Hunger Strike: Support thread for those difficult to feed babies

[ClimberChick]

Reflux, distractible baby, nipple confusion, teething pain, growth spurt, slow/fast let down and more......... all welcome. I've noticed that there are few babies not too willing to drink the good stuff atm, so I hope this will be useful. A problem age seems to be the 3/4 month group, but don't let that stop you from posting.

I'm assuming that the babies are BF (which throws in emotional baggage as well), but advice will be on hand to FF babies as well.

Come share your stories, offer/take advice and general hugs and chocolate support. Because we know this stressful, emotionally draining and can make you:

• want to give up BF (if this is your method of choice)
• feel cheated out of that bonding experience that your suppose to have
• resent feeding
• feel like your baby is rejecting you (even though the logical part of your brain tells you otherwise
• feel under pressure, that you or your BM is not good enough
• feel guilty for continuing to BF
• and the general worry out your mind about them not eating enough

Links for identifying the cause here and here

general tips for feeding baby during strike action here

If your worried your LO isn't getting enough to eat, look for these signs of dehydration (which although rare is serious) and see a doctor asap

• dry nappies
• lethargy
• listlessness
• weak cry
• dry mouth or eyes
• the fontanel (soft spot) on the baby's head is sunken in or depressed
• the skin loses its resilience (when you pinch it, it stays pinched looking)
• fever

When I worried about time between feeds, I just remembered the nights when she went longer because she was sleeping.

OOOh I found the website. There's loads of different formulas for all kinds of feeding problems - one for all of us then hehe!

www.enfamil.co.uk/

I was actually quite surprised to get the soy on prescription, considering it's the same price as what I get anyway. Lucky I did as it has to be ordered in at my local place. Interestingly in the well-off trendy area where my parents live there's a variety of soy on the shelf in both a boots of the same size and a small pharmacy. Dad said I looked poor when I told him! Fecking cheek.

Strawberry - look what this website says! 'Temporary lactose intolerance can be triggered by an episode of gastroenteritis which may result in diarrhoea and vomiting. This usually lasts from 4-8 weeks'. Didn't you little boy have gastroenteritis? Could this be it?????

I'll go with the soy for a while and see what happens. IF it works maybe the intolerance is the answer.
I'm hoping in a way it isn't allergy, but everyone wants their child to be 'normal' I guess. I'd never even heard of it before.

apology for previous prejudice no longer held

I used to think all this allergy stuff was just a fussy middle-class kind of thing for women who worry over everything Now I've learnt.

haha. Know what you mean. If I hear about one more woman with a 'wheat intolerance,' I'll gag!! But it does sound like his intolerance, if that is what it is, might be short lived - just a temporary thing after his gastroenteritis. Hopefully it'll pass and he'll get back to normal within a few weeks.

I'm intolerant to both cows and soya milk (grew up working class though and took me years to realise). Nothing major, just icky feeling for a while and a quick dash to the loo (prob tmi).

strawberry, sounds really tough and I think your doing really well. Must be hard to keep trying to convince people that something is not right. Hopefully we can help to keep you sane.

I felt so happy this morning..bottle in...70ml calm , no squirm, easy burp when paused. THey total bloody refusal for more. I KNOW he;s hungry, he last ate around 8pm. Bloody child...I love him really.

Crazy, yep the only time I'd heard it was skinny women in restaurants proclaiming 'I can't eat dairy, I'm allergic' or such like. Or a really precious mother of a kid I taught who seemed to think her child would melt if something non-organic passed his lips. So this is how you end up a fretful 'precious' mother. God..I've learnt my lesson ok? Hope it's short-lived.

Climber, I hope Soya is ok, so far less poo but very runny. I think I should be prescribed bloody pampers too until this is over I go through so many! I have disposables but I cannot face them, nor probably could my washing machine handle them.

He's back in his cot for an hour, to re-start the day. Best place for babies who have grumpy edges! Bless the way he just sleeps on demand if placed in a certain position in his cot!

