what do you think when you see someone using a bfing cover?

[reastie]

Like one of those bebe au lait style ones. Put a thread on here recently saying I was a bit about bfing in public, and, following on from some advice here I've got a bebe au lait cover thingy which arrived yesterday. Thing is, I almost feel like I'm making a deal about flashing the fact I'm bfing while using it - a bit like 'look at me, i'm bfing, yes, bfing, trying to disguise it but everyone can see it, i'm bfing'. Tried it at home and DH says since the material is jazzy (I like the pattern though ) it sort of attracts attention to what I'm doing. I feel a bit about what people think when they see people using one as I feel a bit like I might get more odd looks by using one than not using one, but don't want to feed without one and flash myself publically (lots of my tops open at the top and I'm a mahossive 38I so alot of flesh on show).

My bf cover (plain black) is a godsend. I've just had my first child so wasn't an expert feeder when I first started - I really needed to be able to see what I was doing. I also have very large breasts (so no tidy two-top method for me) and a 'grabby' son (so discreet muslins / scarves etc are very quickly pulled off).

But really, it's a personal decision - if you're happy having your boobs out, all power to you. I personally am not - nothing to do with how beautiful or not breastfeeding is, I just don't show my boobs to anyone I don't know - EVER! That's certainly not going to change just because I have a child.

But please don't make women feel bad for using bf covers, until I got one I didn't really leave the house in case my DS got hungry!

Reastie - not sure if you've been linked this or not, but someone on MN recently pointed me at MilkChic which is a non-profit site (a blog, in fact) where the owner goes through clothes currently available on the high st, and finds ones you could feed in without undressing your upper half. So, up the sleeve if it's a bat-wingy tunic thing (?? style and beauty ain't my natural home!), with a vest underneath, or by combining with a cardi. I really sympathise - I prefer dresses too, and have yet to find a really nice bf dress - so now I just look out for stretchy ones or ones with buttons down the front. Wear a cardi buttoned at the top, and it acts as your normal-looking nursing cover. I'm fed up with frumpy bf tops and now I'm just looking for tops and dresses I can feed in comfortably. Maxi dresses are pretty good with a cardi if they're stretchy at the top!

I feel sad that the mother feels she has to cover up (for whatever reason) and then pleased that she's still able to bf while out & about.

There are loads of them used around here. Most of the people I know who used one did so because they thought that bf was inherently embarassing. :(

I do think it's :( though if someone feels they have to use one because they're conscious of their stomach/flab/whatever, or because they're worried about spraying etc. I totally see why people feel self-conscious about that sort of thing, but I feel :( that our culture makes people feel like that. We should feel proud of our post-baby bellies.

God what a load of pious nonsense on this thread about people being 'sad' that someone uses a bfing cover.

You want to flash the world your boobs, take a bloody medal. Some people might prefer not to show their nipples at people.... because everyone is different.

But make a judgement about them, that's a good idea. Go sisterhood!

I don't use a cover, but I've never flashed my boobs at the world or shown people my nipples.

I think most people here have said they're sad that women feel embarassed, not sad that they use the covers.

Zombie that's exactly what I was about to post.

Why the hell would you feel sad about it?

I have not suffered sexual abuse. I am not a prude. I don't mind a jot if others bf in public without cover. I don't really care how others feed their own children full stop tbh, assuming they are paying a normal level of attention to basic nutrition .

But for me it was a much more relaxed event with a cover. It's already been said, but I was proud to bf while selfconcious about getting my (at the time, considerable) boobs out in public. This is the first thread about this I've seen on MN and I can't quite believe what I'm reading, I really though mn-ers were a bit more enlightened.

ps angeldog is right, it's sad that we feel selfconcious in this way, but that's a much wider issue :)

Oh Ffs. Those using them, good on you for breatfeeding. Long may it last. Ignore the mockers. Wtf does it matter, so long as you're comfortable and the baby is fed.

at willing Muslim. Got to be my fav typo of all time. Was only here to find out what a bfing cover was

Another reason I liked mine was that I didn't have to think to much about what I was wearing, I didn't have to have special clothes and probably saved a fortune as bf clothes are not cheap, oh and I could stay reasonably on trend.
Furthermore, they are good as a blackout for the baby, my lo was very nosy but when I had this on, she would just get down to business.

I DID NOT wear it because I was ashamed or embarrassed, I wore it because I wanted to, simple, my choice.

I don't think I've seen any judgemental posts. They all seem to be saying if it helps you feel more comfortable then by all means use one, but that there are ways of BF discreetly without spending money on one of these covers, and that most people honestly don't notice or care if you BF in public.

The OP seemed to be asking for honest opinions, so what's wrong with honest answers?

