Page 6 | Is Winchester College is a good option for a shy child who's bullied at his current school?

niadainud · 26/08/2025 09:43

If it's termly boarding I would say a definite no.

Could you move to or nearer to Winchester so he can be a day pupil?

It may be excellent academically, but if the social side is taking a huge toll that will affect his ability to focus on studying. Also relationships with teachers and house staff are important when you board - how does he get on with adults?

I think boarding is challenging for anyone who isn't a natural extrovert, even if they are neuro-typical. So many rules to follow at literally every hour of the day.

6thformoptions · 26/08/2025 10:58

Micheldever · 29/05/2025 13:49

@PepperPotato I have a DS currently at Winchester. I can't comment on whether the school would be the right one for your DS, but I can tell something of our experience of the school.

Winchester has a reputation for suiting less extrovert quirky children, and based on our experience I think this is true. I've found that the pupils are respectful to each other and readily accommodate individual differences - whether someone is interesting to have a conversation with seems far more important to the pupils than whether someone is socially adept. DS claims "there are no extroverts at Winchester" - I'm sure this isn't strictly true, but I've certainly see very little rowdy behaviour. It's certainly a gentler environment by far than my older DS's day school, which for all its positives has a very alpha male culture.

I'm sure some bullying does occur because it does in every school, but it hasn't figured on DS's radar at all (either as direct experience or hearsay) - again in contrast to my older child's school. Sweeping generalisations that all boarding school pupils are bullied by other pupils and staff are just as unhelpful as sweeping generalisations that no bullying ever happens...

There seem to be quite a high proportion of ND pupils at Winchester. Of the ones I know personally, some seem to be thriving and others struggle more with communal life but seem happy to remain at the school. Group extracurricular activities are encouraged, but there are plenty of options for those who prefer more solitary pursuits. It seems to be regarded as pretty normal for pupils to prefer their own company at times. Social cliques don't seem to be a big thing - I get the impression from DS that the social mix is more fluid with boys hanging out with different people at different times depending on who is doing something that interests them. Social events with other schools are available but not compulsory, and there is no stigma associated with not attending. Accommodation is in large dorms for at least the first year or two, and after that it varies by house - for example in my DS's house boys are in shared twin rooms by Year 11 and single rooms in sixth form.

It's worth bearing in mind that in addition to the full weekend exeats (Friday lunchtime to Sunday evening) every 3 weeks, pupils can also go home during the day on Sundays, typically from late morning until 9.00pm. Most of the pupils who live close enough to the school do go home on Sundays, especially in the lower years - there is a big exodus by train for those living in London.

Although you need to accept the Winchester place now, unless the procedure has changed drastically since we went through it, you don't need to commit any serious money until the autumn of Year 8. So if your finances allow, one option would be to accept the place now and wait and see how your DS develops over the next year or so before making a final decision. In the meantime, I can recommend attending offer-holder events and Wykeham Day in the summer term to get a better feel for the school and the pupils. Please do feel free to DM me if there is anything else you'd like to know.

Having had a chance to read the thread in totality this is the wisest comment, from someone who knows the school.

OP please don't assume that because he is ND he can't handle boarding, it's a complete falsehood largely posted by people who have no experience of boarding. It obviously can't work for everyone, but please do listen to people who know the school and have experience of boarding rather than those who don't. As I said, many ND kids really like the structure and prefer it to the chop and change in a day school where they have to be ferried out to clubs in all directions or have multiple groups of new people to meet at each.

Silverlining20 · 26/08/2025 15:32

@Photonika Eton never publish them on results day but they do publish a complete breakdown subject by subject on their website later. Winchester used to do this but stopped last year, in the end the they put a general post on their website with no breakdown between A* / A and no subjects. DS was in that year, we saw what was coming and hired a tutor ,many students/ parents did not get the results they expecting. I presume they will do something similar this year eventually.

Most of the overseas boys all have tutors all the way through, DS’s room mate was very helpful with recommendations in year 12. We organised sessions on Sundays and stepped it up to DS’s free time at school.

The main problem at Winchester is lack of oversight, poor teaching in many subjects and a willingness to sweep things under the rug when it comes to bullying. It’s not an environment that I would recommend for the OP’s son.
They are also completely unwilling to engage when parents have concerns.
Pastoral care doesn’t exist in any real sense, if you’re very local as we are that helps. There seems to be a marked decrease in their grades since dropping the Pre U, a teacher at Winchester was caught after he leaked a paper to his students.They circulated it with other schools and the source was traced back to Winchester .They carried on with the PreU but it ended soon after.

