Due March 2010 - we're halfway there!

[annamama]

... this is a new thread following on from the last one, welcome oldies & newbies ...

donttry I totally agree with swings when it comes to baby books. I'm one of those people who really needs to read up on something before getting into it and I read all the stuff I could get my hands on both before and after DD was born. And I did feel like The Baby Whisperer in particular (the EASY routine) was quite helpful to develop a loose routine and help with sleep issues.

BUT - I think ultimately you've just got to do what feels right for you and your baby and don't feel you have to match up to how it's described in the books or you will feel like a failure! Go with the flow instead and pick and choose the advice you want to use. And if after reading all the books you just want to chuck them out the window and ignore all their advice (and the advice from friends, PILs, parents etc...) then do it!

Thanks for the book suggestions. I think it is best to trust your instincts and get to know your own baby. The books can influence you in a bad way.

But on the other hand I haven't looked after a baby in about 20 years (my nephews) so haven't a CLUE!

Will get a few from the library but keep an open mind.

mumbot my MW gave me the grant form a couple of weeks ago so maybe contact your MW? I'm putting mine towards paying for the doula!

As for ideal baby xmas pressies...hmmm...can't think of anything really. My ideal pressie would be if someone paid for a cleaner and occasional nanny for me for a year (or 10).

Book suggestions are interesting - thanks for asking donttry! I'll do a bit of reading (who am I kidding - I'm a bookworm so will be reading just about everything my libray has, just like I've been doing with pregnancy/labour/birth ) but am planning on trusting my instincts to a large extent. I'm not a fan of Gina Ford, though I can see how she'd be useful in situations like yours EmLouT.

I'm got a note to ask my midwife for my HIP form on Friday. Also want to ask her about my MatB1 form (anyone else got theirs?). I've spent my HIP on about a million things, but officially it's going towards the hypnobirthing course in January (ie it'll just go into the joint account and be swallowed up by Christmas since we've already paid for that).

I need my MatB1 for work but I also want to apply for my council's real nappy grant. I'm off to a nappuccino next Tues and am actually quite excited [saddo emoticon]

Decided to stick with work (a sickie was tempting Donttry) as am feeling a lot better. And have heaps of work to do!

xxx

Shroomer: can I join you on your post-labour feast? I would just add what Caitni mentioned - chevre?s goat cheese. Oh.... I?m so hungry now!!

AfriBaby: enjoy the 30 ºC. I?m freezing (I?m in Scotland though )

donttrythisathome: my mum read this one (Dr. Spock) 30 years ago and it was her ?bible?. I bought that one and this one for First Time Parents, which is very basic and simple (but I guess that?s what we need as first time parents)

itwascertainlyasurprise I've been doing yoga classes for a couple of weeks now and I really enjoy, I feel really relaxed and stretched

sent my hip forms off a couple of weeks ago was not in the bank on monday but will look again later !!!!

mine is going towards xmas groceries!!!and chocolates!!!LOL and also to keep some in the back for when dd is in hospital for her op on jan 7th so we have a little extra!!!

oh and i too am a huge fan of Tracey Hogg the baby whisperer

I had a 25 week appt with the midwife yesterday and she gave me the Health in Preg form and MAT B1 form. I posted the HIP form off yesterday, and will post MAT B1 off next week when I apply for Mat Allowance.

I'm seeing the mw next Tuesday so need to get my MAT1B form for Maternity Allowance and my HIP form as well.
I read my pregnancy/labour book quite a bit but forgot about the bit after and our NHS classes were cut from 3 to 2 and it was the babycare one that was scrapped so I went to birth and breastfeeding class but yes I didn't plan ahead too well.
I did buy the Supernanny book once DD was here and whilst it's got some good tips (like cutting their nails propped up on your knee facing outwards rather than cutting them facing you so it's more like cutting your own nails) I wouldn't really recommend it. I always thought I quite liked her 'style' before I had my own baby. More how she handles stroppy toddlers who run rings around their ragged parents than how she thinks you should treat babies. I found it was far too strict a routine for my liking (and it's not a patch on GF although I have never read a word of her's, just hearsay!!!)
Anyway my advice would be read or skim a few things but go with your instinct. Feeding on demand seems to be the norm these days if BF and I took a very baby led approach to the first year (yes including baby lead weaning) but really just looking to the baby for signs. If they are tired leave them in peace to nap, or help them along with a push in the buggy or whatever. My MIL used to drive me mad asking 'when is her next feed?' my standard response was 'I don't know, when she's hungry'. My MIL bottle fed and my mother BF but in her day it was strictly 20 minutes each side! As I think I mentioned before I had a lot of milk so DD sped fed and was usually done in 10-15 minutes and I only ever gave her one boob at a time, worked for me.
Sorry I've waffled on, basically agree with the others books are very prescriptive, have a read, but go with your instinct and you'll be fine and try and keep calm. Babies really pick up on stress oh and sing, even if you are rubbish! Babies love the sound of mummy's voice (even if no one else appreciates it) I can still calm DD by singing our wee song (my adapted version of a nursery rhyme!). . . . goes back to boring accounts

