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Black Mumsnetters

This board exists primarily for the use of Black Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Original poster

shadeism

119 replies

allinadaystwerk · 25/09/2020 20:27

Before I start, have to say I am so happy to find this section. Thank you to the pioneers who fought for it.

Now to the point of my thread, What are your experiences or opinions on shadeism? Does it exist and to what extent?

I think it does exist and I hate it. As a light skinned woman I have seen and heard it happen to people with dark skin. I always challenge it and I am hopeful it will change.

So is there such a thing as 'light' privilege?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ZazaForNow · 03/10/2020 11:00

Nilotes are dark skinned and beautiful and get preference over many light skinned...

ZazaForNow · 03/10/2020 11:01

Shadeism is a thing in America not elsewhere...

RedMarauder · 03/10/2020 12:53

@ZazaForNow it exists in the UK.

I found out when I was 11 when my mum got into an argument with another black woman. The black woman suddenly made reference to my mum's skin colour being lighter than hers and about how one of her own grandfather's was white.

I was like WTF! Mainly because people in my own extended family vary a lot in shade.

I then had more of that shit when I was a teenager were some black boys made it clear they only liked girls who were much lighter-skinned than them. Funny thing is the black boys I grew up with came from families like mine.

Later when I went natural and some of my family members also when natural/grew their hair longer we got shit on how our hair curled. One of my cousins' and one of my nephews' got loads more shit as obviously larger curls can't be natural on darker-skinned peopleHmm

C130 · 03/10/2020 13:49

@ZazaForNow

Shadeism is a thing in America not elsewhere...
Would you care to say why you believe this to be true? Colourism is global.
maggiethecat · 03/10/2020 14:38

@Zazafornow - not sure why you would assert that.

Shadeism probably exists wherever there are black people and is often baggage from colonialism where whiteness is still perceived as better.
Whether it be skin whiteners in parts of Africa, or the reggae lyrics espousing the virtue of the ‘browning’ shadeism is very real and prevalent.
@JayDot500 - I have a similar racial heritage to yours and I remember growing up feeling inferior to more “pure bred” Chinese cousins and having comments about skin colour and hair texture thrown about. This thread has reminded me of references to good/bad hair. I have friends who get comments like “you’re so pretty... for a dark girl”. And one friend recounts her dad telling her that in his youth his friends and family advised him to marry a fair skinned person if he wanted to advance in life.
You’d like to think these are outdated views but sadly they aren’t.

creativecringe · 03/10/2020 15:11

@Zara it's amazing when people speak with ignorance. Try being black or nilotic studying in a British school.

creativecringe · 03/10/2020 15:13

Go and read up on why Nellarose became a racist too. She was very typical of the girls I went to school with.

ZazaForNow · 03/10/2020 20:42

Maybe i shouldn't have made silly comments and just plain asked what is the point of this thread? To make us dark skinned feel awful? I think its just vile

ZazaForNow · 03/10/2020 20:46

I know plenty who have and arent bothered by 'shadeism'. I have never met anyone who takes time out to think of different shades of blackness to the point of creating a potentially divisive thread. Maybe im naive...Wink

ZazaForNow · 03/10/2020 20:50

I know plenty of nilotes who live and work in the small england towns, none has made a reference of being pushed down the ladder because their shade is different to another

creativecringe · 03/10/2020 21:16

@Zaza the point of the thread is about colourism. Most of the time white people dont care about the different shades. If a racist wants to be racist, they will not care about the shade of blackness most of the time.

The biggest problem regarding skin colour/shade of blackness is with black people. It's away in which black people divide themselves in closeness to whiteness. Racism perpetuate this.

I do apologies if I came across as rude. It's not nice being boiled by other black people and then have another black person come and deny the existence of it because a white person in the home county prefers the darkest skin tone.

EchoCardioGran · 04/10/2020 01:42

Zaza I have seen it many times in several cities in the UK.
I share the experiences of Shadeism on this board.
Nella Rose apologised for her anti black tweets, they were disgraceful and included.
‘These times when you’re on a bus full of Somalians and it sounds like a fish mongers market.
Why do black girls wear blusher? Like… who you tryna fool,’
White girls wear weave. Black girls abuse it

I've heard comment like that, and seen much worse behaviour, based on the shade of people's skin.

ZazaForNow · 04/10/2020 06:10

The biggest problem regarding skin colour/shade of blackness is with black people. It's away in which black people divide themselves in closeness to whiteness. Racism perpetuate this what is the purpose of this comment? To teach? To bring awareness? What?

My point is shadeism exists but its not a big thing thing like you want to make it out to be. Stop being divisive!

"Nella rose" and a " white person in the home county prefers the darkest skin tone" are isolated cases.
How many people do you know of who didn't get a job because they are a tone darker?

