Due May 2010: Where we get a 'bloom' just in time for the christmas mayhem???

[AnAngelWithin]

Morning ladies. Hope you don't mind me starting a new thread! The other one was too big for my computer to manage! lol

01 May - Brightredballoon, 32. #3
02 May - kaystar, 33, #1
03 May - lizzie9442, 23, #4
04 May - ForcesSweetheart, 36, #2
04 May - memorylapse, #5
05 May - Lotus Palm, 31, #1
05 May - Bettymamma #3
06 May - DorotheaPlenticlew, #2
06 May - LuckyC, 35, #1
07 May - Woody31 #1
07 May - hobnobfanatic, 37. #2
08 May - sweetkitty, 34, #4
08 May - Sassles, 30, #1
08 May - TheShopaholic, 33, #2
09 May - Alexw, 37, #2
10 May - Sophie2008, 28, #2 & #3 (Non id twins!)
10 May - Gils, 28, #2
11 May - Itshappenedagain, 25, #2
11 May - sheepgomeep, 32,#4
12 May - pamelat, 31, #2
12 May - Tamuna, 28, #1
12 May - slipperthief, 33, #2
12 May - napa, 31, #2
12 May - Katnkittens 29, #4
12 May - Haribolicious, 36, #2
13 May - Cith, 30, #1
13 May - Wibblela, 36, #1
14 May - Charmbutterfly, 28, #1
14 May - Carikube, 36, #2
14 May - JamesAndTheGiantBanana, 28, #2
14 May - CornishSAMum, 32, #1
14 May - Tinylion #2
15 May - TwentiethCenturyHeffa, 25, #2
16 May - MoggMum, 38, #1
16 May - MinnieMummy, 36, #3
16 May - schipo, 40, #1, [boy]
17 May - newmomma, 31 #2
17 May - LittleOneMum, 36, #2
17 May - First1, 21, #1
17 May - Morph2, 36 #1
18 May - TomlinTowers, 31, #2
18 May - 30ish, 31, #2
19 May - cupcakefairy, 25, #1
19 May - Pigleychez, 28, #2
20 May - LolaAnn, 22, #1
20 May - mmmmmchocolate, 27, #2
20 May - BuongiornoPrincipessa, 29, #1
21 May - Suey2, 39, #2
21 May - Sweetpeasmum, 38, #2
23 May - Swangirl,36 #3
23 May - Mollybob, 37 #3
23 May - RacquelWelsh, 38 #1
24 May - Yorky (started on here as HeadInAWhirl), 31 #3
24 May - Cafuffle 36 #2
24 May - AnAngelWithin #5
25 May - Den26, 26 #1
26 May - Booboomonster 35 #2
26 May - Washersaurus, 33, #3
28 May - Glastochick #1
30 May - tiggsy98 29, #2
31 May - April80 29,#2
31 May - Hollyoaks, 27, #2

Less rushed this evening:

ML - v sorry to hear you're not well. Have you been able to get assigned to a new GP and midwife yet? Hope someone is looking after your care properly!

Hobnob - glad to hear you're recovering well from your fall.

Re childcare during birth I'm wondering if doulas are an option?

I imagine some might be a bit disappointed to miss the actual birth, but from what I've seen they often advertise as being willing to do anything to support mothers - eg. post natal doulas are usually happy to cook and clean for instance, so looking after older children might also be within scope. They should at least be prepared to drop everything and be there when you need them - unlike most childminders I imagine.

BRB, Forces I can't believe you have delivery dates already - and so soon! 13/14 weeks sounds like nothing - why so early - is that GD?

All this talk of hospital bags sounds is really making me feel ill-prepared too. I've done plenty of research and made loads of lists but have hardly bought a thing. Can't believe I'm supposed to move house between now and due date. It makes it seem very far off. We've been in this flat for 10 years so it's going to be a real upheaval. I'll only want to paint everything too when we do move.