Ah good old Doctor Spock, haha, think a lot of parents in the 70s were reading that one (including mine). There was a program on TV last time I was pg, about different approaches to bringing up babies, the strict one was "Leave the baby to cry outside in its pram for 4 hours, the baby is only manipulating you when it cries, don't fall for it." And this poor couple was meant to do that with their newborn. It brought me close to tears! I read a few different books and things on the internet but basically just followed my motherly instincts. I'd say when your baby cries try to comfort it! And the best way is usually the boobs... even if it was just half an hour since the last feed. "Is she feeding AGAIN?" (MIL)

Ok, we need to start a new thread now, I would but I wasn't sure exactly how to word it. How about "Due March 2010 - just because I'm pregnant at Christmas doesn't mean I'm a taxi driver"

Books - what's a book? I was so exhausted with DS' waking and feeding every two hours for three months that I did anything and everything necessary to keep him safe and me sane!

Thanks - getting some great suggestions here. Smac that wasn't waffly at all - really helpful.

I got the MatB1 from the MW at the same time she gave me the grant form.

Right, off to research nappucinnos (intriguing)!

Smac meant to say I LOVE your festive name - had me giggling.

Anna I like that thread title suggestion. Anything that says "I'm pregnant, not the only cab driver in town" . Though as a learner driver I must say my DH is loving the fact that i can finally drive him home. So I'm actually loving the ol' taxi-cabing

I just went to SoHo (last minute invite to lunch) and stuffed myself stupid at my favourite Thai restuarant www.busaba.com/ (website is horrendous and very Unuser friendly). It's unusual in that the tables are big squares and you will almost certainly be seated with other parties around the table. Of course, being British, the different parties around the table must. Not. Ever. Interact (although on occasion we have ) and at first I found it odd to be seated with strangers, but love it now. Also, you don't order 'starter then main' everything just comes out when it's ready. Service is very 'quick' and despite this every time I've been (a LOT) it's full - you're guaranteed to queue outside on Fri/Sat evening (there is also no way to reserve a table).

RIght now, as much as I was craving chips earlier, I probably couldn't eat one if you paid me. What a lovely feeling

As for baby books/preparing for How It WILL be... I really feel that you just have to get yourself into the mindset that you go with the flow. The tiny mites about to enter our lives will literally become the centres of our universes - I even felt to have a conversation with DP a while ago to tell him I KNOW I will be wrapped up in the baby for a good six weeks-2 months and that 'things' (housework, for me to recognise and support DP's emotional needs, eating) will fall by the wayside. I will still love him with all my heart but I KNOW I am going to wrap myself in this new life. I also know I'll emerge the other side of six weeks/2months in love with my son but ready to be 'me' again, to take on the rest of my 'responsibilities' again. I've warned him to try and minimise the 'jelousy' some partners experience when this happens - he appreciates I've been honest and says that the fact I'm thinking about this now and including him is reassuring. Of course, I don't have to worry about gettin baby into a routine that fits in with working life/nursery - else I might feel more anxious about it all.

Oh Caitni - I hope you're not driving as a learner with a drunk DH next to you? He is technically in charge of the car so could get drunk for drunk driving... I mean done for drunk driving! (no I'm not drunk again)

Good advice there from Manda about going with the flow, and talking to the daddy to be. I also had those conversations but the "jealousy thing" never really happened if I remember correctly. That restaurant sounds cool, might check it out sometime! Can I be a nag and correct you, SoHo is in Manhattan, Soho is in London. I was wondering there for a second if you had popped over to New York for some christmas shopping!

Here is the NEW THREAD so come over there instead now everyone!

hi ladies
what a lot of posts!

Ive bought and read the baby whisperer and gina ford but I think Ill give how to enjoy year one a try too.. Im definitly up for some kind of structure to my day!

