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Infant feeding

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Original poster

unhelpful information on breastfeeding on mums.net

127 replies

verastones · 15/11/2005 01:31

website displaying negative experience of breastfeeding www.mums.net

Really poor article on 3 quite negative breastfeeding experiences, personally I think it would frighten anyone from having a baby never mind breastfeeding

If you agree with me that it not a balanced article and does not reflect most peoples experience of breastfeeding, please complain to them

I have emailed to complain

www.mums.net/index.php?document=20&article=6

please note it is mums.net not mumsnet

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 06:56

It's a bit of a rubbish site, isn't it.

This says it's one woman's experience with BF - it would be good if they had other women's experiences on there, too.

Tatties · 15/11/2005 09:13

Weird.

moondog · 15/11/2005 09:14

Please see my threads ladies.

Original poster
verastones · 15/11/2005 11:40

they have said they will publish others, I could write one but I dont think its the right place for the information

I'm going to send something though because I dont want anyone to read it and think everyone has those pretty awful experiences

I know she is being honest and thats good but the site has published it out of context

OP posts:
Original poster
verastones · 15/11/2005 11:46

not sure how to search for your threads moondog?

can you help me out?

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 12:24

Don't see what's so wrong with it myself. It is one mum's experiences of the good and bad sides of breastfeeding.

TBH and quite frank here, I believe that if you just push the good aspects of breastfeeding you do just as much harm. When I had dd I had the midwives at the hospital forcing the issue of b/f, one actually said that before bottles were invented I would have to breastfeed or my baby would die - she was the b/f counsellor! I did want to b/f but a bit of encouragement and not laying down the law would have been nice! I struggled with the let-down reflex flooding everything like the lady on the site, it as also very painful. All the books I'd read on breastfeeding told me that it was the most natural thing in the world, that it shouldn't be painful unless you were doing it wrong, etc. They didn't tell you how to deal with a heavy let-down which would choke your baby and squirt anyone standing within about 10 metres (this made it impossible for me to feed in public at first); And because it was so painful I had every midwife and NCT b/f counsellor examining my nipples, looking at how she latched on etc, I was convinced I was doing something wrong as the books said it should not be painful! Finally I realised, after talking to other women, that sometimes it just is painful!

You have to tell the bad with the good on this so that women can deal with it. If I was struggling I would take a lot of comfort from that story, as very often the blurb on b/f makes out that it's as easy as pie and no-one has any problems with it.

3GirlsMum · 15/11/2005 13:05

Vera I am quite annoyed now to see that you seem to be spamming this. Rhubarb not sure why you put the response you did on my site when you have answered it on here????

Toni

Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 13:09

Because I felt equally annoyed when I saw verastones thread and felt that I had to reply. Don't want people to think that Mumsnet is just one-sided!

3GirlsMum · 15/11/2005 13:11

Its not mumsnet she saw it on, its actually a different site www.mums.net and its a shop primarily. She also came on to mumszone and said the same. Incidentally I am of the same mind as you, there are two sides to this and I think hiding the truth doesnt help anyone.

Toni

QueenVictoria · 15/11/2005 13:13

Astonished you were told that Rhubarb.

Although she probably didnt realise with a smart arse comment like that, in "those days" which she refers to if you couldnt b/f you could have a wet nurse do it for you.

Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 13:15

I just think that breastfeeding is hard. Those who sail through it without problems are very lucky, but those of us who do have problems have just as much right to air our experiences as those who don't. Reading about problems with b/f will not make you think about not trying or even giving up, but having problems with b/f and not being able to find out any info on those problems, or feeling isolated with them, will make you give up.

Socci · 15/11/2005 13:19

Message withdrawn

mandymac · 15/11/2005 13:26

I'm glad I was told it could be difficult and painful before I tried. But I agree a balanced view is best. The first week was so difficult and If I hadn't been expecting a few difficulites, I could very easily have given up. As it was, I called my mw emergency line in the middle of the night for support and advice a few times and eventually it got easier. I've been bf exclusively for nearly 5 months now .

Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 13:27

I doubt that very much. All the info you pick up these days tells you how wonderful breastfeeding is. The reason b/f is not very popular is because these days women want a life as well as having babies. They want to go clubbing still, be able to eat and drink what they like, have a good night's sleep with their partner feeding the baby, leaving it with a babysitter, going back to work etc. In short, they want their independance and for this reason bottles are more convenient.

