To black people - what are you doing to ensure your black children GET PAID

[samosamo]

Dear Black Women,

I am thinking about things I can be doing now to prepare my children who are black, who look black, and who have names which suggest they are black, for life in this world as an adult needing to make money despite all of that.

Yes yes, maybe in 20 years the world will be a different place and their cvs won't be rejected because the name doesn't fit, but just in case?

What are your thoughts on ways to make money where they can be anonymous? I'm thinking about the stock market at the moment. They can go in and become traders very simply and they simply interface with some graphs on a screen. Being black, female, young, old, none of this matters it is truly a level playing field. But finance is my bias.

Can you think of anything else where background truly doesn't influence how well you can do?

@Rege

It would be worth it to have a similar list of ‘top’ universities who if not diverse, at least are welcoming towards black students.

This changes frequently.

It also can be course and location-specific as lots of universities particularly ones in towns/cities have more than one campus.

I work as an engineering consultant in the construction industry and I feel its quite a diverse field. Studying engineering at university also had a real mix of ethnicities although I think this was made up more of overseas students when I went in the early 2000's. A lot of the professional bodies have/have had prominent members/chairs with obvious non western sounding names.

It's not paid as well as working in finance, but its a rewarding career for anyone interested in science or problem solving.

I have a black colleague who, as well as working with me, has a portfolio of houses he rents out. He earns more money from those than his day job. He deals mostly through a middleman as they're mostly in his home town, where he no longer lives, just mentioning as you ask for ways of remaining anonymous.

@RedMarauder, yes I couldn't agree with you more, it isn't my job to choose my DCs universities for them. It is my job to guide them. Also I think I said go for the best university possible.

But there are exceptions to the rule about high and low ranking universities. If for example, someone wanted to study 2D, 3D animation, game art, computer art, User Experience Design, the best ranked universities are Herftordshire, Arts University Bournemouth, Teeside, and Bournemouth. UWE is also great for some types of animations. These low rank universities are world recognised leaders in their field, and their graduates are highly sought after. However, if a DC is interested in law, etc then it's a different story. It would be nearly impossible to get a training contract without going to the right university and connections.

But there are exceptions to the rule about high and low ranking universities

Agreed. Many ex-poly’s are better at newer, “practical” or arts subjects.

Same applies to RG. RG is a marketing ploy and there are uni’s not RG who are globally ranked and with better connections for certain subjects.

All good comments re: Universities. It can get quite tricky when all the top universities happen to also be the least diverse, which, means you could be backed into a corner - choosing a university that is lower ranked than what you are capable of.

@soma @rege are there any resources you would recommend to help understand the independent sector? I went to (an excellent) state school and that would be my preference but I don’t have the choice here (north London). I think it’s practical things like understanding prep required for entrance (when to start etc) as well as how to choose a school and how to fund it (we wouldn’t get a bursary but £20k+ will be a stretch and I know there are financial products etc that help with that). Any light you can shed gratefully received 🙏🏾

MN itself has a very good Education section under which almost everything topic from how to prep to bursaries to opinions on individual schools can be found but in addition, you can look at sites dedicated to helping you find the right Indy such as The Good Schools guide. GSG offers you a profile of each independent school, although there are arguments that it’s biased but in my experience the profiles aren’t far off from the truth.

As far as specific prep is concerned, all the information regarding prep is usually found on the school’s own website and if unclear, do not hesitate to call admissions. You can also arrange individual appointments to visit the school (you don’t have to wait for open days, and they don’t charge for it) where you can have a one to one meeting to discuss with admissions and the school head (where possible) They are usually very, very, helpful and if still in doubt bring the name of the school to MN and between the many experienced posters here, you should be able to come to a decision about the right school. You can also do an MN search how to prep and you will find past threads with lots of very useful information.
If I think of anything else, I will post it.

@Misbeehived, @Rege is quite right that the Education section is very useful. The Eleven Plus Form has a section on Independent schools.

Also don't assume that you won't qualify for bursaries or scholarships. In some schools family income can be as high as £120k, and property value over a million and still qualify. It is always helpful to speak to the individual school bursars, they are very receptive. Some scholarships are not means tested at all, as I mentioned up thread, Channing offer a music scholarship of up to 50% off fees in Year 7 and it can be combined with another scholarship and bursaries. I know a DC who was awarded a 100% bursary, plus coach fees, lunch, and possibly trips. Another child was awarded a scholarship for being a practicing Catholic, which included all of the above, plus uniform to cover years 7 - 13.

