How to stay awake during night feeds part 4 - Food porn a plenty

[HorridHeffalumpsWickedWoozles]

A brand spanking new thread for midnight ramblings, chocolate covered pretzels and so much more

Second feed here, Transfer went well last time so fingers crossed for a repeat

Seriously rubbish night here up at 2,3,4 and now, grrrrrrrr.
amey and funch we try to do Ginas nap times too but we fail everyday!! I shall keep trying as the nap times are the only things I want to use from her book. I do bath at 5.45/6 and he is usually in his cot for 7, I think that's her timing too. It does normally work just not tonight!
I refuse to believe I'm up for the day now and will try and put him back down when he's finished with my boobs. It's buggyfit this morning so I do need some energy.

OMG! After 3 or 4 weeks (not sure how long, but a long time!) of 2 - 3 hourly wakings, DS just slept 10 - 6! So there is light at the end if the tunnel this could be a fluke but right now I don't care
Just fed and gone back to sleep, so should get another hour before he wakes up and starts singing. The cat is scratching at my bedroom door, so I'm probably going to have to let him out if I want any peace

Daytime naps here are happening at vaguely the same times each day, but vary as to how long they are, and that means the afternoon ones can be a bit random. I don't like being stuck in a rigid routine though (my life is too haphazard so it doesn't work for me), so I just try and follow his cues and help him get to sleep when he needs to (which occasionally involves pinning his arms down by his head), but also have an idea now of when he is likely to need to nap, which helps. He is 30 weeks today (22 weeks corrected).

Apologies for not nanechecking! Hope the BM in the eye does the trick.

Morning.
Rubbish nights all round Except Baby Tea! Good work!!!
Was up at 12.30-1, 3.40, 4.45, then up for the day at 8. Couldn't read thread as was trying to keep eye-opening to a minimum.

Wow hobnobs that is great. I bet you feel fantastic. I sometimes put DS's hands up by his head to try and help him sleep too but was never sure if I should so it's useful to know others do that. I think VQ said that if her DS is in the 'surrender' position he will sleep soundly.

Buttons I think I am crap at swaddling or else DS is a little Houdini. It's probably me as I know he likes to have his hands free but the startle is often what wakes him up. I need to be more assertive in my wrapping! The hiccups are awful, shake his whole body.

Well after I posted last night DH took over so I could grab some sleep. Does anyone else find that their baby will sometimes settle more for other people because milk is taken out of the equation? DS will always go straight for the breast if I am trying to soothe him but for DH he will calm down from singing or just holding (unless genuinely hungry). He even elicited a burp from him.

Eventually at 6am we had a final quick feed and he was sparko - meaning successful transfer and a couple of hrs in the bednest. I didn't even get to try Ewan - didn't want to use it for the first time when he was distressed in case it made a negative association and then didn't need to.

Quick question - do people just save Ewan for night time or use him for naps too?

Wow tea I'm sure there's alot of jelous women on here including me we didn't have a bad night here either. BabyN wouldn't settle until almost midnight then went every 3 hours! It's amazing how much more human I feel with that extra hour lol

Nervous I resurrected Ewan yesterday (you guys made me miss him ) and used him for the last nap of the afternoon which is usually the hardest one to get him to settle. It was lovely, reminded me of the first few weeks when DS was so tiny and Ewan lulled us all to sleep every night.

We will be moving DS into his own room in the next few weeks, so I'm hoping Ewan will play a key part in helping him feel settled (though knowing DS' character now, I have a strong suspicion he isn't going to be bothered).

Blonder we used to always swaddle at bedtime, but it is now impossible to keep his arms in, so if he is thrashing lots as he is trying to fall asleep, holding his arms does seem to help - I do feel a bit mean though! Then there's the trickiness of extricating oneself without disturbing him! I had to do it hanging over the side of my friend's travel cot the other day - uncomfortable!

Hi girls,

Well we overslept (I didn't think this was possible with a baby!!) so was rushing around this morning to get to our baby massage class at 09:45 so didn't have time to pos this morning. I hate rushing! But was glad of the sleep. He didn't let me do much massage today but we watched so I can do it at home and I love chatting with the ladies there.

I just use Ewan at night if I need him, must not forget him on Friday!

