Breastfeeding in public - annoyed!

[nursie]

I know there is a long thread on breastfeeding in public but I thought I would start a new one as I saw something today that really annoyed me!
I am going shopping tomorrow with a friend and ds, who is 3 months old. We will likely be out for most of the day so I went onto the website for the shopping centre I am going to to find out where the Baby Changing facilites are. There are several, which is good, but I was shocked to read a note that said ' There are Breast Feeding facilites in the public toilets.' Oh great, so if I want to feed my baby I'm expected to go and sit in the toilets on my own for half an hour???
I'm fully intending on feeding ds when my friend and I have our lunch, and although I recognise that some women may not want to feed in public, the note did rather give me the impression that feeding in public is not ' the done thing'.
Can somebody reassure me that attitudes to feeding in public are gradually changing?

Your story reminds me, SB34, that while the woman in the M&S cafe today was feeding her baby a very young male employee went over to clear up the table from the previous occupants. He batted not an eyelid at her feeding the baby and I reckoned that either he hadn't noticed or that he regarded it as as perfectly normal. Either way, I thought it was a very positive boost for bfing.

Attitudes are definatley changing for the better. When i was pregnant with ds1 I witnessed a teenage girl shouting at a woman who was discreetly feeding her baby in a cafe. It really worried me at the time but I never got round to public bf anyway. Now there seems to be much more awareness and acceptance in shops and restaurants, although I would definatley appreciate an area to bf in my town centre that wasn't part of a smelly changing room. Thanks for all support btw, I'll shut up about it now because I'll have plently to worry about when baby is actually here.

Yes Suedonim, my dh is well over 40 too, and I'm 40, so I guess we are getting well into older generation territory (gulp) and he's never batted an eyelid at breastfeeding anywhere.
Would you mind if I emailed a complaint to Next Head Office? I can't believe the money they make out of maternity clothes and baby clothes yet no breastfeeding - that is seriously out of order.What date was it this happened?

BTW I don't mind feeding areas at all. As I said, I liked the John Lewis ones particularly if I was out and about on my own, didn't want to have to buy food or a drink but wanted a nice comfy chair and a pleasant peaceful place to sit for 20minutes. They have those wildly expensive rocking chairs and footstools which did actually make feeding more comfortable, esp in the early days when feeds took longer. I also fed a lot in my car, for very similar reasons. Plus in the car I could listen to Radio 4 and eat cake while feeding. Very nice. Nothing to do with discretion really, just my personal comfort.

It was yesterday morning at the Next Sale. It was Croydon's high street store.

I hope SB34 doesn't mind me replying on her behalf! I'm tempted to post the tale on an NCT board too so they can complain as well.

have you rung next hq?

Definitely name and shame !! Last time I went to first day of Next Sale I got to the door, having queued for about 1/2 hr, and was told couldn't take buggy in. Fortunately I had (a reluctant) dh with me who could wait outside but had I not would they rather have had a rampaging toddler - I think not!! In the end I went in and gathered stuff and dh brought ds in to size up at the last minute.

Can't believe they were so discouraging yesterday, it is not as if you can pick and choose where or when your baby gets hungry and how much money do they make from parents and kids anyway. I don't think any one really sets out to feed in the most indiscreet manner or to inconvenience anyone else. After all most babies feed better with the least amount of distraction and fuss possible. It should be a matter of personal choice whether to hole up in one of those cupboards known as feeding rooms (IME often windowless and stinking because they are also changing rooms) or in public. With ds I was far more reserved but dd got fed anywhere, from mountain restaurants to MacDonalds. I have to say living in a country where bf is far more the norm, at least in early days, was a great encouragement too.

Isn't there a Baby Friendly (or lack of) campaign to report it to ?

Any other current breastfeeders on for a Next in Croydon feed-in?

Well, I fed at a National Trust place today (the shame, Fathersuperior organised Family Membership, this really is a dive into respectable middle age, innit)? and I have to say nobody said anything whatsoever. In fact lots of people just cooed over the baby.

Tits out for the babes, indeed!

National Trust is great for things like that - we are also in middle age and have joined (although am only 28 and DP 32!!) when we did join DD told the man that DP was not her dad (man had called him her daddy) and she had a Daddy who was playing golf - she said this is *** and he sleeps with Mummy - felt like a complete slapper but he just laughed and said he will add it to his list of annecdotes. Have seen whole table of women with their tits out at Knowle Park and no one in the NT Cafe took a blind bit of notice - other than DP who thinks pregnant/breastfeeding mothers are beautiful!! (Oh he did not stare - just made comments about the beautiful babies and how natural it was!!)

