Is formula feeding a feminist act?

[FeelLikeTweedleDee]

Excuse me as I'm high on Lemsip so my musings may seem unusual - I've been thinking about womens motivations for NOT breastfeeding.

Out of all the pregnant women I have spoken to who plan to formula feed from birth, the most common reason given is "I don't think it's fair that I should have to do all the feeds/shoulder all the responsibility for our baby's nutrition" which is an argument I can sympathise with. I understand the lactivists response: "there is so much more a man can do than feeding" but one must admit, feeding is pretty much the bulk of what a newborn needs. It also ties the mother to the baby in an exclusive manner which nappy changing, soothing, playing, etc does not.

I admit (online only because I'm a pussy) that women who chose not to breastfeed before even giving birth used to anger me. I couldn't understand why they would not put their baby's needs first. Why they wouldn't even give breastfeeding a shot? But perhaps sexual equality is sound reasoning?

What is your opinion on womens non-medical motivations for not breastfeeding?

If you're thinking "it's none of your business what feeding choices other mothers make", I disagree. Formula feeding costs the taxpayer a substantial sum every year re: NHS resources as well as its impact on the environment, etc. Thus womens non-medical reasons for not breastfeeding is an important issue.

Petsville - that's how I feel breastfeeding my almost 6mo. I guess I resent the fact that I can't go out for more than a couple of hours without DD whereas DH can go out all day if he pleases. Sometimes I crave space (and dare I say, copius amounts of alcohol) and I can have neither whilst breastfeeding. It doesn't feel very empowering.

Shame you feel that way, motherinferior.

I mean it.

It is really sad, and that sounds patronising I know and it's not intended to.

Is it the word 'nurture'? I wanted to get away from 'feeding' because I think it's more than that.

I used 'next generation' because I was thinking of the way society needs a 'next generation' not just a baby.

"I don't think it's fair that I should have to do all the feeds/shoulder all the responsibility for our baby's nutrition" er pardon? bf is about more than just milk, its the consistant physical contact and bonding as well. afaik the feminist perspective is all about the individual but surely in this bf/ff debate the individual whose needs are being championed should be the baby?

if one thinks bf is an anti feminist act then having a baby is even more so.

blinder - yes me too (bf) and for all those reasons are more.

It makes me feel...depersonalised. Reduced to my Reproductive Function.

I have children. I am a mother. But that is only part of who and what I am, and I really don't like the idea that I should be summed up by it, and find it quite difficult. It's kind of a by-product of reproduction, if you see what I mean.

Why shouldn't the baby be passed to the father if they are ff? Whats the point in the mother being exhausted when there is an option of the father doing a few night feeds etc.

Im so sick of the bf versus ff debate which this thread has already turned into!! Some people bf some people ff what has it got to do with anyone else how a woman chooses to feed her baby! My DD is ff fed and up to now has not been a drain on the NHS. I was ff 26 years ago and have never been admitted to hospital for anything.

motherinferior - have a look at 'the politics of breastfeeding' which estimates (based on figure which i cant quite because i lent the book to a friend) that if all uk babies were bf that if you just calculated it on gastrorentoritis (sic) then the nhs would save soemthing like £15 million (might have been more dont have it here) a year.

oh ffs

'surely in this bf/ff debate the individual whose needs are being championed should be the baby' - that's exactly the kind of selfless self-negation of motherhood that I find problematic.

Doesn't Gabrielle Palmer go on about how we should all be doing Womanly Jobs that fit in with breastfeeding, though?

Doesn't exactly fry my onion.

Feminism is NOT all about the individual. There are various sorts of feminism, lots of them collective ideals of how a better society might be structured, and how we might all work together to make that happen. Or how more equal gender roles might be achieved in public and private spheres. And sometimes, it can seem to many of us that the bodily requirements of breastfeeding are a bit of a drag on this.

Wanting your partner, if you have one, to have an equally close relationship to the baby, and wanting the baby to have a close bond with it's other parent, that's not necessarily a selfish wish.

And I know you can do this and still breastfeed but it sometimes doesn't actually help.

And I don't care if it is a selfish wish. Wanting your self to be preserved in this swamping absorption into a Female Role - that is, imo, a reasonably feminist desire.

I don't think you could say that ff is a "feminist" act at all. I work, have an identity apart from being nother to my children, but I was so proud of my female status while bf'ing.