Oh, it's good that he's taken it well though. Maybe it will just take a while for his appetite to return to normal. If you think about it, he's made a big improvement in a short space of time. Give it a few days and hopefully he'll get there!!

How about you and your baby Climber? How are you both doing?

I thought DS had turned a corner, but why is it when I start to think that he changes the rules again.....

last few days feeds had been

4 am, 6am, 8am, 10.30am, 12.30pm, 3.00pm, 5.00pm, 7.00pm, 11pm or thereabouts.. a few mre than I'd like but seemingly he was eating more in the day and less at night. He was also getting more settled

Yesterday it was

4.30 am, 6.30 am, 10.00 am, 12.30 pm, 2.00 pm, 5pm, 6.45pm, 11.00 pm and DS seemed to be happy with longer stretches and bigger feeds when he did feed. I finally though maybe his reflux was getting better and he could feed more and snack less, but still get his calories in.

When he's bottle fed he always takes about 4 oz, of EBM.

So we get to last night

11.00 pm to 4.00 great I think another 5 hour stretch, then 6.45 - getting to be a civilised wake up time. But at 6.45 he feeds very little maybe 8-9 mins ( a full feed for DS on both sides when he's ok is never more than 15-20 mins )but his morning we were on again off again scream scream. He just wouldn't take any more at all.

He then screams for the next hour, I go through and check everything but he's not obviosuly in pain, clean nappy, up to date on meds, temperature ok... DS is getting more and more frustrated and in a state - he headbutts me and seriously knocks my jaw (it still hurts- and his head can't be good either!) so DH comes in and says - could he be hungry. Then quaffs 60 ml of EBM in a bottle and promptly calms down - and is now asleep again.

Any ideas why he won't feed from me when he's hungry, any suggestions as to what to do next? Should I have treated 6.45 as a night feed rather than though oh well its only 15 minutes.

As I've said before there are days when I would quite happily just bottle feed DS EBM as I have always been happy pumping, and increasingly I think maybe I should as he is often so much calmer when I do, and can take enough. But then there are times when he feeds so very calmly and expressing seems like it is a bit of a faff.

I still don't enjoy BF but suppose am reluctant to stop altogether as I doubt I would want to pump all DS feeds. But when he is topped up with EBM in a bottle he sleeps, he's calm and the gaps are longer....

Sorry Hilda, I ff so no advice here.

My ds is eating a good amount. He snacks all day, no more than 70ml in one go but it adds up to a good amount. I don't really care at the moment how it gets in. Maybe he'll slowly build up his stomach capacity. He's always been a snacker, plus no gaviscon at the moment.

So far he's had 400ml from 3am and it's just past 11am! When you think of the 280ml in the entire day days it's bloody amazing.

Strawberry glad your DS seems to be hungry today. Mine has had another snack and is now happily rocking backwards and forwards in his battery powered swing (Thank god those things were invented, I would long since have throttled him, DH anyone who crossed my path without it) I on the other hand am knackered and already eaten my way through the end of my packet of biscuits. Maybe its time to get baking.

Hilda mine is in his swing! I would not object to the person who invented them being knighted! I'd contribute towards the cost. It's the 'magical mobile swing' and the word 'magical' is perfectly accurate.

Out of interest, why do people aim for the 3/4 hour feeds? Mine's never managed it. The only full feed is the 3am one (4oz) , the rest are consumed in stages of 2/3 oz
.

Just a heads up, I tried to exclusively bf with pumping, my supply slowly dwindled away by 6/7 weeks. Still some was better than none.

I am for 3/4 hour feeds because I am convinced it would make my life easier.... In fact I am convinced that life would be perfect if DS would just feed better and turn into an angel baby ... I never quite manage it and although I do know some people who do I think its incompatible with reflux.

He just had a good feed though and now sitting in his chair hitting a vibrating fish so what with that and my chop chip cherry cookies cooling in the kitchen I can hopefully have a better afternoon. Now why couldn't this morning have been more like this?

