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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

319 replies

Fishpond · 11/01/2012 03:04

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of Hmm looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else" Hmm

OP posts:
justasmallglass · 16/01/2012 20:26

For very sore nipples (which can happen in the early weeks) best tip, other than creams is to air the other one when you change sides, don't pop it back in your bra again. Of course as long as you are somewhere it doesn't matter to have full boobage on show!

It can be hard at first, but is one of the most special things, and you may fall asleep, it is so relaxing! good luck

justasmallglass · 16/01/2012 20:27

True, they may well want more!

Thusnelda · 16/01/2012 20:43

Early useful advice for me was to keep the baby awake a little longer by tickling her ear for example so she would feed a wee bit longer. (Nowhere near 20 minutes though!!) Still had to feed her very often at first of course.

mozchops · 16/01/2012 20:51

Agree that it can be painful for a few weeks. I had my latch checked numerous times and it was fine, but it still hurt! Also, he was in neo-natal care for 3 days and was given a mix of formula and my expressed milk / colostrum and we still managed to get breast feeding going. After the first few weeks I was so grateful that I didn't have to sterilise bottles and that I could go out and not worry about taking milk with me. Things that helped were joining a breastfeeding group so I could talk to other people in the same situation, a really supportive husband and family who wanted to help make it work and kind (mostly!) midwives and health visitors. Good Luck!

TheThingUpstairs · 16/01/2012 21:06

Nipple shields can be very useful if your baby has problems latching on.
Having a bath with your baby can encourage them to bf.
If you can feed lying down you can get a lot more rest.
Feeding in the rugby ball position is good to help clear blocked ducts.

ClickyPenguin · 16/01/2012 22:33

The whole let-down thing is quite mysterious and too much thinking and analysing may not help - it's sort of matter-over-mind. Unless you feel completely relaxed with whoever is trying to help you (and ready to accept their help) you may find let-down is inhibited, so try and save their advice to put into practice in private. The right mental state was very important for me. I couldn't do it with the TV on (in the beginning), too much flashing and distraction; the best thing for expressing, which generally I found difficult, was doing jigsaw puzzles, which kept that bit of my brain absorbed.

Make sure you are physically absolutely comfortable, with support for your back (chair probably better than bed unless you can sit right up with loads of pillows for support) with a cushion to take the baby's weight so your shoulders aren't tense.

KathleenMay · 16/01/2012 22:37

That babies differ from each other in how they feed - so all the varied advice you get from mums, while useful, may or may not fit in with what will be your experience! My first was a guzzler, and hungry, I made the mistake of thinking that his crying as soon as he latched on meant he wasnt hungry - I realised after he was just very impatient and couldnt be bothered waiting for my milk let down! My second was a dawdler, suck a few times, stop and slip off onto the nipple (ow!) and look round a bit, then suck a bit more (queu constant fresh latching on, and frustration as my first was a small toddler and I had stuff to DO!) So your baby's personality, oddly enough, will effect their feeding style, and therefore your routine, timings, soreness, sleeping, etc

I thought I was oing to be an earth mother and breastfeed for months and swan through it. I didnt. I found it hard hard work. The closeness in ages caused some extra pressure I suppose.

Main thing to remember, try it, try hard so you can feel you really gave it a shot, and then if it doesnt work, dont beat yourself up.

crumpet · 16/01/2012 22:57
  • it can hurt like f* at the beginning (mild discomfort my arse - I used to weep at the thought of the oncoming feed)
  • don't panic if it seems that you are feeding your baby blood - get the help to sort it out (and it will sort itself out, don't worry)
  • lansinoh is a godsend
  • a bottle in the first couple of days for that occasion when it all is too much/ you are too exhausted is not the end of the world
  • when you finally crack it it is fantastic. So convenient, no sodding sterilising, and you are prepped and ready to take the baby anywhere without worrying about feeds (26 hour flight to Australia on my own with dd at 10weeks old was a breeze on the feeding front)
cityangel · 16/01/2012 23:48

you really need to appreciate supply and demand. Especially when there are growth spurts you need to feed when the baby seems hungry not because a book/ family member/ etc tells you to.

I really valued the cushion I had and found good positioning made a huge difference.

My mistakes were allowing a lot of comfort suckling in the long term transforming myself into a human dummy!

It is sooo worth persevering, my milk was late coming in, baby was hospitalised... with the support of the feeding guide and getting used to feeding out of the house early on I went for it and it gets easier. I found empire line feeding tops very covering and above all it became very convenient.

If you don't get them used to expressed breast milk in the bottle (not too early but also not too late they won't accept the teat.

GeekLove · 17/01/2012 13:40

Also I can recommend bfing in the bath for some skin-to-skin. This can also help bonding if your birth wasnt what you wanted.

