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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

High-Need Baby Support Thread II

983 replies

tickleme63 · 22/01/2012 09:22

Hey ladies, here's a shiny new thread for us to discuss, query, whinge about and rejoice our high-need bubs!

Pretty bad night last night, bleeding exhausted. Can see why so many of you co-sleep. We haven't gone down that route, but it's never looked so attractive...

Gawd, grizzly DS. Poor tooths. Hope you have had a decent night!

OP posts:
LittleWaveyLines · 24/02/2012 16:53

Sleep is the biggie isn't it? I wonder if our babies got their full "quotient" of sleep, would they stop being high needs when awake?

I also wonder if I will ever get to sleep more than 2 hours in a row again... 8 months now!

(Mind you, she can't win... I've left her twice this week for a couple of minutes - once with a friend while I popped into another room, and once on the floor of a baby group while I helped with the washing up - and both times she didn't get upset, and didn't seem that bothered to see me when I got back! I was most upset! Grin ... then started worrying about whether she had poor attachment.. Hmm )

Original poster
tickleme63 · 24/02/2012 19:24

Welcome to the funny farm Em :)

Marginally better last night, with a couple of 3 hour stretches (unfortunately one was 7.30 to 10.30 so we didn't really get the benefit!)

We've also got another tooth making an appearance, poor fella. He's already got his 2 bottom ones and now a lateral incisor at the top is coming in... If the other one also comes in, he's going to look like a little vampire baby!

Have good nights, all :)

OP posts:
TitaniaP · 25/02/2012 11:01

Still no teeth here at over 8 months!
Apart from the lack of sleep and the fact that he needs entertaining constantly DS is a lot of fun at the moment. He is on the go constantly which is both fun and frustrating at the same time. This morning we just covered the lounge floor in sofa cushions and let him clamber all over them. He is so active - I need to keep a constant eye on him as he has no sense of danger.

Yesterday we went swimming and in the
changing rooms there is a waist high surface with changing mats all the way along it. All the other babies just lie there waiting to get changed DS is crawling along the bank trying to clamber over other babies, whilst I'm trying to get dry. All good fun.

How are other people coping with nappy changes and rolling. He has a habit of rolling mid-change which is great when he's got a dirty nappy. The only way to stop this is to pin him down which I (and he) hates. Have tried distraction - it doesn't work.

Also he's started screaming when we take something off him he shouldn't have (keys, laptop cable, phone charger, remote control). Not sure I like this display of temper! I just distract when he does it, but is this a taste of things to come?

Anyway thats my whine for the day - get one problem sorted (he's pretty much ok in the car these days) and another one surfaces. I think that's the joy of motherhood!

buttonmoon78 · 25/02/2012 20:43

Titania I hate the rolling when changing thing too. Its often messy... We also had a display of temper today. He was chewing the corner of his changing mat while I was creaming his back. I tunred him over which necessitated making encouraging him to let go. He had a total meltdown!

Ho hum. Hoping for a better night tonight than last night.

PeggyCarter · 25/02/2012 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleWaveyLines · 25/02/2012 21:11

Titania - re the rolling thing - I change her on my lap - it's a learnt skill but much easier to keep them in place :)

You won't believe this - I actually don't myself - but last night I cannot actually remember feeding her between 11pm and 5am... she may have actually slept through! Shock.

That will be the first time in her little life she has slept more than 2 hours or very occasionally 3 hours Shock

PeggyCarter · 25/02/2012 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 25/02/2012 22:28

Whoop. Well done Wavey. And thanks for the changing on lap tip. BabyTruth is also a roller. And screams if you take phone/keys/my necklace off him.

Our nights seem to be getting worse again. I feel like I'm taking one step forward and two back. DP is totally at the end of his tether: unhappy, swearing he never wants another child, really struggling to see how amazing DS is during the day as he's so overwhelmed by the evening screams. I don't know what to do. I already do 90% of the childcare & resettling at night.

buttonmoon78 · 25/02/2012 22:30

Can't do on the lap anymore. He's too strong and pushes himself off backwards. Seriously - once that boy decides he's going to lock his muscles it's like he's got rigor mortis!

Truth I'm sorry it's not so good at the moment. Hugs.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 25/02/2012 23:02

Thanks Titania I needed that hug! We just resorted to calpol. DP had to literally hold DS down to get it into him & i've guven him a big feed & he settled. Wonder how long till he's screaming again. I think it must be teeth or something (hence the calpol!) as he's just soooo upset & the usual cuddles/singing/bouncing had no effect at all. DP's now unwinding with a glass of Wine and a film & I'm in bed with my kindle. I just wish I could have one night of really rest. And a happy family.

This too will pass, this too will pass...

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 25/02/2012 23:02

Ugh, sleep deprivation. Thanks Button!!

buttonmoon78 · 25/02/2012 23:12

It will. Every stage whilst in it feels like a lifetime but when looking back it feels like a flash in the pan.

But that's cold comfort when you're in it right now Sad.

Here's hoping for a good night.

TitaniaP · 25/02/2012 23:14

Truth - have a hug from me too. Very un-mumsnetty this quiche.

