Due SEPTEMBER thread 11 - nearly there!

[pooka]

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Good Morning Ladies! Haven't posted for ages, as have been working off site in a vendor's office, but have been lurking periodically to see what's happening - you've all been very chatty!!

I had a rather traumatic afternoon yesterday - had to go to Croydon to get my spouse visa renewed. Appointment was at 3:30pm, had to be there at 3pm. Finally got seen at 7:05pm, and I think that was only because I started crying and couldn't stop at about 6:55pm - they were calling the appointment numbers out in random order, so you couldn't tell if yours was coming up, and if you weren't there when they called your number, you missed out, so I couldn't go to the loo for 4 hours!!! Not good for someone who's 32 +4 pregnant! And the seats were incredibly uncomfortable (metal, no padding), so was beside myself by the time I fell to pieces. Think the poor blokes behind the perspex who were processing the applications were wondering what the hell was going on. Was having a real panic, as they had notices up saying that it was a 2 hour wait after they had first taken your documents, so had visions of getting home about 11pm. Luckily they managed to get the whole thing done and dusted in 15 minutes (which makes me wonder why they have a 2 hour processing time...). And I paid £500 for this great service . To top it off, got home and there was a letter from the hospital saying that they had mislabelled one of my blood tests, and could I please go in for some more. Just had to laugh otherwise I would have started crying again...

On a more cheerful note, just found out from payroll that I have 12 days of annual leave left, which means that my last day of work will be the 23rd August - just over 2 weeks away!! Think my manager will get a bit of a shock about this, as she keeps talking about all the things she wants me to do before I leave...

Franch - sorry you can't make Saturday . Maybe you could bring DD to lunch, even if you can't do the pedicure?

Is anyone else interested in a pedicure in London (Marylebone) this Saturday? It's £34, and very nice!! Let me know asap, as I will need to call and cancel the extra appointment this afternoon.

Morning morning.

There seems to be an awful lot of crying going on here. Glad to note that it's not just me. I spent the whole of yesterday evening in tears - and I didn't feel much better this morning. And I was awake for hours in the night again - crisising about how much there is to do and how little time there is to do it, particularly if the peanut does turn up early as suggested. Also - my grandmother, who has dementia (not Alzheimers but not dissimilar), now seems to be on her last gasp. Obviously, because of the nature of the illness, this has been expected for some time - and she hasn't recognised people or been capable of conversation for ages. However, I feel bad because my mother is down there taking her father to the hospital and generally doing stuff - and in ordinary circumstances I'd go and assist. But I just don't feel that I can at the moment - and the longer it lasts, the less likely it will be that I'll make it to a funeral. She's always been a difficult woman to like, but I did spend a fair bit of time with them when I was a kid so there is a bond there. And it's obviously hard for my grandfather: they've been together for nearly 70 years. Which is almost impossible to imagine...

Mummyhill: can't believe people had the insensitivity to comment on your m/c like that! Really - what are these people thinking when they get up in the morning??

The comments were made by my MIL's brother. I can only assume that my husband had temporarily removed his brain and sent it out to the cleaner's - a decision which he is now bitterly regretting. He seems to think that I should bear in mind that his uncle meant well and was only showing concern - and that my email back to him was a little harsh. But if you take it upon yourself to interfere and make ill-considered comments of a personal nature, then you rather deserve what you get back, in my opinion. Particularly when baiting an extremely pregnant and hormonal woman (very wise of the visa people to pull their fingers out when they did, I would say, Kiwifruit).

Would love to have my feet attended to, but I have friend coming this weekend. (She's also good at DIY, so she won't be idle...) Besides, I'm a bit reluctant to unveil the full horror of my feet in public... luckily I can't see them very well anymore.

bubbles2904: I agree that that woman on her third child sounds awful saying what she did, but maybe she's under a lot of stress if it's another child and one that wasn't planned?? Money, space, hassle from partner (either to keep it or at getting duffed in the first place) etc. Just thinking of reasons why she might be so angry...

yes i understand what you're saying rz but i think she could of been a little more tactful when speaking to another pg hormonal woman. thats just my opinion.

Absolutely.

I wonder if it's a defence in law? When you just can't resist any longer the urge to beat someone to a bloody pulp, do you think you can claim diminished responsibility on the grounds of pregnancy hormones...??? (Otherwise I might have to not leave the house for the next couple of months...)