I am still telling myself I will get to 9 september when DS is 6 monthd (actual) bf if it kills me. which maybe it will!

Hello all.

I also tried to make ds2's feeds a little further apart, but it made no odds so am back to as-and-when. SO long as he is happy (a rarity!) then I don't mind. It doesn't make any oodds to his reflux how often I feed him or to his windy bum.

We have bought a swing for him today. It BETTER BLOOMIN' WORK! It might be my salvation.

Hi all - i havent had chance to read before i posted but will go back when i can.
My lil man is 28 weeks and is growing up real fast he is crawling, sitting up, pulling himself to his feet and has 2 teeth now! but recently im struggling with feeding him and its harder now with teeth for he clamps down and it hurts! he has never shown an interest in bottle so i have tried all sort of cups but he refuses to drink from any of them no water, no juice and no milk although i express so i can go shopping, hairdressers etc without him in tow! last nite he refused to take the bottle and this was with me out of the house and he was home alone with his dad! he preferred to just sleep 6 hours until i returned! i want to get him taking the bottle sometimes i have tried many ones but as soon as he sees it he turns his head and boxes it away!i luv him so much and want him to have the best, also HV says he needs to gain weight but he is not showing much interest in food much either!
excuse long post - need advice!

Mama welcome. I have no advice to offer I'm afraid... I only wish I did but you do at least have our sympathy.

DS decided to have a distracted day the rest of today and once again I was in Boots with my prescription for nutriprem wondering whether to hand it in because it would of course be an answer to all my prayers if he had formula, he'd eat well, sleep well and put on weight. Of course if I really believed that I would have handed the prescription over 10 weeks ago when I first got it. But then DS started screaming so I went to the baby room and fed him, and he took a big feed, both sides good 15 -20 mins without screaming or being distracted... and once again I thought oh ok better again now.

30 mins later in John Lewis with friends and he was bloody hungry again, so fed him another 20 mins both sides, then he decided to go scream scream while all my friends babies were angelic, quiet, feeding peacefully etc. I know you can't tell what kind of baby you will have but why oh why did I get the awkward refluxy prem..... I know he can't help it nbut.

Oh well 1 month and 3days to go before 9 September!

Nicky hello again... I hope the swing works for you. I would personally second the contribution towards a knighthood for their inventor, and am sooo grateful for the friends who lent us ours. fingers crossed for you

Hi Hilda

I fed DD1 expressed milk, because she took it much easier and had to be in the right frame of mind to take the breast as well. The sad fad is, that modern technology has made it far easier for babies to feed from a plastic teat than from mum. It is a lot easier for them, so that might be why he is happier with EBM. Keep it up love, not long to go!!!

Strawberry - glad to hear you sounding so chipper - sounds like you have turned a corner! Long may it continue.

Mama - I know you mus be out of your mind with worry, but try not to be! Have you tried him with a normal tea cup or similar? We've got a 'doidy cup' (amazon) and DD1 love it and had it from 4 months instead of bottle. Before that I was know to feed her with a syringe (hit on the idea when I noticed how enthusiastically she took calpol from the syringe!) took a while to feed her, but needs must!! And I know it won't make any difference (it certainly didn't to me) but your little one is not daft, he might be slow to gain weight out of sheer stubbornness, but his body won't let himself de-hydrate.

So, onto my news! Got DD2 weighed today, and had her 1st set of injections (groan - how awful?!?) Turns out I've been a total neurotic mother - she's 11lb 8oz, which puts her bang on the 50th centile, which is amazing considering she was born on the 15th! She's made up for lost time alright!She's also been feeding a lot easier with my new 'system' and has been taking upwards of 5 oz at most feeds, every 3-4 hrs. And wait for it ... she slept from 10.30 til 4am last night, which is a major improvement. Bet it all goes bloody to pot tonight after the flaming jabs. But for now, I'm going to let myself celebrate!!

