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Boarding school

Connect with fellow parents of boarding school students on our supportive forum. Share experiences, tips, and insights.

Boarding Prep Recommendations

153 replies

Intoand · 09/09/2023 01:26

Due to various reasons relating to family and work it looks like we’re going to need to consider a boarding prep school for our children DS 10 and DD 8 likely for next year. It’s not an ideal situation but would like them to have a stable environment while things are changing.

I boarded during my secondary school years but not in prep so unfamiliar with what to consider. We will probably need a school that offers full time boarding but would possibly like them to weekly board when time allows. Children are currently at single sex schools which I like but I’m also open to coed.

From a little bit of online research what I’ve gathered is schools Cottesmore, Sandroyd, Dragon School, and Windlesham house seem to have a good amount of prep boarders but not sure how accurate this is. There also seems to be quite a few more all boys boarding prep like Ludgrove compared to all girls boarding preps (did find the all girls boarding school Hanford though and it looked lovely). Any recommendations or experience?

OP posts:
XelaM · 10/09/2023 01:41

Intoand · 10/09/2023 01:11

@wearedoingthis May I ask why you would avoid Cottesmore?

@XelaM Can I ask about how you found your nanny, is she very flexible? That’s the mainly what I’d be worried is that we’d require more flexibility than a nanny or two could provide as they’d need time off.

I’ll check out S Anselm's, Walhampton, Tring Park, and Junior kings thanks! Think Scotland would be too far though, will probably try to stay within a few hours of London.

She lived with us, so she was always there. She was brilliant, but it was pre-Brexit and she was from an EU country. I found her via a family friend but there are many au pair services you can use.

You would coordinate any holidays with your nanny.

CakesOfVersailles · 10/09/2023 13:31

Will your DS be going into year 6 or year 7? And what year for your DD?

If your DS is going into year 7, and he will be boarding for the long term not for 1-2 years, you might also look at senior schools that start at year 7 (or that have their own junior school attached).

There are a lot of very good boys prep schools, but you need to think about what you want. Some of them are kids aiming for the large 13+ school (e.g. Eton, Harrow). These children will have been on this path for quite a while, and will pre-test in year 6. So if you are joining in year 7, your son might be looking at different destinations schools compared to his classmates (not necessarily, and a good head will be able to advise). Some more traditional boys prep schools are Sunningdale, Cothill, Aysgarth (in the north), Woodcote House, Pappplewick etc.

Somewhere like Ludgrove is good in that all the children board together, but that school is fortnightly. For any school, check how many children board on a Saturday night. In particular, how many of your child's age and sex. Frankly "how many year 6 boys boarded last Saturday" is the sort of question you want to ask.

You are right that there are not many girls' boarding preps left, most junior girls who board are either at co-ed schools or in the junior boarding division at all-through schools. Some senior girls schools that have junior boarding provision include Godolphin (Salisbury), Badminton Junior, Thornton College, Adcote School or Royal Masonic School for Girls. These may not suit your requirements, I am just putting the idea out there. I don't have any experience of these particular schools. But also note that the number of boarders usually increases year-on-year in these types of schools, number can be very low at the junior end, especially at weekends.

Another all-through school with a junior boarding option is Moreton Hall, which starts boarding at year 3 and is co-ed in the prep school, and then girls only from year 9 in the senior school (that might change, the age of boys allowed there has been creeping up over the years). If you look at co-ed, all-through schools (meaning prep + senior), there are many, many options. But, for example, drill down on the numbers. Some of these schools will have thriving sixth forms or 13+ boarding, and will say they have 400 children board every weekend. Then by the time you look at, say, the girls junior house it turns out they have four girls in every weekend and only two in your daughter's year group.

Having said that, Hanford and Godstowe are both very good preps if you do want a girls' prep school rather than all-through.

If you are looking at full boarding to start and then weekly in the future, geography may become a significant consideration (the schools should be near your home, or somewhere you could happily move to, and if the children are at different schools, close enough that they can both come home at the weekends).

I'm not sure if you're a military family, but one tip I have is (whether you are or aren't one yourself), look at schools that take children from military families on Continuity of Education Allowance (CEA). These children are more likely to be English speaking full boarders, and the school will be used to providing proper full boarding. The MOD used to have a school finder website, I can't find it now but there is this directory that shows schools that take CEA pupils: https://www.directoryofboardingschools.co.uk/boarding-schools-2022

Co-ed preps I have heard good things about are Windlesham House, Hazelgrove, and Highfield and Brookham (the last one is the name of one school not two). However, I have not been much involved in the prep boarding world for a few years now, and schools can change enormously in a few years. I suggest once you have a shortlist, you should post threads with the school names in the title to get up-to-date information from parents.