Nappies, I don't really get the point of cloth nappies. With all the energy needed for washing and drying they're not much better are they? What other reasons are there for using them? I did hear that bio degradable nappies aren't very good (ie. they leak). Wondering if anyone's found any good disposable ones that don't cause land fill problems?

mdm - your bump is very discreet - please tell us you're very tall

Rachel, loulou welcome! do feel free to add yourselves to the list

Don't know about NHS classes, but have heard they don't cover as much. NCT classes were booked up around here ages ago. There are private ones too, I've discovered since, that sound just as good if not better. Not much more expensive either.

HI all

ML & Hobnob - sorry to hear your not feeling well, I hope things have improved and you and lo are ok.

Sorry for the quick reply but not much new happening hear, still going through a really sad and stressful time, wish it was over .

Hope everyone is well, thanks for all the lovely messages.

Peaky- Im with you on the not sleeping well. I find myself tossing and turning all over the place.

Hobnob- we have no family nearby so no idea what will happen at the birth yet! Guess we will work that out nearer the time. My neighbours have always said we can call on them,they are lovely but in their late 70's so would feel abit guilty dumping them with a toddler!!

MDM- Where is your bump?!? I looked bigger than that at 5 weeks!.. but then again I was never as slim as you!
I think they pretty much cover the same things but im guessing the NCT classes would be more indepth.

re prams- I spent so long researching prams for DD and ended up with this. Been fab for us and will be using it again this time. DD still uses it now and loves being rearfacing. Totally agree different prams suit different people.
Now need to look into Buggy boards.

Angel- your FIL sounds fab! The baby shopping sounds fab

Rachel- welcome

Ml- Hope you get the support from the DN

Heffa- Thanks for asking after DD. She slept really well last night thankfully and no more sickness. However its now the other end I need to worry about! Poor things has the squits! Very pleasant with my overactive gag reflex

Loulou- Welcome Due the same day as me. We did the NHS classes last time and think they were nearer the 30 week mark.

Cari- Know exactly what you mean about raising the BP having my mum stay before the birth. Plus if like DD, Ill be 2 weeks late and 2 weeks would really really stress me out!

Hi All,

Marquise - i'm a first timer too and have taken the approach of burying my head in the sand when it comes to buying things. Feel a bit scared of it all really!! Think i'll do some investigating on the internet and research prices etc, atleast i'll be doing something! not really sure where to start

Itshappenedagain - i have so far gutted all of the cupboards in the house!! Have carrier bags of rubbish lying around! Hoping DP will take the hint to take them off to recycling etc!

Memorylapse - sorry to hear you're unwell, hopefully your diabetic nurse will be more help. Try take it easy

Hollyoaks - hope your ok...

Welcome to Rachel and loulou!

Angel - thats great about your FIL. I'm beginning to worry about support around as both mine and DP's family almost 200miles away.

Theres so much to think about! I have MW appointment tomorrow so hopefully she can help me come up with an action plan!

MDM I don't think you'd need to do both the NCT and the NHS classes. People I know who did both said the NHS ones weren't as good and the main thing with the NCT ones is the social aspect - you'll no doubt stay in contact with those in your class and that is such a useful support network for once you've had your baby. For all that there are hundreds of people out there with their own opinions/advice to offer, nothing beats knowing other new mums going through exactly the same thing as you at exactly the same time as you all stumble through the experience together. An absolute lifesaver!

However I did do the NHS breastfeeding class and I did find that worthwhile...

Den and Itshappenedagain could some of your nesting wear off on me please? DH is still disappointed that the only thing I didn't go through when pg with dd was the nesting bit and it's showing no signs of turning up this time either

Hi everyone

Welcome to the new joiners.

I ompleted my Maternity Grant form today, how is everyone going to spend it? I (selfishly) said to DH I could use it as a deposit on the new bathroom suite, figured the baby would benefit from that in time!

Schipo with elective sections they seem to go for 39wks, I think Forces is earlier due to pregnancy complications? I havent had an elective before and both of my others were 5 days overdue so it will be quite bizarre for me to be early!

Hollyoaks hope you are ok, I seem to have missed your post so I have no idea what is going on but I will read back up until I find it.

Marquise personally I didn't find the NHS parenting classes very helpful at all, they didnt tell us anything we didn't already know but they were very basic (not implying we knew everything!). We didn't keep in touch with any of the couples either as it was quite a sterile environment noone go to know anyone else.

