Due November 2009 - we just can't stop chatting!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

A new thread!

We'll be buying a gift for DS and DD from the new baby. I think it's an important thing to do, and the other thing that is suggested and apparently v important is that when your DC comes into the hospital, that you're not holding the baby and so are free to give a big cuddle.
They can then go up to the cot and see the baby - I was planning to have the pressie in the cot for DS to be 'given' by his brother. DD is 15 so it's less of an issue!
We have a book called 'What's in your tummy, Mummy' and it's been great. It shows the actual size of the baby at each stage too.

pav I wouldn't worry too much about the bedroom business, it sounds like she already thinks of it as her bedroom. Maybe you can reinforce that with the odd comment about you and Daddy having to sleep in her room for a little longer whilst the paint is drying etc.? All we can do is try and get things sorted, but life doesn't always work out that way.
This will be the first of our 3 that isn't born into a building site!

We've bought DD one of those vtech indestructible cameras from the baby. Friends of ours also said that it helps to have lots of little presents for the elder child ready so that they can get something too when friends and relatives come around with gifts for the new arrival. So DH went out and got the box set of Mr Men books 'cos he she loves those and she can get a new one every day for a while that way.

Gosh we sound organised! I wish it were the case.... we just had some Amazon vouchers to spend!

SB so sorry to hear your SPD has got to that stage, but your physio is right, rest is the only tool in the box to ease it. I was really bad with it last pg, but bizarrely I found that in the last few weeks it really improved - whether DD's descent had stabilised things or not I don't know. As far as giving birth goes, Scarlotti's advice with the ribbon, whilst sounding a bit odd and anal is a really excellent idea. My SPD was way more painful than syntocin-induced contractions because DD was well and truly stuck right in that part of my pelvis. They tried to get a blood sample from her head to confirm foetal distress and put me in stirrups and I just couldn't cooperate - the ribbon would have been a visual godsend at that stage (and especially if you have an epidural and don't have the pain to warn you or others when your knees are too far apart). I ended up with an emcs but that's nothing to do with the spd. I wouldn't recommend a cs if you think you can avoid it. By the by, a friend of mine also suffered, like me, quite badly in pg #1 and long afterwards too. She had #2 2 years later and birthed in a squatting position and her spd seems to have righted itself perfectly after the birth and she's had no further problems.

I was reading up last night about VBACs and also since chatting to my neighbours about their experience of a 'free' birth I would really like a home water birth. But I know that with my mum's history of 4 sections that being 30 mins from hospital is not the wisest choice. My previous experience, although not overly bad, still haunts me in terms of people not listening to my wishes and feeling forced into things and I just know that it's in my nature not to offend or go against the grain so the same may happen again. Must Be Strong. Being a VBAC I think I'll be back on labour ward instead of the midwife's unit and banned from the birthing pool so I'm really reluctant to look forward to it!

Thanks scarlotti and hobnob for your comments. I wish I had known when I had dd about the ribbon thing as what with the effects of the epidural and the throws of labour, I didn't really say anything and they put me in stirrups and all sorts and it was horrendous! The only thing that worries me this time is that I am as bad already as I was when I had dd and I am getting extrememly concerned about actually being able to open my legs at all! Will have to just wait and see how things go.

Is anyone else REALLY clumsy?? I have done 3 REALLY stupid things in the last weeks...
1)I knocked a glass of water over in the middle of the night when we were on holiday and tripped the electricty in the whole farm house!
2)I punctured the gas in the freezer while trying (stupidly) to de-ice it with a rather sharp knife and we had to buy a new fridge freezer.
3) I just vacuumed over the wire when vacuuming dd's bedroom! Had to go and buy a new one as had to clean up the mess I made!

We will be buying dd a present from the baby too. Some friends have also said about buying her something too so she doesn't feel left out! The idea about not holding the baby when they come to see you in hospital is a very good one too. Will try and remember that.

Hello all! What a lot to catch up on! I've bee nto see a friend for the weekend. She lives near Warwick (or so I thought) and a journey that should take 1 hour 20 mins took me nearly 3 hours! Firstly it took me 40 minutes to travel 1 mile trying to get off at junction 15 on the M40 near Warwick. Then the sat nav packed in and it had told me I was 8 minutes from my destination just before I got off the motorway. So I thought 'well I think she lives near Warwick so I'll head there'. Big mistake! I got totally lost in Warwick and couldn't see any signs for her village. Then my phone ran out of credit so I couldn't ring her for directions!!!! In the meantime I was turning into a boil-in-the bag fish parcel as my car does not have air con and it was very hot. Luckily DH rang my phone and he guided me to where I should go! By the time I got there I was in bits. Besides that I had a good time and saw 'the Proposal' at the cinema which was nice and spent money in Blumin Marvellous in Leamington Spa.