PeggyCarter · 26/02/2012 03:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpannerPants · 26/02/2012 09:40

Morning ladies, sorry you had bad nights - if it's any consolation we did too

DS had been great last week, only 2 night wakings and he would feed then go straight back to sleep in his cot so I got to sleep in our bed! However for the last 2 nights he's been up and down from 1am so I've been attempting to cosleep but he's been either grunting and farting really loudly all night or pulling my hair, scratching my face, slapping me and biting so I haven't had much in the way of sleep for 48hrs now Hmm I'm hoping it's a growth spurt as he's now feeding 5 times a night.

DP is away on a course on Monday for 2 days which I'm not looking forward to - when the nights are bad I look forward to him being around to play with DS so I can laze on the sofa relax a bit. I really don't know how single parents do it!

buttonmoon78 · 26/02/2012 17:33

I'm not a bona fide single parent - just through circumstance as dh is away a lot for work (like now) and it is damn hard - knowing that it's you you you all the time. Am loving having my mum up - such a shame she's going tomorrow Sad

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that after horrid night on Friday, last night was brilliant. As in properly the stuff of fiction. 10.30. Til 7.15. With one dummy reinsertion. It's hilarious to think that with babies 1-3 this would have been normal a long time before now whereas it's something to celebrate in a slightly shell shocked way with dc4!

Here's hoping for better nights all round tonight Wine

Mampig · 26/02/2012 17:58

Button- my ' prob ' is 4th dc too!! Others slept thru early on- coincidence?? Or kick on the bum by mother nature?? Fair play to u with dp away a lot - I'd be in bits without him!

LittleWaveyLines · 26/02/2012 19:29

Wow Button - that's fab!

Here's hoping for good nights all round.... after our great night's sleep Friday, last night was pants - feeding/awake almost hourly...

I don't know how I'd cope with 3 other children, so I take my hat off to Button and Mampig! [shocked]

Grin
LittleWaveyLines · 26/02/2012 20:07

Oh and last week I was diagnosed with postnatal depression/anxiety and OCD... wonder how much of it is actually sleep-deprivation related....

I do worry about my DD's attachment though - so much of the time I am just going through the motions to get jobs done that I think I may have emotionally neglected her a bit - she gets carried around lots, but I'm still ignoring her IYSWIM...

Mampig · 26/02/2012 20:48

LWL - poor u! Can I ask who diagnosed u? GP? Or psychiatrist? (I am mental health practitioner). Guilt is symptom of PND, as for OCD- are you getting/ been referred for any help for it? There's lots you can do these days for both conditionsSmile.
Please don't feel guilty, or that dd has missed out on something emotional- you are doing all you can, and the attachment will be strong as she is always with you

LittleWaveyLines · 26/02/2012 21:19

I went to my GP about my huge anxiety ages ago, and had an online course to do with weekly "scoring" questionnaires.

Waste of time. Didn't speak to anyone, just did exercises which I sort of do already, being a pretty self-aware and sensible person....

They produced a lovely graph of my scores which they posted to me at the end of it and said I was "high on anxiety, moderate on depression" and speak to my GP again.

GP then referred me to the community mental health team, who rang me up twice (was a very lovely lady) for quite long times both times, lots of questions - obviously "scoring" things again, and then said I scored highly for anxiety, moderately for depression and OCD, and that these were related to PND.... apparently I will get to speak to someone face to face at some point... so not sure who has actually diagnosed me!

I so feel guilty though. I tried to give myself a target of making sure she laughs at least once a day, but i can't even manage that some days... :(

TitaniaP · 26/02/2012 21:26

LWL - so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Parenting is hard work, certainly harder than I had ever imagined and the lack of sleep never helps anyone. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Which I'm sure is easier said than done.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/02/2012 21:28

Oh LWL, I'm sure you're not 'ignoring' DD at all. I'm sure she knows how much you love her and care for her and is probably endlessly fascinated by whatever it is you're doing when you're carrying her round. FWIW, I very rarely give DS my undivided attention. Most of the time I'm trying to carry/entertain/feed him whilst also doing chores/MNing/preparing dinner. I found myself saying 'oh yes, he loves watching the washing go round' to a friend yesterday Hmm

I also can't 'make' DS laugh. What makes him laugh one day (mirrors for example) will get a blank look the next. He giggled all the way home from town today and I still have nooooo idea why - certainly nothing I did!

When do you get to talk to a real person about it? Is your health visitor around? Sending you [hugs], Brew and Thanks

Yes, a very 'unmumsnetty' quiche...

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/02/2012 21:35

Oh, and thank you puddles for your kind words. I do know that what DP is feeling is completely normal, but it's just so different to how I feel that we find it difficult to understand each other. I'm at a stage where I really don't mind how 'high needs' DS is overnight as he's just sooooo gorgeous during the day. DP clearly thinks I'm a loon and that we've been 'blessed' with an impossible child. Difficult.

I just wrote a load more and then deleted it because I know we need to sort our own problems out rather than vent about them on here. I just want my little family to be happy.

Oh, and last night was as bad as I feared it would be. DS woke me every hour until 3am, when I folded and got into the spare bed with him again. He's been in his own room for a week and I've woken up in my own bed once in that time. This too will pass, this too will pass...

LittleWaveyLines · 26/02/2012 21:37

Thank you both. She does get ignored though/ the lappy is always on and I'm always surfing - I cant cope otherwise.

I dont know when I get to speak to someone IRL, and I dont think I have a HV. It's random grannies who do the weighing at our baby clinic, and you have to queue to speak to a nursery nurse - who knows nothing...