Extended breastfeeding and your GP

[frannyf]

Just wondered if anyone else has had bizarre or interesting comments from their doctors or other health professionals. Ds is 2.5 and we both went to the doctor yesterday. I asked the gp if what he was prescribing was ok to take while breastfeeding, and he instead checked if it was safe to take while pregnant. He realised his mistake, said "Oops, sorry, you said breastfeeding," then did a double take, looked at ds, looked at my notes to see if I had another baby (nope), and just looked astonished! I laughed and said "Yes, we're still breastfeeding, I know it's a bit unusual," and he asked if ds was having solid food as well!! DS is a very tall, chunky, healthy toddler sitting in front of him by the way. I thought it was funny, but was also stunned that a doctor would be so ignorant about breastfed toddlers.

The other gp we see sometimes is the only medical person who has ever been supportive of my extended bfing. She is Muslim and says the Koran states you should bf for 2 years, but not many mothers manage it. She says I must have the constitution of an ox to keep it up (another load of nonsense, but at least complimentary nonsense!)

The health visitor at our clinic is the worst. Whenever we walk in, instead of saying hello, she calls out (across a crowded room of mothers with babies) "Still breastfeeding, are you?" Cue looks of horror.

FW, check your positioning. When DS self-weaned, he had 12 teeth and I found that around the year mark, he'd make me a bit sore if he didn't latch on well (just when you think you have bfeeding sorted, something new comes along to challenge you!). Then he kind of got used to having the teeth and it was fine again.

I was a bottlefeeder stitch. But anyway I am totally shocked at the views and comments made by some GP's. Just reinforces my view that a lot of health professionals know sod all. Frannyf, I think I would have been tempted to respond to your GP's comment by replying that you weren't intending to introduce solids unitl he left school . Two years olds still ilk, so why should it not come from the breast?

Two year olds still need milk. They don't ilk!

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initially I didn't like them being touched by dh as they almost "belonged" to ds when I had them out 10 times a day.

But after a year I felt they belonged to me and ds and dh could just "borrow" them from time to time.

Wasn't in the least bothered about dh getting squirted with milk - he squirts a lot more disgusting liquid onto me!

I think breastfeeding mothers, or indeed any mother of a young child can feel "all touched out" so that sex is the last thing on their minds. I personally don't feel the same way about having my breasts touched as I used to - it's like "Not another one - geddoff!"

Am I wrong in thinking it also does dampen your libido, presumably so that you are less likely to get pregnant and jeopardise your little breastfeeder's chances? I expect this could put some people off. But in the grand scheme of things, a year or two to put sex relatively on the backburner should be no big deal.

Never had a problem with squirting although I suspect dh would find it funny rather than offputting anyway. (TMI alert) A friend said she squirted impressively during orgasm.

Can someone tell me more about self-weaning. I'm still feeding dd3 who is 13 months and she shows no signs of wanting to stop. It doesn't worry me but I couldn't feed the older two for this long (dd1 was unable to suck/swallow and I was given bad advice and with dd2 I got meningitis when she was 10 weeks and my milk disappeared) so I have no experience of this. Will she just gradually lose interest or drop one feed at a time? Roughly what age is she likwly to stop?

lol bb & ff - don't feel quite so daft for bringing up the subject now!

DS self-weaned when he was nearly 17mo (he'd have been exactly 17mo if he'd been born on his due date, but he was 10 days late ).

He'd been gradually losing interest - when he was one, he used to request milk during the day, he happily fed at night and first thing, then he stopped asking during the day (got too busy doing other things - being very mobile and having access to washing machine buttons, for instance!).

Then he refused the bedtime feed a couple of nights - wanted a drink of water instead. Then a few weeks later, he started to lose interest in the morning feed. It was a very gradual, baby-led thing.

I think that the fact I was pregnant again probably influenced things as I think I wasn't producing that much milk (I stopped with no discomfort at all) and I wonder if the pg hormones had changed the taste of it (no, I don't know this for sure!).

But he went from being very keen to not all that interested in the space of a couple of months - and now I cannot really remember feeding him - only a few weeks later!

La Leche League talk about not offering or refusing if you want your child to wean - basically you don't make a big deal of them either feeding or not. Your DD might want to continue to feed for some time yet, or she might lose interest in a couple of months' time. Either way, you've done a fantastic job feeding so long

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Thanks hunkermunker. She seems to love b/feeding at the moment, always delving down my top I'll just let her decide how long we go on as I really couldn't refuse her - she still seems so little to me (soppy mum).

Katef three of mine have self-weaned and number four will to eventually. (He's 8 months old)
They stopped taking milk so gradually that I can honestly say I don't remember them stopping but, roughly speaking ...
dd1 stopped regular feeding at about 2.5 but stopped altogether when she was 3.
When I had ds2 when she was only 15 months old. I fed throughout pregnancy then fed both of them together for another couple of years. DS3 arrived when I was still feeding ds2 but ds2 stopped asking about six months later (aged 2.5ish).
DS3 stopped soon after his second birthday.

Several occasions I was feeding two at a time (though the older one was just snacking intermittently). I found it helpsa great deal with jealousy when a new baby appears. It's lovely and reassuring.

