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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Tandem feeding - am I crazy?

13 replies

SoBroken · 17/06/2011 09:54

My DS will be 3.1 when his little brother arrives, and I have bf throughout the pregnancy with no problems at all, not even nipple soreness (am currently 29 weeks). Everyone told me I was a bit crazy to attempt this, that it would be awful and I'd be exhausted. I don't feel great, but still better than when I was pregnant with him!

Up until a few months ago, he was bf to sleep, and then suddenly, without any pushing from me, he started falling asleep on his own, and being happy to be soothed to sleep by his dad or with cuddles when he woke up.

He is still bf in the mornings and before his afternoon nap, and I don't think my milk has turned to colostrum yet. But everyone says I should be using this time to wean him instead of carrying on as it will be impossible once baby arrives.

I don't want to wean him, I want him to stop when he is ready. Will I really regret it?

I just want to hear it from the horse's mouth, so other tandem feeders, how bad is it when the baby comes????

OP posts:

PuzzleRocks · 17/06/2011 09:56

I did it for 6 months with no issues. As long as he is prepared to wait while the baby is feeding. I never could have managed one on either side. Too claustrophobic.

Original poster

SoBroken · 17/06/2011 10:00

Haha, yes, I know what you mean about one on each side, DS is big for a nearly-3-yr-old and he's a bit of a brute when he's cross or frustrated. Have been reading lots of books about new babies and telling him that his brother has to have the first turn.

He seems fine with the idea now, though the reality will no doubt be very different!

OP posts:

AngelDog · 17/06/2011 10:00

Have you read Adventure in Tandem Nursing?

mawbroon · 17/06/2011 10:04

It is tough being constantly needed by two of them - I don't think it would be fair to paint it as a bed of roses.

BUT, I can only imagine that weaning a reluctant child and trying to fend off their requests for milk when the baby arrives would be absolutely bloody awful and a damned sight harder than just continuing with your older child.

And it means when you are knackered, you can cuddle them both in to feed and shut your eyes for a while. It is likely that your ds will want to nurse way more after the baby is born.

DS1 was 4.4yo when ds2 was born and they still tandem 15months on. I don't like feeding them together, but when they are both wailing there is no need to choose which one to deal with first!! And ds1 was brilliant at relieving engorgement. His favourite job was helping the baby by just taking enough off to soften the breast for the baby to latch on. I think it made him feel really responsible

Go for it, if you think it will work for you.

snailoon · 17/06/2011 10:05

I did this. It was no big deal, and actually tailed off before baby was born, then a few attempts later, but more as a joke.
If he seems ready to stop, don't cling to it for your own sake.

Original poster

SoBroken · 17/06/2011 10:47

He doesn't seem ready to stop at all, though I would say his need for it is tailing off. I would just rather he did it at his own pace than I was pushing him to make way for the new baby, I think that would cause problems with jealousy etc. If it increases after baby is here then so be it. Having a cuddle with both my boys when I'm tired seems lovely!

I think I've been very lucky with my breastfeeding, everything that I was expecting to be hard has actually been pretty easy and natural! Fingers crossed tandem feeding will be the same.

OP posts:

TheRealMBJ · 17/06/2011 11:01

Hi SoBroken. I'm in a similar position to you, 22 weeks pregnant and still bf, but DS is much younger- only 18 months.

We have a thread here if you'd like to have a look. Adventures comes highly recommended from all the other tandemers as well as support from MN.

I'm sort of ambivalent about tendering at the moment. Some days it seems like such and excellent idea, and I don't think I'm quite ready to say goodbye to our nursing relationship, but on others I wonder how I will cope and more importantly how DS will cope with having to share his na-na's.

PuzzleRocks · 17/06/2011 11:17

Yes you may find it increases initially. I was conscious of not doing anything that would make DD1 feel pushed out. I think once she realised this it tailed off again. And after only a week or so. And we have never had any jealousy issues with either of them. They are 4 and 2 now and just lovely together.

Best of luck.

TruthSweet · 17/06/2011 17:17

SoBroken - I've been tandem nursing since Nov 2007 (with one month off for good behaviour when DD1 weaned the month before DD3 was born ).

I fed DD1 & DD2 together for about 2 months but like a pp found it too much and fed them separately until DD1 weaned (DD1 was 1.8y when DD2 was born and 3.6y when she weaned). It was a lovely bonding thing for them but I just wanted to crawl out of my skin and run away when they did it so we stopped.

I have never fed DD2 & DD3 together and they are pretty close now at 3.7y & 1.8y despite them never tandem feeding. Also, as your DS is that bit older, he hopefully will understand about taking turns with the baby, you can play up all the things he gets to eat that the baby can't if he seems put out the baby gets to nurse all the time.

DD1 fed lots and lots when DD2 was born but DD2 wasn't as fussed when DD3 was so it doesn't always follow that the older dc will ramp up the nursing when the baby is born, they might but it's not a given. Thankfully!

Gilberte · 17/06/2011 20:41

I tandem feed a 5mth old and a 3yr old. Its interesting that most people don't like feeding both at the same time but I prefer it to feeding my toddler on her own as I've really had it with the incessant twiddling she does.
I do like feeding the baby on her own though.

I haven't regretted it as we had a bit of sibling rivalry manifesting itself in difficult behaviours at the begining. If I hadn't been able to keep offering the breast I think problems would have been much greater.

I did night wean DD1 in pregnancy as I only wanted to be feeding one in the night though.

EauRouge · 17/06/2011 21:00

I'm tandem feeding my DDs, eldest is 2.8 yo and feeds a lot still, she doesn't really eat much solid food. Youngest is 3 mo. I was knackered a bit for the first few weeks but things are going really well now. A lot of people have said that they think I'm nuts but you should see the amount of chocolate I can put away and not put on any weight

Defo think tandem feeding has helped with any jealousy issues. It's so cute when they are both feeding and DD1 holds DD2's hand.

TruthSweet · 17/06/2011 22:18

Eau - I loved that with DD1 & DD2 when DD1 used to stroke DD2. Ah fond memories Just wish I could have done it with DD2 & DD3 too but figured making DD2 wait was better than weaning her because I couldn't cope with it.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 18/06/2011 07:03

i'm pg with dc2 and bf ds 16m. So no experience yet but preparing to potentially tandem.

Would def recommend adventures. One tip I'm already finding usefull is pretending to bf ds's toys so he can start to think about sharing. He thinks this is hillarious and regularly brings me things to nurse. So now i have a bf relationship with loads of stuffed animals, not to mention the remote control, a pair of kitchen tongs and a selection of pegs.

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