FFS this woman fancies herself as Jeremy Clarkson

[HarrietJones]

here

I'm one of those self-conscious who wonders if other people think I'm showing off by feeding my ds in public :( It does bother me to hear words like 'grandstanding'.

Luckily though, most people on this site and especially this section are very supportive. I try to think of them when my son wants a feed.

Ooh, I would breastfeed at a dinner party. Why not?

PMSL @ this thread.

tiktok, love ya.

Surely, SURELY a troll?

SURELY no one could ACTUALLY be writing this stuff for real? Not on MN? I mean, REALLY?

Really made me smile tonight. Until I read snickeringfox's post, then I just got annoyed at the frankly stupid comments NNW has been making, and how ignorance like that undermines people's confidence. :(

snicker - of course you're not showing off. You're feeding your child. Good on you. xxx

But really, NNW, yes of course I would feed at a dinner party. After all, anyone who invites me to one knows I have a BFing baby for a start. And I would hate to be on my own all the time, feeding privately. But I would support anyone's choice to feed privately as strongly as I support those who want to feed in public. A baby is more important than the very rare, odd person who may feel uncomfortable with it.

As a first time mother and a first time bfeeder around noone who bfeeds your comments of how u bf in private and implications that everyone should bfeed in private as you linked it to changing a nappy (which implies that its dirty) and bfeeders show off would make me self conscious, that is if I hadn't got over the fact that my baby's needs come before other people in a restaurants and is she's crying cos she's hungry I'd much rather just wang my boob out than scurry around looking for somewhere private. And no it's not because I like to show off which you imply, although I am a proud bfeeding mother, I just believe that my baby is the most important person in the world, and screw (apologies if you find the offensive) anyone who thinks differently or doesn't want to see it.

Crack on with being ashamed of bfeeding and hiding it but don't make out that I should too. And yes I would feed at a dinner party, i'd buy a bfeeding dress and get on with it!

"Crack on with being ashamed of bfeeding and hiding it but don't make out that I should too"

thank you, well put.

Ditto, humpty

There are some really worrying comments in the article re breastfeeding workshops and how they're not needed because breastfeeding is supposed to be natural. You hear stories of how people who are unable to bf feel like failures, an attitude such as the one shown by the author is just going to enforce this perception and could well put people off even trying. There are no positives in the article and imo the author comes across as pig ignorant.

That's a good point, Penny - sniggering at the idea of a breastfeeding class or a workshop is a further way to undermine people who have found bf difficult. You're right - women do feel distressed if they're struggling and think it is somehow their fault for being unable to do this 'natural' thing.

NNW, I notice you didn't answer my questions to you about what it is that should be hidden.

So here's another. I am one half of a mixed race marriage. Sadly, a small minority of this country who voted BNP are made uncomfortable by mixed race marriages. Should I
a. Be sensitive to their embarrassment/ discomfort/disgust witnessing my relationship and do them the courtesy of removing myself from their presence to be polite to them?

Or b. Consider them to be backwards bigots and an affront to decent, rational, considerate human beings, and thus go about my business knowing that their embarrassment is their own issue for them to address.

There is as much shame in my breastfeeding as there is in my marriage. None.
I treat both issues the same.

Bravo, verylittlecarrot.

Here here, verylittlecarrot

As a breastfeeding mum, I am ashamed to admit that yes, in the past, I have locked myself in the disabled loo to breastfeed my daughter or felt obliged to be banished to the car. It's because of attitudes of people like you NNW that I occasionally fed my small baby in draughty, unhygenic and unsuitable places. As a bf mum shame on you NNW for your 'grandstanding comment' and yes, shame on me too for doing what I did.

These days, although it doesn't come particularly easily to me, I make an effort to breastfeed my baby when she needs it and not to crawl under a rock to do so.

I do this with the next generation of breastfeeding mothers in mind. If this makes me a grandstander, then I'm proud to stand up and be counted.

Well said yesmynameis and littlecarrot!!

NNW you still haven't answered the question of WHY you feel so strongly that you are prepared to go feed your baby on a toilet?!

Is it because you worry that other people might think like you? Would you expect a bottle fed baby to also be fed on the toilet??