My dd was still just 15 months old when ds1 was born so I was very grateful to still have this method of love and reassurance at my disposal.

On several occasions I remember feeding both at the same time and feeling like a Goddess!

With babies older than about one, I only give milk when requested. It's never my suggestion iyswim.

My dd used to ask for 'meeeltch', my ds 'Mick, mick, mick.' Then he'd gaze up at me, drunk looking and happy and say, 'Ugga shide' (he was an early talker).

This is turning into a ramble.
To summarise, it was seamless. I can thouroughly recommend it.

Well I'll stop thinking about it now . I'm so chuffed to have got this far as I always wanted to b/f and was very upset after stopping with dds1 and 2. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

My ds is 2.5 and there is no way he is going to stop any time soon! He would happily feed all day and night, but since he's been about 2 I now ask him to wait if I'm busy (or somewhere I'm not comfortable with). I really doubt he'll stop before he's 3. To be honest I doubt he'll stop of his own accord before he's 4. Not sure how I feel about that tbh.

Forgot to say how I was at the health professionals mentioned in this thread. I have been asked a couple of times by HVs when I plan to stop but no overt disapproval.

hya, I've been reading this thread with interest, some fascinating comments. My DD is nearly seven months and I partially BF, mornings and evenings. She has a couple of bottles while I'm at work. It was (if possible) always my intention to bf for a least the first year, but after reading this thread I've been inspired to kee going for as long as possible.

However, I'm already receiving comments (especially as she has two teeth) 'arn't you dong well, but isn't it time to give up completely, with work and teeth?'

'Oh are you 'still' feeding?'

But I love it, I start the day of with a cuddle and a feed, and I can't wait to get home and give the first feed of the evening. I feel so lucky that it worked out for me and I just worry about drying up!

And they're my DD, DH doesn't get a look in re boobies, but disappointed that they don't squirt during sex, I was looking forward to that bit you hitting him in the face with mummy juice

On the subject of bf & libido - I bf until 17 months (only stopped because I was prescribed meds for a gastric ulcer, would have bf until 2 if I could have). Anyway, during that time & didn't feel sexual at all. I can vivdly remember that 2 weeks after my last feed I must have ovulated for the first time. I was like a bitch in heat!

However, in return for all these months of no libido I was rewarded with a pair of super-sensitive & sexually perky norks!! Prior to bf, a bit of booby-fondling didn't do that much for me but ever since, they have taken on a life of their own. This has been a little disconcerting of late as I'm pg again & I'm worried that all this nipple twiddling might set labout off. It does gove me a rather impressive Braxton-Hicks though.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

MR, I used to say I'd stopped feeding, but DS hadn't

Oh, & another thing...HV this time. A friend of mine's ex-MIL used to be a HV working specifically with parents of SIDS. Believe it or not, when talking to these parents, she'd ask if they smoked. If they did, she'd look down her nose at them & imply (quite strongly) that that was probably the reason their baby had died.

Unbelievable.

Spidermama - I would love my ds to let go, look at me and say "ugga shide"! How totally cute is that!

HM - I might try that - keep Mum in law quiet .

It's strange the most supportive people I know are the chaps in my department at school - they're like 'go for it'. Its also a good excuse to leave meetings a tad early!! And DH thinks its normal.

My friends DH told her that it was time to move on, that she had given it a good go, but enough was enough. Booby jealously?????

KM

MR - you find people who are supportive of bfeeding in the oddest places. Usually not in baby clinics, sadly!

When I was a new mum for the first time, I remember how wholly inadequate I felt. I worked in a hospital which was situated in predominantly working class area so, consequently, my colleagues' advice on all baby matters was to "give him a dummy & let him cry for a bit". BTW, don't want to get into a "class" arguement...just repeating what I was told.

Now, this advice seemed totally against what I felt was right for me & my baby. I soon realised that this was the tip of the iceberg when it came to unsolicited baby advice. I then spent a few months worrying if everything I was doing was right or not. Eventually I developed the strength of my own conviction to do what I knew was right. Obviously, now that I'm pg for the second time I can largely ignore comments that would previously have made me feel like a failure. Which also includes comments from medical staff, as highlighted here.

My ds is another early talker and we often have negotiations about breastfeeding. He has named my breasts "big milkies" and "little milkies" (!) and is quite vociferous about which one he wants at any time. Lately there are some places and people I am not comfortable breastfeeding around, so if he asks for "milkies" there, I tend to say "Do you want some milk in your cup?" Last week he 'outed' me as he looked in disgust and and said very clearly and loudly "No, I want milk FROM YOUR BREAST!"

Frannyf- LOL at the idea that 2.5yo toddler is only having breastmilk! what does he think you are producing exactly?? Complan?
widespread ignorance regarding extended bf just makes me smile now tbh. I can get a bit combative with anyone who raises their eyebrows at me, but it just gives me all the excuse I need not to attend their clinics and not to listen to all of the other half-baked advice (e.g. when my 8mo was not putting on weight according to their "charts" I should give her a biscuit after her meals. Er thanks for that...)