Sorry for anyone I have missed, I am going for a soak in the bath

SK are you finding your bump and everything else is the same as what it was with your DDs? I was/am sure I am having another boy but then your news has made me wonder if I will get a surprise at the birth (we didn't find out the sex so it will in theory be a surprise anyway!).

Thanks everyone!

Schipo how do I add myself to the list? Still getting to grips with how things work around here!

ML I hope you feel better soon, sounds like you're having a terrible time.

First time around I didn't do NCT classes, just NHS ones and pregnancy yoga (also a one off pregnancy yoga workshop with DH) and these worked well for me.

Been having a LOT of heartburn today, came on very suddenly. Thought I might avoid it this time. Insomnia has returned, not so much out of discomfort, but I just can't sleep! Nesting instinct kicking in - cleaned out the cupboard under the kitchen sink today! Anyone else having the urge to clean unusual places?

Thinking a lot about the obstetric consultation I'm having at hospital tomorrow (due to the trouble I had giving birth to DS1). Yesterday, I thought I was dead set on a CS but now I am not so sure. I also have no family around so having a CS would eliminate the worry of who would look after DS whilst I have the baby as I could summons MIL, I am very concerned about the timing. I just don't know what to think anymore about my birth options. Feels like a lose-lose situation. I am a natural pessimist, though!

rachel do you want to talk about your DS1's birth? I had a difficult time with DC1 ending in forceps in theatre, at my consultant apt when I was expecting DC2 it was good to really thoroughly talk through what happened and was reassured that it was unlikely to happen again. As it happens DC2 ended in a crash section so I will never know if there would be a repeat of DC1 birth or if a normal delivery second time round would be different. I am going for elective this time round

Hi all

Memorylapse/Hollyoaks - I hope you are both feeling better soon.

Hobnob - take care of yourself after your fall.

BRB - how did you get the Mat Grant form? Do you get it through the midwife? Is it the £190 grant? I think we will use it to buy a new mattress for DC for the cot.

Nesting is kicking in here but I am currently obsessed with cleaning cupboard tops and skirting boards! DH has banned me from climbing on chair and work surfaces, and I can't bend down for long periods of time, so Molly Maid is coming on Friday to give me a quote for a "deep spring clean". Looking forward to having a lovely properly clean house - the challenge will be keeping it that way afterwards!

I did both NHS and NCT classes with DS1. I kept in touch with the women in both classes. The NHS ones were more basic but gave lots of useful tips about how to get to the hospital, how you get your parking pass so you don't have to pay the car parking charges, where the maternity entrance is, so lots of practical advice. Also there was one session held at the hospital so you could look round the delivery suite (as long it was empty, obv!) followed by a session with the physio which was really useful. The NCT was more about emotions etc during birth, massage, preparations, etc so much more of a holistic approach I guess. Also gave lots of info about actually caring for the baby when it's here, like how to hold them in the bath, how to dress them, room temps, etc which the NHS classes didn't cover at all in my area. Both classes covered all the medical/physical stuff as well.

Another thing to consider is DH/DP - DH didn't really get on with the NHS classes as they concentrated lots on what was physically happening to the woman during birth, although he remembered much more of the practical stuff when it came to the event. However, the NCT class used to split the group into men and women, and then gave the men a chance to talk about how they were feeling about the birth, any worries they had etc - turned out DH was really worried about what to do if there was an emergency, how long we would have to get to hospital, etc which he hadn't told anyone before. And DH is not known for being an emotionally open type of bloke!

The only downside I found about the NCT is that you get to join for a year, and I didn't really use them at all once I had given birth. I found our local BF support helpline useless when I was having problems BF-ing DS1 and I never bothered with them after that.

Sorry for mammoth post - hope that helps a little bit!

For the 2nd+ timers - we are thinking of getting a buggy board. Does anyone have any recommendations for brands or where to get them for good prices? Do they fit all pram models? DS1 will be nearly 3 when this one arrives and doesn't really sit in his pushchair any more so a double buggy really wouldn't be an option, but I need something to help out when I need to get him to playgroup with 5 minutes to spare and don't have 20 minutes to walk there at his pace!

Rachel, all you need to do to add yourself to the list is copy the most recent version (look back through pages if necessary) and add yourself inline.

