!Hmm I said no, why would he, I was saving us lots of money by not buying formula!

Smooshy · 12/04/2013 21:55

I bf 5 kids and had no comments at all. Maybe I give off "don't comment or else" vibes? (Probably not!)

EggsEggSplat · 12/04/2013 21:59

bows down in front of quoteunquote with massive respect

FryOneFatManic · 12/04/2013 22:06

I remember when DP and I went to register DD's birth, she needed to feed and the registrar tried to put me off by saying something about it not being an appropriate place for me and would I like to come back later? I just said I was comfy and wanted to get on with registering as the CS scar was uncomfortable. This was nearly 13 years ago, and about 3 weeks after DD was born.

It's probably the only time someone actually said something, but I did get a few glares, which were conspicuous by their absence when DP was around. He was always so ridiculously proud about me being able to feed our DCs.

But then, his mum (now 84) had bf'd her 3 and was very practical (and approving) about it, whereas my mum ff me and DBro. My Mum always said something about her boobs being too small for making milk, but really she's got issues about intimate bodily functions and I feel that the idea of bfing was something she just couldn't take to.

pearlgirl · 12/04/2013 22:08

Never been aware of any negative comments in public - bf all four out and about - one lovely waiter even offered to cut up my food for me when I was feeding ds4.
Sadly the only negativity I ever had was from pil who with ds1 wouldn't stay in the same room - which made visits when ds1 was tiny interesting as he was one of those babies who fed little and often. With later dcs they have stayed in the room - so I feel I have done a bit of educating there.

Permanentlyexhausted · 12/04/2013 22:10

An older lady (in her 70s maybe) told me "That shouldn't be allowed" when she saw me feeding DD. That was the only comment though.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate · 12/04/2013 22:14

Jackie - Does it? That's exciting.

Ooh, just had a Google. August. Fab.

BlackeyedSusan · 12/04/2013 22:16

fed for 3 and a half years in public. (and it felt like everyminute of that at the time!) don't remember any comments. funny though. i did not feed in front of pil. Hmm mixed feeding has it's advantages. Smile

foofooyeah · 12/04/2013 22:18

One gawped, the other belted him and said 'Stop perving, them's baby tits not looking at tits.' and apologised for his mate's lack of discrimination

That made me giggle.