I'll check how you all are later ladies xx

Hi Mama.
Again, I am sorry I can't offer any advice, but can offer loads of empathy/sympathy! Hopefully someone more knowledgable will be along shortly...

hilda, like you I have fantasised that perhaps formula would turn ds into an angel baby, but I know it wouldn't really.
The swing is FAB. He is snoozing atm, meaning I can sit on my arse here instead of walking along the side of a major A road trying to get him to have a decent nap. He has eaten very frequently today, but been very squirmy (think octopus wrestling) and is foaming at the mouth. I think he might be having a growth spurt too. Do you think htat can make the reflux flare up?

Yy, I am frequently fuming at my frineds with their non-refluxing kid. I know we all have our battles to face, but your own always seems like th worst...

Crazy, that is brilliant news!

My lo had his jags last week and he slept for 3 hrs afterwrds with the shock!
It did make him more unsettled, but didn;t affect his feeding.

5 x 120ml feeds (plus will be one in the night) today
3 poos

There ain't any happy mummies than me around. Even reflux is just a niggle really.

Please God let him enjoy his milk again forever more !

Crazy, congratulations on the weigh-in.

Here's hoping my ds gives me a lovely bit of weight gain at his next Tuesday. I'm fed up of seeing 5kg 4 weeks in a row!

Jabs...shivers

Good stuff, strawberries!
Hope he has put a wee bit of weight on.

Hi Mama.

Why does your HV say he needs to put on weight? Is he static or losing weight, or just not gaining as fast? As for biting/clamping have you been working on it? Pre-empting and breaking suction (think back when you had to teach him to latch). As for refusing bottles, sorry no ideas other than syringe.

Hilda Sorry when they do decide to feed well again they don't turn into an angelic baby. Just that now when they cry, you tell yourself that being cranky instead of just assuming its food related. If you did switch to fully expressing, I don't think you need to worry about supply since your so well established now. Also since you know normal range is 19-30ml, you can tell if supply is going down and do something about it.
Looks like ours are the same age, LO is 6 months on the 5th Sep.

Great news about the weight Crazy. Since out LO had some good weight gain, we've not had her weighed for 3 weeks, but its really hard to not go. Before the last two weigh ins, she'd only ever put on a max of 3oz a week, so when we had the 8ox we were gobsmacked. She's even got little rolls of fat now

As you can tell feeding is going well. It seems a mixture of bottle/cup(EBM) and breast works best. She gets fussy towards the end of the weekend, but by end of Monday things are normally better again. Maybe its because those are normally night time feeds.

Odd creature aren't they

Hello everyone.... Nicky glad your LO loves his swing. They truly are magical aren't they. Crazy great on th weight. My little DS sticks to the 9th percentile on his corrected weight. I tell myslef that seeing as I am 9 ish stone and Dh is 10 ish stone he was always going to be little. All the comments seem to be that people with the big babies have to wory about feeding them as they are soo big. If only they got the fact that all BF babies take about the same amount regardless of size. I know my LO is taking about 28-30 oz a day at the top of the range (various reasons I know the joys of having had a prem in a medicalised environment) but because of his size and reflux that is not an amount that he can take in unless he feeds at least 8 -10 time a day.

For what its worth I am sure that groth spurts make reflux worse.. DS is trying to tank up but it just comes back up until his stomach has grown. It reminds me of what my grandma always used to say, his eyes are bigger than his stomach. He does still have those georgeous big round blue baby eyes though so I will forgive him that one.

onwards and upwards

Oooooh God. She's back to her old tricks again! Wriggling around on the teat, just taking enough to sate her hunger, really unsettled, distracted when feeding. She's grumpy in herself too. Does this sound like a typical reaction to the 1st set of jabs she had on Friday? On Thursday night we got all the way to 4am before she wanted a feed, and she was feeding really well. By Friday night she's back to her old tricks. We only got to 2am last night as she just seems off her food. Only had 4oz all day so far. ahhhhhhh. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere!