Space Invaders

[EchoNan]

Not a TAAT. The issues are wider than that.

Yet again on here, I've seen the attempted derailing of a mother's thread about her child.

When we talk about challenges we have, ploppers turn up trying to close debates down.

This small part of MN came into being against much opposition. Huff and puff all they like, these eeijts are not going to blow our BMN house down.

I thought I'd post here for BMN to share views. Even when it's pointed out that here is a safe space, that it is Black Mumsnet, still we have deliberate attempts to undermine.

I haven't posted this in Site Stuff, for it to be swamped by other voices, I'm thinking. perhaps, have a discussion here first.

Should BMN not show up in "Active " for example? Or is that counter productive? Any other suggestions?

Thoughts welcome.

I think it has come to the point where that would be a good idea.

I’ve asked for my thread to be deleted, I don’t feel safe. I think perhaps a closed board only for “proven” allies. But I think I need to leave after this. It’s just not worth it.

Although it's annoying because new people would not be able to find us

@Lndnmummy

I’ve asked for my thread to be deleted, I don’t feel safe. I think perhaps a closed board only for “proven” allies. But I think I need to leave after this. It’s just not worth it.

Don't leave. Don't let the racist morons win

I left and came back. Because these pathetic people are not going to shut down Black voices.

I'm sorry you feel like that Lndnmummy but I understand. Big hug to you xxx

I was here at the beginning when Patrick started her requests for this forum and it was hard fought for. People frothing at the mouth because a Mum wants to talk about her child. How pathetic they are. No doubt sitting at home counting up their hoard of pink plasters.

And now we've got the "I'm black" virtual black face people.
As soon as you read what they say, you just KNOW they are not Black. Unless, Candace Owens has an account on here?

Mother of black child asks allies about a sensitive and triggering topic. A few days ago child was crushed when 3 of his idols were abused. Abused by for example being compared to monkeys. Parents of black child have to explain to child that some people in this country call brown and black people monkeys. Parents despite the trauma try to reassure child of the unreassurable. Child feels pain, hurt and distress. Child goes to school where racism is discussed. Uproar. Then a few days later an adult at the child’s school, an adult the child has been programmed to “trust” labels child a monkey. Mum tries to seek out a safe space to share this with people she thinks can relate. She doesn’t know them, but she knows they’ll have her back. She knows that they can feel her angst because it could have been their child.
Mother pleads with posters to please only contribute if they can relate. Repeatedly. It’s too big an ask.
It takes everything I’ve got to remain controlled. I just want to cry.

Please can you help me to report the thread. It’s vile, it needs removing. Thank you to all the kind replies.

I’m white. I also have a child with Sn. If I post in Sn topics I don’t want it derailed by people who have no idea what they are talking about. Mumsnet have fixed it so sn topics don’t show up in active.

But…. Be careful what you wish for. It’s now a ghost town over there as traffic doesn’t reach it.

@EchoNan

I left and came back. Because these pathetic people are not going to shut down Black voices.

I'm sorry you feel like that Lndnmummy but I understand. Big hug to you xxx

I was here at the beginning when Patrick started her requests for this forum and it was hard fought for. People frothing at the mouth because a Mum wants to talk about her child. How pathetic they are. No doubt sitting at home counting up their hoard of pink plasters.

And now we've got the "I'm black" virtual black face people.
As soon as you read what they say, you just KNOW they are not Black. Unless, Candace Owens has an account on here?

Oh damn, you just reminded me I screenshot a meme for just these kinds of posters but forgot to use it...

Here it is

@Lndnmummy

Mother of black child asks allies about a sensitive and triggering topic. A few days ago child was crushed when 3 of his idols were abused. Abused by for example being compared to monkeys. Parents of black child have to explain to child that some people in this country call brown and black people monkeys. Parents despite the trauma try to reassure child of the unreassurable. Child feels pain, hurt and distress. Child goes to school where racism is discussed. Uproar. Then a few days later an adult at the child’s school, an adult the child has been programmed to “trust” labels child a monkey. Mum tries to seek out a safe space to share this with people she thinks can relate. She doesn’t know them, but she knows they’ll have her back. She knows that they can feel her angst because it could have been their child. Mother pleads with posters to please only contribute if they can relate. Repeatedly. It’s too big an ask. It takes everything I’ve got to remain controlled. I just want to cry.

@Lndnmummy I hear you.

