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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding in public.

117 replies

MrsDoolittle · 25/04/2006 10:48

Two years ago I naively breastfed dd anywhere, I even complained to Bravissimo when I was asked to go into a cubicle instead of feed on a comfy chair (and received a very apologetic response).
However this time with ds I feel differently, which is why I have said "naively". Breast feeding seems to have become more of an 'issue' and I have been really shocked by the response of some to seeing women breast feeding. Isn't it sad that I don't feel the same carefree ability to breast feed my 10 week old baby anywhere? Sad Sad
It's the terrible disgust that I am remembering when I write this and my recent discovering that John Lewis' have a parents room with a chair and a plastic shower curtain to pull across.

OP posts:
joelalie · 28/04/2006 08:11

I've fed my babies everywhere and at any time - church, pubs, restaurants, the park...anywhere there's somewhere to sit down really. I've never had a single comment. I have to admit that I was really self-conscious with DS#1 and I used to use bottles when we were out to start with but that didn't last long.

DS#2 is now 3 and I began to feel a bit uncomfortable feeding him when we were out as I know people do think feeding a big baby is odd. And I got a severe drubbing on another non-parenting board about feeding a 3 yr old Sad and it made me start to think about it. Anyway I now only feed him at night. I reckon 3 years is good going anyway.

Cadmum - I am astonished at NYC!!!! Shock A glimpse of breast is not a big deal surely?

LeahE · 28/04/2006 08:25

Cadmum -- Actually, according to La Leche League New York has the most progressive bf legislation in the US, giving mothers an absolute right to breastfeed in public. There are specific exception to all of the exposure laws stating that they do not apply to the breastfeeding of infants and NY CLS Civ R § 79-e (Article 7 Miscellaneous Provisions) states that "Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast feed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether or not the nipple of the mother's breast is covered during or incidental to the breast feeding."

HunKeRMunKeR · 28/04/2006 08:27

Sad and utterly mental that there has to be legislation for feeding in public, isn't it? Wish everyone just thought "Ahh, how sweet" and smiled at the bfeeding mum encouragingly but not patronisingly (tricky one that!).

AbiGilby · 15/05/2006 11:00

I know this thread ended some time ago, but my DS is only three weeks old, and I’m b/feeding him and am a little self conscious about feeding him in public. I’ve read through this, and I particularly love Smellen’s retort of "Screaming or feeding: you choose"!

I just want to say that although my local Tesco have a seat in the change room, the room always smells of dirty nappies, so I’ve now fed DS in their café twice now. I feel quite proud of myself. It helps that DH is so supportive too. I do try to be discreet because I don’t want just anyone looking at me! But one lady had a full conversation with me about how small my baby was, and how quickly he’ll grow because he’s feeding well. It felt a bit weird actually.

And on that topic, does anyone know where I can get inexpensive breastfeeding tops, because I don’t like just hiking my top up and showing off my jelly belly!

RedZuleika · 19/05/2006 12:30

Not sure I'd want someone studying our technique that closely either...

Re: breastfeeding tops. Someone (possibly Hunkermunker) mentioned \link{http://www.thebellyhugger.com\these} on another thread. Not exactly tops, but probably more flattering than most breastfeeding tops I've seen. Think I might get some, primarily to hide the flab rather than keep out the chill...

hotmama · 19/05/2006 12:38

I've just bought some bf tops. Got some from JoJo Maman Bebe but the best ones I got was from NCT online - not cheap at £29 but IMO well worth the money.

I have been bf in public with confidence as I'm not showing my norks off to all and sundry.

I believe that H&M do bf tops but I have yet to find them - I imagine they will be quite cheap as their maternity stuff is - but cheap in a good way IYSWIM. Smile

QE · 19/05/2006 13:04

I thought there would be a red hot bf topic going today as there was a lady on This Morning being interviewed about bfeeding on the steps of no.10!

Very articulate lady with some well put arguments in support of bfeeding in public places.

UniSarah · 19/05/2006 21:56

Interesting one for you-
I have no problems BF my 2 month old in cafes etc, but he seems to have a problem with it. I've had a few "difficult" feeds with him when the surounding have been bustly and noisey, I had to resort to using baby change rooms twice at the weekend just to get the lad to settle down and concentrate on feeding. Ho Hum. Even feeding at my In laws was difficult when there were other people in the room, seems hes esily distracted and then he starts swallowing air and that hurts him so he screams... and it all gets circular from there.

clairemow · 19/05/2006 22:15

Had the same problem Unisarah - have you tried draping a muslin over your shoulder and his head, so he can't see? Sounds odd, but it did work for me. Or just shielding above his eyes so he can only see your boob and not the other people in the room. Mind you, maybe it's the noise and not the view?

suzi2 · 19/05/2006 22:30

I have the same problems with my DS UniSarah. it's strange that I have no problem feeding him in public, but now he's 9 months I seem to find myself going to the car, feeding rooms/areas (as long as we are alone!) and into the bedroom at friends houses! I haven't found an answer yet. Sometimes when I do feed in public he pulls on and off so much I'm exposed to everyone for ages. He even attracted the attention of a waiter in a restaurant the other day by smiling at him - the waiter then came over for a chat with DS and looked down to realise my boob was out next to him! He apologised for some reason.

