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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding in public.

117 replies

MrsDoolittle · 25/04/2006 10:48

Two years ago I naively breastfed dd anywhere, I even complained to Bravissimo when I was asked to go into a cubicle instead of feed on a comfy chair (and received a very apologetic response).
However this time with ds I feel differently, which is why I have said "naively". Breast feeding seems to have become more of an 'issue' and I have been really shocked by the response of some to seeing women breast feeding. Isn't it sad that I don't feel the same carefree ability to breast feed my 10 week old baby anywhere? Sad Sad
It's the terrible disgust that I am remembering when I write this and my recent discovering that John Lewis' have a parents room with a chair and a plastic shower curtain to pull across.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 25/04/2006 10:54

Just feed anywhere. IIRC, I remember seeing that the JL I went in had the separate area if you wanted privacy to feed your child.

I keep meaning to print out a stack of business cards saying "thank you for sharing your opinion about breastfeeding" on one side and "now f@@@ off" on the other. However, no one has ever approached me anyway and if they did I would ignore them.

SoupDragon · 25/04/2006 10:56

If anyone had approached me when I was feeding DS1 I would have crumbled and burst into tears, with DS2 I might have ignored them (and then burst into tears) but with BabyDragon I think I'd tell them where to go.

misdee · 25/04/2006 10:58

i havent had much bother with feeding dd3. a few young lads have tried to sneak a peek at my breast, but they dont see much cos there is a baby on it lol. some people tut, but i ignore them.

our JL here has a large baby room, there is 2 seating areas, one is on full view, one is tucked round the corner, and is real;ly cramped.

PrettyCandles · 25/04/2006 10:58

I think maybe it's because in the past couple of years breastfeeding in public has become more of a 'public' issue. I'll bet that when you fed your dd, most of the public were oblivious to it (except, of course, mums, dads, grannies, medical types etc), but since it's been in the news on and off isnce then, with all sorts of legislation passed or proposed, every Tom Dick and Harry is aware that women do this and are therefore more likely to notice.

I don't know what I can say to help you regain your carefree confidence. Ignore the idiots, and you'll relearn to enjoy it.

Miaou · 25/04/2006 11:00

Sad Mrs D. I feed ds everywhere and have received loads of positive comments about it, mainly from older people, and that 's in an area where bottlefeeding is by far the norm! Never even had mucky looks (and I have been looking for them as I'm just dying to have a barney about it but obviously no-one wants to take me on Wink)

CHICagoMUM · 25/04/2006 11:06

I always felt self concious BF'ing in public too. Had an incident in a restaurant where the waiter came up and said (rather embarassed) "I'm afraid you can't do that here as people are having their lunch" Shock . To which my dh replied "yes and so is he" to which he just shuffled off.

Original poster
MrsDoolittle · 25/04/2006 11:07

Go your dh Smile!!

OP posts:
Miaou · 25/04/2006 11:08

top response cm!!!!

CHICagoMUM · 25/04/2006 11:10

For all jis faults one thing dh has laways been very good about was helping me to bf the children, even stalking through tescos late at night once looking for savoy cabbage in my hour of (great) need.

Bozza · 25/04/2006 11:13

MrsDoolittle that sounds sad. I was much happier to feed DD anywhere (she is a May 04 baby) than I was DS who was born in 2001. But I think that was simply my greater self-confidence rather than any external factors.

Bozza · 25/04/2006 11:13

MrsDoolittle that sounds sad. I was much happier to feed DD anywhere (she is a May 04 baby) than I was DS who was born in 2001. But I think that was simply my greater self-confidence rather than any external factors.

oliveoil · 25/04/2006 11:18

I always fed in feeding rooms (Daisy & Tom had those fab reclining feeding chairs with stools that cost about £600) as I just felt more comfortable.

But if dd1 or dd2 was in a major strop I fed anywhere but draped myself with muslin cloths.

I always fed in front of family and friends and noone was bothered (that I was aware of anyway).

When out shopping the other day there was a tiny newborn having a bottle and loads of people were cooing and I hope they would do the same if the mum was b/feeding (it was expressed as I am a saddo and can tell from the colour!!).

farseer · 25/04/2006 11:22

Mrs D, sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Its such a shame as one of the best things about bfeeding is that you can do it anywhere, as you did with dd.

Is there anywhere you go that you would feel a bit more comfortable feeding ds? Just to get used to doing it and build your confidence back up? I've found adopting a 'come on, i just dare you' face helps me.

