Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

HV forcing me to feed 5 week old DS water and to let him scream :( . Really need advice. :/

90 replies

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:06

Okay, so I already posted a thread before as my DS has been eating far too much.Thread is here Well now my HV has said that I have to feed him water as in 5 weeks he is apparently going to be off the charts.

I really didn't want to give him water as for 1, he doesn't like it at all and keeps choking on it and 2, I keep hearing lots of conflicting advice about how you shouldn't give babies water. It isn't even getting him from feed to feed as he is inconsolibly crying. :( It's breaking my heart and I'm being told that letting him scream and scream isn't cruel but continuing to feed him when he wants is.

She is also telling me that if I don't give him water he is going to end up in hospital from dehydration. Confused No one else I know gives or even thinks to give their babies water.... We had problems with heating but that's now solved so I don't see how he could get dehydrated especially with the amount of milk he has been taking.

Please help. :(

OP posts:
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 02/11/2011 21:11

I'm going to go look at that thread, because my initial reaction is for you to ignore her tell her to fuck right off and just feed your poor DS what he wants, but I'm wary in case there really is some unimaginable reason why you should be doing it.

Apricots · 02/11/2011 21:11

I can't see your other thread as I'm on my phone but I would personally ignore the health visitor and feed my child if they were hungry. The charts are a guideline of average weights but there are always going to be children who don't follow the average.

PogoBob · 02/11/2011 21:12

Someone more knowledgeable will come along but please ignore her and stick to demand feeding - DD was a big girl (pretty much 14lbs at 6 weeks) and the HV muttered about her size but at 15mo she is totally normal.

SecretNutellaFix · 02/11/2011 21:12

Do you use a dummy at all? Is he crying because he wants something to suck rather than actually hungry perhaps? Or what about changing to a hungrier baby formula?

PogoBob · 02/11/2011 21:13

Plus a HV can't really force you to do something - weighing is optional

NotJustClassic · 02/11/2011 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ginmakesitallok · 02/11/2011 21:17

If you think your baby is happy and healthy then you don't have to see hv our get him weighed.

BertieBotts · 02/11/2011 21:19

Can you ask to be referred to a dietician or something? Or at least get a second opinion from somewhere - GP?

I think it's unlikely he's going to get dehydrated when he's taking so much formula. What does she think it's made from?!

My gut instinct would be to go with it and see if he levels out, even though he's taking so much. It does seem a lot, but he's not off the charts now, is he? And you can keep an eye on the signs of dehydration and try to give him some water if he shows any of them. But I'm not a health professional and I have no idea what could be causing this other than hunger. It may be that there is something else going on.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:21

She really is forcing me though. Today was meant to be her last visit but she's not decided to extend it to make sure he feeds less and I start giving him water. Angry I tried to say no today and that's when she started telling me he was going to end up hospitalised with dehydration!

And he uses a dummy too but he spits it out when he wants milk.

OP posts:
CombineArvester · 02/11/2011 21:22

Hi again Schrodinger, sorry you are going through this worrying time.

I think you should take your baby to the GP and get some definitive advice about whether he is dehydrated or not, whether or not he needs water etc. I mix fed but I understand it is unusual for FF babies to need water in winter at this age...I thought they only needed it in hot weather. Are his nappies nice and wet?

I also wonder if your baby might have silent reflux - my eldest did and he seemed to be hungry all the time because the milk eased his sore throat. The feeding too much of course made the situation worse. The uncontrollable crying rings a bell too.

Have a google and see if he has any other symptoms of silent reflux.

I would avoid any hungry baby milk / not worry too much about the water, but get to GP and see what they say.

NotJustClassic · 02/11/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crikeybadger · 02/11/2011 21:23

Agree with Bertie- I would try and see another GP (I think you said one had already agreed with the water).

Is he still drinking the same amount of formula as before, even though the heating situation is sorted?

