Hunger Strike: Support thread for those difficult to feed babies

[ClimberChick]

Reflux, distractible baby, nipple confusion, teething pain, growth spurt, slow/fast let down and more......... all welcome. I've noticed that there are few babies not too willing to drink the good stuff atm, so I hope this will be useful. A problem age seems to be the 3/4 month group, but don't let that stop you from posting.

I'm assuming that the babies are BF (which throws in emotional baggage as well), but advice will be on hand to FF babies as well.

Come share your stories, offer/take advice and general hugs and chocolate support. Because we know this stressful, emotionally draining and can make you:

• want to give up BF (if this is your method of choice)
• feel cheated out of that bonding experience that your suppose to have
• resent feeding
• feel like your baby is rejecting you (even though the logical part of your brain tells you otherwise
• feel under pressure, that you or your BM is not good enough
• feel guilty for continuing to BF
• and the general worry out your mind about them not eating enough

Links for identifying the cause here and here

general tips for feeding baby during strike action here

If your worried your LO isn't getting enough to eat, look for these signs of dehydration (which although rare is serious) and see a doctor asap

• dry nappies
• lethargy
• listlessness
• weak cry
• dry mouth or eyes
• the fontanel (soft spot) on the baby's head is sunken in or depressed
• the skin loses its resilience (when you pinch it, it stays pinched looking)
• fever

When I worried about time between feeds, I just remembered the nights when she went longer because she was sleeping.

Actually ATM LO is feeding well (20 weeks) but we've had a

nursing strike (brought on by too many bottles in a day) at 9 weeks - she would actualy stop crying the moment the bottle teat hit her mouth

general evening fussiness at about 12 -15 weeks

teething troubles combined with my slow let down anyway (16-19weeks), which led a a few weeks of screaming in the night (normally she's quiet, although not necessary asleep).

The only reason I think she is fine now is because I hired a rental pump for two months as I was just about to switch to fully expressing as this seems the easier option. LO knowing my cunning plan, soon changed track .

ATM she BF at evenings and weekends and has EBM during the day. We're now at the peculiar position where she isn't too keen on bottles, so have brought a sippy cup (I'm in America don't flame me for that term) which she took to with ease.

I don't how long this grace period will last for (probably until I return the pump), but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully this will help others to feel that "this too, will pass"

Ooh, me, I'll join. DS is 9mo but I nearly gave up bfing at 8mo as he just didn't seem interested anymore . It's better now but he still doesn't drink enough, I think.

He started getting distractible at 4mo and it's been a battle to get him to feed since then really. It's hard when it seems everyone else is saying 'ooh, I just cant' get him off, he wants to feed all the time...'

On the plus side, he eats loads of solids! We are getting there slowly with sippy cups but he's not keen, and never like bottles (will take an ounce here and there but that's it)

I'll join too. My LO is 20 weeks but only 9 weeks corrected age as he was 11 weeks prem, so we have reflux, and reflux meds, which I need to adjust fortnightly in order to avoid screming feeds. I also need to get vits in daily.

I've been told by a bf counsellor that he had tongue tie at 17 weeks which hadn't been noticed by the hospital in the 53 days he was there- I had it checked out at the hospital who told me the bf counsellor was talking rubbish. DS is distractible, and so doesn't feed that well in the day atm so has gone back to 3-4 night feeds from 2 a couple of weeks ago (and I have a streaming cold so feel very sorry for myself with lack of sleep meaning I can't shake the cold off)

I decide to do 1 more day bf then switch at least 3-4 times a month. I think nutraprem may help ds gain weight,, but having managed to avoid supplements in hospital haven't done yet although have the prescription in the changing bag every day!

Now I'm trying to just get to weaning and hope the reflux and sleep will settle, as well as pray ds is getting antibodies to avoid my cold....

Wahoo people

Hilda all sounds very impressive, you must be very proud of yourself. Those screaming feeds are a nightmare, arn't they.

ploppy , know what you mean about other people just being able to put them on and they stay there for ages, it makes me feel like I'm failing to do something as 'simple' as feeding.

