To black people - what are you doing to ensure your black children GET PAID

[samosamo]

Dear Black Women,

I am thinking about things I can be doing now to prepare my children who are black, who look black, and who have names which suggest they are black, for life in this world as an adult needing to make money despite all of that.

Yes yes, maybe in 20 years the world will be a different place and their cvs won't be rejected because the name doesn't fit, but just in case?

What are your thoughts on ways to make money where they can be anonymous? I'm thinking about the stock market at the moment. They can go in and become traders very simply and they simply interface with some graphs on a screen. Being black, female, young, old, none of this matters it is truly a level playing field. But finance is my bias.

Can you think of anything else where background truly doesn't influence how well you can do?

I think exposure is very important from early on so yes to languages, music, art, sport - getting a sense of what your children enjoy and supporting that.

While I want my children to be financially independent I'd also like them to pursue something that lights their fire.

@JayDot500 - aural training is really important and can be started from very young, before kids even pick up an instrument. Kodaly etc is great and will strengthen your dcs' ability when they do start on instruments.

If you have an instrument shop near you perhaps you could consider, depending on your dcs' ages, rent an instrument for a short trial to see if they are interested. We did that with older dd, just left a tiny rented lying around to see what she'd do, moving on to something else if not interested. Turns out that she liked it. This approach is perhaps more difficult with wind, brass but it's a starting point.

I agree with @Rege, yes avoid the tiny independent schools, unless they are known for excellent pastoral care. One of the north London ones to avoid like the plague is St John's in Enfield. It is owner managed, by a husband and wife team, who have a reputation for open racism. Last year the school went viral for the wrong reason, they introduced a policy that Black girls could not have plaits / braids/extensions. The policy was withdrawn after a huge backlash. I heard from a reliable source that many Black families left, after one of the owners stated that Black people had "no class, and they had to prove themselves to her."

Queenswood's bursaries can be quite generous, but their scholarships typical come with very little money off.

@Soma Can't believe I'm hearing the name of St John's mentioned here again. I've heard so many negative reports about this school from random parents because we used to live in the surrounding area. One such parent took their 6yr old there for an assessment to join in year 3. Little girl, sat test, did group work etc etc. At the end of it, the head approached the parent and said to her, 'your DD did well in the test, and did the group activities well....but her face looks hard! we don't think she will be a good fit here'. Her mother when narrating this story was quite visibly shaken. I didn't know what to say, she was just a normal 6 yr old dc, but black.

@Rege , that's shocking, but I'm not surprised at all. I really don't know how it's remains open!

@Soma at first we were all shocked into silence and then we all just laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

To Rege's point about schools to approach - places like Eton, Harrow may seem daunting not least of all because of very high fees but they are accessible. Music is a very good way into these schools - we know 2 who have gone to these schools via this route on bursaries but there will be other routes in.

@Rege

And I bet the woman herself is ugly as sin. Her heart and soul are, whatever us on her racist old mug.

Ugh

Here's the page on bursaries at Eton. Also worth looking at the Scholarships page.

I can vouch for the fact that these things are completely accessible. (Stock up on optimism and organisational skills, though.)

It has frustrated me greatly, over years on MN, to see ambitious parents, burdened with too much humility, limit themselves to the very ordinary private day school at the end of the road when searching for bursaries ...

Great thread OP i'm learning so much!

I forgot another brilliant school that offers generous bursaries:
Christ's hospital, Horsham.

I haven’t RTFT but I this is what I am doing with my son:

• education but make sure I offer him extra education focusing on financial literacy, building businesses and tech.
• I started my own company and am in the process of a second one. And at 9 my son is already aware of how to set up a business and different ways to make money instead of a traditional job. He even says he will be working with me when he is older.
• My businesses primarily employ black people this is my way to counter act the racial bias they experience in today’s society.

A lot of companies these days are starting to create ‘Diversity and Inclusion’ goals and are tracking factors such as gender and race in their employees and hiring processes. The company I work for originally didn’t want to do this, but quickly realized that if goals are set they are more likely to get tracked and hit, rather than having a wishy-washy “we consider diversity and inclusion” statement without having the goals, data and actions to back up that statement. As your children start entering the world of employment, perhaps they could look at companies that have these types of goals and initiatives, so at least they know that the company is considering it. I say this as a white woman working in finance where I’ve had positive and negative discrimination based on gender. In an ideal world we’d all be employed based on merit, but we’re definitely not there yet. (Btw I’m not pretending that the experiences I’ve had are the same as racism. They’re not. Just thought the above might be helpful)

@Nitflux That's a fantastic piece of advice. Note taken.

@maggiethecat 'aural training' is a total new term for me, thank you! Gosh, I've grown up a little reading and participating in this thread .

Rege most people can,t afford them. (nice if you can.)

@NLisa
That is such a good reminder about financial literacy - I've heard it so often but have never really taken positive steps to introduce it to my dds but it is very telling that you are starting from a position of personal experience. Are there are any online resources that you would recommend that are particularly geared to children?

One dd shows particular interest in making money and produces bespoke graphic work which she makes money from via SM and I notice is now selling off her clothes via some app but I really just let her get on with it.

@JayDot500
You've probably been aiding your dc's musical development by singing, clapping with them, banging on instruments etc and it's good that you've identified that one seems musical so exploring that is a good thing (although not just with him but your other child too).

It's interesting, I was walking this evening with older dd who was telling me that a music teacher was telling them today about the importance of things like bouncing a young child on the knee and clapping with them and the significant differences in musical ability between those who did/didn't have these experiences by the time they started school.

We're all on a journey and I agree these threads are very useful.

@june2007
But I think that's what Rege and PoulePouletteEternellement have been trying to say - don't let the financial costs immediately rule out these schools. Look at the requirements of bursaries/scholarships and see if your child might stand at chance of qualifying.

For university, black dc do not have the privilege of swanning around at university for 3/4 yrs, finding themselves or studying the History of Art!

In the interests of balance, most white dc do not have that privilege either.

Re schools and Haileybury, I know a couple of people whose dc went there and from what I've heard, it has a good reputation.

I can't remember which threads I've said this on - but surely History of Art is arguably a far more urgent and important subject for black students than it is for others.

Just look at the results when other people dominate the narrative, and the artefacts, of African / Caribbean / South American / Pacific cultural history. Absolutely imperative that control is wrested from them and regained by those who actually own the heritage.

Great thread, really informative.

@maggiethecat I don’t know the age of your dds but I used the black business school materials for my son. (The black millionaires of tomorrow program) It’s very American so the things on real estate I haven’t done with him for instance because I found the American system very different from the European one and part of me thinks it’s a bit too early for that. It’s animated but not too childish. And my son understood it at 8, but I keep going over the principals with him.

He even started a small business at 8 selling cookies. Where he applied for a loan with the bank (mommy) as starting capital. Learned about interest ( in the end I didn’t charge any just told him he normally should). Profit, Oke I have a lot ( he made £95 in two days) am I going to reinvest, take the money and buy games, and don’t forget about the bank. When a friend asked if he could help too (he heard about the money) I explained employees with him and paying them a salary. And the concept of getting payed when others are working for you. We didn’t end up doing that in practice. (Wasn’t sure the boys mum would appreciate it)

And I keep on telling him it’s better to own a business than be an employee. But this is hard for him because in school and in older generations everything is geared towards do well in school so you can get a good job, making someone else rich with your labour.
In my house the mantra is:

• Do well in school, so you can start businesses, create employment, invest in passive income.

@nlisa how do you teach your child about having employees while also instilling 'it's best not to be an employee ?'

I agree with all you said and am doing similar with my children. Whenever they gets money from family we split into three: bill money (contribution to the house, usually pences, but something at least), pleasure money, and then money they use to make more money (investing).

@samosamo
I teach him there will always be people who are not able/willing/knowing how to be an business owner. But if you want to have the money, flexibility and power you need to be the owner.

But with being an owner comes responsibility of taking good care of the people you employ. And as a result they will make you money.

Not everybody is made to be an entrepreneur, but everybody can be an business owner.

I was told, apparently as a joke, that I should ensure my sons are very good at football and my daughter can sing....

@samosamo

And in my example: the other boy asking if he could work for my son. Is exactly what happens in real life. He did not know how to start a business he just wanted my son to tell him what to do and get paid. Without putting in his own money to buy supplies etc..