November 2010 - It's not fat, it's a baby!

[Lorelai]

Hi all. Thought I would get the new thread started before the old one got too full! Thanks to nomoremagnolia for the title

Great news about the scans bunnygirl and babybean

Loopymumsy an INSPIRED idea to list essentials for us first-timers. I feel so fortunate to be able to benefit from the experience of you expert ladies!

I have a couple of questions to throw into the mix - firstly, what on earth are muslin cloths for? Previously my only experience with these was wrapping up pheasant for roasting and I'm pretty sure sticking baby in the oven isn't recommended

Secondly, re the whole moses basket/cot/co-sleep debate. Is co-sleeping having the baby in the bed with you all the time? If I can be totally naive, how would you make sure you don't roll onto it in your sleep during the night? A related concern that I have is that we are somewhat spatially challenged in our flat and I had hoped we mightn't need to set up a "nursery" as such for a few months after baby's born - thinking that it would be in the same room as us. I know I'll need some space to put baby's clothes etc but does not having a dedicated baby room sound feasible or I am again being completely naive?!

Actually I have a third question - does the time of year we're expecting to pop them out have any influence on whether using a sling is possible (thinking mostly about cold weather)?

Think that's it (for this morning at least)! Again, thanks so much for sharing your hard-earned wisdom.

Yes, hooray babybean and bunnygirl.
So chuffed for you.

I feel really sick yesterday and today, it doesnt abate when i eat. Cant decide if i have late onset ms (nearly 10 weeks) or just got a bug.

Extra essentials'
The only socks i have found to stay on are those baby gap ones with the age printed on the bottom like a grip. Around 6 quid for two pairs.

kyuri a sling is actually quite good in winter as baby gets most of your body heat too. Just make sure they have a hat if its freezing.

You use muslins for mopping up vomit, cleaning babys face, using as a burp rag to avoid spoiling your clothes, nb black is not a good colour to wear with a newborn, etc etc

Thanks youremindme - another stupid question...do you wear the sling/baby inside or outside your own coat?

Honestly, I like to think of myself as an intelligent educated woman but there's nothing like impending first-time motherhood to make me realise that actually in this and I'm sure many other areas of life I am completely CLUELESS

I want to get a travel system as last time I found it really useful to be able to keep in the car seat if she was asleep. The reason I want a new one is my last one didn't have a carry cot, and I want one this time so I don't need to use the car seat as much.

Someone askedvabout Moses baskets - DD was in hers till 5 months (swaddled) so they can last longer than a few weeks if you don't have a big/wriggly baby. And we didn't have a nursery for her till then either, so it is possible for as long as a cot/basket will fit in your room.

pidgin that dream of yours about the stoat putting it's eyeballs in its mouth has got under my skin - I keep imagining it. Freaky freaky. Thx for sharing!

loopsy and others, thanks for the lists of essentials! Very useful for people doing this for the first time. I shall have to print and tick off. Hurray! Lists! But I'll leave it for another few months I reckon!

clueless - I'm away this weekend and not back 'til Tuesday, so I keep telling myself that after I get back, it will be less than a week! It helps

There were other people planning on learning to drive I think? I have done NADA and feel a it ashamed? Have you done better than that?

Another great scan here. Had the nuchal bit and that was all fine. Its really a baby in there. Relief!
My last two babies co-slept with me and I also had the cot pushed up against the bed so they could sleep there and not fall out of bed! I think you don't roll on to them because mummies do a special kind of sleeping which isn't as deep. Also you mustn't do it if you have had a bit to drink. I kept them over my side as DH was nervous about squashing them. Its very handy if you're breast feeding and if they tend to be wakeful babies.

Loopymumsy, Thank you for the list. I agree with Kyuri it just seems that re the baby I am completely clueless.
Ah well - will learn. Hopefully.

Is it normal to actually lose weight at this stage? I am 10+2 or maybe 10+5 who knows and I dropped 2 kg in the last 2 months. I think it must be the non-drinking of wine and inability to have a 3 course dinner thing. And the nausea. But on my iPregnancy chart I am off range.

Can;t wait for the next scan - it's another 2 weeks away and having seen the heart beat at 6+ weeks I am anxious to see things are still going well.

Especially since I had a chemical leak in my flat - stupid stupid people left one of those do not touch, dangerous chemicals mouse traps under the kitchen sink. The pipe leaked. I don't use that cupboard but I could smell sth funny so I opened it and found white, hissing, stinking foam all over. Called DH at 2 am in a panic since he was once a military chemical engineer. Was told to open the window, put on gloves, not breath, put it in plastic bag and throw it outside. But outside was someone's garden. So instead I carried it to our balcony, needless to say on the way I did breath. I so hope my little shrimp is OK.

