Please, I desperately need some help

[lookout]

Here is the background

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1321772-Tongue-tie

My last post is today's situation. I just don't know what to do. I am seriously considering giving up, i dread every feed. I just really need someone to tell me what to do.

If it helps, I'm asking myself the very same question, especially when my three year old sees me crying and tells me "it's going to be ok".

For some of us breastfeeding is extra hard but , for what it's worth, I think you're doing great and you clearly have courage and determination.

One day at a time. And, going back to engorgement, fridge cold cabbage leaves in your bra are a godsend, though it makes you smell all funny!

Lookout. I would definitely ask your LC if it's worth seeing a cranial osteopath. I'm taking my DS and it really seems to have made a difference. I hope it starts to get easier soon. When are you seeing the LC next? Can you talk to them over the phone for some advice or reassurance?

lookout - only you know the answer to that one. What I will say is that every day you manage is one day nearer to the day when it doesn't hurt anymore.

I noticed earlier upthread you were talking about waiting to 'enjoy' breastfeeding. I think this is quite an expectation. A lot of mums do enjoy breastfeeding and a lot of mums (myself included) didn't. For me it was just something I had to do for my daughter and the only thing I 'enjoyed' about it was that it was the perfect way to sooth her, get her to sleep and ensure that she didn't succumb to any of the various bugs and germs that were doing the rounds. I definitely didn't 'enjoy' any of the feeds, except for the one where I suddenly realised it wasn't hurting anymore.

metal, thank you for the encouragement. i have the same thing with my 6 yr old, he's had enough of seeing me cry i reckon, he gets so upset.

titania, i called her yesterday and left a message. will try her again later i think. will see her thurs anyway, so if i can keep going til then, hopefully my nipple will have healed enough to get some proper help with latching.

worldgonecrazy, i'm losing hope that one day it won't hurt! in my mind i can only see it getting less painful when i stop. i so want it to work, and the realisation that i might not succeed is for some reason breaking my heart. maybe i won't enjoy it, but the reasons you state, as well as not having the faff of bottles, are enough for me to want to continue.

my left side is now starting to hurt too, there must be something wrong with me that i can't even latch my baby on properly

Sweetie, you poor thing. Sounds horrendous. Can I just help you rule out one possible cause of the pain? Are you still slathering on the Lansinoh? If so, stop for a few days (maybe use Vaseline instead). They claim that Lansinoh is totally hypoallergenic but it's NOT TRUE. I was in agony at every feed for weeks, having to take paracetamol and ibuprofen all the time, trying every bit of latching advice I could find - but it was only when I stopped using Lansinoh that my nipples suddenly healed and we got to pain-free feeding. I'm still happily BFing at 16 months.

Might be worth a try?

Hope you get sorted anyway.

woodlands, i am still using it, yes. i might try kamillosan instead for a bit, see if it helps. if i can only get to the shops to get it! thank you.

Kamillosan has lanolin in it as well, so if that is causing problems it probably won't help. I've heard people recommending jellonet?

ok, what is it i am exactly using lansinoh for? is it just to create a barrier tohelp the skin heal? if so i guess vasoline will do, no?

Lookout - there is nothing wrong with you at all, please don't think that. The problems you are having are not your fault and you are trying everything to overcome them.

I've also read that jellonet dressings can help with nipple healing - as can letting the nipples air dry.

Have everything crossed that it gets better soon - however you decide to carry on feeding.

thanks titania. i get so down about it, and when you're in the thick of it, it's so hard to see the other side. i have had three good feeds on the good side today, which has really encouraged me. bad side looks awful still though, it has a nasty red crevice right the way across it. may take some time to heal i think. i am gonna try this jelonet stuff, maybe i'm allergic to lanolin?

metal, has the sleeping got any better? no change here yet!!

Dear lookout

I just wanted to say that I think you are AMAZING. It is SO hard to push on through breastfeeding when it is toe curlingly painful.

Your babe is obviously very lucky indeed to have such a wonderful mum who cares so much.

Just WELL DONE YOU I whole heartedly agree with the wine idea!

Am so pleased things seem to be improving and here's to them just getting better and better.

Gx

Good to hear you had three good feeds lookout, that's very positive news! We're in a tricky stage as she now fusses a lot on the breast and prefers the bottle which I can't avoid since the doctor wants her to get topups with every feed. She had lost weight again...

I'm ok now, but for a big part of the day I'm a mess. Very hard to believe its ever going to be ok, getting a double pump tomorrow as my milk evidently wasn't enough and now is further affected by the topups. But she is putting on weight I think, her little cheeks are definitely rounder

Sleep is exactly as before, she sleeps on my chest... And DH is ill so can't help with night feeds. Aaarrghhh!

oh metal, it is hard work, i know. and i know exactly what you mean about being a mess. i am too! i go from on a high after a good feed to waaaaay down low after a bad one. we need to stop being so hard on ourselves.

a friend in rl told me today, it really doesn't matter in the long run how they are fed as infants, it's only one tiny part of being a parent, and prob not the most important one. you do what you have to do and don't feel guilty.

i have found baby will co-sleep, on his side, in the crook of my arm. not great sleep for me as i'm nervous about co-sleeping, but at least i doze. i guess it's the proximity he likes. have you tried it?

goldilocks, what a lovely post. thank you for posting such kind words. so so encouraging, thank you!

i can feel supply dwindling. i don't know if i'm doing this all wrong or what. i've been doing breast then bottle but he wouldn't settle, so have swapped and do bottle first, then nappy then breast (bad side not healed yet so still not feeding only expressing from it) and that way he settles to sleep. but breasts never seem full now, he's still feeding every 1.5-2.5 hours, i don't know what's normal and what is down to how i'm having to feed. i really need some help.