I'm a bit at the people who are being negative about using a bfing cover on the basis that 'you shouldn't let other people judge what you're doing'. Or it's ok to bfeed in public but this scarf is a bad thing because it does draw more attention to it.

Very supportive.

For what it's worth I think they look pretty cool - I've got massive knockers too and am not that keen on bfeeding in public for that reason. I bet 99% of people (unless they're bfeeding as well) won't even realise what it's for. The more relaxed you are, the easier the feed will be which can only be a good thing. Don't let some strange feedback on here put you off OP!

apologies if this has alreadt been mentioned. i have only slighty skimmed the posts but wanted to add my bit. I used a bump band when first feeding in public as didnt want my tummy showing. i found it perfect for hiding my jelly belly.

Some people here say our culture makes people feel self-conscious and embarassed about feeding their baby. But where does that come from? It always makes me smile when I see (usually a small) baby cuddled up with mum being fed. Most people I see pull their tops up or down and you can't seem any breast anyway, others use a muslin square, but then you can't even the little one.

Only once I saw a mum who popped out the whole breast (and it was a big one) to feed, in the middle of a play group - that made me feel a bit uncomfortable, I felt I had to look away.

I b'fed two babies, loved the experience and I fed them whenever they were hungry, upset or wanted a cuddle. I wasn't to bothered about where I was or who was watching. I usually wore a T-shirt and something over the top, e.g. a cardigan to cover up. Nobody, as far as I am aware, gave me funny looks or said anything. Most people tend to just fuss over the babies. So, I am not quite sure about that culture thing?

I used one, but please don't feel sad for me. It was mainly in front of DP's male friends or if I was out to lunch with a big group of people and DD needed to be fed at the table. In the beginning it would take me a loooong time to get DD latched on and I just preferred using one of those covers.

It was fine when DD was tiny, but once she started to grow a bit and get a bit more aware of her surroundings she would move it and expose my stomach.

I used a cover I bought from mothercare for when out and about for about the first month or so. I was just finding it all a bit difficult and felt more comfortable than having DS2 latching on and off all the time.

When I got used to it I went for the two tops method.

I don't judge anyone who uses one - good idea if it helps a bfing mum.

I feel that it adds to the pressure that I should cover up when feeding, even though I find it all incredibly impractical and am generally not bothered about feeding in public.

I understand why women want to use them - I wouldn't judge individuals for wanting to breastfeed discretely.

BUT, having spent years of my life in countries where most women dress far, far more modestly than we do in the UK, and yet breastfeed openly and unselfconsciously - it does make me feel sad and frustrated.

We're so messed up about women's bodies in the UK, and seeing mothers using these covers is a big reminder of this fact for me.

Who cares what 'they' think - you are giving your baby the milk you have made for them. Personally I used to shove my babies up under baggy jumpers and no-one noticed at all (but then I am flat chested and I think that is easier when you are breastfeeding).

I would do whatever you feel comfortable doing . The person who notices you doing it may be a pregnant first time mum who decides to breastfeed on the back of seeing you managing to do so in public.

Would love to know if they'd sell any of these covers in Uganda or Kenya. Bet women in these countries would fall about laughing if someone tried to get them to buy one.

Was laughing at this comment from an article on breastfeeding in public around the world:

"Ghana
Ghanaians see breastfeeding the surest and purest way to nurse a baby. Wherever you are, no matter what u are doing, you are expected to feed your baby if the need arises. If you dont and the baby keeps crying you end up with heaps of insults from onlookers and you are suspected of stealing the baby. The culture in Ghana frowns on exposing the body in public even the cleavage, but then exposing the breast for baby feeding purposes is highly encouraged.

adwoa"

I have a cover, sometimes i use it, sometimes I don't, but it's good for the purpose it's intended for. I particularly like using it outdoors in sunny weather as it provides a nice sun shade when BF. Also I like that it means I havn't got such a limited wardrobe and I don't need to wear a vest under my shirt etc if I don't fancy flashing my flesh. (I have no qualms about getting my boobs out to BF, but do not want to flash my stomach rolls to anyone).

I don't care if my cover draws attention to my feeding. I think it's a good thing.

Bloody hell. It never occured to me that people would judge me for using one. Have got Bebe au Lait one and it saved my sanity for various reasons. I cannot believe anyone gives a fuck. There I was, thinking I was doing alright breastfeeding, and it turns out I am making people 'genuinly sad'. What the fucking fuck?

I like the Ghanaian quote. Lots of people use them here (not the UK) and I think it's a boon for young mums, mums who are a bit shy and I almost bought one when I had to fly for nine hours. I don't feel sad when I see one. I used nipple shields and didn't want to mess around while everyone watched. DD is very easy to distract and it would have helped. I just used fancy scarves instead because I liked buying them . I have also heard that mums with large boobage and small baby heads find them useful!