Manda dream orgasms - I wouldve said this was impossible but since becoming pg Ive woken up from some very pleasurable dreams to find they have had a physical effect..

BPM good luck with house stuff, I really feel for you!!

Hi to newbies - really fascinated in Afribabys news - Id love to be in Africa but maybe not when pg..
loving festive names, need to think of one for myself..

I took the afternoon off and went to Bravissimo to be remeasured - now a 36G!!! A phenomonal increase from my usual 34DD.. they go back though, right?? Then I snuck to debenhams for their 20% off on everything and bought some nice bras. And ill admit that in the changing rooms I did just see if I could fit a 36G on my head. I can.

Mostly this week people have been feeling the need to comment on the fact that 'you dont look 6 months, you should have seen so and so, she was huge..' Actually, Im measuring fine, maybe its because Im 6ft tall that you cant tell so much? Also as wear clothes to the office most of the time they cant see that actually bump is huge and squirmy!

Currently tucked up in bed with cats, as throat killing me and soooo tired.. think I might have caught a virus off one of you!!!

My word, people, do you have no lives to attend to?? It took me half an hour just to read this thread from when I left it last night! Do you have no house work to do, children to mind, important careers to persue, husbands to please etc etc ?

Guten Abend, Afribaby! How strange, another German, and sooooo far away in Africa (have I mentioned I spent 4 months in Uganda? That was an eye opening experience..)

Yes, I am a proud owner of an Amby, bought it secondhand preloved from a lovely MN lady. At present in contains various teddies and other soft toys who apparently enjoy being rocked to sleep in it . Lets wait and see (or rather hope and pray) it is the magic baby soothing device it claims to be. So far I have had 1 screamer, 1 "please put me down, I so want to go to sleep, if only you let me be", and 1 halfway inbetween.

Which comment on baby behaviour brings me to books: read them all, and then let your baby train you !! Because that is what's going to happen, believe you me. They are very good at getting their slaves parents to attend to their every wim. And I mean that in a good way: young babies are NOT manipulative, you do not "make a rod for your own back" if you pick them up and hold them a lot. Some newborns will only sleep on somebody. Some will not like being held (see above..). Also do not worry about looking after a baby: they are actually quite tough and resilient and will not break if initially handled clumsily. Soon you will start doing what has been reported all over MN: swaying back to forth as if you were rocking a baby - with empty arms. Pushing shopping trolley to and fro as if calming a baby when the broccoli in it really wouldn't mind if you stood still. Being able to get up and feed/change/soothe baby without actually becoming conscious (now that's a life saving skill, BTW). Oh I could go for hours.

Sorry, got distracted, books: I could not read Gina Ford's beyond the foreword as I realised v quickly that I am not organised or disciplined enough to follow her advice. I have friends who loved it though, so it really is all about what suits you (I also have one friend who was deeply traumatised by her inability to follow GF's routine and when she eventually gave up had to burn said book in the back garden to have closure ).
I liked Dr Sears The Baby Book and also his Fussy Baby Book which saved my sanity when DS1 almost finished my off being a "high need baby", ah, not "total nightmare", "high need", much more acceptable .

Righto, dinner is about ready, hmm, fishpie. I am another lax pregnacy diet rules follower. Does anybody here know, do French ladies really not get warned off the unpasteurised soft cheeses when they are expecting? I do not love Blue Cheeses all that much, however whenever I am pregnant which admittedly is rather a lot I really resent that I cannot have any . Oh, yes and the odd bit of wine. I reckon I average about 1 unit/week with weeks of abstinence followed by 2 glasses at weekends. Not the offical advice I know, but when I am "off" I am off. Do as I tell you, not as I do...

psst pacific we're over here come and join us - theres yellow snow!

Is everyone still asleep? Very quiet for us today! Am exhausted after another rubbish night's sleep - DS finally slept but I just couldn't get comfortable - anyone else feeling that way?

WE ARE ALL ON A NEW THREAD, SEE MY POST AT 16.58 YESTERDAY, OR SIAMESE'S JUST ABOVE...

Hi everyone I'm new! I love in North London and an hoping to join some clubs etc for me and baby to make some friends!

Are there any other North Londoners out there?? xx

Hello everyone!!!
I haven't been on for ages but I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Will catch up properly soon. Hope everyone is doing great!

hi guys i don't know why i dropped in but i did and saw your posts - we're on a new thread! siamese posts the thread just above....
see you over there!! and happy xmas!! xx