Breastfeeding in public - annoyed!

[nursie]

I know there is a long thread on breastfeeding in public but I thought I would start a new one as I saw something today that really annoyed me!
I am going shopping tomorrow with a friend and ds, who is 3 months old. We will likely be out for most of the day so I went onto the website for the shopping centre I am going to to find out where the Baby Changing facilites are. There are several, which is good, but I was shocked to read a note that said ' There are Breast Feeding facilites in the public toilets.' Oh great, so if I want to feed my baby I'm expected to go and sit in the toilets on my own for half an hour???
I'm fully intending on feeding ds when my friend and I have our lunch, and although I recognise that some women may not want to feed in public, the note did rather give me the impression that feeding in public is not ' the done thing'.
Can somebody reassure me that attitudes to feeding in public are gradually changing?

I would like to put in a plug for my local library, which despite 'no eating or drinking' signs is a place where I've b/fed frequently and had absolutely no comments at all!

I became a bit of a militant breasfeeder when my first dd was born (this was back in 1991). I fed everywhere, and anywhere - I think people were too scared to say anything to me 'cos I'm 6ft tall lol! Did get a few funny looks at times, but I never took the slightest bit of notice. Why the hell should we feel ashamed of feeding our babies the way nature intended? Unfortunately I have had to bottle feed my youngest dd (now 4 months)due to medical problems and I find it a real pain to take bottles everywhere and having to beg some (inevitably) unhelpful employee to warm them up for me. I love to see other women bf their babies in public and only wish it was a more common sight - just let anyody criticise when I'm in earshot!!

Message withdrawn

Sb34, the woman I needed to speak to was off on Friday, so I'll try again next week. Useful to know she was on the sofa in homewares. Obviously not getting in anyone's way then!

I'm a Yank living in the UK and I have never had any hassle while feeding in public. Never been spoken to, asked to leave, etc. Maybe I chose the right cafes, but I'm guessing it's partly a British thing, being hyper sensitive to everyone's side glances and levels of nuance. I've certainly had people cooing over baby while I was feeding, and I'm not sure if they always realised I was feeding at that exact moment?! I'm happily bumbling along as oblivious Californian.

I've breast fed all three of mine. Anyway, anytime. I have used Mothercare's "Mummy room" because it's been more comfortable than the cafe with it's metal chairs with arms but generally if he needs/needed feeding I feed/fed him. I did use that line once Boe, the only time someone objecting to me feeding I told them I would happily feed in the toilets providing he ate in the toilets too!! He sat quitely at his table after that.

id like to add that when i may say do you mind.. its a rhetorical q and I am just warning nervous men to advert their gaze.!!

avert even

I think it's really funny the idea of people objecting to bfing, given what the "youth" of today wears. I've just come back from "holiday" with my kids/stepkids and my 14 year old step daughter was sent with clothes to wear that showed a lot more of her breasts than any breastfeeding I do.
I'm up for protesting in Next. They irritate me anyway the way the put their name on all their clothes.
What would happen if you refused to stop bfing. Is there a law that would allow them to have you removed forcibly from the store?

The only trouble I find with feeding in mother and baby rooms is that they are usually cupboards and they always stink!

Zebra - you are probably right, I do sit there waiting for someone to complain and wondering about peoples looks. But usually they are just pleased to see a contented baby.

* Warning * A man's opinion:

Hello to everyone. I have read through ALOT of posts on this board and wanted to throw my hat into the ring, so to speak.

My wife has breastfed 2 kids. I live in the US and never even saw a woman breastfeed until I was like 23 years old. I knew it happened ... but I had no idea what it was all about. I will never forget the day that I first saw it ... I had walked into the local mall and there, right in front of me, was a mom breastfeeding her child. I have to honestly say that I didn't know what to do. Part of me was embarassed and part of me wanted to watch because I was genuinely curious. But what can you expect from someone who doesn't have breasts and is now seeing them being used for their true purpose? I erred on the embarrassed side and kept on moving.

Looking back on that experience, I think most women would think that any guy casting more than a glancing look at them breastfeeding would think the guy to be some kind of pervert. Maybe I'm wrong. I think that both genders play into the closet breastfeeding mentality. But there are probably ALOT of guys out there who feel the same way as I did ... not sure how to react. Embarrassed but curious. So they err on the embarrassed side.

Since this experience, I have sat and watched my wife breastfeed for many hours in total and I can honestly say that it is probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It blows my mind that someone can find that offensive.

Yet my sister commented recently how disgusting it was that she had to sit beside a mom who breastfed on a plane. My fellow colleagues at work have commented how disgusting it is when they see it. I walked by a woman who was breastfeeding about a year ago and just said "hi" as I was passing (being cordial) and she covered up and acted like I was perving her. It kinda made me mad. I felt like yelling out that my wife has breasts too!

In all honesty, I would like to do something to help promote breastfeeding ... but I'm guessing there isn't really much that a guy can do (on this topic) without having his motives questioned. At least, not in the US.

You all can just go breastfeed your kid in public to make a point. I obviously don't have the equipment to make the same point. I thought about a website with the focus on a man's point of view ... but does the world need another breastfeeding website? I could just paste breastfeeding pictures on my car and drive around town (uhh ... kidding) Any ideas or any comments are welcome.

Tom

i b-fed all 3 of my children. I had DS at 18 and never had any negitive problems. I remember b-feeding DS in Asda one day, I had a blanket drapped over me and this old boy just chatted to me as through nothing was going on.He didn't bat an eyelid. I was the only one in a large group of younger mums to BF, which I found dishearting. When I had DD2 I was trying to get her to BF in Special Care (she was just starting, after being on a NGT tube for a while) when the nurse came in to help me. She said i had nice feeding boobs They used to ask me if I wanted to go the day room to feed her but I like to chat to the nurses and other mums so I used to feed her in the nursery, I think some of the dads found it a bit strange but hey!!!
I fully support B-feeding, its funny as I didn't want to feed DD2, but I expressed my milk while she was in SCBU, and I just started to feed her after that, and I feed her for 6 months!!

pcurious70 thanks for your perspective. We don't get too many men on mumsnet but they are always especially welcome.
In fact your experience of bf is very like mine.
My earliest second hand experiences of bf made me feel uncomfortable (why???)but now I to resist the temptation to go up and talk to every bf mother I see and shake their hand .