Good luck with the appointment tomorrow anyway - and sorry to hear your last birth didn't go smoothly!

Tomlin Yes the midwife gave me the form to complete for the £190 Grant, she did say you have to be 25wks before you can complete it so you will get yours soon.

Regarding Buggyboards, we got a Lascal 3G last time which has been great (bought it 2nd hand off ebay) but this time round i am going to get the latest one (think its a Lascal Maxi? Will need to look into it!) as it has different fixings to remove the board from the pram and that was my only issue with the baord really that it was a bit of a faff to get off the pram when I was putting it in the car. I used mine on a maclaren but if you have a pram with a rear bar between the wheels you would be able to get one of the more triangular shaped boards which get great reviews too.

OK, I'm added!

01 May - Brightredballoon, 32. #3
03 May - hormonalmum, 33,#3
03 May - Lizzie9442, 23, #4 GIRL
04 May - ForcesSweetheart, 36, #2, GIRL
04 May - Memorylapse,37 #5 GIRL
04 May - Squirtsmum, 27 #1
05 May - Sweetkitty, 34, #4
06 May - LuckyC, 35, #1, GIRL
07 May - hobnobfanatic, 38, #2 GIRL??
09 May - alexw, 37, #2
10 May - Sophie2008, 28 #2 & #3 (TWINS!)
10 May - LittleOneMum, 36, #2, GIRL
11 May - Itshappenedagain, 2, #2 GIRL
12 May - pamelat, 31, #2 BOY
12 May - Katnkittens 30, #4, GIRL
12 May - Haribolicious 36, #2, BOY
13 May - Cith, 30, #1
13 May - Wibblela, 36, #1, GIRL?
13 May - TinyVeins, 29, #1
13 May - Mummymunchkins, 40, #3, BOY
14 May - MinnieMummy, 37, #3, ??
14 May - Fiveisanawfullybignumber, 37 #5 GIRL
14 May - Carikube, 36 #2 ?
14 May - JamesAndTheGiantBanana, 28, #2 GIRL
14 May - CornishSAMum, 33, #1, ?
15 May - TwentiethCenturyHeffa, 26, #2
15 May - LuckyMiller, 33, #1
16 May - MoggMum, 38, #1
16 May - schipo 40, #1, BOY
16 May - Vicky204, 34, #1
16 May - Rachelfruitloop 35, #2 BOY
17 May - Morph2 36 #1
18 May - TomlinTowers, 31, #2
18 May - 30ish, 31, #2 BOY
19 May - Pigleychez, 28, #2
19 May - cupcakefairy, 25, #1
21 May - Sweetpeasmum, 38, #2
23 May - Mollybob, 37 #3
23 May - Racquel Welsh, 38,#1
23 May - Nimk, 30, #1
23 May - myfirstbump, 26, #1
24 May - AnAngelWithin #5
24 May - Yorky, 31, #3
24 May - peakyispreggers, 27, #1 BOY
25 May - Den26, 26, #1 BOY
26 May - booboomonster, 35, #2
26 May - kateyjane, 32, #4
31 May - Hollyoaks, 28, #2

This is a long story, brightredballoon, but I think I probably had a similar experience to yours with my DS1. My labour progressed fairly quickly and baby was large. I couldn't control the urge to push at 7cm dilation, but I had an epidural which was great. When it was time, I was pushing for a couple of hours and he was crowning but just wouldn't come out. Was told I may need an EMCS, was brought into theatre and had episiotomy and ventouse (which didn't work), and then forceps did the job. He was fine other than a couple of scrapes - chubby, bald and beautiful, 9lbs 12oz!

I had a 3rd degree tear, and on my third day in hospital was told I needed a blood transfusion, 4 pints. I am seriously squeamish (about blood and needles particularly) and was shocked that they were telling me this so long after the birth. I still don't know why I lost so much blood. Also, the piles were murder! Don't mean this to be such a bad story. I think it just ended up this way for me because I have trouble relaxing at the best of times, labour just overwhelmed me. Luckily, I forgot about a lot of these feelings until I got pregnant with DS2!

