Mumsnet Talk

If not would anyone like to join me?

Experienced and first time feeding while pregnant mums welcome. I'm almost 11 weeks with DC2 and am still feeding DS (15 months). We are currently working at night weaning him (although he is incredibly persistent) and he still feeds 3/4/5 time per day, although he is starting to eat more solids.

I don't know anyone in RL who has fed whilst pregnant or tandemed and it would be great to be able to share frustrations etc with others.

So please come and join me, or point me in the direction of the right thread

Hello! Congrats on your pregnancy. I did a thread when I was pregnant but it was a few weeks ago now. DD1 is 2.6 and DD2 is 5 wo and I'm tandem feeding them. Things are going well but I am constantly starving. I only know of one person at the LLL group I go to that is pregnant and BF so it's brilliant to talk to other tandem feeders on here, there are a few that are a lot more experienced than me.

If you haven't already been recommended this book then it's definitely worth a read. Your MW might want a read as well my MW was encouraging but not very knowledgeable about BF while pregnant.

I'll join or follow given directions

I am 12 weeks and DD is 13months.

She has at least 3 feeds a day atm, but all during the night or early morning as I work FT and she's in bed before I get in.

Have started to notice supply dropping now

I'm about half way through the book

Hi EauRouge I chatted to you on here when I had just found out I was pregnant and just before DD2 was born. I really do need to get 'Adventures' but I keep buying other things and am still busyreding 'What Mothers Do' (which is brilliant ) my MW will probably not say anything as I exude an air of 'don't mess with me' and am trained as a doctor, although not practising.

I suppose I just want to be able to chat to people who understand the concerns, fears and emotions of all of this

Repeats mantra 'Must buy Adventures', 'Must buy Adventures'

Hi Penguin

I'm a doctor too (apparently) but PhD so doesn't count

I have found the book useful. There is a lot of good info even if you don't tandem. It helped open my eyes to the possibility that actually it might not happen, which sounds pessimistic, but like BF I guess you need to know of potential problems etc. It is cheaper in the states though, about 8pounds.

I've been lucky so far and not had breast tenderness, you had any problems so far. I wonder if DD feeding has helped that in with DD pg I was convinced everyone knew I was pregnant in the first 12 weeks due to my breasts.

I don't want DD to have dairy, so my biggest concern is about whether there is the need for supplementing or not.

I feel left out now, I'm not a doctor

The main problem I've had with tandem feeding is getting DD1 to sit still and not squash DD2. So trying to get your toddler into the habit of sitting still while BF is a good idea!

<hands EauRogue honorary Doctorate for services to tandem BF>

Did have quite sore nipples in the first few weeks (but it had a lot to do^ with incessant night feeding and poor latch while semi-asleep). Now that he is ^sort of weaned at night, things are rather better.

I'm mostly quite relaxed about it but I do have periods of intense worry, worry that he will be jealous, that I won't be able to cope etc....

That would happen even if we weren't planning to tandem. I do have a little panic every so often, but at the moment am largely able to just not think about it.

Am job hunting at the moment so we have no idea where we'll be or if we will move countries. Also don't know who will work as DH is currently a SAHD. Not sure I can go back to single handedly looking after DD let alone two of them. Are you on the oct bus? I haven't learnt peoples names there yet.

Hello,

Can i join? I'm 14ish weeks pg and am bf a 14ish mo ds. I'm not a doctor though...

Have ordered adventures...thanks eaurouge

I co sleep with ds. He had just started sleeping through when he started crawling...then he stopped. hey ho. Now he is walking if has just recently done it again for two nights...till we all got cold...and today he's just had jabs...But i'm hoping that once we get past all this he'll sleep through and i'll be able to avoid night weaning... <crosses fingers and employs "hopeless optimist" mode>

My nipples are not friends with his teeth at the moment.

Penguinearmy that sounds stressfull for you.

Congratulations!

I bfed throughout pregnancy, have to say I found the latch pretty toe-curling throughout, think that is unusual though. Tandemed for 10 months, only simultaneously about 3 or 4 times, again I found the sensation too much.

You are right Penguin. These would be worries anyway but...

I did try to join the October bus but it was just too fast moving for me (hardly ever get to use the laptop so all my MNing done on my phone - which is cumbersome, to say the least)

Hi MoonFace, welcome. We were/are co-sleeping too although DH has started doing most of the sleeping with DS in order for us to wean him. I just cannot say no to his requests for feeding, especially at night. AND he won't settle for me until I've taken my boob out anyway. Before this pregnancy it really didn't bother me that he lay next to me snacking all night, but since 5 weeks it has been driving me crazy!