Ladies how long should it take for the eye to clear using breast milk? I'm conscious that we are going to Chester on Friday where we won't have a dr so wondering if I should take him to the drs tomorrow if it hasn't cleared up? Thanks.

We always seem to oversleep when we have to get somewhere early mrsn and then he won't go back to sleep when we have nothing to do!

I haven't been posting much at night, although I have been reading, but co-sleeping has changed my life!! I'm having a bit of mental anguish about it still though... I never planned to co-sleep and still don't actually want to be doing it. Not that I see it as a bad thing or am worried about SIDS (I have followed all the advice on safe co-sleeping) I just want there to be a separation between our bed and DS's bed perhaps I'm odd. But as he's up three times a night and DH now sleeps in the spare room all week, life is so much easier if I let DS sleep with me as he wakes to feed by nuzzling into me, feeds for around 15-20 minutes and then we both drop off to sleep (unless I've fallen asleep during the feed which happens quite often!) He does go down in his cot at 'bedtime', around 7 or 8pm, and I only bring him in with me after the first feed, but it takes at least 30-45 mins to get him to sleep in the cot. If I continue trying to put him back in after each feed (as I was doing) then I'm up all night.

I am allowing this to happen as I hope he will start sleeping for longer than three hours soon and once we're down to one feed a night I won't mind "the transfer" so much. I know I'm being a bit delusional and am probably making a rod for my own back, but I am having the same amount of sleep I used to have when at work and I feel fine each day. Be brutal, if you think I'm going to set myself up for problems in future based on the fact I don't want this to continue forever, then let me know I feel I'm justifying myself to everyone around me constantly as DM, DMIL etc tell me it's not what I should really be doing DH is supportive though as he likes the bright, breezy me that has resurfaced!!!

Anyway, so many things I want to reply to too... going to read back through the thread and will do some namechecking as DS is having an afternoon nap and I'm at the PC for the first time in months - yep, I still use a desktop PC

Amey I haven't tried the BM on eye yet as I tried to soak some cotton wool with it but it was taking ages I am an idiot but I like the teaspoon tip!

Izzy poor you, thrush sounds painful. This BF thing certainly isn't easy, sometimes I do wonder how the human race has survived as long as it has!!!

valium wind is a nightmare! Bizarre as it sounds, I find that bouncing on my exercise ball while holding DS really calms him down when he's having his evening screams (it is still inflated from my late-pg bouncing to induce labour!) Not sure it helps with the wind, but it seems to stop the screams!

blonder that was happening to us during feeds and I ended up thinking it's due to fast letdown which he can't handle in the evening for some reason. I had a chat with a LLL counsellor who gave me some tips for dealing with fast letdown, if you think that's what it may be, the advice is also here under 'strategies to reduce milk ejection force' www.llli.org/faq/oversupply.html. We have found that lying down to feed at this time really helps.

small hope you found the energy for buggyfit!

tea and nervous yay too the good nights!!

And a great big hello to anyone I've missed!!

Oh, we went to see Skyfall this morning at a baby screening - I loved being out at the cinema! i felt like a normal person My main observation was that Daniel Craig's hair was too short for him to be hot

Smicha thank you for the info, I went to a bf group at the hospital today but it was a bit overcrowded so I might contact the local LLL and see if there is a meeting near me.

One of my pet hates is the phrase 'rod for your own back', it's usually just used by people trying to undermine you so they can say 'told you so' if you have any probs in future. In short people who like to think they know better than you. Do what feels right for you and gets you through this period. I don't think what you're doing now sounds like it would be unalterable in future, obvs I'm not an expert but I'm sure almost any parenting choice has potential positives and negatives so go with your instincts and what works best for a calm and happy household.

My mum is fairly open minded but she can't get her head around co-sleeping - it was such a no-no a generation ago. I would just make a joke of it and say, well if he's still there as a teenager I'll have a word with him!

smicha I thought the same re Daniel Craig!!! I LOVED him in the first one he did but thought he'd gone a bit off in this one, time for a new one perhaps?!
I didn't go to buggyfit in the end- I did have energy but it was raining and I didn't fancy getting soaked. We've got friends staying for two nights and they have a 19 month old so have been charging about the place with her all afternoon so am hoping that will have used up some calories!
Good luck for tonight all and see you later ( was going to add hopefully at the end there but actually hopefully I won't see you because we'll all be sleeping!)