My mum is all for me breastfeeding but seems to have a problem with me doing it in public at times. She pretends that she's trying to save me from embarrassment by getting me to move to seats (on the train or whatever) where there "aren't men looking". But I know that it's her that's embarrassed really.

Adorabelle · 19/05/2006 22:41

Have not read the whole thread but here's my experience.
My dd is now 2, still bfeeding & still bfeeding while out in public. She quite a big 2 yr old,
pretty tall, & when I feed her out & about I do
sometimes get looks. We are now V.discreet while
feeding, but sometimes someone walks by &
catches a look & its obvious shes having her "num-nums". If I ever get a funny look I will smile
sweetly, say Hello & this is usually enough for the person to just carry on with there own business.
If I Ever got an adverse reation to my feeding my
dd I know for certain that I would tell the person to F*ck Off, V.politely of course.

TheFlameWhoWasAfraidOfTheDark · 19/05/2006 23:04

How's it going now anyway MrsD?

UniSarah · 20/05/2006 17:37

thanx suzi and clairemow, is strangely good to know I'm not alone. I think its the noise in particular that distrcts my DS as feeding in the same place can be a very experience depending on how many people are in the room. At the in laws kitchen, me and FiL was fine at 6am, but with FiL and MiL at 9am was a nightmare.

pooka · 20/05/2006 18:06

Caligula - love the idea of "orpington woman"! Makes her sound like "piltdown man". (Live in Bromley so know exactly the type of woman you're referring to!

Emma7 · 20/05/2006 18:31

I am still not confident enough to feed in public - DD is 4 weeks old. Today we had friends round and I spent most of the time upstairs Sad.
We went out for lunch and I fed DD sat on a toilet! (was in there for 20 minutes - bet they wondered what was going on!) I'm sure that I will gain confidence as time goes on.

moondog · 20/05/2006 18:35

Ah Emma! Sad
Come on girl,you need a life!!
Who can you start with to get confidence up?
Good friend?
Parents?

Have you tried practicing in front of the mirror?
You'll be amazed at how little is on show.

tiktok · 20/05/2006 18:50

Aw.....Emma, you had friends round to your house and you couldn't even do it in your house? That's such a shame, and it's so restricting. Ask your partner if there is anything on view when you do it, and if friends don't like it, then they can spend the time upstairs :)

tiktok · 20/05/2006 18:51

Forgot to say - you should feel proud of what you're doing!!

cod · 20/05/2006 18:51

but i think if you are self conc of your norks asnway ( and they are not very bootiful when bf) it cn be worse

nicnack2 · 20/05/2006 18:56

Emma i never bf in public ds1 is now nearly 3. Used to feed in the car, toilets etc. Could never manage the discreet bit. DS2 who is 10 weeks is the same feed at home, in cars or give formula if i know iam out. Worst thing is i am a nurse and i have just found it to embarrasing because i am a bit clumsy. Dont worry

RedZuleika · 20/05/2006 19:38

No offence, nicnack2, but I really won't be seen bottle-feeding in public. It was painful and embarrassing to get to this point of confident breast-feeding and I'd feel like I was letting down the sisterhood...

SoupDragon · 20/05/2006 19:49

Emma7, with DS1 I fed in feeding rooms, changing rooms and yes, even in the toilet (not because someone told me to but because I chose it over the restaurant area!) Yes, I even fed tucked away whilst at home too. Fast forward past DS2 (more confident) and on to DD and I regulary feed her in the window of Starbucks :o

You'll get there. I never thought I'd get my breasts out in the window of Starbucks, I can tell you! 4 weeks is early, you're both still learning.

nicnack2 · 20/05/2006 19:50

no offense taken i admire anyone who does bf in public like i said i have never managed the art and both babe and i get worked up. what i adocate is do what is best for you and dont feel under any pressure if idoes not happen.

SoupDragon · 20/05/2006 19:50

If you get your choice of clothing right, discrete is easy (although the latching on can be difficult but it's brief)

chocolateshoes · 20/05/2006 19:54

I've fed DS everywhere, but admit I feel a bit more vulnerable if on my own & not with DP for security! Even fed him at Pick Your Own fruit farm whilst the rest of the family picked the strawberries for tea!