Boarding for a less academic boy

[Whyisitalwaysraining1]

I’ve always liked the idea of giving my kids the option to board when they are old enough. I never boarded (went to a comprehensive) and neither did my husband so I’m wondering where to start.

My son is in year 3 but I know a lot of places select at 11 I think so I know this will come around soon enough and I’d like to get organised.

The thing is the prestigious boarding schools I’ve heard of, the likes of Marlbrough, Eton etc seem to be very academically selective and competitive. My son is a super nice kid but goes to a middle of the road prep school (didn’t get in anywhere very academic at 7+). He has some hobbies and plays sport but not to an elite level. Learns piano but is decidedly average.

Basically he’s an average, nice kid. Academically ok for his age but not above average in anything. Scholarships or anything will definitely be off the table as he doesn’t have any particular talents as of yet, and I’m fine not to hot house him as he’s a nice kid and happy enough.

Any ideas where might be a fit for boarding after common entrance age? Budget not really an issue, other sibling has SEN and would not board so there’s enough in the pot for him to go anywhere really.

Or he can just stay at a London day school and may still choose to, but I’d like for him to have the option

Try St Chris in Letchworth.

Think twice about boarding. If he's a lovely nice kid. Send him somewhere gentle. These places can be really brutal.

Yep applications are 10 or 11 which is a few years away but i would want to do research and visits before then

He’s lovely but he is high energy and very loud, can stand up for himself for sure. Nice in this context doesn’t mean shy or softly spoken.

Though point taken - ethos mega important anywhere. I wouldn’t want him in anywhere too tough.

Monkton Combe School near Bath definitely worth a look. Not overly academic but very supportive of all students in achieving maximum potential with lots of extracurricular activities available. It's also in a beautiful setting. I went there and I loved it.

Private school gives you all those opportunities, not just boarding school. Mind you. Maybe relationship with parents might be better!

Personally I would also prioritise a school where everyone is boarding. It makes for a better experience for the boarders that in if there are quite a lot of day pupils but obviously down to personal preference.

Seattle why are you loitering on a boarding thread? I’m feeling you aren’t a fan and it’s one of those “ get it or don’t get it” things.

i’d be happy to sacrifice deposits that’s fine to keep options open. It does seem weird to apply so young but i gather that’s the way of things 🤷🏼‍♀️

Poor OP, posting in the boarding school section for views on which boarding school and getting lots of anti boarding school posts.

I know its mn and people can post where they want but its not terribly helpful to the OP who is just exploring options.

The are plenty of brilliant boarding schools that would fit your criteria yet wouldn't require competitive entry. Move an hour out of London and so long as you can pay the fees and your child can pass the entrance test, then you'll get a place. I really wouldn't worry about it now, wait to see if boarding is actually right for you all then look at the options at that time.

Some great options down here in the South West if you don’t mind a bit of distance.

Truro School
Plymouth College
Wycliffe College
Dauntsey’s
Sherborne

Or St Edward’s (Teddy’s) in Oxford has a great reputation.

From what you’ve said about your son I’d avoid Millfield (too much emphasis on elite sports etc).

In which case why are you on the boarding school thread? There are zillions of other threads on here

It popped up in Active. There's was no great thought about it.

But generally however, I do find the topic/concept of sending dc away to board morbidly interesting. In the same way as I'd probably click on a thread about allowing a ten year old to do pole dancing sessions 'for the exercise' or sending a three month old to full time childcare for the 'socialisation'.

It's just so...odd. So at odds with normal family units and any research at all you could do on fostering positive and healthy child development. A totally alien concept to me that makes me go 'W.T.F' internally and peaks my interest.

Yeah but if we wait till it’s time it’ll be too late to apply as applications (seem to be) years in advance of when you’d take up a place.

Also for boarding we wouldn’t move? Moving out of london is an absolute no-no for various boring reasons (also we love london!)

I'd have a look at Bradfield. Not sure how selective it is these days but until recently it had a very friendly vibe. Good football school if that interests your son.

My kids go to state schools so I don't know too much about this but of their friends from primary school the unacademic ones went to Pangbourne College and Bradfield college and the middling to academic ones went to Abingdon school.

I have a lot of family and friends who would agree with you.

I also would have probably until I met a lot of people who went (as teenagers, not young kids) and uniformly loved it.

If the evidence says people who go tend to really get a lot out of it i figured it’s worth at least keeping as an option on the table x

Lots of them accept applications right up until just before the assessment, so you do have a while. But visiting is important so might as well crack on as that’s time consuming. Bradfield a good call for a personable all rounder from what I hear.

Yeah I feel like my parents would say this. I hated boarding (weekly) and used to cry myself to sleep every Sunday night. But they would say I loved it. I just felt I couldn’t tell then otherwise. Nearly all my boarding friends were the same.

If I was in your position op, I’d find a good school nearby that has day and boarding options, so he can be a day pupil but with the option to board if he really does want to. I was jealous of my friends who did flexi boarding and just boarded once or twice a week. If it’s a boarding school that’s too far away to be a day pupil, it’ll make it very hard for him to say he no longer wants to board!

Another vote for Sherborne here. A reasonable academic range and lots of opportunities to try different things. My DS wasn’t amazingly musically talented but had fantastic opportunities with the choir and the orchestras. Also he was able to try so many different sports and focus on one that he enjoyed. We were pleased with the academic and pastoral systems. The train makes it much easier too. Also it has mostly full boarders if that is what you are looking for.

I worked at a very prestigious boarding school for years. Excellent grades, sports, pastoral care, the works. Very few children were happy boarding initially. The ones whose parents lived close by even less so as they felt pushed out. They (virtually) all adapt sooner or later, but something changes in them to do so. They become more self reliant, and put a wall up. So in my experience there is a price to pay for the self assuredness that comes with boarders.

@Whyisitalwaysraining1 sorry, when I said move, I meant move your search out of London, not physically move house!

Few boarding schools in the UK are full, I can think of plenty round here where you could join at any stage with a few weeks notice.

People move from overseas all the time and manage to find spaces for their kids. Most schools will snap up boarders!

My son is in Year 3 at Monmouth. It's a great school for all rounders.

Ok you’re welcome to have an opinion on the mental wellbeing of a kid you have never met, and I have x

Oh and I went to boarding school and genuinely begged my parents to let me go. I loved it and would consider it for my kids from 13 if they were keen, but we won't be able to afford it!

Gotcha thanks and for sure - happy to cast net wide. Really just looking for a sense of what’s out there right now