This will be my third attempt to transfer babyloo since I started bed time feeding at six, I'm sure he knows I'm going to have a couple of glasses of wine tonight so is keeping me waiting

Very jealous of all the skyfall action, my nearest mother and baby screening involves a train ride and I'm not sure I'm up to it, can you take prams in just out of interest?

smicha loads of my friends co-slept and they didn't seem to have a problem when their babies moved to a cot, I'm a firm believer in doing what's right for you and other people will just have to get over it!! I know that's easier said than done though. I co slept for the first three days and I'm fairly sure my dad didn't sleep a wink because he was waiting for me to phone and say I had squashed the baby!! I couldn't co-sleep for any longer because I have a bad back and it can be really difficult to get comfortable sometimes. If your getting more sleep then that can only be a good thing

Will be attempting transfer in ten minutes.........

smicha I was in tears this morning after last night's horrors (please excuse my mad nighttime ramblings on here!) So DH has agreed to sleep on the sofa for a few nights so I can cosleep in our bed, ie not even use the bedside cot but have her next to me on the bed. Transfer was still an issue even with the bedside cot, though I aim to get her back in it eventually. I am not too worried about her never going back to her own cot, I just need to get some sleep until she gets day and night the right way round again.

She has been asleep more than awake sine 10:30am so I am not expecting much sleep. We are already in bed as DH is out and I am knackered! Fingers crossed the cosleeping will at least help.

Have been sending emails to and fro with people at work all day making arrangements to observe lessons on my half day on Friday, and expressing like mad for her time at the childminder too!

I also have a tale of woe for you all a bit later when I have had some sleep...all ok now but basically I had a massive parenting fail earlier today!

Does anyone else's hubby's criticise how you do things? He always thinks that I'm doing things too hard eg massaging, wiping him, cleaning his eye, putting his nose spray in....... I know he's only worried about little fella but I know what I'm doing and he should know I wouldn't do anything to hurt him and every time he says things like this I feel horrible. Just ended up arguing about it cause he thinks he's just trying to help by suggesting things!

Sympathies MrsN - we went through a phase of DH telling me not to do this and that, really irked me. They are only doing it because they care, but because they don't have as much hands-on time as we do, they sometimes misjudge their observations. Not sure why it is they forget that we are sensible logical people and would never do anything to hurt our little ones or put them at risk?! Gritted teeth is all I can suggest, and if he goes too far, remind how what he says makes you feel (rather than telling him he is wrong IYSWIM?).

We went to baby cinema today too, and DS actually slept through most of it! at ours, you can't take buggies into the screen, but they do a raffle ticket cloakroom system so you can store them securely. I tried putting him in the sling but it was too uncomfortable sitting down, so I just held him on my lap (and therefore got a dead arm while he had his nice long nap). They keep the lights up a bit, so I suggest finding a darkish spot to sit if you want baby to nap - I made the mistake of sitting right under a light and regretted it!

DS is being annoyingly clingy this evening, and DH is still not home. Thank god dinner is leftover cottage pie and no cooking is required!

Thanks ladies! I knew that you'd have some words that would put my mind at ease about this co-sleeping. funch I hope your experience is as good as mine has been, even though dh on the sofa probably isn't ideal. What a lovely dh though!

blonder I just called lll and had a long chat with a counsellor. Might be worth doing that if there isn't a local meeting.

small I've just been telling dh that it's time for a new Bond

susie you can't take prams into the cinema near me, but they keep the cafe area just for people at the screening so prams can be left there. Not as secure as at tea's cinema though. I'll probably take a sling next time anyway as the queue for the lift was huge! tea I also made the mistake of sitting under a light, regulars must have been able to spot the newbie!

mrsn my dh is like that too and I have occasionally found myself saying through gritted teeth that I do spend a lot of time with ds so do know what I'm doing!

Thanks tea, that helps I just start thinking irrationally that he thinks I'm hurting him and then all these scenarios come into my head. I will try and not retaliate so much, I know he only cares.

