Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

HV forcing me to feed 5 week old DS water and to let him scream :( . Really need advice. :/

90 replies

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:06

Okay, so I already posted a thread before as my DS has been eating far too much.Thread is here Well now my HV has said that I have to feed him water as in 5 weeks he is apparently going to be off the charts.

I really didn't want to give him water as for 1, he doesn't like it at all and keeps choking on it and 2, I keep hearing lots of conflicting advice about how you shouldn't give babies water. It isn't even getting him from feed to feed as he is inconsolibly crying. :( It's breaking my heart and I'm being told that letting him scream and scream isn't cruel but continuing to feed him when he wants is.

She is also telling me that if I don't give him water he is going to end up in hospital from dehydration. No one else I know gives or even thinks to give their babies water.... We had problems with heating but that's now solved so I don't see how he could get dehydrated especially with the amount of milk he has been taking.

Please help. :(

OP posts:

EleanorRathbone · 02/11/2011 21:49

Oh sorry, didn't clock that.

Ignore her about the leaving to cry as well. She sounds like she's on your case because you're young and she's throwing her weight around rather than supporting you.

Do you have an older relative who can be there when she comes and tell her to fuck off on your behalf? (diplomatically of course.) I know that's kind of giving in to her prejudice, but nincompoops lilke her are more likely to listen to an older woman telling her what's what. How dare she tell you to leave your baby to cry, that is overstepping her remit big time.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 21:52

I do have an older relative who's here with me while she's here, instead of talking to me like I'm the parent she tries to discuss me with the relative as if I am the baby! She will literally ask me a question and when I answer her she will then go on to ask my DGM if my answer is the truth etc. However, this was before I learned she thought I was 16.

OP posts:

PessimisticMissPiggy · 02/11/2011 21:57

Go and see your GP with your red book and ask them to write down any advice that thet give you in the notes pages. It doesn't matter that they don't do 6 week checks in your area, you are entitled to speak to a GP about this matter.

When the HV comes around she'll see you've seen a GP and I dare her to contradict their advice. Too much reliance is put on these growth charts.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:04

MissPiggy I will do that in the morning. Hopefully he will clear this all up.

Last week when she was here she brought a trainee GP who said she thought he had eczema on his bum, she and the HV flat out wouldn't listen to me when I said it was just nappy rash. They told me to go to the chemist and get a cream for it, went to the chemist, she agreed it was nappy rash and I got metanium. It cleared up in a day or so. Today the HV asked how it was, I told her it was nappy rash as I had said and that the cream worked she then turned round and told me she never thought it was eczema in the first place so I doubt she will argue with the actual GP. :)

OP posts:

EleanorRathbone · 02/11/2011 22:04

Oh god that's not the best idea then, she's just using the older relative to undermine you.

She's incredibly unprofessional.

I agree, just refuse to have anything to do with her and go to your GP instead. IF the GP tells you to go to your HV, just say that you feel the HV is undermining you so you can't.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:05

Thanks everyone for all the advice btw!

OP posts:

SecretNutellaFix · 02/11/2011 22:07

I think that perhaps you should start drafting out a letter of complaint about this HV to the practise manager.

She sounds like a bit of a bully from what you have said.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:08

Eleanor I think I will do that. I'm sick of her and the way she speaks to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:10

Nutella I really can't. The social worker that the MW referred me to advised me to complain about her because of some horrid things she had said to me still haven't decided if I actually want to go ahead and complain yet and I really don't want to seem like I just complain about everyone, I doubt anyone will take me seriously if I was to do that.

OP posts:

Midori1999 · 02/11/2011 22:11

I'm a bit tired tonight, so maybe I am missing something, but from the weights you have given, your baby has been pretty much following the 25th centile line on the growth chart and hasn't even jumped up one centile line? If so, I am not sure why she is so worried about his weight.

RitaMorgan · 02/11/2011 22:11

I'd definitely go to the GP for a second opinion, maybe see if you can get a referral to a paed or something? Either you just have a particularly hungry baby, or there's some underlying issue, but whichever it is feeding him water and letting him scream can't possibly be the best thing to do.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:17

Midori I don't know how to work out the centiles. :S But she says he has jumped 4? He was 6,1lb when he was born and is now 9,5lb. I didn't think it was a lot but she seems to.

Rita I will definitely see the GP, no way can I sit and let him scream like that. :(

OP posts:

brdgrl · 02/11/2011 22:18

Can you see a GP?
Or is there a health clinic you can drop in at? Where I live, I had the option of taking DD in to the health centre to have her weighed and measured, instead of waiting for the health visitor's next visit.

ivykaty44 · 02/11/2011 22:19

my dd1 was a guzzler, ff and we where in hospital a week and she was drinking 6oz of ff in the first week for each feed. I think by the time she was 5 weeks she was on 9oz and I had probably changed form first formula to the second formula stuff for hungry babies.

dd1 would break out in a sweat drinking her 6pm bottle, I can't remember her taking water!

I did give give her a dummy which she loved, she liked the comfort and it seemed to settle her well.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:23

brdgrl I'm going to go to the GP tomorrow. :)

IvyKaty44 Did her weight even out okay?

OP posts:

lancaster · 02/11/2011 22:26

As a doctor, I am shocked by the way your HV is treating you and the rotten advice she is giving. Babies need not be given any other fluid than milk, be that breast of formula and she is going against guidelines if she advises you otherwise. Also a paediatric consultant who I worked for told me that as long as a baby has at least 3 wet nappies a day they are not dehyfrated. Hope that helps.

Midori1999 · 02/11/2011 22:26

In your red book is he roughly following one of the lines where his weight is plotted?

FWIW, my DS1 was on 9 x 5oz bottles of formula a day at 5 weeks old. One an hour in the day and then slept through, and no-one said a thing about it. Also, my friend's baby, also born at 38 weeks, started on the 25th centile, then went off the charts and yet no-one said anything to her either.

I know those are just anecdotal, but it does sound the health visitor is basically bullying you due to your age/how she perceives you because of that.

crikeybadger · 02/11/2011 22:27

Good suggestion too from CombineArvester to have a look into silent reflux symptoms.

RitaMorgan · 02/11/2011 22:28

So he was born about 2.8kg at 38 weeks - 25th centile(ish)
5 weeks and 4.3kg is about 25th centile again I think

Not sure how that translates as 4 centiles? Maybe the HV was plotting his birthweight as 40 weeks gestation, which makes him 9th centile - but that's still only one centile difference.

PootlePosyPumpkin · 02/11/2011 22:30

What weight was he at birth OP? My HV told me that babies should not need extra water if they are feeding well but that it can help if they are constipated.

9lbs 5oz doesn't sound that huge at 5 weeks TBH. Maybe your HV is just a bit odd.

PootlePosyPumpkin · 02/11/2011 22:33

Sorry, have just seen weights. Can't see the problem myself .

PelvicFlAAAARGHOfSteel · 02/11/2011 22:36

I don't know anything about the actual quantities I'm afraid because I bf but I had a very similar experience with DS1, he was 2 weeks early and just shot up the centiles. HV said I should feed him less often when I was still struggling to find my feet as a first time mum, I remember trying everything to extend time between feeds (dummy, sling, etc) and freaking out because he was still feeding more frequently than every 3 hours, DS1 is now a slim and healthy 3yo. I know it's not always that simple and there have been some really good suggestions on this thread about silent reflux, slower teats and getting referred to someone with more expertise in this area.

Was it you who had the SIL who wanted to take your newborn out for the day? Are you getting much family support now or has telling her that was mental not such a good idea caused problems?

ivykaty44 · 02/11/2011 22:41

at 19 years is around 8 stone and 5f10

don't forget they grew half their height in the first 18 months

TheSecondComing · 02/11/2011 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 02/11/2011 22:52

Lancaster Is it really against guidelines? She made it sound as if you absaloutly have to feed them water. and every time his nappy is changed (about 2-3 hourly) it's soaked so no worries there! Thanks, that's put me at ease a bit!

Rita I am completely hopeless looking at these charts. If you're right I have no idea what she is talking about.

Pelvic Yep, it's me who has the mental SIL. She didn't get him but I did let her take him for a couple of hours a few weeks later.

She's actually been really good. :) Seems to have calmed down a lot since he was born.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4