HV forcing me to feed 5 week old DS water and to let him scream :( . Really need advice. :/

[SchrodingersMew]

Okay, so I already posted a thread before as my DS has been eating far too much.Thread is here Well now my HV has said that I have to feed him water as in 5 weeks he is apparently going to be off the charts.

I really didn't want to give him water as for 1, he doesn't like it at all and keeps choking on it and 2, I keep hearing lots of conflicting advice about how you shouldn't give babies water. It isn't even getting him from feed to feed as he is inconsolibly crying. :( It's breaking my heart and I'm being told that letting him scream and scream isn't cruel but continuing to feed him when he wants is.

She is also telling me that if I don't give him water he is going to end up in hospital from dehydration. No one else I know gives or even thinks to give their babies water.... We had problems with heating but that's now solved so I don't see how he could get dehydrated especially with the amount of milk he has been taking.

Please help. :(

She can't force you to do anything he's your son and you don't have to see her, do what you think is right.

Jeez.... You need to make a complaint and refuse to see her ever again. It's great your baby is feeding so well and thriving.

Okay, so I seen the GP today. He said DS is perfectly healthy, he has no concerns about his weight and he is definitely well hydrated. The only problem he has is a bit of dry skin and lips which he gave me cream for. :)

He said that I can offer water between feeds to keep his mouth wet if I want to but I do not have to give him water as he is well hydrated. He has no concerns at all about his weight or that the amount he has been feeding has had any bad effects.

He also said he spoke to the HV and she said to him that my house is very warm and she keeps telling people that "DS looked like a lobster when she came", the GP replied that "lots of houses are warm so that doesn't make a difference at all". Also, the time she is referring to she had just made me get him out of bed and wake him up and strip him so he was about to cry and that's why his face was red.

Jennifer 50oz per day! And yes, it is hard to keep up with at times.

I wasn't a big baby but DP was, he was 9lb 2oz. We really expected our LO to be quite big too and were told he would be at a growth scan before he was born, it's just he was born that little bit early. :)

SkinnyJeans Exactly, you can't force feed them and there's no way I am willing to remove feeds and have him scream for hours. I trust him to let me know when he's hungry and I will listen to him and not some crazy stranger who thinks I should let him cry it out.

Lilham I think it is now clear she is definitely trying to undermine me because of my age, which quite frankly is crap. I know lots of people who are much older than me that I wouldn't let near a child. Age really is only a number.

Pozzled, Rita and Lilham Thank you for helping with the charts, it has been extremely helpful!

Crikey I am now considering sending a letter suggesting further training. She really did upset me and if I hadn't been the type of person to question her 'advice' then I might be upsetting and withholding food for no good reason.

Thank you everyone for being so nice and helping so much. I know I have posted many threads on MN in the past months and I am always overwhelmed by the amount people are willing to help. :) I really do very much appreciate everyone's replies. :)

Oh imagine my surprise, of course the baby's fine, you'd know if he wasn't.

Glad the GP has set your mind at rest.

so glad the GP dealt properly with this. You must feel much better!

Your DS doesn't sound particularly big to me - my DS was 9lbs 8oz at birth and well over 13lbs at 5 week. Wonder what your hv would make of him (demand bf so his growth couldn't be down to over feeding)

Sorry you are having such a truely awful time. That hv is undermining your confidence and not offering any useful advice.

Please don't leave your DS to cry! And he is too small to be offered water unless you are not in uk and somewhere incredibly hot?

You need to see your GP and explain the problems you are experiencing with the hv. Also that horrid hv will have a boss somewhere and you are perfectly entitled to phone up and complain. And I think you should.

If your DS is feeding very frequently I would consider silent reflux as others have suggested. Look it up to check for other symptoms and also discuss with GP.

I hope you sort that hv out quick so you can get back to enjoying your baby. It will be first smiles from him very very soon.

Yah for a decent GP. If the HV rings/turns up I would say I will book an appointment with Dr X if you are so concerned about ds. That may help her back off!

Good outcome then Shrodingers, of course if the HV had been doing her job properly, you wouldn't have needed to take him to the GP at all.

At least you have been reassured though and now can get the HV off your back.

Hope you have a good weekend.

Am so pleased you've seen someone with some sense. Now you can get back to what you want to be doing - enjoying your perfectly normal if a little hungry baby boy.

Stick with the GP!! He sounds just like mine, fed up with having his time wasted by HV refering healthy babies! I went twice in two weeks, acheived nothing! My HV has been frightening me quite abit recently but I have read up on all the issues surrounding weight gain(our prob) and there is nothing amiss really.

Don't forget their role is as ADVISORS(they sometimes do!), if you don't want or agree with their advice you are ok to ignore it and if you feel you need help seek it from somewhere else.

Ignore HVwho clearly is talking out of her arse mistaken in her views. Feed him as he is obviously thirsty/hungry. If his lips are chapped he needs more milk not less. HV can't force you to do anything, it's your baby!!!

Hi everyone. :)

HV came for the last fecking time, woo hoo! final visit today. I pulled her up on the red book saying he shouldn't be weighed more than once a month as it can cause undue worry. She looked a bit surprised and just kind of moved on.

I think the GP must have spoken to her again after we met as this time she was very polite, didn't question me, didn't even mention weight or water (even though she has been adamant for the past few weeks) and actually complemented me!

He has been getting the odd bit of water, 20ml occasionally but that's just so he will drink the gripe water and I know he will take all of it.

He's also cut down his own feeds. :) He's colicy at night though so trying to get over that now! Otherwise though he is amazing. :)

Very much chuffed now I can enjoy my little boy without her trying to convince me to change the way I am parenting.

She did today though try and convince me to stop putting him down after feeds and carry him around in a sling or wrap 24/7. But she got a straight "no, I don't want to do that". :)

Thank you everyone for your support, I don't think I would have built up the confidence to voice my opinions with her otherwise. You're all lovely!

The sling thing can reduce colicky symptoms but it was never something I could take to. Too hot, huge baby, bad back oh and I'm tiny. My babes were sooooo tall and I'm a midget.

Well done for finding your confidence and I'm glad you've seen the back of the HV!

Random Thanks. :) She told me to use it because I have bad wrists and my thumbs sublux, forgetting I also have a bloody awful back.

Oh well, it's really just not something I can take to but will admit she could have simply forgotten I have a bad back. And am also a midget so would look and feel fairly silly!

Classic Thanks. :)