SomethingSuitablyWitty I too need to learn how to drive. I am a bit lucky as I already have a licence - got it at 17 and haven't driven since though.
The plan was to start lessons a month ago. But I was sick just looking at cars. Now I feel brave enough to take some in the afternoons. I wonder how many it will take. Still did nothing, big fat zero. Maybe will google some schools now.

Hey Blondecat - sorry about the chemical mousetrap - it sounds terrible! I just wanted to tell you that about a week back, I was having a bit of a mad cleaning session (doesn't happen often ) and I decided I had to deal with the mould on the bedroom wall, which is due to the damp from the bathroom. It's a rented flat, we fixed the wall a couple of years back, but it's a structural problem that recurs and I wasn't too happy with the thought of mould/spores in the air etc. So I scraped it and got out the spray and sprayed it and gradually realised it is a killer ultra toxic chemical spray and that the whole thing was a really bad idea, but that I was stuck with it now. Spent the rest of the time wrapped up and not breathing, running over to the window for breaths of air. Of course, just like you I did breathe, and just like you I did worry about it, but well, to conclude, I think you have to just let it go. We did our best, we can't have been much exposed. let's not worry!!

By the way, I'm secretly glad you haven't managed the driving yet either! But we will! Let's do this thing!

biscuit - great news on the scan!

Congratulations on the good scan news!! At last managed to book mine, tho not until 18th May, when will be 13+2.

Essentials: my advice would be not to leave thinking about this too late. After 20 week scan but still during 2nd trimester might be good time.

I bought a bargain secondhand pram at 12 weeks, which was a good idea. But I left some other stuff to the last 10 weeks and it was v stressful and uncomfortable. Cots and prams can take several weeks to order in. And you may not be able to walk very well in the 3rd trimester, in case you want to go to shops and try out buggies.

Kyuri DS was born in a very cold December. In the first weeks/months I carried him (well wrapped up) in a BabyBjorn Active carrier with a windproof cover, inside a giant coat of DH's.

Totally agree, the learning curve is v steep at the beginning, and you realise a whole crucial area of education was missed out. Actually reckon that knowing the answer to the "what should it wear in this temperature?" question is the bit that will help most this time. It's so obvious to anyone who's done it that they struggle tell you the answer, but until you have one, it's not something you'd ever think about.

We also lived in spatially-challenged flat so DS had to sleep in our room. We co-slept a lot. (Co-sleeping is a whole big debate minefield. Expect there's good advice on MN somewhere.) But we also bought a crib which is smaller than a cot but they can have it longer than a moses basket.

We didn't have a separate room for him, but we did need a well set up changing station, which for us was just a (stable) chest of drawers with his mat on top. Some people change on the floor, which is easier because if you realise you don't have something to hand, you can go and get it without the baby plummeting. But I have bad back. (Changing on bed not good idea. Newborns squirt high-pressure liquid poo.)

Also you need to think about where you'll do the night changes and feeds for the first ?6 ?12 weeks during which many newborns poo and need changing at night. Can be useful to have a place to do them which is not the room in which the other parent is sleeping.

Sorry that was long, hope useful.

Finally got my scan date thru, 7/5 so will be 13+1 then

Had my booking in app, not as exciting as I expected, lots of questions and blood samples but not much else

Have started buying bits n pieces but think the list is a great idea, there's so much stuff out there that the manufacturers say is 'essential' its great to see what really is

Great to hear about all the scans. See, they are really in there!

List is a good idea too. I've added a couple of bits:

essentials
-Sleeping bag, after week 4 or 8 Lbs,
-Muslins,
-Lots of babygrows,
-vests
-Carseat
-Pram,
-Sling,
-Cot (unless you co-sleep)
-If not BF baby, then steriliser and bottles.
-Nappies (washables need thinking about in pregnancy!)
-Hats
-baby monitor
-Scratch mitts
-Nappy bin (or bucket if you're using washables)
-Thick all-in-one for outside.
-Changing mat
-Flannels
-Lansinoh (if breastfeeding)
-Plenty of blankets

maybes
-baby bath/tummy tub
-Changing station
-Hooded towels (I love these)
-Bundlers (easier for night-time changes)

DS would only sleep in his sling or in my arms during the day until he was about five months.

It was a bit of an eye-opener, I tell you.

Oh, and I would put a travel changing mat in essentials, too.