Hi Len. <waves>

Thanks for joining us. I feel like I know you , but that's Twitter's fault.
(It was you who suggested that I ask on here for support.

It's great to speak to other's about things, especially when it is so rare in RL.

Hello!

Can't remember what we did about co-sleeping or night-weaning, did eventually persuade DS1 not to bother feeding overnight. DS1 then ended up with DP a fair bit when DS2 arrived in another room because DS2 makes a lot of noise at night.

TBH it's all musical beds, suits us, everyone gets enough sleep one way or another.

DD1 was night-weaned right before I got pregnant. I did the old 'booby's asleep' trick and it worked really well, right up until DD2 was born and DD1 saw me feeding her all night. I can't fob her off now, she can see that booby is awake and functioning even when it's dark outside So much for my clever plan!

So we've had a night from hell. DS woke at 00H45ish and wouldn't go back to sleep. DH rocked and sang and lay with him for an hour hut he just screamed and screamed for boob. I eventually caved in at 01H15 and thereafter he would not let go of my boobs. Very, very restless sleep too.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing DC2 a disservice because I give in try to meet DS's needs so wholly?

Anyway... 11weeks today apparently baby's irises are starting to form.

You'll be able to juggle, I still feed DD1 on demand (and she is very demanding!), it all slots into place somehow... Sometimes I feel bad about DD2 not getting as much attention but all she really needs at the moment is food and cuddles and she seems perfectly happy to be in the sling.

I tried twice to night-wean DD, once at 15 months and I don't think she was ready so I left it another couple of months and at around 18 or 19 months it went really well, it only took a couple of nights for her to ask for a cuddle instead of booby. Don't beat yourself up, just try again another time.

Are you trying to night-wean? I really think the only way to do this is not to be there. Can you go away overnight?

I caved so many times, it really was v important to DS1 (realise now why) in the end I just gave up. As he got older we negotiated more so it was all tolerable/ manageable.

My priority always was fastest route to everyone going back to sleep.

YY. We are trying to night wean. We started off with be staying away for 2 nights and they were quite hellish for DH but DS has started sleeping for longer periods (and on Sunday he woke briefly at 02H30 and then went back to sleep until 6am, I fed him and he went back to sleep until 07H30 - it was bliss!) but he still wants me boob at night

we're just trying to lengthen times between feeds. Have got her to feed at about 8pm, 1am and then trying for 5am. (She doesn't have a feed when I put her to bed). I guess the ideal is to feed her when I got to bed, then through to morning. She still wakes at least once between feeds so think we'll try and let that stabilise before pushing forward.

Hope you all have a good night with as few feeds as you desire.

I've decided not to try night wean ds...i'm hoping we'll reach a happy compromise when the time comes... Ds woke once for a feed last night, then crawled off to his cot bit of the bed and stayed there for the rest of the night. A repeat of that tonight would suit me just fine.

That's lucky MoonFace. Our problem is that DS wants to sleep next to me and have my boob in his mouth all night as a dummy, so we are sort of being forced (as I can't stand it any more) to wean him off sleeping next to me AND off night feeds at the same time. It's not really ideal but we can't seem to get on any other way.

So DH is now tending to share the mattress in the spare room with him from first wake up and resettling him if he has subsequent wakings, until such a time as he just won't take no for an answer any more (usually between 3-5am) and then he comes to me for a feed and (hopefully) some more sleep.

oh dear Mbj...that really does not sound comfy. I hope you ds gets the idea soon!

Please could one of you come and give me a pep talk? Wears NOT winning and DH is even starting to suggest CIO (although not seriously asDS only gets more and more wound up when crying). Obviously my mum and MIL both have shrugged their shoulders and given me the look (somewhere mixed between pity and reproach) and insinuated that it is of course my own fault and that I 'have made a rod for my own back'.

Thing is... I don't want to fully wean him, I don't believe in letting in cry and I would much prefer it if he were still sleeping next to me but I can't stand the feeling of him feeding at night. It makes my blood boil and my toes curl and at that point in time I want to do almost anything to make him stop.

I feel full of despair and very alone at the moment

That sounds so hard MBJ Are you happy to feed once or twice and get DH to deal with him the rest of the time? I know there may be lots of crying involved, but you could give it 5 days and then reassess. Tell DH he is find a way to comfort not CIO

You can wean for a while and then assume he will feed again in the future when it gets more comfortable.

It sounds like you're doing what we would do/have done. Just give a few more nights before declaring it's not working. Then you will know for sure.