Am I being a snowflake about this - name of a nursery that is similar to something I find offensive ?

[Putoffalot]

AIBU to not want to send my child (of a mixed heritage) to a childminder with a name that is very similar to something offensive (GW). It’s come up when searching and is the closest to my work but I can’t even contemplate contacting them as it’s too close to the name of an offensive item ?

OK - I’ll take the minority view and say I can see why the thought of a black child being at a nursery called Polliwogs wouldn’t make me feel comfortable.

It’s a bit like phrases that are harmless in some contexts like cheeky monkey or whatever become a bit loaded and insensitive.

YANBU. What a stupid name to call the place.

YANBU.

Anyone who opens a business thinks carefully about the name before hand and would easily make this connection.

Don’t expect the majority of Mumsnet who do not understand micro aggressions to understand. Go with your gut on this one

How do you feel about Tigger in Winnie the Pooh OP?

Thank God you don't live around here - there's a restaurant called Pulpo Negro....however would you cope with driving past?!!

YANBU, that's an awful name for a nursery.

This is the Etymology of the word: Etymology
alteration of Middle English polwygle, probably from pol poll + wiglen to wiggle
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pollywog
so it has nothing to do with the GW words.
it could also be symbolic of the children growing and maturing while in the setting.

I have asked for this to move to black mumsnetters section

I get it OP - I think it’s a poor choice of name (it has wog in it so understandable!). I think some of the posters here just love laying into someone of an evening.

You'd get some very different responses if you had posted this on the black mumsnetters board@Putoffalot

Not a snowflake's chance in hell would I send my mixed race daughter to a nursery called Pollywogs FFS.

I'm almost 50 and have never heard tadpoles called anything other than tadpoles. Who in their right mind doesn't instantly make the golliwog connection when reading the nursery name? It's a thinly veiled "fuck you" because it's so obviously offensive.

😂😂

I think you're getting a bit of flack here but while I am not offended I do think it's stupid to use Pollywog. Just use Tadpole.

Terrible name and I don’t think you’re being a snowflake, op.

It is pretty bizarre as nursery names go, I'll grant you!

This is a bit like that American YouTuber who got offended when she discovered the country ‘Montenegro’ 🤣 although tbf this one is slightly more understandable

Those aren’t real words though.

Very uncomfortable. Especially when you understand the racist origins of eenie, meenie and how catch a tigger was the n - word….

If you said that to me I would think you said GW, so on that basis yanbu.

I think your main concern should be the quality of care and staffing and facilities any childcare provider offers, children end up 'renaming' just about everything when they learn to speak (mispronunciation of my siblings' names has meant they've ended up with very unfortunate nicknames) so that very much gets taken with a pinch salt. Often children go to nursery/ childcare and go to Miss X's school or house rather than the name of the school. I genuinely think if it's a really good childcare provider you'd be crazy to rule it out because the name reminds you of something which other people may not even associate. A child might end up telling everyone their teacher is called miss {insert expletive} or their school anywhere because they can't say it. That might be far worse. My only concerns are the care provided and if my child works be happy somewhere.

Never heard of that word and would not have known it meant tadpoles.

I would have had the same reaction as you. Find it so strange the owner decided it was a good name.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable if that’s how it makes you feel. I imagine a lot of people posting on this thread are fortunate enough not to have dealt with racism (myself included) and so I suppose it’s perhaps hard to understand how a word like that may feel offensive even when used as part of another perfectly non-offensive and innocent word/ term. Many people won’t have firsthand experience of the word w** being used offensively and so it’s not going to conjure up a visceral reaction but if that’s what happens for you then that’s a valid reaction and if course it’s okay not to send your child there.

Not quite the same thing but I had to ask for a change at work because I was having to engage with a person with the (uncommon) name of my rapist, it was the first time I’d seen the name since the assault. Obviously it’s very unreasonable to expect that I shouldn’t ever have to deal with anyone with that name but I couldn’t help the reaction I had, it went much deeper than reason and was a gut reaction that I couldn’t deal with it. I am better able to cope with stuff like that now but would still avoid having to engage with people with the name of I could, for example if I had to employ a tradesperson one had his name I wouldn’t go with them regardless of how good reviews were because I would rather avoid having to think of my assault each time I see the name. If seeing the word polliwog will make you think of a racist term each time it’s reasonable to want to avoid it, even if the name is innocent and inoffensive the association you personally have with it obviously is not.

This is exactly it it’s those tiny little things you notice and that feeling you get when you just know. Then I start doubting myself thinking I’m imagining it or being a snowflake but then I remember how these thought processes just aren’t there for other people they go through their days and take things for granted we can’t. I just felt that instant I saw the name that feeling you get

You shouldn’t. White people need to understand!!! They’re part of the problem if they don’t, and especially if they don’t want to.

I’ve lived in New Zealand for half a century and never heard this word used in this way.

Yep. Unnecessary. There are plenty of other things the nursery could have been called, even though the one word has nothing to do with the other one.

It's also not exactly a very well-known word. I only knew it because it comes up (once) in the Frog and Toad early reader books. Particularly in that context, it seems like a very odd choice.