Wrt to the amazing exploding newborn poo, I bought a couple of washable floor mats from Ikea to protect the carpet in DS' room. One of them just went through the wash every time that happened.

Can I suggest fishing overalls and waders as well.

Booboobedoo yeah, I had one of those no-sleep babies too. Was v pleased with Bugaboo and its carrycot, imagined him peacefully snoozing in sitting room. Hah! He wouldn't ever lie down in the pram. For my 6 week check I had to push him down Kilburn High Road propped up with pillows so he could see out, otherwise he just went bright red and screamed. Slings are brilliant.

Add to essentials: maternity pads and breast pads. So many more than you'd think possible.

tummy tubs look so cute I'm thinking of getting one this time.

A word of warning re: nappy bins. They end up stinking of pooey nappies mixed with "freshener" which is seriously disgusting. You might end up slinging it out. Better to just put them in the bin outside.

Loopymumsy yes, those are the skis! If there's enough snow it's possible to cross-country ski in the city here.

Sabie yes, we're lucky with our clean lakes and swimming in them is encouraged which is nice.

Gah, had a giving birth nightmare last night. I hope these don't continue. I'm assuming that I'm not the only one feeling terrified rather nervous about that part of things.

Thanks for the lists it's great to have somewhere to start.

hello all, FINALLY got my date for my dating scan, on the 17th may, seems like AGES away but i will be twelve weeks and 4 days? plus its at 9:20am which works out quite well with dropping the elder three off at school for 8:45 then mad dash to the hospital, think we will prob take ds4 with us? not sure about that yet tho, it doesnt say NOT to in the letter... but will have a think.

i agree slings are great for around the house and for the first 6mths and beyond! have always had a pram with a carrycot or lie flat pushchair as i think its REALLY important that newborns lie flat and agree with loopymumsy about not leaving them in their car seats etc, so even if i used the sling for outside i tended to have a pram/pushchair set up in the front porch or living room so if i needed to i had somewhere to lay baby down, also good if you have a toddler as they are a bit more out of reach of grabbing toddler hands (eye poking is a fave toddler pastime!) whereas if they are just in a bouncy chair/ car seat on the floor then toddlers may attempt to get in the seat with them....

we have NEVEr had a nursery, boys have been in with us till they were two or three years, in our bed to begin with then we have a toddler bed that is the same height as our futon, so it goes next to or at the end of our bed and they kind fo gradually learn to sleep in that and then have moved straight into a big bed when they went in their own rooms.

just have a chest of drawers for baby clothes in our room.

for nappy changes in the night i tended to just have a towel to put on the bed whilst i changed them, then if it got dirty it could just go i the wash, plus you can fold it to cover little willies that may spray everywhere!

totally agree those nightie type things are great for nighttimes, no poppers to faff with in the middle of the night! you may want a torch or little night light so you can see what you are doing with nappy changes, without having to turn on the big light and wake you and the baby up!

if you are not keen on co sleeping but want them close and you have the space, you can now get bedside cots which adjust so they are the same height as your bed and you can have the side up or down so when you are not in the room you can put the side up if you are worried about them rolling out. i think cossatto do one, i know my friend has one (her little boy still sleeps in with her tho!) and i think she paid about £200 for it?

umm thats all i can think of for now, my brain is a bit frazzled, dam pregnancy hormones as well as feeling sick as a dog i am also crying at random things on tv like properly crying! not normally a tearful person at all, infact my cpn often says i NEED to cry and i cant! so he will be pleased

Great to hear about the latest successful scans!

And, what a fab idea re the essentials list Loopy!

I have just mooched around John lewis looking at prams - good God, I have no idea what I am looking at - completely clueless! Thank goodness for you lot here

My sister and I both have scans tomorrow - the 12 week one for me, and the 20 week one for her - bonkers! My Mum is going to find it hard to concentrate at work tomorrow, bless her ;)

Woohoo, just got my date for 20 week scan 1st July - can't wait!

Nice to hear about everyone's scans today. I'm off to the Lake District tomorrow (long drive from Hampshire) followed by a short trip to Scotland to let Granny see dd1/2 and scan pics. Can't wait!

loopy and 4madboys thanks for the advice on car seats vs travel systems. I had been assuming a travel system would be best, but maybe I will try and go for a good car seat and see if I can use a sling until 6 months, as there are lots more to choose from at that stage (and a bit cheaper) plus I'll know what sort of usage it will be required for! Top tips girls - thanks

4madboys I am also crying at ANYTHING at the moment - TV can instigate it, but I was also blubbing to Bohemian Rhapsody on the radio in the car earlier too...! Bizarre.