Moschops. I have HEAPS of info for you. I will start a new thread and link it in about 15 minutes time. I also have spd, and have lots of useful tips and information. I've gone from constant agony to intermittent mild soreness by following some of these tips. Hold on, I'll do a link soon

Hi there, I haven't been around much but have been lurking as well. We've just moved into our new house which is great. Just feels brilliant to have more space and to feel a bit more settled. Even if there are still boxes everywhere! Still don't have anythign sorted out for the baby though.

Sorry everyone's feeling so teary. I felt proud of myself yesterday because I actually didn't cry - nearly but not quite.

At yoga last night everyone had to go round saying what they feared most about having their baby. Suffice it say it turned into a big blub fest.

Moschops, sorry to hear about the SPD. I've read that giving a birth in water can really help with that. Get lots of rest and I hope you find some relief soon.

moschops- I'm really sorry your in pain with no support from your mw - if its any comfort my freind had terrible spd - but an easy and quick labour and birth.Cetaintainly stops you enjoying the last few weeks before baby comes.

Kiwifruit - terrible visa experience- you did well not to have cried earilier - think I would have!

RedZuleika- don't know about you but I finding lifes cycles - birth, deaths, marriage etc alot stronger than ever before - I find my self wondering if like your grandparents - will me and dp be together 70 years - and then I cry - not sure why - perhaps terror! Dementia really scares me - think its because you get a very mild taste of the confusion in late preganacy! Lol at your bloody pulp and feet comments - yes I know what you mean!!

Moschops - Sorry to hear you are so uncomfy, hope you can get some relief/information from the link kiwikate is posting for you.

Kiwifruit - I would probably have started crying long before you did, what a terrible experience, hope you are taking some time to relax and get over it.

To everyone else with other children - HELPPPPP I am trying frantically to get the house tidy which means sorting out the dumping ground that is my bedroom. DD has been trying to help but gets bored easily. I have kids progs on telly downstaris so that she can take time out and watch them when she wants but have just come down stairs to find that she has climbed on one of the units and got hold of the chinchilla sand and poured it all over the living room floor to have a beach party whilst mummy is busy. Every time i turn round either she or dh have done something which is going to make life more difficult for me. I am affraid i lost my temper and shouted then she cried and i felt guilty and fled from the room in floods of tears myself.

Moschops take a look at this

I hope you find something there that helps.

Kiwifruit - that sounds horrendous! At least it's all sorted out finally...

I am having an angry moment! Just went to hospital for antenatal class, got there really early so I could find it etc. Sat in the room of Parent Education Centre place where I was told to go for 11.30. At 11.35 there was no one else there (no midwife, no other participants) so started panicking thinking maybe it was being held somewhere else. On the verge of tears (yes, me too I'm afraid!!) I went to main reception who directed me to the antenatal clinic... they said oh meybe they're just running late, and sent me back where I'd just come from... which was still bloody empty, no sign of anyone. After trailing round for 40mins I gave up and came home. Have just left a rather long and angry message on the Parentcraft midwife's answerphone . Doesn't exactly inspire you with confidence does it?! Sorry for the winge, just had to get it off my chest!!

Lady L - hope you went shopping and bought yourself a treat to make up for it!!

sorry to hear they messed you about ladyL I hope they get back to you with a reasonable explination.

I'm going to get told off when dh gets home tonight, I put the crib up with a bit of help with dd. If i waited for him I would still be waiting for it to go up when i get home from hospital.

Kiwifruit - no I didn't, but I really wish I had now! Can't stop fuming!!

I think I know the answer to this - but 'I' seem to be turning into a knackered, tearfull, vague and daft person. Keep losing things, can't find the right words in a conversation, very tired and vague and tearful because of the magnitude of it all!

I keep thinking I may still be anaemic (on iron for 4 weeks now) then I read your messgaes which seem familar - What do you think?? Do I see the dr/mw or just accept that normal service might return after the birth!!

RH - I kind of know how you feel. I have been feeling increasingly vague and not quite myself for a while now, making decisions on what to buy in the supermarket has become an all-day overwhelming event! Not sure if being anaemic would do all of that to you, although i guess it would make you feel pretty washed out. might be worth a mention to midwife, but I suspect it's just those bloody hormones!