Stop being divisive !

creativecringe · 04/10/2020 07:09

@Zaza what is the point of bleaching creams? Do they make people white or closer to whiteness or the standard of beauty? I know lots of south Sudanese people who bleach.

The whole point of the thread is to talk about it's existence and why, if it still happens.

Denying problems will not make it go away.
Female Nilotics being abused in south of France is another issues. It's a huge business in the modeling industry for boating trips and fetisation of the skin tone. (Well that's thread for another day)

creativecringe · 04/10/2020 07:24

I wish Nellarose was an isolated case but there are lots of black people like her. (From her apology, she said she only did the abuse because she was also being abused for her skin colour. Not by white people but by other black people).

The word bleak in the UK does not come out thin air. I have never heard a white person use the word bleak. It has alway been black people in regards to other black people.

JayDot500 · 04/10/2020 07:32

My point is shadeism exists but its not a big thing thing like you want to make it out to be. Stop being divisive!

Not a big thing in your world doesn't bring cause to silence the debate. Colourism is already divisive, as evidenced by some experiences on this thread.

As a mother of two black sons I cannot afford to ignore it. I won't ignore it. I'm tired of the backwards attitudes that I grew up around, yet also benefitted from once I was old enough to be desired. I've been made aware of some cultures where colourism is a smaller issue, but the UK black community ain't it. This debate is definitely having a positive impact on our collective thinking. Our wider and more specific communities are slowly, finally, rejecting the stubborn remnants of colonialism, so why be silent now?

skedaddIe · 04/10/2020 08:05

@ZazaForNow

I know plenty of nilotes who live and work in the small england towns, none has made a reference of being pushed down the ladder because their shade is different to another
Wow was this really really an 'I know black people' post. Hmm

This is why I hate 'kitchen table talk' out in public. Black and mixed race people do not 'obsess' over colourism, but it is part of our history and our present lives. Everything black people have said upthread is real and not exaggerated. I don't expect people who haven't lived the black context or without true empathy to appreciate that.

Now this thread is gonna keep getting bumped by the AIBU crew and their lame NC. 2 things they love most is negativity and feeling superior. This thread gives them opportunity for both.

And I'm still salty that this is a thread about colourism and not shade. I had my tea and I was ready to be entertained...

JayDot500 · 04/10/2020 08:11

And I'm still salty that this is a thread about colourism and not shade. I had my tea and I was ready to be entertained...

🤣🤣🤣🤣

ZazaForNow · 04/10/2020 08:35

As a mother of two black sons I cannot afford to ignore it. I won't ignore it. I'm tired of the backwards attitudes that I grew up around, yet also benefitted from once I was old enough to be desired
is it possible for a mother of black sons to benefit from colorism? Shouldn't a mother of black sons be black as well? Jaydot are you a troll?

ZazaForNow · 04/10/2020 08:42

This is why I hate 'kitchen table talk' out in public. Black and mixed race people do not 'obsess' over colourism, but it is part of our history and our present lives. so what is the point of this thread if we dont obsess over it except wanting to gaslight darkskins? STOP!

Everything black people have said upthread is real and not exaggerated. I don't expect people who haven't lived the black context or without true empathy to appreciate that. fyi im black

creativecringe · 04/10/2020 08:51

@Zaza the black kids at my school were black too. It never stopped the colourism.

ZazaForNow · 04/10/2020 08:53

Every non-white person has and will continue to experience discrimination regardless of their shade of skin colour

Discrimination has no degrees. Its depth hurts dark skinned or light skinned equally. So maybe you stop with your kitchen table chats

This is the most pointless discussion i have ever seen. Not sure why i am even involved in it.
Let me go and bask in the glorious sun outside. IamOut!

JayDot500 · 04/10/2020 09:08

is it possible for a mother of black sons to benefit from colorism? Shouldn't a mother of black sons be black as well? Jaydot are you a troll?

I'm not a troll, but I think you've just demonstrated why the black community needs to have this conversation.

It seems you have a pretty narrow view of blackness. Are you black? Do you feel 'more black' than me, which is why you responded? Well, that's what this entire topic of colourism is about, no? Perhaps if you engaged with the debate from a more reasonable platform, you'd make your point better and we all could learn something from you. But that's not about to happen if you only intend to be abrasive.

ZazaForNow · 04/10/2020 09:11

Btw britain has proven that shadeism doesn't really exist many times by the poor treatment a certain american lady has experienced and many other who look like her! Im annoyed that i even have to mention this to prove that europeans have no true sense of colourism, so your thread was just to troll and gaslight darkskins with your fake concern

creativecringe · 04/10/2020 09:12

@Zaza what where you hoping to get from this thread? That it was a fig of the imagination and only an American invention (said every racist on mn who thinks the UK has no race issue).

I am confused by what you want from the thread. It's definitely not to solve the problem, you can only solve issues if you believe their is a problem.