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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding in public.

117 replies

MrsDoolittle · 25/04/2006 10:48

Two years ago I naively breastfed dd anywhere, I even complained to Bravissimo when I was asked to go into a cubicle instead of feed on a comfy chair (and received a very apologetic response).
However this time with ds I feel differently, which is why I have said "naively". Breast feeding seems to have become more of an 'issue' and I have been really shocked by the response of some to seeing women breast feeding. Isn't it sad that I don't feel the same carefree ability to breast feed my 10 week old baby anywhere? Sad Sad
It's the terrible disgust that I am remembering when I write this and my recent discovering that John Lewis' have a parents room with a chair and a plastic shower curtain to pull across.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 25/04/2006 16:21

I was feeding DS in the car today in the carpark at Sainsburys. I got quite a few looks - no comments though. No one has ever been brave enough Wink

spidermama · 25/04/2006 16:26

I once sat at the side of the swimming pool feeding my baby and an attendant (woman of about 19 if you will) foolishly approached me and said, 'This is the right place to be doing that. Would you please go somewhere else'. Angry Angry Angry

I hit the roof. I said, 'I am his mother and I know perfectly well where and when to feed him. How dare you presume to talk to me like that. I certainly won't be going anywhere and if you need to go to get one of your superiors I'd be only too happy to tell them the same thing.' I sounded like my Grandmother (a force to be reckoned with) while I was saying it.

She skulked off and didn't trouble me further. Ha!

chipmonkey · 25/04/2006 16:30

Well done Spidermama. I've never had a bad comment when bf in public but if I did I don't know if I'd have the presence of mind to reply so forthrightly!

honneybunny · 25/04/2006 18:17

I sat feeding ds2 (4months) at an Easter Days with Thomas show, and a father and his son (3yo?) were sitting next to me. the son suddenly noticed and asked his dad "dad, what's that baby doing?". the dad looked at me angrily and said to his son:"come we'll move over there. you shouldn't see this." Angry
this was the first time i have ever had a nasty comment on public bf-ing, and i was just to astonished to say anything... Shock

sfxmum · 25/04/2006 18:36

HB that boy will turn out like the bloke on the other thread who thinks breasts are for sex and not for feeding babies...or maybe thats him time travelling and that is the source of his crapnessShocksorry!

i have always bf in public places when necessary. dd nearly 11m we were out with in laws all day last week and i said she needed some milk
MIL- oh i would not like to take my breast out in this cold
me - fortunately you don't have to

moondog · 25/04/2006 18:40

lol sfx
I think the moaners are few and far between.
Most people don't notice and don't care.
Never had any comments in over 3 years of b/feeding in many places and many countries.
SM,wish I'd been at that pool to witness said dressing down. Grin

MumtoBen · 25/04/2006 18:44

I never received any negative comments, even though I b/f in public many times until 6 months. Most people just didn't realise what I was doing. A few people who came over to look at the baby only realised when they were peering at the baby close up and made nice comments about b/f. I would have shouted and at anyone who was nasty.

The only time I ever felt awkward was in front of my Nan and Grandad - it just felt wrong somehow, although they didn't care!!

I read that in Scotland it is illegal to stop a woman b/f anywhere where it is acceptable for a woman to bottle feed.

tassis · 25/04/2006 18:52

Re initial post and the curtain around chair in the JL parents room - when I first had ds I was such an indiscreet feeder. For some reason I had to take my top off to see what I was doing. For this reason, especially if there were Dads coming in to change their wee ones, i liked the curtain (and I don't remember it being a plastic one) in JL. Thankfully wihin a few weeks I got more discreet and moved from the parent's room to the cafe in JL.

buffythenappyslayer · 25/04/2006 18:59

when dd was a week old,dh got rushed into hospital with kidney stones.i went to visit and had to take dd with me.dh went for a scan and me and my friend went and sat near the lifts as i didnt fancy sitting there on the ward feeding.i sat there and very discreetly fed dd.a nurse passed us and gave me the filthyiest of looks!she stood staring at me and shook her head.my friend said loudly 'whats her problem'i just shrugged it off that someone could have that attitude.i told my midwife who asked me to write a letter of complaint to the head of midwifery at the hospital.i did,there was an investigation and now there is a room on ante natal ward where you can go to bf (although its not advertised!)

ixel · 25/04/2006 19:22

I was unable to bf ds1, so really geared myself up to do it in public with ds2. Disappointingly, I've had no arguments yet Wink. I'm just so happy that its working well this time round, I really dont care where I have to do it. Best place so far is going round the animal enclosures at Woburn safari Park!

GarfieldsGirl · 25/04/2006 19:52

I've never experienced any negative comments. When ds1 was newborn i wasn't very discreet (I don't suppose many are) so used to go to places and ask for somewhere out of the way, but everyone was always happy enough to just get me a chair and let me feed wherever i was.

One of the shopping centres here has a fab baby room, its got all the usual stuff, but has a seperat room with big comfy sofas, magazines etc which I think is really good.

