High-Need Baby Support Thread II

[tickleme63]

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

Hmmm, could be ATruth...is your DP balding with a big nose? [evil] [love him really emoticon]

Ah no, not the same. Unless he put a wig on when he comes here?

The sneaker little bastard...

Thanks LWL - he slept for an hour and i didn't know what to do with myself, felt all twichy not having DS stuck to me or v nearby!

Puddles - I feel your pain, has DS stopped screaming yet? I can't offer any real advice (Monday = cuddling, rocking, bouncing, singing, put down, pick up, swaddled, skin to skin, crying, pleading, praying, repeat. He stopped when we went to the GP if that helps? Think it was the cold that showed up next day) Sending support and hold onto your sanity vibes! It's horrific .

DS naps for an hour at most (usually!) -anything from 20 mins to 50 mins normal. Yesterday he had two long ones but we'd been at baby swimming.

Truth - glad the wedding is back on

Puddle our never fail (actually only failed once - even worked through colic) for screaming was to go down the garden. Unfortunately, as soon as you come back in she would sometimes start crying again - but worth a try?

Mampig - good to hear it has worked for someone!

Well if people don't mind - I'll chronicle our "no sleep - cry" journey here?

So today - 30min nap this morning in the sling while vacuuming then out walking (to try to keep her asleep), then a MEGA 2.5 hour nap this afternoon - everytime she woke up I resettled her as she was crying, until it got silly.

She's gone to sleep now, and I'm actually downstairs! Put her in the co sleeper and fed her lying down then snuck away - 15mins and counting :)

Oh and Tulip I also did not know what to do with myself during her long nap today. In fact I went to DP (who was working from home) and said - is this what it is like for people with normal babies? I got sooooo much done!

Night two of DS refusing to sleep without me being Right Next To Him. I just tried to get up to go to the loo and got screamed at. May have to ask DP to take over lying down duties for five mins (I can hear it now " mollycoddled...", "needs to learn...", "go the fuck to sleep...")

truth

So far not too bad. He's been up for his bottle and is back down again now chatting himself to sleep - he is at least pretty good at that now.

I can't work out why his eczema is worse though, and it occurred to me tonight that he;s been puking more. He doesn't seem in any discomfort, so I can only assume that his anti sickness meds need adjusting so it's a good thing we're at the hospital on Wednesday! I realised that of course, cutting down on the number of bottles meant reducing the amount of gaviscon he was on so I've put more into two bottles to make up for it.

I think he's gone so I'm off to bed now, anticipating another middle of the night chatting session. [sigh]

Well DD went down at 7.15, woke at 7.45-8, then 8.30-8.45, then 9.15-9.20, and has been asleep since. I've given up trying to stay downstairs and just come to bed... especially as to get her back to sleep I have to lie down and feed her for 10-15 minutes!

DP said "I think he's going to sleep through tonight" as we got into bed at 9pm. Gotta love the optimism! DS woke up at 10.30 for a feed as he's done every night for 2 weeks, despite having been taken for a long walk, had lots of playtime and chicken casserole for tea. Oh well

The sleeping in own room thing is not going well. Previously we had the cot with side off next to our bed, but as I'd had some success with getting him to go down in his cot awake I thought I'd try in his own room. Plus our room is at the front of the house opposite a train line. DSs room is at the back of the house and is quieter and less draughty.

So we've put the cot in his room and a mattress on the floor for me!

I managed to get DS in his cot once this evening for an hour or so, but he's been mostly next to me on the floor.

The problem is that DH has been sleeping in the spare room and I really wanted us to start sharing a bed again. He is the lightest sleeper ever so struggled to share a bed with DS. Plus now DS is on the move I was worried about him being in a bed with no sides. As it is he can stand up in his cot!

So good reasons for putting DS in own room. Unfortunately he isn't quite so keen. I'm going to give it a month and if his sleep is no better I'm buying a super king!

so much for sleeping through - he was awake every 40 minutes at one point! And up for the day at 6.15. I think it might be time to read the no-cry sleep solution again :(

Titania - My DP had been in the spare room since about week 3 - we are now 8 months later! We have talked about putting the mattress on the floor when she starts moving, and a single bed mattress alongside for DP.. - would that work for you?

Puddle - my DD was the same so I sympathise! Although I never tried having people round for dinner.... so well done you there!

Well our no cry sleep solution plan made things worse. I was trying keeping her a few inches away in the cosleeper cot, waiting to see if she really needed feeding rather than responding instantly, and not letting her fall asleep on the nipple.