Same here! Can't seem to make a single decision about anything and get REALLY stressed out if things don't go according to THE PLAN. Of course THE PLAN is whatever my increasingly random and fragmented pregnant mind has decided is the right course of action for any expected event.
For example:

Event = making dinner for friends. I'm dishing out the salad with nice yummy scallops and friend decides she doesn't like scallops. Pregnant mind goes bonkers and can not cope with anything other than grilled scallops on a bed of spinach.

Result = tears

I don't think it's iron. I think it's hormones and am hoping beyond hope that some day after the birth I might feel like my old self again.

Katts - oh bless & LadyLazarus - yes I'm sure its pregnanacy and I'm sorry yout anti-natal was an anti-climax - what a cheek hope they have a good excuse!

KiwiKate - was impressed by the very comprehensive spd advise.

Laughed and laughed... Yes, I'm a bit like that too. THE PLAN is whatever I decide it is - but I have the right to change it at a moment's notice and get upset if no one keeps up with me...

Regarding the iron thing, my doctor said my last bloods showed me to be a bit anaemic (Hb of 11, it was 14.3 on booking). When I discussed this with the midwife, she said this was perfectly normal haemodilution. The best explanation of which I can find is from the Radical Midwives website:

"It's like pouring more water into a glass of ribena - the amount of ribena stays the same! But the proportional amount of red blood cells in any sample that they might take for a blood test goes down - hence Hb results often go down. In a pregnant woman the 'diluted' blood flows more easily through the placenta, and of course you can lose more of it afterwards without problems, because it's been diluted. Then when you've given birth you wee and wee like crazy, the extra plasma disappears, and gradually the blood goes back to its normal non-pregnant state.

But lots of people tend to forget this, and try and make Hb stay the same throughout pregnancy - like a man's!! Philip Steer did a good piece of research on this some 10 years ago, which showed actually that women with lower Hbs (9 - 10) at the end of pregnancy had better outcomes than those with high Hbs. More lovely flow through that placenta!

Of course some women occasionally get anaemic in pregnancy, but this is not the same as normal, natural haemodilution. There are other blood tests rather than a simply Hb that tests for anaemia - mean blood cell volume (MCV) for example. Any woman who is being muttered at about having a low Hb should ask for her MCV to be taken."

LL - that's very slack about your class. I missed my first antenatal class on Tuesday because of the consultant appointment and the midwife / trainer called me afterwards to find out what had happened to me. I had left her a message previously, but she obviously didn't get it. I felt a bit like I'd bunked off school.

RedZ my Hb was 10.6 last time (17.6 at booking in) Midwife said they don't worry about it unless it's below 10.4 so they'll keep an eye on it and might make me have another test in a week's time - which I don't want. I don't look anaemic and actually feel better now than I did earlier on.

But the info from radmidwives is good. Didn't know about the MCV.

I think I've read something as well about the implications of haemodilution on pph. This is defined as >500ml in the first 24 hours after birth - but if you're nicely haemodiluted, that obviously isn't as much of a worry because you're losing fluid, but not as much cell content as if you lost the same volume when not pregnant. If you see what I mean...

Wow RZ and Katts - you know loads about iron levels - I've no idea what mine is now - when I got the iron tablets I asked the dr if I would be tested again soon & he said not until after the birth!? I do certainly have more colour in my cheeks than 4 weeks ago - and people tell me I look well and blooming - a month ago they looked horrified and I kept being offered a chair! So imagine thats good!

As well as indecisiveness (?sp!), another thing I've noticed since becoming pregnant is that I am VERY anxious in the car! Hubby is always asking if I'm ok if he hears me squealing if another car comes too near or if I grab on to the bar on the door! Not sure why, as I was a perfectly normal passenger pre-pregnancy!

Here the MCV is tested at the same time as the Hb so they get the overall picture. My Hb was 11.4 this time, down from 13.9, but my MCV has stayed the same so no overall problems.
Still got so much work to do, and am running round all over the place trying to fit everything in. Dh has taken ds1 camping for a few days, so it's just me and ds2 here which is strange - ds2 doesn't know whats going on!

Just reminded my manager that I still have 12 days of annual leave remaining, that I'm planning on taking before my mat leave (did tell her this ages ago - pretty sure it was in my letter advising her when I was going to start maternity leave), which means my last day will be the 23rd August. She's freaking out!! In the nicest possible way though... She did ask me if I'd be interested in staying an extra week or so and getting paid out the leave, rather than taking it. Once I stopped laughing I politely declined !!