I'm sure DS2 is going to be large as well, (due date was moved up almost a week and AC was in the 99th percentile in the 20 week scan) so I am scared that I will a) be denied an epidural, have a difficult labour that ends in another 3rd degree tear, and perhaps I won't be lucky enough to be sewn up properly and will have incontinence issues for the rest of my life. b) have a difficult labour that ends in an EMCS, so I might have piles again from pushing and major surgery to recover from.

I fear I won't be able to handle labour - I have this feeling that I'll panic again and then it will end with a CS. So, that's why I'm thinking an elective CS is a better option. Also, DH and I don't live very close to hospital and don't have a car, also have to have DS1 looked after and no family nearby, so CS seems appealing from the planning aspect, too. But maybe if I hired a doula I could handle the labour? I don't know! I'm just hoping that the consultation can help me decide what will be best for me. Any advice anyone else can offer would be welcomed, too!

Hi Rachel sorry you had such a difficult time of it with your DS1. I can relate to a of your birth story (although my DD was average weight, what was stopping her coming out was that she was back to back with her head flexed up so unable to turn by herself).

If you go ahead with another vaginal delivery I think a Doula would be an excellent idea and I really think that would help you remain as calm as can be (I am also a naturally panicky person!). Have you considered going along for hypnobirthing classes as well? I was looking into both of these when I was going for a VBAC as I have a dear friend down south who does both of these and I think it can make a lot of difference to the birth and outcome.
Did you say your Consultant appointment was today? I would write the list down of your concerns about DS1s birth and make sure the consultant hears what you are saying so they can address each issue and not just pack you off with "second births are much easier, the passage has been made" as although that is reassuring it might not stop your worries and you dont want that to be on your mind the whole pregnancy and leading upto birth.

Let us know how you got on.

Rachel have you used the birth afterthoughts service at all so that you can talk through your experience with someone 'independent'? With dd I ended up going in to theatre, having a spinal block, episiotomy and forceps (after 5 hours of pushing with little/no pain relief as G&A wasn't doing it for me, and being hooked up to a drip for over an hour to see if that would help) and I was worried that the same thing would happen this time round as well. Admittedly I didn't have it as bad as you in the days afterwards by the sounds of it but it did take quite a while before I was moving/sitting anywhere near normally.

I used the birth afterthoughts service and went through all my labour notes with a midwife and that really helped me. I know there's no guarantees that it won't happen again but it was helpful having someone who took their time going through it all with me, who came to my house to do it (so I didn't have to worry about being pushed out in time for the next appointment) and who was willing to ask any question that I came up with.

Rachel - sorry you had such a difficult birth first time round I'm having a section this time (I think, can change my mind if I want) because of a third degree tear last time. My consultant was excellent and explained everything really well. She said that the risk of tearing is lower second time round but that the recovery can be a lot harder and can potentially leave you with long term problems. She also said that it was totally my decision and that she didn't think either choice would be bad as lots of women have straightforward vaginal births after a bad tear. If we could afford a doula I'd definitely be looking into that though. Hope your consultation goes well and you get some answers.

Re classes - I did NHS classes last time and they weren't terribly helpful. Very basic stuff (especially if you've spent lots of time on MN!) and the group was too big to socialise well. Mine were with the local midwife unit and the MW who ran it clearly didn't like the big hospital so put the fear of God into me about what it would be like there (at that point I already had no choice about where I could go). No experience of the NCT classes. I missed the last one because I was in labour anyway.

anangelwithin Sorry but I'm gonna need the car seat - even if its just for the car and not to use on a travel system. (I'm expecting in May too :-))

peakyispreggers The dreami carrycot is brand new so we were asking for £120 (£141 new from john lewis). the pushchair is £315 new from john lewis so say £250 to make it £370 all in for everything. they seem to get around that on ebay. or let me know what you think would be reasonable (am open to offers)?

Its hardly been used.

I'm in Berkshire...

