Threats made against my child, at the end of my tether

[Cozzadelsol]

This is going to be a long one, as I don't want to drip feed.

I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

My DS, who is 14, in year 10, got into an altercation in the playground with a year 8 boy in school. The boy barged him, was then swearing and being aggressive for absolutely no reason.

He kept following my DS around the playground in the end. My son took the boys' glasses off and told him to stop bothering him. He then gave the glasses back to him undamaged, and that was the end of their contact. He said he did this, as he didn't want to hit him as he was a younger, smaller boy. This has all been confirmed by the school.

My DS then starts being told by other children that the boys older brother (18) is coming to attack my child after school.

So he is allowed to leave school early to avoid this happening. I am only informed via the school app that any of this is happening. No phone call, nothing. I only picked the message up after my son was already home.

My child is then told by friends, that the brother, plus two of his friends, were waiting for him, armed with knives saying they had come to 'stab the n**ger up in the shopping precinct next to the school. They even grabbed another mixed-race child, thinking it was my son, who had to be defended by other children saying 'that's not him'

I obviously informed the police immediately, giving them all of the facts. The next day, i also informed them the school had spoken to pupils who all corroborated the incident in the shopping precinct.

That was on Thursday, and I have heard absolutely nothing from the police, I've called them numerous times, emailed, and heard nothing. When I spoke to 101 with the crime reference number, I was told they are very busy and someone will be out to interview you 'soon'

I am at my wits end, I haven't eaten or slept, my child has been ill with a fever all weekend, I don't know if this is stress related, he seems to be in dental about how he's feeling.

I just don't know where to turn.

I think he's torn, as he has good mates at school, but if he moves to a local school his out of schoolmates who go locally.

It's obviously the whole moving school in Yr 10 and the effect on his education. Although this is the first term of his options, he could probably catch up.

It's just a nightmare at the moment.

@Cozzadelsol I can imagine! You’ll find a solution that’s best for you and your son. Moving schools sounds like a viable option!

Sorry you are going throught this. I can't imagine the stress - it's the stuff of nightmares.

Irrespective of friends or what he wants his safety, rightly, is your paramount concern.
On that basis I would also look at an in-year move and aim for a school much closer to you or in the opposite direction while keeping pressure on in others areas. I also would not let him anywhere near that school.

It's true it's not an ideal time to move but worst case scenario if it does have an impact is he can resit a couple of gcses if needed. I know a few people who did this and I resat every AS level paper at alevel because I pissed about all year did not fully apply myself fully in lower sixth.

I hope things get better for you and your son.

When you have a meeting with the school, I recommend recording the meeting on your phone.
You won't be able to legally use it but if you make notes at the same time you will be able to use it to complete the minutes of the meeting.
For the discussion that you have make sure that it about your DS and how they are going to safeguard him and his rights. They won't tell you anything about the other pupil involved or what sanctions are in place.

Above all find and use the keywords like
Safeguarding.
Mental health and well being etc.

Make sure that if they take minutes that they send you a copy so you can review and amend them to make sure that your words are recorded and recorded in the way that you meant them went said.

I don’t have much to add, but my heart goes out to your family, I can’t imagine how your son is feeling. The police response is not at all surprising but I’m so sorry you haven’t been given more support. Have the school addressed this with the boys parents yet? I agree you should move schools.

Do you have access to a solicitor? My house insurance includes legal advice. Or you could look at legal aid - I know it is difficult to get but your son might be entitled to it.

Keep taking to the school, they have a duty of care to your DS and to the other pupils. I'm not sure what they can do, maybe warn parents that a group of racists adults attempted to attack a child.

Is there CCTV in the shopping precinct? The shops might want to ban the adults with knives.

Sorry I'm just rambling, not much I can really do except say I'm so sorry this is happening.

I'm so sorry you're going through this op, I can't imagine the levels of stress and pure fear you must be feeling. The school need to do something asap, they have a duty of care and responsibility for your son's safety attending school. Especially where the police don't seem to be moving very swiftly on this or helping much. I wonder if it's worth posting on the Education boards, the parents and also the staff boards? There must be teachers on there who have dealt with serious safeguarding situations, that could advise what the school should or could be doing? I know the older brother is 18 so his parents can't force anything on him, but the incident all started with the younger brother, so I think I'd be demanding the school bring the parents of the boy in for a meeting, unless there's a reason they're not allowed to do this? Sorry I can't offer any advice op, I'm just so sorry for you and your son

i hope all is well OP.

This is so awful - as well as his access to education, please also consider the trauma & impact this will be having on his mental health. Some (most!) of these schools really are something else

I hope you are doing OK, my son went through similar at 16, not racially motivated but threatened with being stabbed and then actually robbed at knifepoint by the person. It had a massive effect on him.mentally and I think contributed to him not co ti using in post 16 education. Thankfully he is doing fine now but I wanted to say that the police are rubbish unless you make a fuss.

I'd like an update too. Makes me think of Stephen Lawrence too, as the police officers seemed to not believe him