I've competed with males at all stages of my career, work-wise, but here was something that only I, as a woman, could do. Something that felt really important and yet basic to me. I have no problem really with women who choose not to bf, but I felt really powerful and important (- poss bit OTT, but I did feel that way) while feeding. Every ounce they gained was my doing. My children were growing by my own efforts- there was no part of them that hadn't been grown by me- bloody hell, that's like being God! Men should stand back in awe at the power that is The Female of the species!

I am most intreagued by this 'Politics of breastffeding', and am off to see if I can get a cheapo copy off of Amozon. the title, to me anyway, suggests a strong pro BF bias? Hang on....

Hmm...for me, that verges on that idea that motherhood should be revered for its own sake, which I've read here and elsewhere. I don't want to be revered for motherhood. I really don't. I loathed pregnancy, loathed the early stages of having babies, don't want to be put on a pedestal, and feel reduced not inflated* by the whole reverence thing, given its context and background.

*Metaphorically reduced, obviously. In reality, inflated.

no she doesn't motherinferior. she talks about more need for understanding employers in order to culturally support breastfeeding especially in 3rd world countries where maternity leave is unheard of and women have to return to work soon after childbirth.

politics of bf is a pretty feminst book imo.

this topic must be a formula company marketing dept's dream. convince women that bf is restrictive ans subjugating and then sell then ff as if its a defiant feminist act. sigh

motherinferior - why do you find it problematic to put a baby's needs first?

Well why does it have to be MY sole responsibility to nurture the next generation? And the liquid that oozes from female mammalian nipples is not the sole form of nurture - nourishment, maybe, but certainly not nurture.

Breastfeeding may be a wonderful soulful and fulfiling experience for some - but I am naturally not good at sitting down for extended periods of time, and breastfeeding would have tipped me over the edge!

Decent maternity pay and conditions? PAH. Maybe for the middle classes. When I had ds1, maternity leave was 16 weeks long and I took 9 of it before he was born because I simply couldn't do my job any longer. I was too big, and too tired, and my job was physically hard at the best of times.

Leaving me 7 weeks with the baby.

So. Did I try to breastfeed, risking him refusing to take a bottle when I needed him to, or refusing formula? Pumping at work quite simply NOT AN OPTION, having a wee could be tricky. Or did I give him formula straight away, meaning he would be just as happy to be fed by his dad (who would be doing half the care) as by me, meaning less stress and misery for us all when I DID return to work.

You don't know what is going on in people's lives. Life can be hard enough, without adding what many breastfeeding mothers will agree is a massive stressor into the mix.

As it was, I was near suicidal adter having ds1. breastfeeding would, I think, have tipped it. The idea revolted me.

When you are talking about another human beings bodily parts, and what they do with them, then do you not think you should accept what THEY think is acceptable treatment of their own body parts? or do breasts somehow not blip the radar ... because they CAN be used by babies.

I don't tell people what they should be doing with their hands, I don't exopect to be told what i should be doing with my breasts.

"Doesn't Gabrielle Palmer go on about how we should all be doing Womanly Jobs that fit in with breastfeeding, though?" Does she? where? A quick look at PofB reveals nothing like that. She holds up Scandinavia as a 'shining example' where good employment practices include decent parental leave.

Virtually every mother works outside the home in Denmark, for example. Virtually every mother breastfeeds.

I dont believe in being selfless either, BTW.

Really? "powerful and important"?

BF made me feel exhausted, sore, unable to give my other child the attention he needed, nauseous, headachey and miserable.

FF made me feel human again. Not feminist, not empowered. Just human.

That Politics of BF book is quite old now, and IIRC it relies quite a bit on arguments for bf in developing countries, which is quite a different kettle of fish than (say) a healthy baby in a developed country with access to clean water and no history of allergies.

Not that I am trying to say BF doesn't have health benefits, but they are less urgent in some contexts than others.

I find the idea that motherhood is All About Putting Your Baby First problematic.

I count too. Yes, in those early stages the baby comes first. But that way the martydom of never putting yourself in the mix at all lies.

motherinferior - I can realte to your feelings. I gave BF a go because I wanted what was best for Alf, and was crushed when I despised it as mush as I did. It had been built up as SUCH a big deal - THE thing that caring mums do, THE way to bond, THE way to prevent all kinds of hirroble, nasty things. I had all this spinning in my head as I sat there sobbing whilst Alf was feeding - how bad a mother was I :(

BF is not for every mother.

Neither is being a sahm/career woman.

Neither is being married/single.

I could go on............

Jooly - like being God. I like that

PofB updated and extended 2009.