For any school, look at the things that will really matter: pastoral care and safeguarding would be number 1. Really drill down on this - different schools have different policies and you may be surprised what bothers you. For example I have worked in a girls school where men were not allowed in boarding - for example both the matron and a gap student had to supervise the plumber who came to fix a shower. At the other end I have seen schools where the head of junior boarding was a man who had unsupervised care over young girls.

Speak to any parents you can. If you pick prep rather than all-through, leavers' destinations are very important - you want broad opportunities, year 9 will come faster than you know. Make sure you know the "pressure level" at the school. I have seen schools that publish weekly or fortnightly rankings of the class - alternately I have seen schools that won't even host an annual prize giving. And if your child has one or two hobbies they love, please pick a school that offers them - it's not like a day school where you can make it up in the evenings.

Check how the school functions - are girls and boys kept separate at co-ed preps? Are the sports options different - no point sending a cricket mad DD to a school where only boys are allowed on the team. No point sending your kids to a co-ed school to support each other if they are in separate houses and only see each from a distance. Also check on some things e.g. I have seen schools where the choir is almost entirely girls and this has put talented boys off. They may be better off in a school with less of a choir provision but a better boy/girl mix or boys only. Doesn't matter how good the choir is if your kid won't participate.

I would also say make back up plans. If your child comes home and says "Mum (or Dad) I can't do this, I thought I was ready but I'm not and I don't want to go back," - then you need to have something in place.

With your children it can sometimes feel like you have limited options - e.g. looking for junior all girls boarding for your DD. Don't fall into the trap of thinking this way. Junior boarding is a "buyer's market" as there are more options than children for all but the most exclusive schools. Finding the right school for each child is more important. You want to make sure that the child fits in well and loves it. Most schools will bite your arm off for a junior full boarder - make sure the school is right for your child.

Armed Forces Directory of Boarding Schools

https://www.directoryofboardingschools.co.uk/boarding-schools-2022

grass321 · 10/09/2023 13:42

I know a couple of co-ed prep boarding schools as a friend has worked there, but not more than that - Cheltenham College and Old Buckenham Hall.

I know a bit about Royal Masonic (RMS) as it's local to me and friends send their kids there. Amazing grounds but has its downsides too.

grass321 · 10/09/2023 13:45

In terms of boys only, we've played Caldicott at sport and I'd recommend it for the cakes alone...

Bobbybobbins · 10/09/2023 13:45

Definitely agree that co-Ed would be better so they are together if you do go for boarding. I would really look into a live in nanny though. They could still flexi board but also gave the option of coming home to their own space, someone familiar, each other.

wearedoingthis · 10/09/2023 14:55

Intoand · 10/09/2023 01:11

@wearedoingthis May I ask why you would avoid Cottesmore?

@XelaM Can I ask about how you found your nanny, is she very flexible? That’s the mainly what I’d be worried is that we’d require more flexibility than a nanny or two could provide as they’d need time off.

I’ll check out S Anselm's, Walhampton, Tring Park, and Junior kings thanks! Think Scotland would be too far though, will probably try to stay within a few hours of London.

I personally didn't feel it was a happy school and know people who have left due to feeling the same.

Intoand · 10/09/2023 17:20

@XelaM Thank you!

@CakesOfVersailles DS will be going into year 7 and DD will be going into year 5. And yes I have always been interested in them boarding at senior school, but imagined they'd be slightly older when they first started, but things change! All very helpful, I appreciate this a lot.

@wearedoingthis Interesting, thank you.

OP posts:
Intoand · 10/09/2023 17:23

@Bobbybobbins This is a good idea, easier for them to adjust, plus when holidays come around or weekends they could still help out.

OP posts:
gogomoto · 10/09/2023 17:36

Please don't. Under secondary age it's really damaging, Google the evidence, loads of public domain information. Also (anecdotal evidence admittedly) the kids I know personally who were sent at 8&9 are completely screwed up, they went because their parents divorced and dad went overseas, mum high flying job (think 9-9 working hours) one has been inpatient at a secure unit.

From 11 weekly boarding if managed well is good for some kids but not under. Look at the evidence

TheOccupier · 10/09/2023 19:26

Intoand · 10/09/2023 01:11

@wearedoingthis May I ask why you would avoid Cottesmore?

@XelaM Can I ask about how you found your nanny, is she very flexible? That’s the mainly what I’d be worried is that we’d require more flexibility than a nanny or two could provide as they’d need time off.

I’ll check out S Anselm's, Walhampton, Tring Park, and Junior kings thanks! Think Scotland would be too far though, will probably try to stay within a few hours of London.

For the cost of boarding school x 2 children you can absolutely hire a nanny/nannies to be in loco parents 24/7. Either weekday/weekend or week on/week off.

TimeforaGandT · 10/09/2023 19:40

Port Regis? Co-Ed….

3WildOnes · 10/09/2023 19:43

Walhampton and Hanford and both lovely boarding preps.