I'll join

Not too many problems here, although dd's is feeding more than when she was a newborn. So exausting. It's hard as i am a=such an active person and having to sit down for 45 min every 2 hours is doing my head in! Then i feel selfish thinking like that.

Have ordered a sling thats meant to be easy to bf in so hopefully that will help.

MNP gave me a routine to try for her and it seems to be working. Today she has been eating and sleeping well so fingers crossed...

Oh and the reflux...how on earth one baby can be so sick but still put on weight i'll never know.

I just always wonder how much weight DS would put on if he didn't have reflux. He is steadfastly sticking to the 9 percentile which seeing as he was 0.2 when he left hospital is something but everyone else seems to grow these massive babies... I'm planning to get my own back when he's a slim georgeous teenager with a string of women after him

Hi.
Just marking my place for later.
Ds 2 has severe reflux (silent) and is breastfed and is a bugger to feed. QUite good with the meds though?!
Look forward to reading / joining in the thread later when I get 10 minutes...

Can I join too? My DS had tongue-tie and ended up back in hospital from dehydration. We've struggled to feed since day 1 (now 10 weeks) and been having top-ups pretty much consistently. Now he has taken a preference to the bottle and screams if I even dare get a nip out. So I've been exclusively pumping for the last week to keep going but now my supply is dwindling. Trying to keep my chin up but not helped by mother saying I am 'being a martyr' and DH complaining about me wanting to buy a double pump to cut down on my expressing time. On the plus side - tried to get DS on boob earlier and he had a wee suck for a bit so may try again later.

raedrenn, do you feel like you need the top ups (still worried about weight?). I.e. do you think you could try getting baby back on breast, maybe try the supplemental feeding system and cut out the bottles (hard work, but otherwise I guess the alternative is expressing).

What about hiring double pumps, think they're about 30 pounds a month, prob need for 6 months and then could make do with two. If you want to express and worried about supply, they you'll need to up the number of pumping sessions, and maybe get one in the night. I can vouch for the doubles being so much easier, though you could buy another single and just use two at the same time. I pump at work, and I get out exactly what she takes, so you can build up to one pump per feed (or less, I pump twice). Though it took some work.

When my LO went off breast, i cut out bottles, but understand that may not be possible.

hilda I also have a little LO, was 25th now 2nd (continually crossing and uncrossing it). Which really doesn't help the confidence thing. I feel like I can't say to people, "Oh, 8min feeds, not a problem, that our best" because maybe? it contributes to her low weight, despite the fact that she is fine and no HCP have ever questioned her weight to me.

nicki welcome, look forward to hearing your story

sprocket I don't think we've ever had a 45min feed. IF i have another one, then no bottles and no dummies, just so I won't be wondering if that's the problem. We introduced EBM bottles as I returned to work at 4 months, but if we do this again, then bring on the MAT leave.

sorry another long one. Just looking forward to being able to talk about the daily issues with our LOs with other people who understand

Hello, hello.
God, don't pologise CLimberchick - I know I am very glad you started this thread!
My ds 2 is my 'problem' kid. He is 9 weeks and has had silent reflux since birth plus he has the usual colic and wind issues so at least the latter 2 should go soon. However, we are still struggling to get the reflux under control and it is a nightmare. HIs actual feeding has got a bit better on Ranitadine, but when he has a bad spell he fusses and screams with hunger and pain.
I find bfing him hard because I feel like I am poisoning him as eating makes him sore, iyswim. It also turns into a wresting match too with both of us knackered and sore and frustrated.
We are lucky in that due to him being as bloody willful as me, he has managed to stay around the 25th percentile so I am very grateful for that. In some ways though this makes the medics less keen to help us out as 'he'll grow out of it'. Yes, but perha[ps not foe a year, ffs!!
SLeep is a massive issue for us too - pretty ususal for uncomfy and peckish babies. I didn't realise babies could get bags under their eyes...

nicky yeah i've often looked at LO bags and thought OMG. Know what you mean about feeling like your poisoning them. Didn't I read somewhere that BF is better for reflux babies?
I get the impression that most doctors don't believe that drugs help what they think is just colic (but is reflux). I think they view it as giving people with colds antibiotics and that in the end they 'give in' to parent demand. Or maybe I've reading too many American parenting magazines (there in the pumping room, I don't buy them) and they have interesting right wing opinions in them.