Longest stretch of sleep was 1 hour 30, most were 45mins.... she kept scratching me, but then would get very angry when I held her hand - so much so that at 2am I was getting angry and DP had to take over walking her around for an hour. I'm actually still angry towards her this morning, and very tearful.

Waiting to see if she really needed feeding just made her wake up more, so she stayed awake longer, and scratched me. I think her being a few inches away rather than pressed up against me meant she didn't sleep for her usual 2 hour stretches.... so do I persever, or try something else? Only tried one night so far.... Nothing in the book says what to do if your plan has made things worse!

• I think we almost shared a child last night!

LWL - I think we may need to try something else. I keep mentioning super king.... Last night was a disaster DS wouldn't go into his cot at all. I ended up on the actual floor as the mattress we put on DS floor is only a single and and as he's used to space he spread out. Tried going back into our bed with him but am petrified he'll fall out and he was getting too hot in between the two of us. I did get to cuddle DH for about an hour though which was lovely. Am thinking about bed guards but am worried he'll just crawl out the bottom of the bed.

Am tempted just to put the cot back where it was and get a proper bed for DS's room (DH was sleeping on a mattress on the floor which isn't comfy) which DS can go into when he's ready (aged 9 then!!) doesn't solve the issue of me not sleeping with DH though.

Sorry am rambling- argh!

Sorry to all those of you who had an awful night - hope it gets better today.

Oh and LWL I totally get you on the angry thing. Last night when trying to settle DS he kept pulling at the strap on my vest top. Twang twang twang over and over. In the end I put him down and counted to 10 took some deep breaths and then picked him up again.

Ugh. It feels like we're all struggling at night at the moment eh? Have our pesky babies been on BabiesNet again planning how to most upset us?

I got angry at DS last night too I very rarely get cross with him but by 3am, after no more than 45 mins sleep at a time, not wanting to feed, not wanting to cuddle, refusing to be left alone, not wanting jigging, etc, etc I ended up shouting 'What do you WANT?' and then leaving him on his own while I sobbed all over DP. This morning DP described it as "an FML moment - you were crying in my arms, DS was screaming next door, and all my friends are out on the lash carrying on as normal" he did then redeem himself by saying "I didn't mind though, I just couldn't think of a solution, I figured if I helped calm you down you'd sort DS better than I could" He was right too. After a two min cuddle and break I went back into DS and was somehow able to calm him. We then slept for a glorious 2 and a half hour stretch before bringing him into our bed at 6am. Phew.

LWL - In my very limited experience, DS did eventually get used to me stopping him feeding (Pantley removal) and holding his hand instead of cuddling. The waiting thing also worked wonders for us, but I find it easier now DS is in a different room. Check the clock though. It takes DS about 6 mins to calm himself, when he was next to me I rarely managed to leave him for 2 (it just feels so long!) but when there's a wall between us I can manage longer. Apart from the last few nights (when he has a terrible cold) he is usually able to sleep in his own cot for the majority of the night so I think it does work. I'd persevere for a few more nights if I was you. I'm going to reread the book over the next few days and see if there are any more tips that may work for us so I'll join you on your NCSS journey.

I shall also re-read the book and join you on your journey! Don't bother with the nap one though I found it a bit rubbish.

Quick whinge... he's been asleep for 90 mins now. Why, WHY, did I not have a nap when he did?!

DS is also asleep. Trying to nap but can't. Overtired perhaps!

Rubbish here too. From 2.30 he was awake mostly and grumbled til 7. The worst things is that he doesn't want to be awake any more than I do so he's getting as grumpy with me as I am with him!.

I think his eczema is really bothering him and I've just gone and made it worse by giving him tomato. He's got a rash everywhere

Positive post... The nap obviously did the trick. I have the happiest baby in the world now. He's merrily playing under his gym while I google wedding dresses

Definitely agree with leaving them for a few minutes to self settle. At around 11.30 we had the usual grumble, but I let him go for about 5 mins- seemed longer- and he went back to sleep till 4.30. Then feed and in with me for rest of the night. We had musical beds last night as dh had to sleep with eldest after we had him at OOH following major reaction to kiwi!! Only I knew the signs ( as I have anaphylaxis ) it would have been 999! Still scary tho- thought I was going to have to use my epipen on my 7 year old, but he settled ok. So ds (baby) is napping now ( over an hour!), got dinner etc prepared, makes life so much easier when they take a decent stretch. Oh, he hasn't vomited since yesterday, but won't eat, just bfing- am shocked that my supply has held up tbh, as what with working all day, I thought it had majorly dropped!

Hope the naps are longer for everyone today- perseverance is the key (I think!!)