Actually the stats show that most mothers begin to breastfeed but they stop before 6 weeks. Perhaps if the problems of breastfeeding were highlighted and dealt with, they would realise that every problem has a solution and that they are not alone in experiencing this.

What good can come from hiding the truth?

Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 13:27

Sorry Mandymac, posted that before I saw yours.

Socci · 15/11/2005 13:35

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 15/11/2005 13:38

THats fair enough in principle but i wouldnt expect anyone to persevere through a severe bout of mastitis and thrush either. There is painful and there is p-a-i-n-f-u-l. (I did b/f my DD without much hitch although was more painful than anyone let on. I am still b/f my DS but i spent an agonising 8 weeks with thrush and mastitis and ringing up th BFN crying every half hour before he was due a feed again because i just didnt know what to do. It wouldnt have been terrible for me to switch to bottles at that point i dont think).

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 13:42

QV, I've not gone through thrush, but I have had semi-mastitis (very badly blocked duct, some fever), and I would say it was maybe a bit more painful than my let-down pain, in the early months.

Every time I would feed, I would have horrible horrible shooting pains in both nipples. It only lasted about ten seconds, but it wasn't fun. I had to work hard not to teach DS1 exciting new four-letter words, every time. (It was worse with DS2 than DS1, but at least with DS2 I didn't letdown randomly while not bf. I barely leaked at all, ever, actually.)

It's worth being aware that sometimes bf can just hurt. I did get latch etc checked, but as I'd had letdown pain the first time around, I was pretty sure I knew was it was. Knowing it wasn't actually a problem made it easier to cope with. (And luckily, I'm pretty good with pain.)

QueenVictoria · 15/11/2005 13:47

Indeed. In fact the let down pain is a kind of good pain IYSWIM.

With thrush you get a severe burning pain that can last up to an hour after you stop feeding. Its not normal.

Pruni · 15/11/2005 13:47

Message withdrawn

Socci · 15/11/2005 13:51

Message withdrawn

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2005 13:51

I quite like the view that bf often is hard for the first 6 weeks. If you stick it out past 6 weeks, it generally improves. And (in my opinion) once settled, bf is less work than bottle.

I had a hard time for the first weeks with DS1, but DS2 was easy (other than letdown pain). But if mums are prepared for some trouble, then they won't feel unnatural or a failure if they have a bit of trouble.

(Isn't this a bit like taking about labour pain? You don't want to put women off labour, but you also don't want them to expect it to be comfortable ... surely the middle ground is the way)

Rhubarb · 15/11/2005 13:53

I had mastitis too, and bleeding nipples, my milk gushed out at first choking both of them so that when they came off spluttering, my nipple would squirt everywhere - someone tell me how you can feed in public with this happening? The let-down was very painful for me, the mastitis was more painful and I was very ill with it. Plus whenever I did venture out, after expressing for them, my boobs would still leak!

However for me it was easier than getting a bottle in the middle of the night, it made me happy knowing that it was best for my baby, it was cheaper than bottles and the whole sterilising palava. I b/f my second a whole lot better armed with more information and ways of coping. My bad experiences didn't put me off.

You simply cannot pretend that breastfeeding is a picnic! I agree to banging on about the benefits for the baby (and mother), but don't make out like it's going to be wonderful. We need more information about how to prevent mastitis, how to cope with cracked and bleeding nipples, etc, not a censorship of anything bad at all related to breastfeeding!

QueenVictoria · 15/11/2005 14:11

Indeed Pruni.

I told my cousins wife that. I think she was stunned id said it too. Something along the lines that "Its great you are choosing to b/f but please please please be aware that it can actually be painful for the first 3 weeks at least but that is totally normal. People including mws and hvs tell you it hurts only ifyouare doing it wrong but thats not true. Please persist with it." I didnt mean to scare her but i was never told it hurts (unless you are doing it wrong of course.....hmm). It turns out her DD was tongue tied adn she got severe mastitis and after a traumatic birth too she opted for bottles.

bundle · 15/11/2005 14:13

3 lots of mastitis with dd1, agony feeding till 12 weeks then got miraculously better. no one ever told me it could be that way...(better with dd2 but still agony for about 3 or 4 weeks)