If your interesting in boarding schools for Yr 7, 9 or sixth form, this is a useful link - intouniversity.org/boarding-schools-bursary-programme .

The things to remember are:
All independent schools want to use their bursary pots.
Prep schools have smaller bursary funds, so look at lots and ask questions.
Bursaries can be combined with scholarships.
It's possible to hold more than one scholarship at a time.
Older, bigger schools have more money to offer.
Cosy small independent schools are not always the best at senior level, unless child has SEN because lack of resources, staff and facilities.
Do not be embarrassed to ask questions, schools have heard it all before.
Some people complain the information needed for a bursary can be a bit over the top.
It is unlikely that other children and parents know who is in receipt of a bursary, but if they do, no one cares.

Make enquires early.

@rege and @soma. Thank you both. We’re a few years out from having to think about secondary but it’s my next “project” so I really do appreciate you responding. All the best

@Misbeehived one thing I forgot to add was you need to start all the above a few yrs ahead of prep/secondary school.

@rege thanks again for commenting. We’re still in year 2 but I’m sure it will soon come around!

@rege , such a sweet age. Schools can change a lot in four years or so, and I know some who've moved over to prep schools in Yr 4 / 5 to help with the senior school process. If you go down that route, and it's a through school to Yr 11 (16) / sixth form, they won't prep for the 11 plus, as the expectation is that you'll stay with them. This might be fine if you think the school suits your DC and family.

@Sweet age indeed What I should have explained is that some schools, especially the really selective ones e.g NLC,Wycombe Abbey look at the whole individual profile (so not just academics) e.g high attainment in music, drama, sport, ability to speak confidently about current affairs etc. These are things that take time to be nurtured from an early age. I've seen some parents who a yr before sitting entry exams, have decided to go for one of these schools and then realise their dc is too far behind to catch up e.g doesn't play any instrument or is a grade 2, not used to talking with adults. One parent panicked when the school asked the kids to bring a book they were currently reading (not school books) to interview. They confided that their dc doesn't really read and prefers to watch tv in their spare time, therefore didn't have a book they could take or talk about at the interview.

Yes, Yes, Yes to @Soma's advice about the benefit of choosing a prep school of a through school to avoid the whole entry exam stress, if that's what you want.

Anything to do with computer coding, developing etc should be a reasonably good industry to start training your child for if you want them to be anonymous.

I'm trying to prepare my DC for their future lives by giving them access to things I had as a child, as well as those I didn't.

I instilled a love of books from early, DS4 is starting reception in September, and can already read. He's got a large vocabulary because of this, so regularly gets chosen for school committees at his nursery (attached to a primary school), where he has to join groups of the older children and contribute.

You really can't beat a good education, though I'm torn on whether to send them private for a number of reasons. I went to a very good (state) religious school, and have done very well from it, so I'm aiming to do the same for my DC.

Lots of extra-curriculum activities is another way to get them experiencing life outside their immediate circle. I always played sports once schoolwork was done, got to travel all over the country representing my teams.

DH and I work in solid industries (IT and finance), and one thing we always try and do is bring as many of our young people through as we can for work experience, and use our networks to do the same. We also both mentor a number of individuals who are at various stages of their careers, but and pushing them on to do brilliant things. For older children (post uni), I'd recommend that they network on LinkedIn, contacting people who are in their field of interest. One of the guys I mentor secured my help that way, so it's worth a shot.

The things to remember are:
All independent schools want to use their bursary pots.
Prep schools have smaller bursary funds, so look at lots and ask questions.
Bursaries can be combined with scholarships.
It's possible to hold more than one scholarship at a time.
Older, bigger schools have more money to offer.
Cosy small independent schools are not always the best at senior level, unless child has SEN because lack of resources, staff and facilities.
Do not be embarrassed to ask questions, schools have heard it all before.

This is all so worth repeating. (So I have.)

Also, specifically, boarding schools (traditional, full boarding schools / public schools) have the most money and are extremely keen to to offer it to the widest possible range of children.

It is perfectly possible to be awarded 100% bursaries (or a combination of scholarship and bursary) at the mist highly regarded prep and public schools. Your child doesn't need to be a genius - clever, curious and personable is a good start. Essentially the sort of child teachers would enjoy teaching.