TheCricketers · 26/08/2025 22:56

Silverlining20 · 25/08/2025 14:15

I think it’s obvious from her post that it’s he is not ok , I’m sure that you wouldn’t want to compound her pain and grief.

Actually no - it was ambiguous. And I think if you don’t want to be asked about something, MN threads are not the place to come and talk about it.

OneNoisyCat · 27/08/2025 12:31

@Silverlining20 I would say that it’s highly unlikely that Winchester will release detailed results again this year, it’s what you expect from Eton, Westminster and similar schools.They release detailed results each year, I like the transparency we get from Eton. This runs across the school.

Winchester’s answer to their disappointing results last year was to cut the number of A levels that boys/girls could take, their percentages will look better this year for this reason alone. We briefly considered Winchester but had concerns about the pastoral care and their relationship with parents. It has become less popular with parents from our prep in recent years, most don’t consider it.

whatisheupto · 06/09/2025 16:17

@PepperPotatoI wanted to add that you need to remember you are not just choosing for Y9. It will be his school when he is 16, 17 and 18 years old. He will have changed so much by then. Don't make a decision based on your 11 year old! Personally I would take the place. He'll never be away for more than 3 weeks at a time and the holidays are long and frequent. And you can see him every Sunday, plus matches, concerts etc. It sounds like he loves it, and that's a very important. I would stick with his choice.

Tobstar106 · 10/01/2026 15:23

Hi did you send your boy to Winchester ? Is is next year ??

Tobstar106 · 10/01/2026 15:37

I agree

KRD5 · 10/01/2026 19:21

You could ask to see information re to the formal complaint made to the school 2024-2025...

Newsenmum · 10/01/2026 19:23

If he’s so attached to you why are you looking at boarding schools 😭 there are so many fantastic day schools

Tobstar106 · 11/01/2026 16:35

Hi could you tell me what you mean please ?

Tobstar106 · 11/01/2026 17:00

PepperPotato · 28/05/2025 23:23

Hi all, my DS (age 11) has been offered a place at Winchester college for Year 9 entry in 2027. He has worked very hard for this and it is our top school but as the acceptance date approaches, I find myself worrying if he will become self reliant and confident enough to handle the challenges of Boarding school by the time he is 13. He is on the Autistic spectrum, is a rule follower and struggles to make friends. He's very attached to me and relies on our end of the school day conversations to make sense of the external world and his interpersonal interactions. I worry that other boys will take advantage of his trusting nature and play pranks on him that he cannot understand (it happens at his current London prep school) and that I won't be around to help him navigate whom to trust and whom to stay clear of. If anyone has/had neurodiverse children attending Winchester college, please can you help me by sharing your experiences? Thanks, I would really appreciate any helpful suggestions on how to make a decision.

Hi have you made a decision about sending your son to Winchester ?

Tobstar106 · 11/01/2026 17:12

PepperPotato · 29/05/2025 01:26

He did try out for academically challenging day schools like St Paul's (he did not enjoy the admissions process at all and we decided it was not for him), King's (he did not clear the interview), Reed's and St John's. I am keen on St John's for pastoral care & co-education for him as it was his second choice after Winchester and he said he had a very good interaction with his peers and interviewers. But it was always Winchester that he spoke about during the entire 11+ process so I didn't have the heart to discourage him. I tend to trust his instincts hence my indecision. I'll take your advice and have an honest chat with the admissions & boarding staff at Winchester about his needs. Thank you for helping me.

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My son is autistic and has adhd he has always wanted Winchester too!! He is already at boarding school and loves it there

Tobstar106 · 13/01/2026 12:41

PepperPotato · 28/05/2025 23:23

Hi all, my DS (age 11) has been offered a place at Winchester college for Year 9 entry in 2027. He has worked very hard for this and it is our top school but as the acceptance date approaches, I find myself worrying if he will become self reliant and confident enough to handle the challenges of Boarding school by the time he is 13. He is on the Autistic spectrum, is a rule follower and struggles to make friends. He's very attached to me and relies on our end of the school day conversations to make sense of the external world and his interpersonal interactions. I worry that other boys will take advantage of his trusting nature and play pranks on him that he cannot understand (it happens at his current London prep school) and that I won't be around to help him navigate whom to trust and whom to stay clear of. If anyone has/had neurodiverse children attending Winchester college, please can you help me by sharing your experiences? Thanks, I would really appreciate any helpful suggestions on how to make a decision.

Hi are you taking winchesters offer ?