Hi lookout - if you mean your breasts are not feeling rock hard or swollen anymore, be assured that is perfectly normal. A lot of mums panic when this happens, thinking it means they are not producing milk, when the truth is that it just means the body has stopped over-production.

It's a sad truth that in many countries we have forgotten how to breastfeed and think that women should somehow be able to do it without the right support in place. What support we do have is woefully inadequate, underfunded and understaffed.

Has a bf counsellor been out to visit you?

not to visit no. i've been to several drop-ins but a home visit would suit me better i think. i'm going to see the lc that re-did ds's tongue last saturday at her drop in tomorrow, but it's not the same when there are loads of other people around, i can't relax. i really need some help with latching on that side though, cos i've haven't been able to get it right from the start.

as for the milk production, thanks for the reassurance. i'm terrified of losing supply while waiting for this nipple to heal.

does it sound ok to you, what i'm doing? when i spoke to her about expressing last week, i could tell she disapproved of the expressing and bottle route, but i simply can't feed with that level of pain.

I know expressing doesn't suit many people and can put milk supply at risk. It's a bit of a dark art in itself. I used to have to express several times a day once I went back to work plus breastfeeding on demand, I felt a bit like a milk machine but I did get through it. I expressed at 2.00 a.m., 6.00 a.m., 9.00 a.m., 1.00 p.m., 4.00 p.m. and 9.00 p.m., plus feeds morning and evening. I did find it was better to do 10 minutes per booby a couple of hours apart rather than 30 minutes per booby with a longer interval between.

Hopefully your nipple will start healing and the pain will lessen. You're already a week nearer the magic moment than when you first posted.

yep, i express a 3am, 9am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm and 8pm, with feeds in between each. it's hard wotk, but not forever. i hope!

i am just so grateful for the support here.

Lookout - so sorry that things are still so hard. The LC you saw is she IBLC? I'm a first time mum who is still struggling herself and so by no means an expert but it sounds odd that the LC was disapproving of you expressing and giving a bottle. I would have thought that their role wasn't to approve or disapprove but to support. If the only way you can give your baby breast milk and protect your supply is to express and top up then surely she should support that. Is it the bottle she had the issue with (nipple confusion)? Did she offer any other feeding alternative?

I've mentioned it before but I really would give Milk Matters a bell (google will find their contact details). They give free advice over the phone ( I have no affiliation with them btw, but they have helped me).

I too think you're amazing even if you feel like a wibbly mess. (un-mumsnet hugs to you).

she said it would be better if i could feed him myself but that as a last resort she 'supposed' it was doable. not ideal though. yes she is ilbc, but one of the breast under all circumstances kind. thanks for reminding me about milk matters. i also have an nct bf counsellor who's been helping me. might give her a ring tomorrow. can hardly express a thing this evening

Lookout, I do really feel for you. I have never had much luck expressing so no tips to help with that.

How is the nipple pain today?

I can't be much help, I'm afraid, but did want to let you know that I really hope it all gets better soon!

Hello lookout, how are you today?

On the matter if milk supply, I was worried about it myself as DD was takin formula topups and would cry on the breast. I know you're not meant I have full and leaking breasts, but mine felt positively empty and my baby seemed distressed on them.

So yesterday I did two things differently: I used my new double pump 3 times and also started taking fenugreek tablets. And a few hours later, there was a palpable difference, DD fed for ages and now, 3 feeds later I'm still not feeling completely depleted. A lady from the breastfeeding network suggested the tablets and if you go on their website, on the page on drugs/supplements it states the dose and facts. Got the tablets from a health shop, the pharmacies we tried didn't stock them.

I know it early days, maybe tomorrow I'll be back on square one, but why not give them a go? They have no side effects apart from your milk and sweat smelling maple stripe like.

Blimey, apologies for the extreme typos, my spelling and syntax just don't agree with writing on the iPhone

Haha "maple stripe" was meant to be "maple syrup"...

thanks titania. damaged nipple actually not feeling too bad today, and is rock solid from not having had time to express since 3am. i'm hoping to feed on the bad side at clinic today so as to get some help with latch on that side.

metal, the one side he's feeding off only ever seems full in the mornings, but he fed off that side until 3am, with two expressed top ups of 60ml each between 10pm an 3am, and he seemed fine. enough to let him sleep for 2.5 hours on dh's chest, anyway! i love the idea of maple stripes, and also maple syrup tasting milk! will look into it.