The areas that shops etc provide for women to breastfeed are often unhygenic and if you have a toddler with you as well, they can be a nightmare, with sinks and toilets for them to play with, while you sit unable to stop them as you're feeding.

I understand why you feel like it but please don't let the narrowminded few stop you from doing something completely natural for you and your baby

Flamesparrow · 25/04/2006 11:28

I've got so much more confidence this time round - mainly due to sites like MN getting me all defensive and determined to get my norks out at every opportunity GrinWink (Tbh, DS normally feeds in the sling and people don't even realise he's been feeding til he comes up all milky!)

I do find it sad that most baby feeding/changing rooms have a lock on the door, and that mothers would actually lock another woman with a hungry child out (and yes, it has happened to me!).

I wish I could post you some of my confidence :(

Bozza · 25/04/2006 11:31

TBH I found it more important to feed in public with my second. I thought it was much nicer for DS to go to a cafe and have a treat (cake) and me get a drink and feed DD than be stuck in a dingy feeding room with him bored and niggling.

farseer · 25/04/2006 11:36

Exactly how I feel Bozza, I sit in the window of one of the trendy coffee shops with DS2. We have cake, look out of the window at the passing world and dd gets her fill.

IMO theres not much worse than a bored restless toddler in a confined space Smile

SoupDragon · 25/04/2006 11:38

I've fed BabyDragon in the window of Starbucks a few times. I would never have done that with either DS but it's where the comfy seats are.

Eulalia · 25/04/2006 11:38

How true about the feeding /changing rooms. it's disguisting - we don't eat in the same place we *hit, so why expect a baby to do so? I usually feed in the cafe of a supermarket/shop and feel I have to because I often have one or two of the other children there too and they have to eat as well... I can hardly leave them alone while I go to the Mums room. No-one has ever challenged me thankfully.

Highlander · 25/04/2006 12:48

I used to get really uptight at making an effort to be 'discreet' when DS was newborn. When he was 9 weeks I took him back to the UK on a 10 hour flight. Stuck in cattle class I was more paranoid about him crying that I regularly had my norks hanging out, but there was so little space I just didn't give a damn who saw them after a while!

It was a real turning point for me and I think my body language was more kind of confident in passers by eyes, IYSWIM. Sadly DS turned into such a distractable tike when we were out that I ended up mostly feeding at home.

LucyJu · 25/04/2006 12:53

I don't feel all that comfortable about bfing in poublic - but do it anyway. I live in fear of someone making some derogatory comment - but it has never yet happened. I have some retorts ready and I know I wouldn't be afraid to stick up for myself (and dd2, for that matter) if necessary. But I also know that anything like that would make me very hurt, angry and upset.

I try to bear in mind the following:

I don't see why I should be made to feel ashamed or embarrassed about feeding my baby in the best possible way (sorry - I mean the normal way).

Given that I rarely see any other mother bfing in public, I hope that seeing even just one more bfer (i.e. me) might possibly help to give a bit of confidence or courage to someone who might be feeling nervous or uneasy about the whole thing.

If avid bfers like me are going to hide themselves away, then we are indirectly endorsing the view of bfing as something that should be hidden away.

kiskidee · 25/04/2006 16:03

i have an evil response I would like to try out one day.

i may never get a chance to use it though as dh is with me a lot of the times dd and I are out and he is a big bruiser so those silly types wouldn't pass comments.

spidermama · 25/04/2006 16:08

I'll feed a baby or child of any age, anywhere I choose and to tell you the truth I won't even notice if people are judging me because it's so utterly natural, normal, right and good.

Ignore them. They're sad, foolish, unatural, out of touch with themselves and with a warped view of womens' bodies. They can fuck off.

LucyJu · 25/04/2006 16:14

Kiskidee - I'm curious - what is your evil response? Could you share it?

dinosaure · 25/04/2006 16:14

MrsDoolittle, the John Lewis parents room had the curtain way back in 1999, when I had DS1 - it's not new.

FWIW I breastfed all the DSs in public (not simultaneously, obviously) but I also rather liked the John Lewis parents room too...

LucyJu · 25/04/2006 16:18

Whilst I don't think baby feeding rooms should be necessary, I'm glad that some shops do provide them. At least they're acknowledging that breastfed babies actually exist, and at least they aren't sending mothers to feed their babies in the toilets.