DottyDop · 10/09/2023 20:09

I would be researching any other option than having to board at such a young age. Like previous posters have said, a live-in-nanny would likely be a better (and cheaper) option. Even 11 is too young to board IMO, kids need at least one loving parent around to help form secure attachments, increasing the chance of a happy adulthood. Lots of research on this if you look.

yumyumscheeky · 11/09/2023 04:10

I went to Queen Ethelburga's in York. The pastoral care younger ones was truly fantastic and the facilities were great. It's co ed and plenty of fun excursions on the weekends.
This was of course a few years ago but I know others who are still in touch with the school and it still has a good reputation.
I went to other boarding schools in some school holidays for camp and none were as friendly and homely as QE.

Persephonegoddess · 11/09/2023 07:02

If you want them to stay together, how about Beachborough near Brackley. Only Mon-fri boarding but both could go for two years then move up.

GU24Mum · 11/09/2023 07:08

Have you looked at Highfield & Brookham in Liphook, Hants? We had some army family friends whose children boarded there while their parents were abroad so it definitely has some full boarding.

YukoandHiro · 11/09/2023 07:10

I realise I'm not the target person for this board but I just wanted to say like the other person that evidence for boarding under 13 has absolutely horrific outcomes in terms of lifelong mental health.

Whatever is going on at home a nanny in the location of the primary parent (even if that is moving) is going to be much, much better for them. And probably cheaper than two sets of boarding fees tbh.

Nam3chang384 · 11/09/2023 07:14

gogomoto · 10/09/2023 17:36

Please don't. Under secondary age it's really damaging, Google the evidence, loads of public domain information. Also (anecdotal evidence admittedly) the kids I know personally who were sent at 8&9 are completely screwed up, they went because their parents divorced and dad went overseas, mum high flying job (think 9-9 working hours) one has been inpatient at a secure unit.

From 11 weekly boarding if managed well is good for some kids but not under. Look at the evidence

My dad was sent to boarding school at a young age (7, I think) and it damaged him for life. His little brother did slightly better as he had my dad to look out for him and comfort him when he was crying at night for their parents but for my Dad it was horrendously scaring.

NeedingCoffee · 11/09/2023 07:18

OP, do bear in mind that the other boarders will likely have parents going to the matches, concerts, performances etc. If you’re not going to be able to it would be hugely helpful to have relatives / godparents who can, and that will impact your choice.
But like others, I think a live in nanny, perhaps with a housekeeper/assistant to cover days off, would be 200% preferable to full boarding at 8 and 10. Plus full boarding doesn’t cover you for at least 20 weeks of the year (holidays), nor compulsory exists, and your post implies you’d need reliable cover year round.

Temporaryname158 · 11/09/2023 18:00

You said but things change…..you are the adult in the family. You decide what changes happen. This isn’t something you can’t prevent. So many people on this board have told you that it isn’t good for them yet you gloss over this. You as the adult need to make some sacrifices be that career, role type etc to ensure you are available to parent your own children whilst they are still very young

BuffyFanForever · 12/09/2023 04:10

Packwood Haugh in Shropshire is worth a look. About 3 hours from London but has direct trains. Lovely rural setting and I think they have a fairly high percentage of full borders. Lots of military families where they are posted abroad. It’s part of Shrewsbury school now so a good feeder for there at senior level.

Blewitt · 14/09/2023 13:51

Sandroyd is very good for boarding, they are more or less all full boarders in Years 7 and 8, it is very much encouraged. Good boy girl ratio, lovely school, great facilities. Many board prior to that too and I expect there would be others full boarding at a younger age too. I know children there who are very happy, as are their parents with the school.

Loafie · 14/09/2023 14:00

gogomoto · 10/09/2023 17:36

Please don't. Under secondary age it's really damaging, Google the evidence, loads of public domain information. Also (anecdotal evidence admittedly) the kids I know personally who were sent at 8&9 are completely screwed up, they went because their parents divorced and dad went overseas, mum high flying job (think 9-9 working hours) one has been inpatient at a secure unit.

From 11 weekly boarding if managed well is good for some kids but not under. Look at the evidence

I want to type something that will just get deleted. It's just so cruel (I say that from a boarding school family).

Loafie · 14/09/2023 14:02

Nam3chang384 · 11/09/2023 07:14

My dad was sent to boarding school at a young age (7, I think) and it damaged him for life. His little brother did slightly better as he had my dad to look out for him and comfort him when he was crying at night for their parents but for my Dad it was horrendously scaring.

Same with my parents.

readingmakesmehappy · 14/09/2023 14:05

I boarded from 8 at the same school as my brothers. My old school doesn't do full boarding any more (the market for it was quite small) but we were very very happy there. You must go and look round the schools in person to get a feel for it.