LO has been a bit fussy again the last two evenings. Nothing much, just bits of crying and general impatience. I've also had to resort back to switch feeding, just hoping its not the start off another slide.

my lo is deciding that a 5 min feed is all he wants but preferably at least every 45 mins today. I've been trying to write a letter all day! And to think i had wondered about donating some more ebm to scbu as my freezer was full.. I'll be giving it ds instead I think as he's clearly finding bf frustrating today and a bottle of ebm will stop tonights wrestling at least.

As for the reflux after 2 trips to A+E I now have the formula to adjust the dosage of both ds's ranitidine and domperidone which I do fortnightly to try and keep on top of things. everyone i know at the hospital ( a long long list ) says reflux is better with bf, or ebm at least and it usually gets worse on formula. I remind myself of that whenever I think about nutraprem. the docs at the hospital are also happy to give the drugs but my gp wasn't. She kept saying it was unlicensed for babies. I know that but that oesn't mean it doesn't work. The pharmacist also wanted to know who prescribed domperidone when ds was 2 months as he was a bit small for medicines. I don't think he was expecting me to say is neonatology consultant! A bit like the other mum I met at a drop in session telling me wasn't domperidone poison, why wad I sure ds should have it. As I was having a bad day I replied that he had it to keep him alive when he either took it andcould breathe as well as eat, or he didn't take it and would have to chose whether breathing or food was more important

so if you struggle with gps and meds, push for a referral. hospitals are more pragmatic

Can I join too? 3-week-old (I know, early days) who now drinks like a trooper, but bugger me my nipples are sore! The first week he had real difficulties latching on -- got frantically excited at the first sight of a nipple which spirallled rapidly into panic and impossibility latching on. So I've gone with what worked to get him on and hoped the pain would get better. He's now cluster feeding in the afternoons and I'm in agony.

He is latching, but he's flattening and pulling my nipples into a ridge because he's not getting them past the hard palate. Plus my right nipple is a bizarre shape and sometimes he forgets entirely how to latch onto it. I expressed a feed today because I couldn't bear the pain in my right breast.

Any suggestions for retraining him? I can't bear the idea of not BFing him.

My 10 week old has silent reflux and is a bugger to feed. He is bottle fed and I've found that Dr Brown bottles have helped a lot.

My GP wasn't willing to prescribe medication so I took him to hospital and he's on ranitidine, donperidone and gaviscon.

I find it very soul destroying when i can't feed or comfort him but he does have some good days when he smiles and is a corker.

Hildathebuilder, what is the fornula for the meds, I could really use that.

I got referred to a gastric paediatrician who is very helpful so its a good idea to get referred as you don't feel like you're copig alone.

Also, great website called babyreflux.com where you can get sleep wedges etc.

Hi I thought I'd pop in as have had a lot of trouble with BF but it is much easier now.

Basically my DS went on nursing strike for about 4 months and I couldn't feed him awake. Had to feed him asleep/drowsy during naps or at night time. He has silent reflux so caused him a lot of pain and as it took to long to get the medication as GPs didn't believe me, it was too late to get him back on the boob.

However now, at 10 months, he's feeding again although as he only feeds 5/6 times a day it's MUCH easier anyway.

Some tips for silent reflux/reflux mums - cut out dairy OR if you're formula feeding, ask your GP to prescribe hypoallergenic formula. Dairy intolerance and reflux usually go hand in hand. I cut out dairy and it made a HUGE difference. I can't give DS dairy now he's on solids so it obviously affected him.

