Hello all and welcome to the newer ladies. I have been a bit busy to post recently but lurk around to read up sometimes!
The presence of mums etc. immediately after birth is such an emotive issue isn't it? I agree that it's good to keep the (metaphorical) door open, but you do have to protect yourself too. I'm, kind of in the middle. First time round DH and I were determined to have our time with the baby. Actually, we could probably have done with a bit of help with meals and chores. Those first few days were not so much bliss as "WTF?!!".
My mum is someone I struggle to get round to our home (long term posters will know there are mental health and other issues). Having said that, she made what was for her a supreme effort to come and visit for a drop in a few times in the first few weeks as she was worried I'd end up with serious PND like her. I really appreciated it. Just to have the chance to say "I'm so tired" and to hear the reply, "yes, that's what it's like" felt like she empathised even if there was nothing she could do about it.
My MIL is really nice and laid back. She'll play with/read to DS but forget about housework and meals. When she comes over it's like a little holiday for her. Just call her when dinner or lunch is ready! I have already warned DH that We won't be waiting on anyone who comes to stay, but I guess we get what we get with parents eh?
Sorry not to reply by name to all of the interesting posts (enjoying them all )but for now (in no particular order):
MammyG: You're doing fantastically well. The sadness will hit you sometimes. It must be hard to deal with but please don't expect yourself to be full of sunshine all the time. Feel free to be miserable as you like with us [hug emoticon].
Congratulations to Jaysfourth, Indzidoodle and Kittyonthebeam on finding out the sex of your babies. BTW Kittyonthebeam what is it like living where you are? DH and I had a passing thought about moving abroad for a few years to save up some cash. DH is a physiotherapist but not sure I'd find a job as my qualifications are UK specific. May not be so lucrative on one salary and presumably substantial school fees to pay.
Inzidoodle I'm hoping for VBAC too. Ditto re your experience on the first night. I wasn't in a private room, but staff too busy and no one even told me to buzz for help. How I HATED that post labour ward. Not that bad with hindsight, but no sleep and old school horrible night nurse who seemed to get a kick out of undermining new mums about how we knew nothing.
Was it really bad for you? Mine was ok (planned due to complications and breech presentation) but I was upset and disappointed at the time as I'd wanted natural and water birth. This time I'm determined to take things as they come and try not to stress too much. As for birth plan: that was ignored. This time (different hospital) I'll probably just put: active labour/want to move about/change position; gas and air; bath to labour in. I don't know if you want a bath to labour in, but did you know that they have to use special waterproof foetal monitoring equipment? Worth asking if you're interested as VBACs have to go to labour ward and cannot use birth centres with pools.
LucyLG sorry to hear the redundancy news. Is there a good chance he can get another job in the next few months?
Jaysfourth, just reading about your consultant tires me out. Why is it that if you are even mildly assertive or questioning, it has to be such a battle to get your view across? By the end I had had it with with the various SHO's I saw during last pregnancy. Consultant was ok but the rest really resented any dissent or detailed questions about their advice. Am hoping this time it won't be so hard going.
I will stop soon...
Slings: isn't there some info earlier on this thread (or on our first one)?
Baby names: full of admiration for those who've though about it. I have no idea and haven't even begun to consider names.
Movements: not much here either. I Do worry (like you Bexy73) but try not to do so too much.
RunningGuerita I had the Gentle Birth Method and author's related hypno birth tape. Interesting read, but TBH too restrictive on diets etc for me. I haven't yet picked it up this pregnancy and probably won't. However, I intend to try some ante-natal yoga and breathing classes. I think this will work better for me than lying alone in my bedroom, listening to Gowrie and trying to eliminate everyday thoughts from my mind.