TinkerMaloo · 17/01/2012 13:59

pros: no bottles to clean, nothing to sterilise, always ready when you need it, perfect temperature, perfect fomulation, great bonding, free (except for your comsumption of cake or other such loveliness)

cons: hard at first and during growth spurts

I breastfed both of my two til 20 months and 15 months and i will be breastfeeding the one i am currently preparing :)

and yeah, dont buy bottles and formula just incase... trust your body! as long as you dont eat like a mouse on a diet you will be ok :)

if it hurts get advice as the latch may not be quite right, theres a definite knack to it and some babies arent naturals!

its the best thing in the world! :)

VirginiaMom · 17/01/2012 14:02

Wow, you are getting lots of advice - which I think underlines the fact that every mother and every baby is different, so try stuff out to find out what works for you.

I had my first baby in the US - where the medical staff were VERY pro breastfeeding. It was something I wanted to do anyway so no problem, I was encouraged and supported all the way - for those moms not wanting to BF they were under a lot of pressure to have a go. In the hospital a nurse came and spent time helping us to get going, there was never any feeling that she had to be somewhere else. After we got home the hospital ran a nurse-led weekly BF support group open to anyone, whether you were getting on fine or needing help, just go along for a chat regardless.

In public (in the US, nearly 10 years ago anyway!) I think it's tougher, it can be difficult to find somewhere private to feed - clothing store changing rooms can be useful! I never had anyone make an adverse comment, but my view is that everyone else eats out in public, (especially in the US), so why shouldn't babies too? So I would feed anywhere, regardless, in the end - although discretely of course! I fed my son until he was 13 months, and only stopped then because I was ill and prescribed strong drugs. During that time we did a lot of travelling (literally all over the world), and BF was amazingly convenient - never needed to stress about running out of bottles, sterlising anything, or watching the clock to get home if we were out. I also went back to work full time and expressed so I could send a bottle to the daycare center.

I had my second baby in the UK and was appalled at the lack of support the new mother trying to breastfeed in the bed opposite me received. The nurse was impatient and irritable and she just didn't give good advice. The poor woman was trying to feed sitting on the edge of the bed - no back support - and was clearly stressed. IMO good back support and being calm and relaxed are very important and frankly basics that the nurse should have helped her with. Thankfully at least I knew what I was doing even if DD didn't to begin with, and I ended up feeding her until things came to a gradual and natural end when she was turning 2.

Things that helped me, in no particular order were:

Good support from family who respected my choices

A conviction that this was what I wanted to do and beleived in, and that I had the basic human right to feed my baby, privately and in public if that was what I wanted to do. By the way it's what nature intended!

Convenience - see above - don't let the idea of being 'tied' to the baby put you off - a routine is acheiveable, expressing is an option, (but timing for introducing a bottle is important - not to soon or too late, at 6 weeks ish), and in reality it's not for long, it goes all too quickly!

Sit comfortably and be relaxed - good back support, and a 'Boppy' pillow - I managed to find an inflatable one I could carry around with me.

Keep your fluid intake up - drink while feeding

Have the TV remote and phone to hand when you sit down to feed

If, (that'll be when), you get sore use Lansinol (purple package) - it's awesome - buy some before baby arrives

You may need a breastpump when your milk comes in to make you more comfortable - you may be able to hire one from the hospital?

My mother in law only gave me one piece of advice - she's fed 6 babies - she said feed for ten minutes on each side at each feeding and alternate which side you start on. It worked for me anyway

An ice pack in your bra will help if you get mastitis - and get baby to feed on that side first and often until the symptoms are gone. Obviously you can't go out with your bra full of ice but then I don't think you'll feel much like going out if you do get mastitis

If you're getting advice that's not working then don't be afraid to look elsewhere

Have numbers of support lines in your phone before the baby arrives - then you won't be looking for them amid the chaos of a new baby

Be aware of the baby treating you like a pacifier given half a chance - I hear about babies who 'feed constantly' and wonder to what extent they are having mum on - mine both tried it, once I realised what was going on I just made them wait half an hour, or whatever was a sensible time, (without starving them or letting them get distressed of course!).

Finally, if you find it's not for you and your baby then that's OK too, it doesn't always work out, don't beat yourself up and instead just focus on enjoying your baby, he/she'll be in school before you know it. But if you're struggling and still want to do it then get help and support. Good luck!

NorthernWreck · 17/01/2012 14:09

not read whole thread so sorry if repeating what others have said.

