The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

cunty "kid will be a-kip upstairs". Oh dear.

Thanks fanjoid. You're not trying to tell me you had a bin lid fastened to your nork for 4 hours between 6 and 10 EVERY NIGHT though are you? Are you?

Er, um, well....

Look! Over there! A dancing penguin!

Crikey

I'm clinging onto the hope that since Hom and I would both sleep round the clock twice given half a chance, these genes may have transferred...

I'm sure that is how it works Cunty - TG and I both have huge sleep requirements, and Boo has obviously inherited that from us. As a newboprn she would sleep for about 18-20 hrs every day, rarely cried and even now at almost 3, she still has a two hour 'nap' every afternoon. I just hope the next one does the same. (There are so many people hoping we get a devil child next, plz to no-one else join them. )

eek!

Fanny can I get a refund now pleeeze?

Didn't mean to frighten you. There's loads more good bits where you're just staring at your baby totally enraptured. Even with everything I described above the amazing stuff far outweighs the other stuff by at least a factor of a million.

Remember, there's several of us doing it more than once. That's got to tell you something. So fret not. Just be a leetle bit prepared for the biggest life change you've ever experienced, that's all.

I iz just in from a night out with the girls. All bar 2 have kids and one who doesn't is seriously broody. They offered to do me a baby shower, I haz declined because I iz British and we don't do that. Instead we've settled on "wetting the baby's head" in Amsterdam instead. I've had a couple of margaritas and all is good with the world.

I iz not getting baby monitors because we're in a flat - it's a case of leaving doors open - I understand those of you living in "halls" or "manors" may not be able to hear up in the East Wing...

Perhaps you are right - the housekeeper will inform me when there is a disturbance in the nursery

Staff aren't supposed to talk dear, they may communicate via your butler when the Gordonstoun fees are due. Until that time you're not to be bothered.

OK, as far as the Moses basket goes - John Lewis, 29 quid - job's a good-un. It's won awards apparently - but never mind that, it's 29 quid and you've got a JL in town and it's light enough to carry home on the bus if need's be. We've not bought a cot yet because Julian isn't going to need it until he starts growing out of the Moses basket - xmas-ish?

What do you all have planned for this beautiful weekend then?

Sorry, first timers, and don't run away FP, but what FP has described is not unusual. I had DD strapped to my front for hours and hours and hours of every day and night to start with, but somehow it didn't really seem to bother me. I kept getting people telling me to put her down and let her cry, but why they fuck would I want to do that? I find that between 6 and 10pm I is mostly watching telly anyway, so what? I broke the rules too, and when DD wanted to feed in the night I plonked her in bed with me and let her get on with it while I dozed. I can't see the point in getting up and going into a different room to BF when I can do it semi-asleep from the comfort of my own bed!

Bad mother point number 2; I was given an old baby monitor by a friend, and only ever used it for when I was taking the horses to the field . The rest of the time our house is so tiny I could hear her fart from one end of it to the other (you will not believe how loud a baby that size can fart though!)

Best friend and I celebrated her brand-new-diffedness with a bottle of chanpagne and OH's lovely homemade pizza with a liver and brie topping. (Actually, that would have been disgusting even by PESH standards, so we had ham and mozarella instead.) I think she is a bit 'brand new' atm, but I will perhaps persuade her to join us later on.

Backinthebox I'm liking your style and with you on everything except the pizza toppings.

Off to have much needed pedicure and wax. Taking own secateurs for removal of hard skin. That could also apply to wax actually. Not sure why the fk I'm bothering with that bit but given that everything else has gone out the window am maintaining a semblance of giving a shit.

Bon weekend, hope the sun is shining where you are cos it sure as hell isn't here!!!

This weekend's entertainment unfolding as we speak:
Thread about 'Christian Mumsnet' WTF?!

Some naughty MNers have already joined and are now madly starting threads about BUMSEX!!

Disclaimer: I thought there were already lots of christian's on 'regular' MN, and the ones I know seem quite normal and have no need to start their own site.

Apostrophe disaster! christians !!

Have looked at website. Hardly seems Christian to me!!

Am hungry and house is empty.

Raining here and was only sposed to be showers but has been raining for an hour!! Horse is out naked- oops!

Going to send the butler out for foodage and then ponder catch up tv then must walk dog and consider heading to see wet horse.

Any more progress on next weeks meet up?

Iggs yes good for keeping steak bakes warm or bottles of water if ff.

Ski mini C was out of his Moses basket at 11 weeks, just was too big for it and was transferred to cot. We are hardly tall either!

And I third what fanny and box say about the 6-10pm cluster feeding. I recall it was about every 2 hrs in the evening to tank him up and he would sleep routinely from 10pm until about 4 or 5am meaning I only had to get up once in the night. I did this pretty much as soon as we got back from hospital and I take the constant evening feeding over getting up twice in the night any day! I also think this is a great benefit of breastfeeding as apparently "you can't overfeed an breastfed baby". We "got our evenings back" at about 7 weeks and he would go to bed around 7, have a big feed around 10.30 and that would see him through to about 4-5am initially then eventually through to about 6.30. Fingers crossed the next one will be the same.

I could not live without our monitor. I use it to communicate upstairs/downstairs to Mr C to bring me things. Also, tres tres handy for when staying away somewhere so you don't have to keeping popping in to check on sleeping baybee.

boxer I totally agree with your concept of baby care and having a vast experience in what is "mad" - I think it's mental to stick a baby in another room to cry itself to sleep. My dogs wouldn't do that to their pups!

It's gorgeous here, early 20s, sunny - going to the stables with the girls tomorrow.

Silver Your hoss melts in rain?

Ou est les carrottes? Perhaps she had her baybee in the aisle of a Cessna like what we predicted?

Rots is on holiday, non?

ski Agree with okie. DD was out of moses basket at 3 mths as it was just too small.

silver Well the site doesn't look very christian now. First thing this morning it was an earnest little website with three members, and all threads appeared to have been started by the site owner. Then a pile of naughty Mumsnetters trolled over there, joined up with names like BeaLZBub, and started all the threads about bumsex, penis love, and logo theft. Talk about complete destruction of a website in a few hours! But perfect entertainment for me, stuck here on the sofa watching it all unfold and snorting drinks over my keyboard.

Wrt horse - it's only warmish rain, surely? Is he a bit delicate?

okie She is, she went to Russia for her brother's wedding but I thought she was due back this weekend.

3 months? eek, I thought they'd last longer than that - still, we know which cot we want.

okie Your little one sleeping from 10-5ish sounds perfect for my routine - it's pretty much mine too!

Fanny surely the site is guilty of logo theft though?