Personally I find your attitude to be appalling. I couldn't actually give a toss if I offend or embarrass people like you, if my baby is hungry I will feed him. If people think I am 'grandstanding' (seriously? ) that's their problem.

Why don't you start a thread in AIBU stating that view? Seriously.

Thanks, but don't applaud too soon. Because the sad fact is that despite everything I believe, I STILL occasionally choose the car to feed in rather than the more convenient public place. Because I know some people are going to judge me negatively and some may actually go out of their way to make me feel bad. And I don't always feel resilient enough to brush it off.

So I'm rather ashamed that, on occasion, I let nasty external pressure from rotten attitudes 'win'. And I wish I didn't.

X-posted with Yes then. Good for you Yes. Shame on NNW and people like her for making you feel bad about something as normal as feeding your baby.

I googled dragon butter - educational. Not as bad as lemon party.
I hope I can bf without trauma when little bump comes out, it's never bothered me to have people round me doing it, public or at home. I think any shyness I might have left will be eradicated by having my fanny exposed to anybody with a hospital id during birth.

Verylittlecarrot, that's an interesting perspective. I am also in a mixed race relationship and my attitude to anyone who didn't want to see me and dh together would be one of zero tolerance. I would go out of my way to make them squirm!

Why did I google lemon party? Why why?
Author of article is most definitely a knob, mocking breastfeeding support is just appalling. If bf was the norm, and the skills and support were passed from generation to generation like they used to be, maybe they wouldn't be needed. But sadly, idiots like the author do nothing to normalize bf, and support is needed. I know I would never have successfully bf my DS had it not been for a wonderful counsellor and a fab baby cafe.

NNW I respect your right to feed wherever and however you choose. Suggest you adopt the same stance and avoid use of words like grandstanding. You make it sound like people who bf wherever they happen to be are exhibitionists. When in fact they are just minding their own business and getting on with their lives.

OK I realise that I am in a minority of one that I just don't feel very comfortable when I have to breastfeed in public view of people I don't know. Maybe my nickname says it all - Nor'nor'west as in shakespeare's Hamlet. So maybe I am mad!! My friend who pointed me in the direction of this article and who had herself given up breastfeeding, gave up because she also felt uncomfortable. In fact, she felt she had been pressured into doing it by health professionals, because she is a professional woman who is "supposed to do what's best for her baby". She and I both agreed with what Myleene Klass said. But I am continuing to breastfeed. But I never said I breastfeed on a toilet! Maybe we northerners in Manchester are a bit more reticent than people elsewhere...

OK, north, at the risk of repeating myself again, no one has a problem with your choice to bf in private.

I don't understand your friend objecting to healthcare professionals encouraging her to breastfeed - would that not be part of their job?

Can I ask you if you have now changed your mind about 'grandstanding' ie that people who breastfeed where others might see them are not doing anything other than feeding/comforting...there is no 'proving a point' or showing off involved there. And you no longer think it is weird/shocking to breastfeed in a restaurant or at a dinner party?

Oh and if you go to a 'powder room' to bf, then you are not bf 'on' a toilet but you are deffo doing it 'in' a toilet :)

I think we are going in circles here...

You want to feed in private, fine.

I/most of us on here don't feel the need to feed in private, fine.

It should just end there shouldn't it? Without your need to make anyone who does choose to feed in public awkward about it. Unfortunatley it is attitudes like yours that contribute to those women (like your friend maybe) giving up because they feel uncomfortable about it... you can see that can't you?

For the record I live in Lancashire, just in case there is any regional reason I should be so pro-public-bfing.

Actually, Tiktok, I might have begun to agree (although by the way, my friend who is highly intelligent was seriously lectured in a most patronising - and really unhelpful - way about breastfeeding). But then I looked on the forum on mumsnet about a cafe in London not allowing breastfeeding and all the irate women planning to go and breastfeed there just to prove a point... Hmmm

I am puzzled at the way you cannot separate two very different things, north.

i) the everyday, routine, way a mother responds to her baby's needs for food and comfort, wherever she happens to be at the time - something you clearly disapprove of still

ii) the highly extraordinary and very rare event whereby bf mothers may decide to confront rudeness and unlawful discrimination and to show solidarity, by deliberately deciding to bf somewhere 'public'....and you disapprove of that, too!

These are two very different scenarios.