All white exclusive school or mixed school ?

[Doubtmyself]

This may seem like a no-brainer but I'm torn.

We put our DC down at birth for a very exclusive prep school in central London ( the type celebs and royalty might push for- prefer not to name it, but suffice to say its seen as a Chelsea / Notting hill school) it has great academic reputation and sends pupils onto the most prestigious, selective private schools in the country. BUT its very very white, we certainly don't 'fit in' wealth wise.

Paying the fees will mean sacrifice, we have only one child so it's a case of goodbye nice holidays, nice restaurants out, luxury shopping, we've costed it all out.) They plan has always been a good prep school then a grammar or outstanding state academy ( We work in education and see the value of a mixed education like this, plus secondary private fees are much higher than prep!!)

DC has been offered a place for 4+ reception in 2023. Since putting DC name down, I've really gone off the idea. Partner is still keen and friends and family all agree its a very prestigious school and we are lucky to have a place. We'll have to sell up and move closer which given central London property prices means downsizing, losing our garden.

DC has been at a far more down to Earth private school in outer suburbs, much lower fees, no uber wealthy parents, working parents like us who may own their own but not mansions in central London. DC has been at school's pre-prep for over a year now and its an all through school till 18. It also has a good mix of black pupils. In league tables etc its not that high and does well compared to state schools across London, but certainly low compared to other private schools in London.

I'm really torn what to do and we have to make our minds up very soon, stay where we are at a school that's fine and has children that look like DC, or send DC to exclusive prep that's a gateway to premier league schools, but where DC will probably be only black child in class?

Once again just commenting and from a South Asian background. My niece is of half Iranian and Indian descent. Goes to a very white state primary school in an affluent area. Her mother is Indian and quite a bit darker than her daughter. My niece is getting a lot of comments from children along the lines of ‘why is your mum brown?’ ‘Ha ha you’re the only one with a brown mum?’ Etc etc. Causing my cousin-sister a lot of pressure as a single mum, trying to do the best by her daughter. In contrast my best friend sends her DC to the prep local to my cousin-sister and it’s very very ethnically diverse.

Thanks all and thanks @Lightsabre your advice is spot on.

I think my partner has all but come round to this way of thinking, why spend a lot more on fees when we can keep DC at a good diverse school, do some tutoring and see where we are at 7+.

The fees at the suburban school are very reasonable 4 to 7 compared to the central London prep.

The Prep school in central London isn't 'all white' in the literal sense - we did see a black teacher and a one or two brown faces on open day, and their website ( like them all) has close up of a happy black pupil, but it feels practically all white compared to DCs current suburban school. I think all those Knightsbridge / Kensington/ Notting Hill, , area preps feel like that, in fact apart from single sex all through private schools, we found not many private schools for primary school age are particularly diverse , but this changes in secondary.

We are even discussing state primary, I've persuaded partner to apply and our closest school is rated 'good' , and as I pointed out, if DC is gifted, and we apply for bursary place at 'top' independent school, coming from a state primary is pretty essential to stand a good chance of getting one.

Before you go State as someone who did State til 8 can I say there is a huge difference at 11+ between those kids that did State all the way through Primary and those who went to Prep.

I'm afraid it is a myth that there is a state school bias for bursaries or even offers. Some senior schools used to have a 10+ state school entry, but I'm not sure how many still have that option.

I know schools want great pupils, but I thought London private schools - I'm talking about the big schools like St Pauls, UCS, City of London and Westminster - recruited state school boys at 11+, Prep at 13+

All the schools above introduced 11+ precisely for state school entry (leaving the traditional prep school entry of 13+ in place) True you can enter at 11+ if you're from a top prep school at 11+ for all these schools, but offers would be contextualised anyway, no admissions panel is going to judge a state school boy with the same marks as a boy whose attended a top prep, that would be plain stupid.

Some schools gear 11+ entrance exams so that state primary kids aren't baised over prep school kids, they make that noise here in London anyway....

Gosh there is a lot of handwringing here. 🙄Bright children with committed parents will likely do well at any school, even - god forbid - a state school.

Perhaps you haven’t grasped that some things might be outside your experience, IrishMumInLondon2020?

Do you honestly believe that all the reasons that prompted the setting up of this board - where the OP has deliberately placed her question - can be magicked away with one rolled eye emoji from you? Embarrassing lack of awareness …

@IrishMumInLondon2020 So Kawsi Kartengen and David Lammy would both be MPs if they went to a normal state school?

You know social mobility has basically stopped don't you? Now add being black to that.

Hi, just wondering after reading this entire post, where you ended up?