  1. You don't have to have the baby attached to your nipple 24/7. After the first couple of days I fed every 2.5-3 hours, baby gained weight, I had a routine. You absolutely can have a routine and BF.
  1. It hurts like fuck for the first week or so, even if you are doing it right, and you have to grit your teeth until your nipples toughen up (I know-gross, but they dont stay tough for ever!)
  1. Savoy cabbage leaves in the bra prevent against mastitas.(sp?)
NorthernWreck · 17/01/2012 14:11

Oh yeah, and ...when you do stop breast feeding, for God's sake stop eating so much! (Trust me on this one.)

sheeplikessleep · 17/01/2012 14:31

NorthernWreck - I think you're lucky to have a baby who fed every 2.5 - 3 hours from a couple of days old. Lots of newborns breastfeed much more frequently to establish supply and see them through growth spurts, particularly in the early weeks and months. But as always, every baby is different. Having a 2.5/3 hourly routine with a breastfed newborn goes against the current advice of feeding on demand and responding to baby's hunger cues.

sheeplikessleep · 17/01/2012 14:32

But do agree with you on stopping eating when stopping breastfeeding

jan2011 · 17/01/2012 15:26

it gets so much easier and u can start to enjoy it - i near gave up with problems at start and so so glad i persevered.

my most helpful thing is to lie down it means i get a rest too.

also if boob is too full to express some before baby latches on it means it is easier for her and me.

i love bf now. it seems so much easier than messing around with bottles.

PullyWoolOver · 17/01/2012 15:45

Huge thanks for all the advice on this thread ladies!

Having a bad couple of days with the BF this week (week 4) and your posts have both reassured me that all is (or will be) OK and it is definitely worth persevering. Smile just what I needed.

JugglingWithSnowballs · 17/01/2012 16:06

Great PullyWoolOver

Congratulations on your new baby !
And the great job you're doing for them !

MandyT68 · 17/01/2012 16:41

I found a breast feeding pillow and, thus, correct positioning was a life saver. Also, putting feet up on a stool so knees were slightly higher than hips helped get comfortable. Once started it is amazing and I could never understand all the flap with sterilising and so forth. Buy the right clothes. Big voluminous tops mean that you can tuck the baby under and carry on having a social life. Dads don't have to hold a bottle to bond. However, if you do need to use a bottle for returning to work etc then don't leave it too late as mine really hated it and ended up just going straight to a cup at 6 months.

brandrethmupp · 17/01/2012 16:48

In answer to original question - the absolute agony despite all the support from hospital, La Leche league etc. coming out, the rugby hold which always took ages to set up with all the cushions. Bottles were not faffing - they were my saviour.

xlatia · 17/01/2012 17:15

Haven't read through all previous posts but if you're going to read only one book on the subject, make sure to make it "the womanly art of breastfeeding" from la leche league. it's a bit patronising in places, but totally comprehensive and full of common sense ideas and contacts (esp. for the US). it was the only book i read and bfing 3 months old ds has been a doodle so far.

good luck!

ipswichwitch · 17/01/2012 18:07

dont worry if, like mine, your baby comes 6 weeks early by emergency CS then has to be tube fed for the first 2 weeks. i thought that was the end of my plans for BFing, but thanks to some brilliant support from the MWs, i started expressing straight away, so at least DS got the benefit of being tube fed my milk. after a few days he was strong enough to be put to the breast and we had to start with one BF a day, building up til he was able to BF at every feed and be allowed home at 3 weeks old. just because you may not get the ideal start and be able to BF properly straight away does not mean you never will. the bit of skin to skin we had before he went to SCBU def helped things along and now he feeds like a trooper.

dont believe anyone who says BF babies dont get wind. they can and do.

remember every baby is different, what works for one may not work for yours.

BF and FFing are very different, the same rules dont really apply - esp the "he cant be hungry again already" brigade. he can and is and for the last time breast milk is very different to formula and no i dont need to start weaning my 3 month old just cos he wants to feed every 1-2 hrs sometimes.

sit back and enjoy some guilt free cake while you're at it :)

Ireneisback · 17/01/2012 18:43

Get as much help as you can in the hospital. First time I didn't. Second time I unashamedly asked a midwife to watch me latch DS on each time I did it. I found bf much easier. I still got bloody and cracked nipples, but it was nowhere near as bad as the first time.

It can be really horrible when you are getting established, really painful but it is so worth it and it is so easy and natural when you get there, not to mention much cheaper than formula.

In my experience, neither of my two boys were affected by my giving them a bit of formula when I was absolutely at my wits end. I topped him up with it in hospital and had some for just before bedtime at home. It helped me when I was really tired and suffering with nips so sore they never healed between feeds. It didn't affect my milk supply. Am now exclusively bf DS2 who is 2 months old.

NorthernWreck · 17/01/2012 20:56

sheeplikes sleep -I know I know, I was told to feed on demand too, but I was lucky in that I had virtual geysers on my chest and my baby was a good feeder, so he would get a bellyful, and that would be enough for a good while.
That is not to say he never cried between feeds, but I didn't give him the breast whenever he cried, only when he did the tongue rooty thing, and then I knew he was hungry.
I think the fact that he had a "full meal" at each feed did help regulate my milk too, because he wasnt constantly nipping back for snacks.

I was on my own when he was born, so tbh I couldnt just sit and feed all day, and it was important that I managed to establish a routine just to keep going.
But I did have a good size baby, and as I said he always fed well, so if I had another one it might be completely different.