Presents from the baby are good and I love the idea of a camera! might pinch that idea for DS1's present.

Scarlotti the ebay situation sounds a nightmare, are you insured through PayPal in some way?
In terms of preparing older dcs with books, There's a House Inside Mummy is a favourite here, and also 'Changes' by Anthony Browne I would recommend for any older child who really likes pictures/ visual gags. DS absolutely loves it, though the atmosphere is quite strange and surreal for lots of the book- all comes right at the end though when baby is bought home!
ds has decided that he has his own baby- he has called her Emily. She is only imaginary, but still he is a very neglectful parent and only remembers her every few days- suddenly says 'Oh where's Emily?'. Yesterday we 'found' her under the sofa, covered in fluff, so after we had rescued her, fed her, winded her and put her on the cushion next to us to sleep while we watched X factor, I gave him a bit of a lecture about being a better parent. Today she is forgotten again!
SB your SPD sounds horrendous, much sympathy.

Hobnob the camera was an idea we had. DS loves taking photos with my mobile phone.

Hi all,

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend! It has taken me ages to catch up and now Ive forgotten what I was going to say, stupid pregnancy brain!

I've had a lovely 4 days, dh has been off work and we had ds' birthday on Thursday. He got loads of presents and was totally overwhelmed by it all but had a lovely day. Took him to the farm on Saturday with his little NCT friends and cousins and he rode on a pony, so sweet!

*wook, hope your ds is ok after the stairs incident,as are you!

I am planning a home birth but am keeping an open mind about potentially transferring to hospital. It is only 5 mins away but if I can have this baby at home I would much prefer it. House is detached though so don't need to worry about noise! Just wondering what to do about ds though.

Erika your post about naughty food has made me feel so much better! I have been eating so much cake and biscuits and chocolate, I can't stop myself! Seem to have gone off healthy food but am trying to force down a bit of fruit when I can!

Hey all! sorry been missing.Have had a week from hell so just catching up on news.. 3 sets of guests, 83 lots of washing and on top of that a burglary...YES in Geneva where I thought I was the safest..They took all my jewellery and it is really upsetting ...some really old heirlooms and DH's presents to me.. I feel awful and sad and want to cry all the time..think its due to sheer tiredness.

Going to catch up on all the other posts so speak later.

All my sympathy to SPD sufferers..am so with you.

Omg poor you sleepless thats awful. you have every right to be upset. I hope something is being done to find all your precious and sentimental things. Sending a big hug your way. x

Sleepless poor you - that is awful for you to go through. I'm sending you a big hug too. Burglary is horrible, esp when they take precious things. I feel so sad for you

sleepless so sorry to hear about the burglary.

Hello there ladies.

Hobnob my cousin had a home water birth recently. She's had a really bad experience with two of her others, so I thought she was bonkers to be honest, but she said it was by far the best she's had.

Southernbelle I hope things get better, or at least don't get any worse

Becky sorry to hear about your dreadful journey, but glad to hear that you had a good time when you got there. What was the film like?? I really want to see it

Helips hope your DS had a good birthday Bless him... I remember my first pony ride... I'm still eating incredably guiltily - though I had salmon again yesterday and it was lovely!

Sleepless NO that's terrible I'm so so sorry to hear it...

UGH my hips are killing me today. Only got a few hours sleep, if that, as after half an hour or so I'd wake up in agony from leaning on my side. I'm so much more comfortable on my back, but know I shouldn't spend too much time on it

Here's something for you to laugh at though - I'm in a total state of shock : My 12 year old brother (who is JUST 12) has a girlfriend... And she's 14!!!!! I feel SO weird about it. I mean I started having SEX at 14. And this is my baby BROTHER. shudders

We had a friend over for dinner last night, which was really nice, and he turned up with one of the mini bottles of wine - the one glass ones - for me I REALLY enjoyed it; it was White Zinferdell (Can't spell for sheep) which is by far my favorite, and I thought it was so sweet of him to remember. But did find out just how low DP had been feeling last week, and I'm quite upset that he didn't tell me... Spoke to him about it and he said it was because he didn't want to upset me, which I appriciate, but still... Wish he'd told me...

Morning all,

sleepless so sorry to hear about your burglary, how awful for you. Happened to me and dh when we lived in a flat, they stole our passports, some jewelery and all of dh's vinyl collection which was worth thousands, some of the vinyl you can't even get anymore as was special edition stuff. I remember being really freaked out, must feel worse when you think you live somewhere safe plus have those pregnancy hormones to deal with. Big hugs to you.

Erika i get painful hips in the night when I sleep on one side for too long. Have you tried sleeping with a pillow between your legs? Seems to help a bit.

Morning all

sleepless sorry to hear your news, it's v distressing when you've been burgled.

Erika will echo helips on the pillow. Try and use one that is thick enough to keep your hips aligned so when you're on your side your legs are hip width apart. Works wonders!

The Mum of the lady I bought the hammock popped round yesterday - turns out she left the pole in the wrong street! The people in that house though have gone away and have builders coming today. She was very sweet though and is doing all she can to get it back - it's a bit of a soap opera to be honest, but am hoping I still get my pole!!

Am off up to Heathrow tonight for a course for work, then we're up to the in-laws in Aberdeen on Thurs. DH has to meet me at Gatwick Thurs lunchtime with the DC's and all their stuff packed. Am sure it will all be fine but am a bit of a control freak so am worried!! have had to make lists to remember what I have to take where!
On the plus side, I get to have 3 nights in a hotel now with a double bed all to myself Let's hope it's a comfy one with extra pillows!

Thanks you lot.....am still freaked out but sorting out insurance claims etc is keeping me busy..Hugs very much appreciated IF DHs vinyl went he would be devastated too Helips..what a mare.

First day at nursery today..we stayed together for 2 hours..next time will leave her as she was a bit clingy.DD was pretty good all in all.

Sleep is getting tougher isn't it??? moving around in bed is so painful..have any of you tried lavendar oil on pillows?

Scarlotti v jealous of your 3 nights away don't worry about DH..it will all work out..and if things are missing just don't stress..be calm you're preggers..

just realised we are only 10-12 weeks away! yikes

Hi everyone.
Broodzilla - this is so horrible for you. I don't think any of us can know exactly how you feel as none of us are in your home and part of your relationship but I am sure we are all thinking of you. For what it's worth though, I would definitely second the idea of going home for a few days but definitely not for the birth. It just seems such a radical move to cut your DH out of the beginning of your new DC's life and I wonder if it would be a step so far it would be hard to return from there. You might find that after a couple of days being fussed over by your rellies and away from your DH some of your stress and upset has faded a little bit.
Homebirth vs hospital birth - I am going for hospital as I don't really have any negative feelings about hospital and I actually feel reassured by the 'medical' environment. Seems like in any case you are in there for so little time so I will be back in my own bed before I know it.
Yesterday DH and I watched the NCT DVD we had been sent when we signed up for membership. It was quite useful and thought-provoking but most of all I'm so glad we watched it as DH was totally gobsmacked by the footage of an actual birth. He was horrified by the animal noise, the degree of pain involved, and the amount of gunk on the baby after it came out. Then he shouted "it's so wrinkly" when they showed the new baby's face! Not sure what planet he has been living on but thank heavens he was shocked into some sort of reality well in advance of the actual birth!

Broodzilla, how are you and how is the situation with your husband? Did you make any decisions?
sleepless, big hug from me as well. If it helps: One of my friends had the same problem as well and they got their stuff back!
About the sleeping problem: In my case it is getting better. But it is more a getting used to it. Since a couple of weeks, I'm having problems to fall asleep and I used to get angry about it (and my stupidly sleeping husband), now I'm used to it and I can deal with it better. Just tonight I realised that I hadn't slept between 3 and 5 but it didn't feel like 2 hours at all. It was like being half asleep and I think it is partly because I "accepted" it. (That does sound stupid but as long as it works to keep me happy...).
I had an antenatal appointment today and met the third GP in this surgery. (So far I had not been impressed). My first impression of this lady was not so good, when she called me she only said my surname, no Mrs or Ms which I found rather rude. But she turned out to be really nice (and she said that I looked just perfect ). So everything is fine, she explained and showed me the position of the baby (and my previous guesses about it were right), which is head down already. And about my varicose vain in vulva - problem (if any of you get that too), there is nothing you can really do about it, sleeping more on your left than right might help, maybe one of those very tight panties (with a bit of leg) that keep everything together could be worth a trial (I don't think so because I think it will feel uncomfortable at the bump) and a position on all four or kneeling and leaning on a chair with your upper body to read or watch tv might help too. In this position the bump hangs down and doesn't push the main vein (This position seems to be good for lots of problems).

Hi everyone

Just back from my GTT. It was OK in the end. Had the usual trouble getting blood out of me but after a couple of attempts they managed to get some out. One thing I didn't expect was about half an hour after I'd had the gunk I started to feel shaky, sweaty and dizzy and really thought I was going to throw up in the waiting room. It passed in about 10mins but I wish I hadn't sent DH home. Would've been nice to have someone there. Fingers crossed results will be OK.

Back to work tomorrow. Ugh!

So sorry to hear about your burglary sleepless, and on top of all those visitors! I would feel so violated and unsettled after that - take things easy, won't you?

Erika I second all those advocating pillows between the knees at night. And you may also need them between your ankles too to keep the alignment good. Last pg we had a cheapo mattress and I had a constant bruise in my left hip from sleeping on a stickie outy spring. After DD was born I made it my mission to find enough money for a decent mattress before I got pg again and we now have a blissful thick thing with a layer of memory foam on top which I find really supportive. I never stop thanking myself for persuading DH to get it! In fact, it moulds so well that I sometimes wake up lying almost on my stomach and wee bean doesn't seem to complain

I was so with DH yesterday I thought I would explode. I've come to the conclusion that he is inherently a lazy bones (the polite way of saying what I was thinking ). He does write lists of his jobs from time to time, as he did this weekend, but he gets so overwhelmed by them that he reverts to sitting on his arse playing online golf or watching cricket, etc. etc. I'm so pumped to get everything moving before I get too disabled/busy with work that I've reached the end of my quiet tolerance of this. I really wanted to shout expletives at him yesterday, but I just took myself off to Tescos to do the weekly shop instead (after cleaning all the gloss paintwork in the house - yes, I am well and truly nesting - and doing 3 loads of washing and taking DD for a walk to the shop in the rain to get her out of his tetchy hair). He did get my drift and was sorting things out in the garage when I got back, but earlier he'd refused to go out and buy the shelves which we need so we were limited in what we could get done AS USUAL. He's promised to go tonight, but since today is my day off I could have had the whole thing sorted by tonight if he'd just agreed to pop out for half an hour.... grrrrrr. And then he gets downtrodden by my nagging and needs an escape like another game of golf - if he'd just DO something then we'd all be happy campers!

No wonder he has trouble sleeping and I'm out like a light on the sofa by 10pm!

Rant over.

Hobnob - don't get me started on my D - at least yours recognises hehas jobs to do. I have had the children all weekend (fri to tonight) on my own, he gets home bout 6.30 - has to check his fantasy football on computer b4 settling in front of the tv (tho his does walk the dog), whilst he was sat on his arse I cleaned out the garage (askedhim t d it months ago and was fed up of the mess) and also the garden shed. During the day I had cleaned the house, includng washing the floors andmowed the lawn. But apparently HE was tired - aren't we all, but unfortunately if I sat in front of the tv there's no on else around who would do anything! Bloody men!

Lemontop - glad your GTT was ok, makes me feel abit better about mine on thurs - will watch out for feeling dodgy!

Re getting sibling a present - we got DD a doll with bouncy chair so that she ha a 'baby' too. I remember her walking in, DS was laid at end of bed, she pointed to him said 'baby' then saw the toys at the end of the ward and promptly went off to play! Be interesting to see how she copes this time, she'll be just under 3 and alot more aware than she was at 19m, DS will be 17m and is such a lazy thing I thik he'll be oblivious to anything - so long as someone feeds him and changes his nappy he seems to be happy!

On an entirely different note, does anyone have any recommendations for getting a winter coat? I made do last time with a fleece, but I'd like a decent coat this time. I tried ebay but the one I got was very tired and faded looking compared with its photo so I'd rather re-list it than wear it. I was thinking of getting something like a pea coat that would allow bump to grow but would also do for afterwards too. Has anyone seen any nice ones?

I think I meant swing coat... shows how much I know. I tried on this ones but the shoulders looked odd on me.

Just popping in to say hello

I'm not feeling good today, my back is very painful and made worse by sitting and I've been getting a pain in my head

Just wanted to say sleepless I really feel for you and hope that they catch whoever did this to you and retrieve your things.

hobnob I'm going to make do with long cardy's and a mac I got from eBay that was from Primark - I'm on the south coast though and agree you definitely need something warm to guard that Aberdonian freeze! Maybe Primark could come up with the goods? I thought the jacket I was buying was maternity but it was just a size 18 - does the job though and fits quite well.

My DH used to be like that a lot so I do sympathise. After 5 years of me saying that his lethargy was not normal he went to the docs and has been given a mild dose of AD's. It's to kick start his own brain into producing the right amount. The change is noticable and has made a huge difference. Don't get me wrong, he still chooses the sofa and tv over active stuff, but is more up for doing the jobs that are needed now and doesn't seem to need the same level of sleep as a teenager anymore

Found out today that I'm unlikely to get an extension to my contract for the next 6 weeks Means that I now won't be earning for the next 6 weeks and increasing the maternity leave pot. Am hoping to find some bits of work to help, but worse case is that I'll use all my savings and only get about 3 months off with the baby.
Will have to wait until later in the week now to see if any other avenues I have come up with anything.

Oops, lemontop sorry, meant to say glad your test went well