Absolutely horrifying (sorry) to read about the parent whose child wasn't able to produce a book to take to interview. It's a completely standard part of an application process. And not reading with your child if you are capable of doing so should probably be criminalised.

Thank you all,

This has been really useful. I actually have my children doing lots of extracurricular activities at least partly with a eye to private /selective schools admissions criteria and scholarships.

Can i ask again - how are you encouraging the learning of foreign languages you do not speak at home yourself? I'm not a polyglot and I don't want that for my children (they do speak bits of an African language at home with their dad and getting better all the time).

I'm not in the uk. I have adult offspring.
All three reckon they are still basing their IT ability, one does a lot of coding, on an online thing called neopets, maybe 15 years ago? Coding club, music, chess, dance, drama, sports, whatever they like to boost confidence. But definitely coding and computer use. It also means parents have a wider social circle.
Sesame Street is great for literacy and numeracy, without confusing school methods.
And university... people tend to be best at what they like. My three kids did totally different subjects, one at an old poly. All did work experience as part of it. This can act as a prolonged job interview, if a person chooses to work hard. One did a masters abroad. Arts courses often lack this.
Being bilingual is good brain training! Especially in two completely different languages.

@samosamo re learning another language, the most successful method I've seen is by going to Saturday school in said language, and reinforcement at home. I've also had friends who learnt a language with their children either in a small group or one to one tutoring. Apps are useful for helping with vocab, and writing.

Any advice re DC learning an instrument? Is it worth the time investment alongside a language? With the exception of my grandad and his steel pan, I can't think of anyone else in my family who plays an instrument.

On MN threads, the lessons/practice seem quite time intensive, and there's often a wall to climb when the DC's motivation wanes, as with sports/language classes too I'm sure. The children who are good enough can secure music scholarships, but it seems a stretch.

@soma

Yes, I'm currently learning the African language w my children and will likely need to recollect and go back to learning another one. Probably Spanish is easiest. I'm terrible aren't I?!

Maybe I should just get a Chinese speaking nanny

I'm kidding, I'm not the nanny type, I'm weird about privacy and my own space, though I truly think that's likely the best way!

My dc unfortunately only speak English whilst I’m bilingual. I asked a few mums once how their dc came to be fluent in another when they themselves didn’t speak it? Their answer was that they holiday frequently in that particular country (France), during that time they encouraged the dc to practise their language skills by conversing with the locals - going into shops, visiting markets etc. Clever idea I thought. One such dc went off for summer hols with very very basic French (think counting numbers, and ‘my name is’), came back after 6 weeks so improved he was moved to French scholarship class. Others hired an au pair who spoke either French or Spanish, although this could present difficulties as the au pairs usually want to learn English from the children.

I think learning an instrument is a fabulous idea. I did a lot of extracurricular activities, played sport and learnt an instrument. I also speak a few languages. I think these things help with confidence, development, socializing and and do look good on an application for uni.

I learnt French at school but it didn't stick as I didn't do full immersion like the other languages and probably the interest was not there. I will say learning an instrument (actually 2, I always discount the African instrument I play) helped my memory retention skills and improved my focus.

There is a danger of doing too much. I had a full schedule all through Year 7 to 6th form, finishing at 5pm, dinner at 5:45 and then often having some concert, game or activity to attend a few times a month. I personally loved it and it taught me to schedule well, but it was full on. My siblings had a much less demanding schedule and have done amazingly well, so the Child must be comfortable and enjoy the activities. I hated ballet, and turned down horse riding (having a big bum and teasing from the other girls).

Yes. I've done this when they've gone to Africa, was there for two months and sent them to school (!)

I discussed doing this in Europe with my OH only this week. Somehow need them to mix with kids and then hey presto!!!

I said nanny because I remember living in US and some of my white friends out there spoke Spanish v well. They said they learned from their nannies.

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt

And now you realise your bum probably looked great!!!

Recall watching the 2012:Olympics and learning that most of the GB had attended private school. They just got to try so much. We were great at sports in our comp but who had the money for an amazing bike, or swimming lessons 5 days a week on a squad, or yeah, equestrian sports. We could only excel, really, at sports that cost little to nothing - run in a straight line for 200 metres, kick a round ball into a huge net... of course we smash those events. We'd smash then all if we had the resource.