The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

OP I'm sorry but this thread is going to be very confusing for you because as well as reading so many differing views, many of them are factually incorrect.

Please bear in mind that most of the replies are peoples' opinions based on problems they had (whether or not they not it or not) but also that many are incorrect in what they say.

As a peer supporter, trained to give informational, non-biased facts, I can tell you that actually, breastfeeding should not hurt in the first few weeks if you make sure the nipple is far enough back in the baby's mouth (all the way back to the soft pallet) and not rubbing on the harder, part of the roof of the mouth.

Also, as described by Fuchzia is incorrect in saying it WILL give you back ache! It will if you don't find a comfortable position, or if you take your breast to baby, rather than baby to breast etc. You need to try and sit with a straight back, legs at a right angle to body and you can use pillows/cushions etc to achieve this. Lyiing down with your baby can provide a relaxing position, especially if you're tired - although you should be careful to follow guidelines for co-sleeping at night or for long periods.

One mum's perception of pain is again different to another's and whilst what I said about bf not hurting if latch/attachement is good, you may experience a tingle from let down - but this is not painful. Afterbirth pains contractions can ache like period pain/labour pain but if this is the case, try taking paracetamol before a feed; as a mother, it's good to knwo that afterpains are just your uterus contracting back down after birth so are a positive thing.

Try finding a good doula/lactation consultant before you give birth who can help provide bf support after birth .

First time with DD it didn't really hurt apart from cracked nips. However with DS it hurt for about 3 weeks. I thought I had thrush but midwife said I didn't. It took a while to get used to the pain and I can see why some new mums can't take it.

Bought a breastfeeding 'cover' when I had DS, which was almost like an apron. Perfect for feeding in company, without having to hide upstairs, like I did when I had DD. Would really recommend one.

Another vote for sky plus and plenty to eat!

loopy I've heard what you have said about pain and latch so many times and yet all 3 of my babies have had the latch checked by mw, La leche lady and local peer support and the only thing they could come up with is that the babies had a small mouth don't they all?
The pain has lasted a week with each baby and once that has past the let down becomes a tingle. I am genuinely confused by the no pain thing as I have never met anyone for whom feeding was pain free including my friend who was a bf peer supporter. From everything I read I would appear to be doing something wrong at the beginning although babies pile on weight and it settles down.

Snake I have had similar painful experiences to you with all 9 of mine. I accepted that it would take 2 weeks to settle (although one took 6w). So, you are not alone in your puzzlement.

Sorry not read all the posts but for OP.

That combination feeding is very possible, and giving small amounts of formula will not destroy breast feeding.

I battled for 6 weeks with low milk supply. DD gained next to no weight (5oz in 6 weeks) and I feed CONSTANTLY. I was adamant about no firmula as had been told at a breast feeding workshop it would destroy any chance of sorting out supply. At 6 weeks DH put foot dwn and we started topping up with formula and DD thrived. I combination feed until we baby led weaned at 6 months (and yes formula feed babies can very successfully baby led wean!) and it worked brillantly for us.

Tongue tie is a really key thing - my DD had a really severe case, which none of the half dozen midwives who tried to help us bf in hospital even thought to check for. Got a bf counsellor round and that was the first thing she looked at, since it's been fixed she's just fine!

snakeonaplane not sure what you mean when you say "you've heard me say......so many times" yet I've actually changed my NN in the last couple of months and have only posted a couple of times in breastnbottle???

Perhaps you're thinking of someone else.

We have mums regularly coming to our weekly breastfeeding support group and before we watch them feed, they often say it hurts, however, after we've watched them feed and make a few suggestions as to how they might try to change position during the feed, they go away saying it was the first pain free feed; they wished they had known the tips earlier.

well, my tuppenceworth... milk will only come down if you let your baby keep trying to suck, so don't let him/ her go into a nursery and be wheeled out once every 4 hours. babies haven't read the books. You can try to gently milk your self with your fingertis and wipe it on the babys lips, to help him./ her. I lay down in bed and did it, baby next to me all the time. They sleep a lot, and wakke and nuzzle, so just relax!

try to do it alone, as people hovering, however well meaning can make you very hot and frustrated, plus the baby will sense your stress and get stressed. also you don't want to worry about flashing your boobs/ after tummy birth etc. OUT!