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:24

BertieBotts No he's not off the charts now, he's 9lb 5oz. That's about the weight I was told he was going to be before he was born but he was born at 38 weeks. I don't know if he's just trying to catch up.

The only signs of dehydration I believe he has showed is sometimes smelly pee and chapped lips. His lips have been chapped since birth though. Confused

Oh I really have no idea what's right to do and what's not. :(

OP posts:
EleanorRathbone · 02/11/2011 21:26

OK I think you need to print out some information from the WHO breastfeeding pages and tell her to stick them up her arse read them. I would also actually send copies to her boss and ask the boss why she hasn't been trained to know about breastfeeding.

RandomMess · 02/11/2011 21:26

were you or your dp huge babies? could some of this be catch up feeding as he was meant to be a "big" baby?

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:27

NotJustClassic My Doctors don't even offer you the option of a 6 week check, they just don't do them!

I think at my next appointment I will ask her to refer to peads if she is worried, I hadn't even thought of that.

Crikey No not so much apart from last night where he wanted to feed constantly.

OP posts:
crikeybadger · 02/11/2011 21:28

Eh? How can a baby drinking those amounts of formula be dehydrated?

HV sounds a bit 'odd' to put it politely and you should in no way feel that you are being forced to do something that you are not happy about. (unless she can back up her instructions to you with medical evidence)

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:28

Eleanor Unfortunately, I am not BFing (can't) or else I would have already printed it out.

Random DP was 9lb,2oz.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 02/11/2011 21:29

I think it would be definitely worth trying to stick to doing bottle nursing as well as far as possible - not necessarily the skin to skin if that is difficult but making sure you hold the bottle horizontal so that gravity is not forcing or helping any milk into your baby's mouth but that any milk he is getting he is actively working for. Some proponents of this method (google "kassing method" if you want more info) suggest also using bottles which have narrow rather than wide teats and extra-slow-flow teats, again to mean he has to work for the milk so he has to actually want it rather than just passively taking it in. You could also look at something like a haberman feeder which has a special valve so that milk only comes out of the teat when they are actively sucking.

BertieBotts · 02/11/2011 21:33

You can refuse to see a HV. Sometimes their language makes it seem like you have to go and see them or something terrible will happen, but nothing will. When DS' weight gain was levelling out at 4 months they advised me to give baby rice and threatened all sorts of awful things, they wrote REVIEW IN FOUR WEEKS in his red book. I didn't go back. Nothing happened. We were in hospital the next week for an unrelated thing and HV made a courtesy phone call. My abscence at clinic was not mentioned (although I almost shat myself when she phoned up! Blush)

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:33

Crikey I didn't think it would be possible to be dehydrated drinking that much. Confused

I would have just told her that I don't want to see her anymore but during my pg when I was in a bit of a state at a MW appointment (was having a horrid time) the MW referred me to social work as she "thought I might not cope" Hmm I tried to assure her that there was nothing wrong with my mental state outwith pg but to no avail. :( Althought the social worker thinks there was no reason for me to be referred and I need no involvement I would rather not give them extra reasons to be involved too IYSWIM?

I'm just terrified the HV is now going to get in touch with the social worker and tell her I'm a crap mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:37

Bertie I use the DrBrowns bottles now because they are helping with wind and they're not wide neck. I sit him up when feeding as well.

Think he's just a grubber in all honesty. :o

OP posts:
ginmakesitallok · 02/11/2011 21:38

And if she does then sw might visit you again, but will see that you are coping and have a healthy thriving baby

RandomMess · 02/11/2011 21:38

Sounds like your on "the list"

They now target their time with parents who they feel need their support, everyone else gets nothing Confused

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:39

And I can't just not go because she comes to my house!

Woman turns up when I've basically just managed to get to sleep and suggests sending me for confidence building classes because I'm half asleep. Angry Then the cheek of it, turns round and says I should automatically get healthy start vouchers because I'm 16.... I'm nearly 21! Angry

OP posts: