Due Feb 2010 part 2: the second trimester

[CaractacusPotty]

Not sure I am any more qualified, frankly, but hey ho!!

Am 19+5, first pg, no movement yet - MW said this is normal, too early, and placenta is in front, so blocking movement. All the books say 16-22 weeks, which I think is scary for first time mums who dont feel anything til after 20!! Should be revised imo. Was relieved to see dc wriggling like a lunatic on 20 week scan on friday, then cried like a mad pregnant woman at how wonderful it all is

Oh thx guys 4 all your reassurance. Perhaps u can help me with a moral (sort of) dilemma. As u say clapped out I am due for 20 wk scan but as I changed to uch they do 22 wks so am not booked in till 9th oct. However, I still haven't cancelled my 20 wk scan that was booked for royal free. Is it madness to go to it just so I can see all ok? Is it bad as using nhs twice for something that I should have once. Also, might I get in trouble and can't make dp take 2 afternoons of work so he could only come to 1. Am I being really bonkers?

Welcome Woowa

Flying cloud, one of my pals is French and was similarly given a really hard time for putting on 'too much' weight by her gyne. She lost it all within 3 months of breastfeeding though. It might be to do with having obstetric rather than midwife care. Try not to let them get you down.

I've been feeling wrigging for a while but I thought it was wind . I went for a quick check with the MW 10 days ago as I had a rash (viral - nowt to worry about just itchy) and while she was listening for the heartbeat she went 'oooh baby moved' just as I felt a fart... er... movement. It's the only reason I know as it's my first too.

Just got my Natal Hypnotherapy cd set in the post so I'm going to make the most of my afternoon and do the relaxation one. I won't be able to see the mess surrounding me with my eyes closed lol.

Take care everyone

Pops - uch may have cancelled the royal free one for you so you could end up wasting half a day. If you are really worried I would call your MW and she might say to go to the hospital anyway, they can have a quick listen for the heartbeat with a hand held doppler machine. Otherwise you might risk messing up the 20/22 wk scan. Your midwife might even come out to you depending on what your local service is like.

Good luck!

Oooo cross post...

Pops, I say just go to both, you don't get to do many naughty things in pregnancy! I know what you mean about using the service twice but I think putting your mind at ease is more important, dunno what to suggest about which one to take DP to though.

I'd had a 9 week scan due to bleeding so the hospital cancelled my 12 week one - at my 12wk check i begged 3 midwives and an obstetrician to do one anyway, since it could have passed away between 9 and 12 weeks - i was soooo worried. In the end the consultant did it himself -all well. My point being, it's not a waste of the NHS's money to scan people who are worried about their babies - i don't think anyway, though clappedout is possibly right - the NHS has an amazingly efficient communication system as far as I can tell! So it may have been cancelled.

Pops I think you could go to both scans - I doubt that the NHS is 'joined up' enough for the hospitals to talk to each other so that the first gets cancelled. You could take your DP to the second if that's your 'official' scan.

sunnybump I've been feeling 'wind' for a while too and have been wondering whether it might be the little one. Feels nothing like a flutter, more like little blips. I'm 20 weeks and have an anterior placenta so I'm not expecting to feel proper movement for a while yet. Getting very impatient...

flyingcloud it does NOT sound as if you have gained too much weight. I've been using the chart that can be found on this link - if you're a normal BMI you can gain up to 35 pounds, that seems pretty standard in UK and US, maybe not France but you're not French are you?! www.babyyourbaby.org/pdfs/WeightCharts07/WG_red0907.pdf

Woowa that sounds as if you had a rough ride. I had a 9 week scan due to bleeding, then my 12 week scan was booked too early as they amended my due date at the 9w scan so I was only 11 weeks, they scanned me anyway and I went back the following week for the 12w scan. I mentioned to my MW that I was worried about neural tube defects as I hadn't taken folic acid until I was nearly 6 weeks (by then I think it's too late anyway) and she put me in touch with the antenatal test co-ordinator who offered me another scan at 18w to put my mind at rest (it didn't, but that's another story). And I am still booked in for my 21w scan on Friday. I guess it depends which Trust your care is with.

Had my scan today, went fine, ticks in all the boxes which is a relief. The baby was very active throughout wriggling around all over the place, I could hardly feel anything and the sonographer said it was probably because they have a lot of fluid around them at this point. Think I am going to be in for a lot of kicking as it gets bigger!

Flyingcloud - I think I would put it down to differences in culture and not worry too much about your weight, you will know yourself if you have put on loads of excess weight that isn't centered around your tum!

Pops - not sure about the scans, would it be a real pain if you went there and it had been cancelled?

Can't remember if I mentioned it before but in my area they have really cut down on MW appointments in the last year since having DS. I don't think it is a good thing at all, this time I'm missing out on the reassurance of hearing the heartbeat and chatting to the MW regularly. I haven't even seen my regular MW yet as for my first appointment she had the day off and the second time she was on her hols. Is anyone else feeling slightly abandoned?

My MW told me that she is NOT ALLOWED to offer to try listening for the heartbeat until 36 weeks!!!! But she will do it if requested after 25! Seems odd - my mum says that until she was pregnant with her third child in 1983, when she had a USS at 38 weeks for breech, they ONLY listened to the heartbeat - it was the standard way of seeing if there was a baby there and if still alive. Seems SO odd that they aren't allowed to do it anymore. The reason MW gave was that it often can't be heard before 25 weeks, and if they can't hear they HAVE to send for a scan, which just worries us mummies. However, the week after she told me that i went in to emergency maternity unit at 11pm with pain (linked to another medical condition, which could affect baby), and the FIRST thing she did was listen to the heart, which took about 20 seconds to find.

I'm not cross with lovely MWs, but it does seem a bit bizarre how much things have changed!

I had my first MW appointment tody and got to hear the baby's heartbeat which was really reassuring. As soon as she put the doppler head on my lower abdomin the sound came through - amazing! I've got another 2 weeks to go before my scan, but finally starting to feel pregnant. My jeans are starting to get tight round the waist. so it might be time for maternity clothes.

flyingcloud - if you still have a healthy BMI there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Ignore the daft frenchies!

Right so based on all your great advice I am going to call royal free and check if app still booked. If so, just gonna go for it and be naughty!
Scooby that is so nice to hear the heartbeat. All this crap about not listening for the heartbeat does my head in. My gp said if uknow what your doing 99% of time u will find after 16 wks though she also has policy of not listening till 20. Woowa yours tops all though not until 36 wks that is ridiculous! Welcome by the way. Thanks all for your advice. :-)

Btw ktpie great news on your scan x

I was thinking about the baby show the other day and can't decide whether or not to go. To be honest as dd is only 3.6yrs we hardly need to buy anything and I am scared (and dp is more so!) that I will get carried away and see lots of new must haves to purchase.

Ktpie - I agree about the mw thing. I saw mine at 17 weeks and will not see her again until 28 weeks. That seems too long a gap. On the plus side she said it was because I was 'low risk' and she was happy with how everything was going. She also listened to the heartbeat at 17 weeks and found it straight away. 36 weeks is ridiculous. If you don't know there is a baby in there by that stage you are in trouble. What else could be jammed in your ribs and causing your tummy to ripple!

Watercress - thanks for the info on Kidspace. I can't bear those places that won't let you take in a snack or drink. They always sell loads of rubbish and fruit shoots in my experience. Will probably give it a go though when the weather turns colder and report back to you.

Chinook - It is a long gap, too long I think.

Thanks Pops!

Woowa - is your MW particularly new or something? All the ones I have had have been very well practised at finding the heartbeat, so I can't imagine there would be that many who would need sending for a scan, and surely out of those that do go for a scan for some of them there will really be a problem.
36 weeks is ridiculous, by then a fair number of babies will already be born!

Thanks everyone for your kind words - feeling much better now!

Pops - good luck with it all.

flyingcloud If it's any consolation at all, I gained around 40lbs with DD and had a 6 hour labour that seemed fairly painless compared to what I was expecting. I know this is only one case, but maybe it shows that it won't make your labour difficult.

I'm feeling movements every now and then but most days I don't feel anything. The baby did kick the MW through the doppler at my 15 week check though

I'm really starting to struggle with my back. I'm not at the MW again until 24 weeks (I'm 18 now) so I don't know whether to call her inbetween. I think part of the problem is that I put on a lot of weight quickly last time and my muscles are probably only just recovering. By the end of the day sometimes, it's just so tight I can barely bend forward.

Hi all - I gained about 4 stone!!! with each of my 2 dss and I had really quick labours. (too quick really both at home and DH delivered DS2 in 20 minutes). Noone here at NHS has ever told me I was overweight or anything. I think everyone is different.

I was supposed to have my 2nd scan yesterday but they cancelled it the day before (no doctors)- so it's today now at an inconvenient tme and I have had to get afterschool childcare and generally stress around and presumably wait for ever as they squeeze in 2 days worth of appointments into one day.

Am 21 weeks and in the night had terrible period type pains on one side - so much so I even looked for a paracetamol (but it was out of date so thought that was maybe a bit far). Stopped after a couple of hours but really horrid. I think it is maybe stress...

For back pain it is surely worth speaking to someone - my incredibly slim and fit friend had back problems in her pg no.2 and got physio which transformed her life. If u also have a small dc you can't be straining your back for the next months.

I saw my midwife at 16 weeks and I'm not due see her again until 25 weeks, however I do have the 20 week scan with a midwife so it's not like I'm not seeing anyone. Quite suits me though, I'm sick of going to all this appointments on my own and I'm looking forward to DH coming to the one at 25 weeks .

Motherof2boys I agree that it's worth trying to see someone for the back pain, up here they offer everyone a physio class thing where they give you exercises and advice which really helped me.

I had a really wierd dream last night, think it was brought on by watching a program where people got their heads lopped off, Dh didn't fair very well in the dream - and I daren't go back to sleep for three hours after .

I have been feeling some lovely movements, it's a bit better now that I've felt them and I know it's not just wind . I'm hoping my Bean performs when DH come home and kicks him , we've got three and a half weeks to practice!

Hi all

Been good to read your news and how you're all getting on. Been checking in but uncharacteristically keeping quiet!

Have my scan tomorrow and still the internal debate of whether or not to ask about the gender...guess I have to make a decision soon! I think I'm a natural 'no' but DH is a yes (but happy not to if I decide so). The thing which is swaying me is that DS is absolutely CONVINCED it's a girl and won't even entertain the idea it could be a boy. So we thought it might help him if we find out, so we can prepare him for the outcome! What do you all think?

AngelaCarleen-I have had very weird dreams this pregnancy, including one last night about my baby being the size of a mouse (which it probably is right now) and me losing it in bedclothes, drawers etc. Come to think of it I remember having similar dreams after my dd was born...I'll stop there I think.

grin-how old is your ds?My dp definately does not want to know the sex as he wants a surprise, and I know he is secretly hoping for a boy. My dd is only 22 months so I don't think she will be bothered about which flavour her little bro/sis is, might be good to prepare him though, hope he's not too disappointed if it's a boy!

grin - my scan is tomorrow too and we have decided to find out the sex if possible. Until a few weeks ago I was against finding out but both dd and dp want another girl so I think it is best to prepare them both. We have also never agreed on a boys name we both like, so we will need the next few months to argue it out! I am assuming it is a boy as most people I know seem to have one of each. Good luck tomorrow. I shall check in tomorrow night to see what you decided.

I remember someone recently saying they have had a bad cough. I have had one for nearly 3 weeks now and it is showing no signs of improving. Can anyone suggest anything I can do or take to make it go please?

Yep I'm with you on the weird dreams, from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Clappedout - he's just over 2 and a half. I think he likes the idea of a girl (perhaps for novelty or cos his best friend is one??) but in reality in a few years I think he'd like a brother. I think it's more that he just reckons he's predicted right rather than that he's desparate for a sister. Oh it's all too tricky, I'm rubbish at decisions even when they're just about which ice cream to get!
I think you're right about your dd, she will just be excited that a real live baby has come to join in!

ktpie - don't know if MW is new, but she said she'd get struck off for trying to listen for heartbeat! I just assumed that must be standard - now thanks to you all, i know better! Maybe it's this NHS trust, or everyone else but her breaks the rules...don't know. Anyway, am at the point when I seem to have appointments coming out of my ears for the next 20 weeks (have complicating health factor and low placenta) plus i'm growing scarily quickly now, so worrying days appear to be over!

Anyone else feeling their uterus going hard? I don't remember it this early with ds, but I wasn't nearly as clued up about my body in general back then. I do wonder if it is contracting more because ds still breastfeeds.

DH actually felt a wee kick last night which was nice. I felt a couple on the outside with my hand as well. It will be ages before ds has the patience to sit still long enough though.

Not much else to report really.