Eat lots of nice food, preferably fattening:) like mash etc and drink lots of water.

read your child from 0-5 by penelope leach as she is great about bf and has whole chapters on it and pictures. excellent,.

bf all the time, not at certain hours when it suits you/ in laws etc as you DO have enough milk even if people say your baby feeds as lot as its hungry --doh! yes, its a growing baby. anyway, you wll know- really, you will.

bf out and about, pasmina to cover, big t shirts, book in your bag, hot chocolate in the cafe...

its easier to bf- at night, you lean over, get baby, bf... no carrying yelling baby round house, doing bottles etc.

if you can't, don't stress. bottles are not the root of all evil. but don't give up too easily- some people handy with advice never actually bf or have had babies.

do it for as long as you and baby want. I did for 2 years each for all mine... loved it:)

find other mums who bf and hang out with them. might make it easier for you. or stay at home, relaxing with your pfb for as long as you can:)

I've skimmed a few pages and just want to emphasise what many have said about how painful it can be for the first 2 weeks. With DC I used to cry with the anticipation of the pain and with DC2 I actually screamed and one time passed out. I only persevered because every single one of my female friends had warned me that this was "normal" and not to believe any MW who said it was because I was doing it incorrectly. Only lasted about 7 days and I fed both DC exclusively breast milk for 6months.

Also my DC2 has a very bad tongue tie but I managed to bf through it so he hasn't had it snipped.

BF is brilliant once the first week or so is out of the way.

Drink lots of water. And then drink some more.

Fennel seed tea helped me increase production (or was a great placebo, doesn't matter :) )

Find out about mastitis and thrush so you will spot the problems before they become serious (wish I knew that)

When bfing in public, have a cheeky answer ready in case someone makes any unpleasant remark (I never had to use them, people have always been lovely to me)

What I mean is that I have heard what you wrote said by many people. I've read my post again again and I'm sure it makes sense although I apologise if I have confused you I'm not doing very well tonight see my fluconazole thread!

It's not always easy - but it can be.
Even a good latch can hurt while baby latches on.
How proud you will feel of yourself for sustaining and feeding your child by yourself.
How amazing the human body is!
That you will be starving and will require carbs all the time - I craved pizza, crisps, rice puddings.
Fruit cake, dried fruit and oats are all great for milk production.
Get lots of muslins for possetting.
Get a nice comfy cushion for lying baby on while bfing.
You will be really thirsty so drink plenty.
Buy a well fitting bra and make sure you have clothes in whuih you're happy to feed in, discreetly, anywhere.
Breast pads are essential!
That in the early days, especially, bfing has no routine and your baby will probably cluster feed in the evenings - my ds fed all night on day 2 of his life and I thought, eek! Will this continue for ever? But no, he was just making sure my milk had come in. It got better after that! And this is NORMAL - babies need to feed lots to boost your supply. It doesn't mean that you have no milk or that your baby is unhappy.
BF babies feed long and often sometimes. It might be an idea to print out some info on the benefits of bf for your disbelieving friends and family to give them if they tut at you...
Bfing is amazing - free, easy, portable milk made specially for your baby that will help your baby's immune system, increase her IQ, comfort her whenever she is upset.... :)
Agree that your family can do a million other things than feed the baby - get them to do practical things for you instead - make you a cuppa, wash up, tidy round, put a wash on....
I loved bfing my two. BF dd till 23 months and ds till 35 months :)

use both boobs in each feed, - if you want
20mins 1st one, then offer the second one - if you want
learn to feed lying down, then night feeds are v v relaxing - if you want
don't worry about nipple issues, if they get sore get emergency doctors apt. antibiotics clear stuff up within hours... and you can get by feeding off one side if you have to
relax and enjoy it, the months fly and you're weaning before you know it

oh yeah - dont buy expensive breast feeding tops

buy 7 cheat £1 vests from primark
cut the necks out deeper, so they lie under your boobs = tummy covering vests
wear under normal tops, flip top up, your tummy and back are still covered by vest

Sorry if this is a repeat.

The difference between baby sucking and baby swallowing.

You can't breastfeed and be a prude. Be aware that at some point (if not at least once a day) your boob will fall out of your top or your baby will stop mid-feed to have a good look at his surroundings. Accept this and you will do well. Try to cover it up all the time and you will struggle to feed.

Please don't tell people to time their feeds on each side! Feeding on demand is just that; an adult sometimes fanices a three course meal but then sometimes just fanices a round of cheese on toast.

It's the same for babies.

If you constantly offer a set time on one side, then the baby won't be getting the fattier milk from the same side.

