This may seem like a no-brainer but I'm torn.
We put our DC down at birth for a very exclusive prep school in central London ( the type celebs and royalty might push for- prefer not to name it, but suffice to say its seen as a Chelsea / Notting hill school) it has great academic reputation and sends pupils onto the most prestigious, selective private schools in the country. BUT its very very white, we certainly don't 'fit in' wealth wise.
Paying the fees will mean sacrifice, we have only one child so it's a case of goodbye nice holidays, nice restaurants out, luxury shopping, we've costed it all out.) They plan has always been a good prep school then a grammar or outstanding state academy ( We work in education and see the value of a mixed education like this, plus secondary private fees are much higher than prep!!)
DC has been offered a place for 4+ reception in 2023. Since putting DC name down, I've really gone off the idea. Partner is still keen and friends and family all agree its a very prestigious school and we are lucky to have a place. We'll have to sell up and move closer which given central London property prices means downsizing, losing our garden.
DC has been at a far more down to Earth private school in outer suburbs, much lower fees, no uber wealthy parents, working parents like us who may own their own but not mansions in central London. DC has been at school's pre-prep for over a year now and its an all through school till 18. It also has a good mix of black pupils. In league tables etc its not that high and does well compared to state schools across London, but certainly low compared to other private schools in London.
I'm really torn what to do and we have to make our minds up very soon, stay where we are at a school that's fine and has children that look like DC, or send DC to exclusive prep that's a gateway to premier league schools, but where DC will probably be only black child in class?
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All white exclusive school or mixed school ?
Doubtmyself · 12/09/2022 12:54
Gloschick · 12/09/2022 20:58
Stay where you are. They are going to feel so alienated. No one will look like them. Their friends will be chatting about their swimming pools and private yachts, and they will feel bad about inviting kids back to your humble home. If they are bright then they should be able to get into a really good secondary from their current prep (maybe you could top up with a bit of tutoring).
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Triffid1 · 12/09/2022 21:46
Stay. For all the reasons.mentioned but also because children from schools as exclusive as this don't go to grammar or state academy. So your dc will settle into this exclusive school (while definitely being the odd one out, not just because they look different but because they are less rich) and then they will have to start all over again somewhere else where everything will be completely different. Please don't do that.
Doubtmyself · 13/09/2022 10:47
Thanks for the replies. Lots to think about.
Partner is the driver on this. Partner convinced any racism and wealth envy would be a lot less intense at primary level, and I think that's why we think elite secondary wouldn't work- when these things will grow more intense. (Plus we'd need generous bursary to even contemplate it ) At senior school, we think it's more important to have at least a few friends that look like you and are similar background than primary - the benefits of the prep is prep for best schools and to give us options. Current school won't help with 7+ or 11 or 13+
In fairness I should add the school does have international families, when we met the head we saw a black member of staff as we were walking around, that said hello. We DID see about two black kids and about 3 Asian kids, so its not completely non-diverse. The grammar/outstanding academy route is taken by a few of the school's leavers, most head to selective day and boarding though.
I believe there are some parents like us ( both working, modest property, not multi- millionaires) at the school and the Head told us while ideally if we could move closer, there are parents who live a fair commute away, which of course would be hard with a 4 year old!
We have until Spring really to tell the school and pull out before becoming liable for Autumn fees !
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