Anyone got any advice regarding constructive dismissal or sex discrimination claims while pregnant? Got some major problems going on with my work at the mo... :-(

Rachel, brightred and Caricube, you have scared me slightly with your stories! But I am reassured by the fact that your experiences haven't put you off having a second child - I hope you all have an easier time this time round, whichever method of delivery you choose.

schipo - I would love to be tall, but I am 5'3 / 1m60 (on an optimistic day!). Pigley - I don't know where my bump is (although it has suddenly sprouted in the couple of weeks since the last photo was taken). For a while DH was convinced I was growing the baby in my boobs (which have gone up 3 cup sizes already and don't seem to be showing any sign of slowing down).

Den26 - I think my excessive research into what baby stuff to buy has just been an alternative outlet for my shopaholic tendencies, since there hasn't been any point in buying new clothes (apart from the odd maternity item) for the last few months! I haven't actually bought anything yet, just done whatever the internet equivalent of window shopping is.

Thanks to everyone for all the thoughts on NHS vs NCT classes. Our NCT starts in 4 weeks, and I might pick and choose a couple of the NHS ones, like the breastfeeding one, to supplement it. After all, it's another couple of free mornings off work! (Which is what I should be doing now.)

Crikey Marquise - you have the flattest tummy I've ever seen! I look like a whale that has twins! People are shocked when they hear I'm not about to drop. It shows that my abs aren't in good condition, to swell out so much.

I really hope the sonographer didn't miss anything on the scan. I look like I have triplets on board!

Living in the middle of nowhere, NCT classes are pointless for me. Lots of dosh, a long way to travel, and no chance of socialising with anyone local and making friends nearby. I'll go to the NHS ones, if only because this is DP's first, so he's a novice. I wish there were a local NCT group - the nearly new sales are fab!

Rachel- Sorry to about your bad birth last time. I can sympathise. With DD I was 2 weeks late so induced. Water broke pretty soon but eneded up in labour for 27 hours as DD was back to back and stuck.Ended up in theatre where they turned DD using Vontouse the used forceps to pull her out. Then was stuck with Shoulder dystosia so was cut and a further 3rd degree tear. Narrowly avoided an emergency CS. All in all not really an experience id rather have again ( apart from getting DD that is!)

I hope you get to have a good chat with the consultant who will answer your questions and put your mind at rest.

It very interesting hearing everyone else birth experiences and hearing about the consultant appointments they have because of it. Nothings been mentioned to me, Im not even sure the MW has any idea of my birth history as theresnothing in my current notes.
Kind of feeling abit left to just get on with it

Tomlin- I was looking online at Buggyboards and the Lascal website has a list of which prams/buggys it fits and pics how. Very pleased to see it fits my pram nicely

Newmomma- Post of the pregnancy board as there are some knowledgeable people on there about that type of thing. Sorry your having such trouble

More bloody snow here at the mo but fingers crossed it looks too wet to settle. Hope so as ive started getting a bit of a social life back seeing friends again after all being stuck into doors going crazy with the kids!

Snow here, too, Piglez - and the school is closed. I'm quickly becoming snow-phobic. I used to love the stuff - but I never, ever want to see another flake again!

Do ask your mw for a consultant's appt - I'm sure you're entitled to one if you've had a difficult first labour and have concerns about teh second.

Please excuse the terrible spelling and missed letters! DD is currently surrounding me with the contents of her toy box!

Pigley - have you talked to your midwife about your birth history? There must be some way for you to talk to someone about your options, even if it's just to get some reassurance.

Good luck for everyone who doesn't want snow! I never thought I'd be glad to see the back of snow! We have none here, although apparently there are severe gales and rain tomorrow, oh joy!

Heffa- I have a MW appointment tomorrow, so will try and bring it up then. She always seems so rushed though and your in and out in 10 minutes. Plus im not sure how to bring it up?

Pigley, if it's any consolation I have not been offered any consultant appointments either - the MW says that I am still low risk and can remain under her care throughout (she knows my history) which at least makes me confident that they really don't think that this is likely to be a complicated birth. This does mean that I can either have a homebirth (still dithering about that one) or go to the MW birthing centre (which is nowhere near the hospital, but is just lovely).

And Marquise please don't let our experiences get you worried; a lot of people have asked me whether I am getting worried about this labour following my experiences and I can honestly say that it isn't. Much as I would rather not go through what I went through again, I also know that it does (eventually!) end so as long as I keep telling myself that, I think I'll be ok!