Best to let the baby feed on the same side for however long or short they like and then when they come off themself, it means they're full. Then next time, offer the next side.

loopydoo, you don't need to time them, however excessively long feeds can be a sign of poor latch and inefficient milk transfer, so if a baby has been on one side for an hour it is worth checking, especially if they seem to need feeding again within 30 minutes or you are feeding every hour for a long period of time.

To expect baby to feed none stop at first and ignore others around you saying that means the baby is not getting what they need and what they need is a bottle. Babies need to stimulate the milk they need and this can take many weeks for your production to get going so just go with the flow and allow baby to stay at your breast and as often as they like. They will fall asleep at first, being next to your mummies boobie is very cosy so if that keeps happening, strip baby down to nappy. They hate being naked and will immediately wake up a little cross but as soon as you put them on they will guzzle away and will be warm against your skin and a blanket. Plus any excuse for some skin to skin is nice. Also a little foot tickle wakes them up to carry on feeding. Many babies nap all the time during feeds in the early days so it can feel like you are constantly feeding. Don't compare yourself to friends whose babies feed every four hours, bf new born babies do not do that. If you just go with it and enjoy these feeds where you have to sit down and relax - what a great excuse then the months fly past and soon when you're friends are rushing about trying to get the bottle ready whilst their baby is screaming their head off all your little one does is make a few snuffly sounds rooting and you know to just pop them on and they feed 5 - 10 mins and done! My first babies feeds were about 15 - 20 mins by 4mths, baby 2 and 4 were 5-10 mins by four months. I did not really count their feeds but know they fed roughly every 2 hours. Because the feeds were so quick it was not a problem. I enjoyed it too and it was always nice to have to take time out to sit down and cuddle for a few mins. I noticed alot of my friends with more than 1 child who bf passed the baby for a friend to feed whilst they dealt with their toddler. Those early days are so special x

Also all three times it hurt me for two weeks enough I got my latch checked. But I have many friends who said it never really hurt so maybe I just have sensitive boobs. I guess it just takes them some time to get used to it all.
So get your latch checked when you can and make sure before you leave hospital that someone has watched you feed as many times as possible. If you do not feel confident feeding before you leave, make sure you tell a midwife so they can either keep you longer until feeding is established or they organise for a bf councellor to visit you at home. Just believe in yourself and know that this is a whole learning curve for you and baby, you both need to work it out and their will be ups and downs, collect support numbers now so you have them at hand for when you need advice. Even call them before so you know what the process is like.

No shortage of advice on this thread...!!

A couple of extra things from my own experience:

1. I had to mix-feed for the first few weeks because DD wouldn't latch and started to prefer a bottle (nipple shields didn't help with her nipple "confusion", they made it worse). I expressed to keep my supply up and using a Special Nursing Supplementer (tubes taped to my nips, running from a little bottle of EBM hanging from my neck), got DD onto the breast and she was exclusively breast-fed from about 6 weeks onwards. It was a lot of work, but well worth it, DD eventually weaned at 19 months. Wish I'd known about the SNS earlier!!

1. Gently pinching the baby's earlobes (NOT to cause pain!!) and massaging their feet can help encourage the suck reflex if they're a bit sleepy and reluctant in the early days. Strange advice from Spanish nurses, but it seemed to help!

1. One way to stop catastrophic leakage from the non-feeding breast: use a muslin or old t-shirt and press firmly on your nipple with the heel of your hand for a minute (so it goes "inside out"). Works brilliantly. Or, as someone else suggested, use breast shells to catch the leaks and store the milk for emergency use.

1. I found disposable breast-pads made me sweaty and itchy and tended to disintegrate unpleasantly. Eventually I bought some washable pads and although they weren't quite as neat in my bra, they were MUCH more comfortable.

1. Lactose overload is very common in breastfed babies. If yours seems to be having problems with too much wind, this may be the cause. If so, it can be helped by restricting feeding to one breast at a time for four hours, then swapping. That plus tummy massages and leg-cycling helped my DD. After a few weeks they grow out of it (when their digestive system starts making enough lactase to fully digest the milk).

1. Breastfed babies do not necessarily need to be winded after a feed. If you have a strong let-down and a "gulper", then winding is probably a good idea. I found with DD, once the lactose overload had stopped, she didn't need winding after a feed and that is true of many breast-fed babies.

Despite our difficult start, I loved breastfeeding DD. Good luck to you and your baby, I hope it works out the way you want it!

Oh and breastmilk is incredible stuff -

rubbing it on your nipples after a feed can actually help prevent soreness.

and don't use saline to unblock a baby's nose when you've got breastmilk - squirt some of that up there, it does the job even better!