I'm so jealous of all of these cinema trips. lol There don't seem to be any baby screenings near me or my mum and dads! Glad you all enjoyed them though.

Busy day for us tomorrow, popping into work to show them him again before he grows anymore, then to my friends as her little one is one while we are away, then to boots to pick up a prescription and then finish packing!

Thank god you get Mumsnet on your phone so I can take you all with me

Thanks smicha I agree re co - sleeping, you have to do what's right for you! Glad your DH is being supportive! I'm sure there are a lot of things my MIL won't agree with me on but I will do what's right for us!

Evening all

Missmarbles is in bed since normal time of 7. We got rid of the 45 minute intruder which was much more normal compared to last night, so I am hoping normality has resumed. I think she was waking up hungry the last couple of nights because she hasn't been feeding well during the day, due to not being able to breathe properly. Thankfully, she has been much better this evening. I'm a bit worried because her feeds have been broken with crying, which is very unlike her. She appears to ask for a feed and latches fine, sucks for a short time then pulls of crying, and is reluctant to relatch but appears to still be hungry. She will relatch and feed some more but then will pull off crying again I don't know why and I feel like it is me/my milk/breast feeding, and I don't want her to associate whatever is making her cry with breastfeeding. It could be teeth I suppose, or her throat, which is what the walk-in identified. What do you guys think?

MrsN - the sticky eye should clear up in a day or two.

Nervous - I only use Ewan during the day, or if she is fidgety at night.

Smicha - just do what you need to to get through the day and don't worry too much about what people say. Anything you don't like later, you can change.

Susie - babies in cahoots again Since starting the post, I have had two transfer failures too.

Blonder - swaddling was a disaster for us. Too wriggly, and also she sucks her thumb; it took a while to find it, but she was trying in the early days and my preference is thumb over dummy so didn't want to pin her arms.

Buttons - haha to truffle hunting - we call Missmarbles a truffle hunter

Helloooooooooo and waves to everyone else. Hi to lurkers, hope you're ok. Hope we all get loads of lovely sleep tonight

It's taken me an hour to post this I already mentioned the transfer failure, but then I thought I'd broken my laptop and DH had to mend it

Re. Cinema baby screenings, I manage a cinema and we used to keep the lights up slightly during the parent & baby screenings until some of the parents mentioned it was easier for the babies to doze in the darkness, so we changed the lighting just leaving enough for quick exits. Anyway just thought I'd say as it may be worth mentioning if you are visiting your local cinema regularly, they might be open to feedback.

Sorry to hear of feeding issue missmarbles as usual I have no wisdom to offer but lots of sympathy.

mrsn my DH has managed to keep unsolicited suggestions to himself so far and in fact drives me mad asking me about everything to the point where I have told him to read up on baby care as I have done. Eg I don't need to give her a bottle so why do I need to learn how to prepare them? They are his area to be in charge of and feel knowledgeable about. though clearly I have researched it just in case he messes it up.

Having said that I am not to be trusted with our beautiful little girl. As I said earlier, I messed up bigtime today. I took her to the clinic and while moving her from one room to another she fell out of the carseat because I had not strapped her in AND had failed to click the carry handle into place properly.

When I looked down and saw her crumpled up face down on the floor I would happily have accepted a prison sentence. I have never felt so horribly guilty ever.

Luckily it was only a fall of about ten cm, and she roared for less than a minute and then was fine. we were with the HV who checked her over and said she was fine and just needed to be watched in case she showed signs of injury later. And she didn't report me to social services! I nearly cried on her, I felt so horrible. It did kind of prove my point when I said I was worried I was getting dangerously sleep deprived though! She was great and said "you won't be doing that again, will you" which is absolutely true!

I am going up have nightmares now about DD getting hurt!

Oh funch you poor thing! I'm dreading the first incident like that! On the positive side you were somewhere she could be checked over straight away to put your mind at ease! I'm sure babyfunch was fine, they are much more resilient than we think.

Major fail with cot tonight...in fact major fail with sleep altogether! Ds has cluster fed and dozed all night but every time one of us tries to put him in the cot he screams. We managed one 20 min stint, but I'm sure he woke when Ewan shut up. Grrr, Ewan should last at least an hour! Feeding again now and I will give the cot one last try before I give in and keep him in with me.