Secondly, I found I had to wind him properly during night feeds as he finds burps really painful. Sometimes it takes about 20 mins to get one out (even now I have to do it!) - best way I found was to rub his back, not pat.

Also positioning is really important - I had to make sure DS was upright or head above bum otherwise he would be uncomfortable.

Finally I realised I had an overactive letdown and over supply of milk which also makes reflux worse as DS would gulp down loads of air. So I had to block feed to sort it out!

ANyway, I've come across really preachy, but just wanted to offer my support. It really does get easier with time.

Welcome to all the new comers

beanlet not sure what advice I can offer, but understand the stage, where you just get them latched on any old way. Personally, I waited till she was feeding a bit better and then only let her latched provided her mouth was open. I think its also quite common for boys to forgot how to latch about the 3 weeks stage. What about waiting for let-down, breaking suction and trying again? Though if LO is really impatient then I guess that won't work. I guess what you do depends on how bad your nipple is right now . If he's latching in that badly, then he can't be drinking well, so maybe with that in mind, you can be determined to do whats best for him in the long run (even if it means more crying short term). What about feeding when LO is asleep or drowsy?

chacko soul destroying is exactly what it is

So how is everybody holding up?

hello, i'd love to join too, climberchick found me on my own moany post-weigh thread!

DS2, 15 weeks, just doesn't like bfing much, and combined with a 48-point drop in percentile since he was born, it's very guilt-inducing.

He's always been a screamy feeder and was miserable all the time for first 10 weeks, so have considered silent reflux, but seem to have pinned it down to issues with wind. Cutting out all acidic foods, all 'windy' foods and chocolate seems to help, but it's easy to slip. If i have the odd innocent-looking cherry tomato with a salad the next day is hell.

it also helps to feed lying down and when he's very drowsy after a nap - but even then no feed lasts longer than 7 minutes.

except this evening when I fed him to sleep for the first time ever!!!!!!

Hi can I join too! I am so so glad you have started this thread....DS3 is 14 weeks and we too have the screaming, battling feeds where I feel like i am trying to force feed him acid or something! Reflux - on infant gaviscon but its a nightmare expressing and mixing it in syringes....so only doing it in the EBM feed last thing at night. screaming in the evening up to 4 hours - Oh and not sleeping at night. He was 4 weeks early and is on the 25th centile but 75th corrected so there are some chubby bits! Just struggling with doubts day in, day out.....is it nipple confusion from the one EBM, reflux getting worse, too hungry, not hungry enough.....or something i am doing??? DS is my 3rd premmie (others 32 and 34 weeks respectively) so you kind of think i should be less of a wreak feeding number 3 but oh no out comes the box of insecurities that have obviously been tucked away in between PG! Anyway rant over with....thankyou for starting this thread lets try and help each other - what tricks do you use with your LO and what works for you?? I do the feeding in a darkened room, also feeding whilst walking round...soft music....jiggling up and down...dummy in the pull out and latch on (this one strangly has worked most consistently today). BTW he has a dummy so that i can do the school run, cook dinner, bath etc the other two when he is particularly miserable...please don't say ditch it! Hope the rest of your are having a good evening and thanks for making me feel i'm not alone in this.

Oh yes i forgot the worry of teething too - he is rubbing his fists in his mouth all the time....which again makes me think hunger then turns his nose up at a feed. Igglybuff thanks for the info about dairy i will try and cut it out and see what happens. Also have tried the positioning trick making sure he is more upright but dont seem to be able to get him latched on any other way than completely horizontal. DS2 had horrific reflux and was on all meds mentioned and only grew out of it aged 3....we used to wheel his highchair into the downstairs shower and hose it down in between/after each meal....i took him out first mind . Still a picky eater now but lean, happy and healthy!