I would most certainly make a complaint to next - do they not sell maternity tops with breastfeeding flaps and clothes for new babies - happy enough to take our money but not to do something completely natural in their stores - GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I was breastfeeding my daughter ML once came and had a look - and I am talking a proper look een touching my boob!!! She asked me if my daughters head should be in that position - I said she was feeding and happy so what was the problem - this from a women who bottle fed both of her sons!!! Never fed in front of FIL cause thought he was a bit creepy also drenched friend's boyfriend once who I had just been introduced to when DD fell asleep and nipple popped out of her Mouth!!!

Would be nice if shops had a little sticker or something on the door saying that they welcomed breastfeeding in their stores.

Im so shocked about all the negative comments people are experiencing with small minded people and bf'ing. I have never ever once had a problem and I have fed literally everywhere....all the cafes and restaurants I can think of and never once had a comment. Which is lucky really cos I would bite anyones head off if they had dared to comment but that's by the by! It's your choice to bf and your business only...if people dont like it then they should just keep it to themselves - I just cant get over how narrow minded some people are - maybe Im naive, but Im shocked by some of the things I have read. No wonder bf rates are so low in this country. I feel like going straight to Next in Croydon and breast feeding all afternoon!!

I never felt confident enough to breast feed my dd in public. I never quite managed to get the hang of feeding her without her lying on a pillow to support her. I was lucky though and we lived in town so if she needed fed I just had to nip back up the stairs to the flat to feed her then could go back out again if I needed to.

I have no problem with breastfeeding mothers. When I worked in a restaurant mothers often asked if it was ok and I always felt so sorry that they felt they had to ask. I always said that yes it was ok and if any other customers had given them hassle I would have waded right in there and defended the mother but nobody ever did complain.

Half the time you didn't even know the mother was feeding. You don't need to have your entire chest hanging out.

I was quite happy to feed my dd at home in front of friends and relatives to a degree. If I was at my grandparents house and dd needed fed I would go to a bedroom to feed her as I didn't like to feed her in front of my grandfather,never fed her in front of my dad or my FIL either. Female relatives I was quite happy to feed her in front of though. (although my granny kept trying to convert me to bottle feeding, didn't think it was right to breastfeed!) But that was all a personal choice for me.

I think breastfeeding is becomming more acceptable although I've never understood why it was unaccetable. If people don't like it they can look the other way or leave the area/cafe etc.

Just have to tell you that Formerly Squeamish BIL came round last night. I personally was charmed when dd1 informed him 'dass my sista, mummy feeds her outa her boobies'. LOL...

I've fed in National Trust cafes too. Also a member! Felt breastfeeding friendly to me too.

Sb34, which branch in Croydon? Apparently there are two? And yes, I have been on to Head Office. I spoke to customer services, who told me they had no policy on breastfeeding 'but obviously some people will find it offensive'!!!!!

OK, so now I've rung the press office and told them I'm writing a story about it (which I may well do) so hopefully have put the fear of god into them. Will let you know what the outcome is.

I am utterly outraged by their attitude frankly.

Oh, she also told me the stores weren't 'equipped' for breastfeeding (eh?) and that it was up to the staff's discretions whether they allowed it.

Aloha, Wha???? Equiped for it???? Madness.

good work Aloha! Keep us posted

Aloha - you go girl!

Maybe we could all send a letter and send it also to the national press - start our own pressure group!!

Does anyone have a directory handy - do they sell nursing bras and tops that open to breastfeed???

Good for you aloha, I think their attitude's outrageous too.

Not that I can find on the website, Boe, but they do set maternity clothes. So they are happy enough to make money out of pregnant women, but don't seem to want to let them feed the babes. Disgusting!

Aloha - did the press office tell you their stores weren't 'equipped' for it? If so, that is such a shabby response. They are seriously out of order, as hmb says they sell pregnancy clothes. I really think we should all write a letter to head office.

Any wordsmiths volunteer to write one?

LOL Motherinferior!

I fed DS2 in my local curtain/houseware shop, sitting crosslegged underneath a rail of curtain samples whilst my Mum tried to choose her new curtains (she always did take ages at these things), no one said a word, I think Next have a cheek.

Exactly what does a store need in order to be "equipped" for bf? I thought all you needed was a pair of boobs. (As proven by my friend who managed to do a supermarket shop while bf newborn.)

When they say the store isn't equipped for bf'ing just say it's ok, I'll bring my own boobs.

My dh has had a good idea - mums go in to this store and breastfeed one at a time. If they go in at the same time, it looks too obvious a protest, whereas if they go in one at a time one after the other, it would really confuse the staff.
' Hang on, there's another one.' etc etc