The only bad comment I've ever received re bfing in ublic which wasn't aimed towards me was from an old boss. I was working in a restaurant (a very well known family Chain, so I won't say the name). A couple I was serving had a baby with them, my boss looked over, and thought she was changing baby's nappy on table, then realised she was going to bf, adn said "Oh...she's doing that thing" with real disgust in her voice. I just replied with something like, "it's called breastfeeding" and steamed off in a huff. She obviously couldn't do anything about it because of the complaints there would have been (and rightly so), but she always made her disgust at mums bfing perfectly clear for all to see.

Smellen · 25/04/2006 20:06

Well, I was feeding DS this afternoon on a café terrace... As I unhooked right bra strap and shifted him across my lap, I looked up and saw two blokes getting an eyeful as they walked past, mouths open.

As my mate said, that probably made their day...Wink

Seriously, I can't see what all the fuss is about - it's a normal, natural and healthy thing to do for your baby. If other people have a problem with it, it says more about their own hang-ups and issues.

BTW, our local M&S has bought in special high backed sofas especially for breastfeeding mums - and no shower curtains in sight! - so good on them!

Smellen · 25/04/2006 20:06

Well, I was feeding DS this afternoon on a café terrace... As I unhooked right bra strap and shifted him across my lap, I looked up and saw two blokes getting an eyeful as they walked past, mouths open.

As my mate said, that probably made their day...Wink

Seriously, I can't see what all the fuss is about - it's a normal, natural and healthy thing to do for your baby. If other people have a problem with it, it says more about their own hang-ups and issues.

BTW, our local M&S has bought in special high backed sofas especially for breastfeeding mums - and no shower curtains in sight! - so good on them!

Caligula · 25/04/2006 20:12

I noticed at M&S recently, that their feeding doors have got pictures of breasts on them as well as bottles.

Felt like writing them a letter of congratulations. Grin

kiskidee · 25/04/2006 20:20

lucyju, its become quite a nice thread so don't want to break the mood. Smile

moondog · 25/04/2006 20:22

Oh that's great Cal!
About bloody time!!!

Adorabelle · 25/04/2006 20:51

Bfed my 23 month old all over
Connecticut recently while on holiday.
Got the odd glare but I found smiling
sweetly & saying hello was usually enough
to make them look away, even got a smile & hello back once or twice!

dinny · 25/04/2006 20:53

Spidermama, most excellent retort! Have yet to have any similar comments when I'm feeding ds (now 19 months) but sure hope I can fire one off that fab Grin

popsycalindisguise · 25/04/2006 20:59

I fed ds2 today (14 months) is a soft play place. all was well until he decided to blow a raspberry on my boob then piss himself laughing!

Grin
NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2006 20:59

I've bf all over the place, never had a problem. Flights, trains, the tube, whatever.

People generally don't notice, and if they do, what are they going to do? (It probably helps that I'm fairly tough-looking, but I doubt girlier girls get much hassle either.)

I found bf in front of my dad kinda weird. (But DH's dad is fine.)

Oh, and I took DS2 out to a pub night with my old colleagues when he was about 4 months, and just couldn't breastfeed him there. I had no problem with my old colleagues knowing I was breastfeeding, had whole chats about problems etc with guys who had small babies. But just couldn't couldn't couldn't get out the norks, even though DS2 was in a sling so it would have been pretty subtle. Very weird.

lovecloud · 25/04/2006 21:00

I breastfed in public with dd1 and I was very good at being discreet. When I first started I used a muslin tucked under my bra and loosly across dd then when I got the hang of it all. I could latch her on without anyone seeing anything.
I do find it disgusting when I see mums with big old saggy swingers swinging about whilst she is winding baby with no care or respect for anyone around her. Not everyone wants this sight infront of them especially in a cafe or restaurant. I think bf mums should respect people around them and do their best to keep their privates private!!! It is possible to breastfeed this way - just takes practice :)

I plan to breastfeed this time and will do my best to be discreet again although if i come acorss someone who tries to make my life hard just because they have a thing against breastfeesing then god help them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sweetkitty · 25/04/2006 21:07

Never had any negative comments feeding both DDs in public, I've always been waiting for it though keep trying to think of something ultra witty to say back just in case.

NotQuiteCockney · 25/04/2006 21:09

Um, lovecloud, lots of people do lots of things I don't like seeing. So I look away.

Seriously, saying mean things about women's breasts because they're not BF in public the way you choose to is just nasty.

kiskidee · 25/04/2006 21:18

lc, your remarks implicitly suggest that only women with 'acceptable looking' boobs ought to take them out to bf in public though I don't believe that is what you meant to say.

Adorabelle · 25/04/2006 21:24

Lovecloud, i'm very pleased that you
were able to feed so discreetly but sometimes being discreet &bf your LO do not sit
well together. I had to feed my dd while supporting her head with my hand until
she was about 4months old which was a bit
awkward &sometimes left me a bit "overexposed"
Would loved to have been able to just tuck
her under my jumper &fed her but it wasn't
possible. Most women don't swing their baps
about intentionally while feeding, it's sometimes impossible to keep them totally covered

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