Glad I've found this, it's been horrible trying to feed dd2; she was fine (although very sicky) up to a couple of weeks ago, then she started being a bit fussy and wriggly at feed times, and this has graduated into a weird feeding rage thing where she latches on, fussed slightly until letdown, feeds well for about 30 seconds... And then all hell breaks loose. She pulls off, cries, goes back on, pulls away but holds on so that she stretches the nipple out and slides to the end, sucks a bit more, is off again, back on, crying and seems hungry but will not feed. WTF is going on? She is 15wks and fed beautifully up to then. The milk supply is dropping too, so even if she does try to feed properly, I don't think there's much there.
Nct counsellor today recommended compressing the boob so she doesn't have to work too hard for the milk, and switching sides frequently to trick her into keeping getting the couple of minutes feeds she'll now take. It worked slightly but still no good really. She lost 3oz this week.

I am heartbroken that it's not working for us anymore; dh and everyone else around me is pushing hard for me to switch to bottle feeding, implying I'm being selfish for trying to continue. When I see dd's cross little face crying after a feed I cry too, she used to have that lovely drunken contented look and snuggle up close. Crying now... this is awful.

Going to try to get her weighed and talk to hv's tomorrow, if no-one can help there it will be bottles for us

FatSeal
She pulls off, cries, goes back on, pulls away but holds on so that she stretches the nipple out and slides to the end, sucks a bit more, is off again, back on, crying and seems hungry but will not feed.

I had that problem when DD was about 3 months. Turns out that it's one of 2 problems:
i - she needed winding. Fixed that by holding her upright and getting her to calm down when she pulls off boob (I used to get her back on without winding before I figured that out which meant her feeding a bit then crying)

ii - my milk flow was too fast and spurted into her mouth which startled her. Fixed that by expressing about 30 mls before one feeding resulting in virtuous cycle as DD woudl then feed well, then slowly reducing amount expressed each day.

(took about a couple of weeks to figure that out though, all the while poor DD was getting complexes about BF!) Hope these ideas help.

Burp would not come out till DD was calm. Then a little jiggle or so would produce a burp (or 2 or more!)

Thanks for the advice :-)
You are spot on, except that that's not it this time, because she did used to fidget after about 5mins when she needed a burp, just as you say, andI'd take her off, sit her up, burp her and she'd go back on beautifully. She's fussing from the word go now, waiting for the letdown, and hasn't drunk anything to need a burp.
On the second count you're right again, she used to choke and splutter and panic when the milk spurted too fast for her, but now it's the only time she settles and drinks properly for a few moments, so I feel it's the reverse, she's cross because the milk isn't fast enough for her liking.

I have a horrible feeling that it's all to do with the 3 bottles she's had on occasions; now she's had it easy, she doesn't want to go back to working for her milk.

FatSeal around 4 months they get really fussy on the boob anyway and have little patience, plus there's a massive growth spurt . Perhaps don't give any more bottles for the weekend as a last ditch attempt and feed her when she's more receptive - so just as she wakes for a nap or when she's falling asleep for one (so rock gently to sleep first)? I did this with DS and managed to keep his weight gain on track as he would not feed awake!

Also with the fast letdown I would suggest try block feeding (so only use one boob per feed. If you do already, use the same boob two feeds in a row. It means she can get more of the rich hindmilk so more satisfied. I did this and it helped - when DS started feeding properly, he'd get upset if I stopped or had forgotten.

monkey can you get different medication? Also you can mix the gaviscon with water in a syringe and give it that way - that's what I did (I BF). Much easier. at highchair in the shower - good idea!

FatSeal that's true. at 3 months DD had issues with flow being too fast so would only feed from my left boob which was slow flow. However she switched at 4 months to favouring fast flow right boob , so yes you could be right. To increase flow, you could express after feeding her so that the next day there would be more milk?

Igglybuff would be great to find out what you are doing now to break the sleep to feed association? DD is just now going into a phase of not wanting to feed unless she's sleepy. Luckily at 6 months, we can supplement with solids now.