I've moved past sadness now. I'm fucking furious

@Fromwhenceshecame

I’m white. I also have a child with Sn. If I post in Sn topics I don’t want it derailed by people who have no idea what they are talking about. Mumsnet have fixed it so sn topics don’t show up in active.

But…. Be careful what you wish for. It’s now a ghost town over there as traffic doesn’t reach it.

Yes, this is my worry.

I quite often refresh MN by clicking on active threads and can go a while forgetting about this topic. I think it probably needs to stay visible and MN need to be stricter on the squatters. Maybe a warning and then a ban if they persist trolling a thread

It's some of the content on the thread that is vile, not your OP.
I've reported stuff on there Lndnmummy. Strong modding there too.

There were a lot of healthy challenges from Mumsnetters who aren'tregulars here on BMN. I've seen them on the wider boards.

There are lot of kind messages of support, even if you can't bear to look at it for the moment. See how you feel in the morning. I'm sure you're feelings will be respected by the moderators.

Hopefully. we will talk some more on here over the next few days and see how we feel going forward.

@HmmmmmmInteresting you were the squatter accuser🤣! I went over and over going “where did I say that?” When “one.of.them” called me out for being aggressive by using what was it? Ally!?

@HmmmmmmInteresting

Here it is

That meme is just how I see the posters getting angry at being referred to as squatters Lol! We've just got to post it next time Hmmmm

@Fromwhenceshecame
Thanks for your view there, yes I would be worried about that happening here. Is it hidden because of awful people landing there? If so, I'm lost for words tbh.

@EchoNan thank you for your comments too, I saw them. Why is it so hard to understand that a term of endearment for a white child is racist for a black one?
Reminds me of a senior colleague I had years ago when pregnant with my eldest. He called me “chubby” 3 times in the same meeting. With A smiley face. I reported him and he couldn’t understand that it was derogatory. He kept saying “but that’s what I called my wife for all three of her pregnancies. It’s a term of endearment” Ok - John, maybe for your WIFE. But I’m your work colleague who is 20yeEs your junior and you are part of senior management. It’s really really inappropriate. He just didn’t get it.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I only found this part of the site because it was in Active.

[quote Lndnmummy]@HmmmmmmInteresting you were the squatter accuser🤣! I went over and over going “where did I say that?” When “one.of.them” called me out for being aggressive by using what was it? Ally!?[/quote]
Haha, yes that would be me.

Depends if you want this space to be for support (for each other) or education (of others)

Maybe a hidden board for support (so less trolls) and an ongoing chat/aibu thread for offering/asking for education?

Im sad to see you feel insufficiently supported by MNHQ.
It shouldn’t be hard for them to follow up on reports and ban posters but I have often been deeply disappointed with what they will allow to stand

Why is it so hard to understand that a term of endearment for a white child is racist for a black one?

It's not. They like to be deliberately obtuse.

I'm white, found this thread on active, saw the other thread earlier and was just gobsmacked by the what aboutery etc. As another veteran of the SN threads I agree with a pp that posters being able to find the board is really important - and SN can often be a bit of a ghost town.

There is (or used to be?) a thing with the sex board that you had to have been an active user for 3 months before you could post there, which was designed to stop immediate trolls heading straight there. Might that help?

Solidarity. This board was hard fought for and we all should play our part to make it work. I will try to report more if I do see a thread that's going south.

@Lndnmummy People did get it though. so did the teachers who responded on there. They were the genuine people, who then got sneered at as " allies".

The little tag team of squatters. have had their accounts deleted.
They won't, or can't, step outside of their own narrow little world. So no point in explaining to them, because they don't want to be explained to.

I see them on the main boards with their little sneery remarks about being told " I'm not here to educate you" as though it's OUR fault they are grey matter challenged. and feel threatened if something is outside of their own experience.

Funny enough, your pregnant story reminded me of way back years ago, when I was eight months pregnant. A work colleague told me that she might be overweight, but at least she didn't look as bad as I did!

@NoYOUbekind

I'm white, found this thread on active, saw the other thread earlier and was just gobsmacked by the what aboutery etc. As another veteran of the SN threads I agree with a pp that posters being able to find the board is really important - and SN can often be a bit of a ghost town.

There is (or used to be?) a thing with the sex board that you had to have been an active user for 3 months before you could post there, which was designed to stop immediate trolls heading straight there. Might that help?

Solidarity. This board was hard fought for and we all should play our part to make it work. I will try to report more if I do see a thread that's going south.

That's an idea