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Due November 2009 - second trimester thread part 2

1000 replies

skorpion · 25/06/2009 10:44

Hope this works

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
skorpion · 27/07/2009 09:32

Welcome misssese!

I'm getting 6 months off on full pay, then 3 at SMP. I'm also contemplating taking another 3 free of pay, but it all depends on the state of our finances. Not very encouraging at the moment... I hoped I would be able to build a portfolio of clients to keep me going, but time is running extremely fast from me.

OP posts:
lemontop · 27/07/2009 09:58

Hi misssese I'm in Gipsy Hill, south east London.

skorpion 6 months on full pay is amazing! I think I get 8 weeks at 90%, then 12 weeks at half pay & stat, then 12 more weeks of stat, although I'm sure it's 9 months with some income so I really must check! I'm finishing on Sep 23rd but am on 6 week hols at the mo (teacher) so only go back for about 5 weeks as i have to take my hols before my mat leave starts. I'm going back when the baby is about 9 months, hopefully part time. Still haven't worked out how we'll afford that but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a lottery win!

Off to Bluewater shopping in Kent today as DP still hasn't got his wedding suit and I haven't got any shoes. Fingers crossed it'll all be sorted today.

scarlotti · 27/07/2009 09:59

welcome missese

beepbeep suffering badly from constipation this end so you're not alone I try not to take medicines to deal with it unless I have to. Diet can work wonders - try eating half a bag of grapes a day - that worked wonders for me early on in the pg. Also, I find if I eat muesli or porridge for breakfast that keeps me fairly regular - must be the oats so maybe flapjacks would work just as well?!
It's uncomfortable and quite painful so do speak to your mw. Make sure you're drinking plenty too as baby will dehydrate you and that can be a cause.

I can only afford to take 6-7 months off but would love to take more. I can only get statutory SMP from the govt so the rest has to be from savings. My last day will probably be October 9th (36 weeks) - as much as I'd love to have more time before it will just take away from time with the baby so it's a no brainer really. Past experience tells me I won't make another week at work at that point!

Helped out with the fundraising breakfast cafe for the church on Sat morning, so was on my feet cooking and serving for about 4 hours. I have suffered since!! Shows how unfit I am! DH has now banned me from doing the one at the end of Sept!

skorpion · 27/07/2009 10:14

lemontop - yes, that's the blessing of working for the University. The pay may not be the most competitive in the market but they do look after us. I'm very grateful.
Ha, funnily enough we have the same plan - lottery - when it comes to finances.

OP posts:
skorpion · 27/07/2009 10:20

beepbeep I'd recommend dried fruit, prunes are my favourite, can't understand why people hate them. Also, linseed. It is my nan's old remedy. Pour a tiny bit of boiling water over some seed and leave to soak, drink or eat with a spoon, it will look revolting, all gloopy and frogspawn-like, but it does work. Or for less revolting look, soak in some orange juice.

OP posts:
misssese · 27/07/2009 10:25

I only get 6 weeks at 90% then get statutory, its terrible really!! I have alot of holiday to take to which im putting on to the start of maternity leave so finish work end of aug but maternity leave doesnt start til end of sept!!
Im based east london and due 7th nov when is everyone due date does anyone know what they are having?

skorpion · 27/07/2009 10:30

I think this is the latest count on pink versus blue. I'm due on the 29th so am a bit behind. Is this your first? You can add yourself to the list if you like.

BOY
Ninjacat
ErikaMaye
WizzyWoo
Turtle
Broodzilla
Tamlin
Kaster37
Pavlovthecat
S car lotti
Pedalmonster

GIRL
Netha (90%)
DeathByDora
Weston
Koumak (with healthy scepticism)
EasyEggs
Roomac
Wook
Trikken
ursigurke
Tabbykat (probably)
Sleeplessinthecity
Southernbelle77 (75%)
Chocotastic
Skorpion
Raggie

SURPRISE!
BeckyBendyLegs
BeepBeep
Tigger32
Fruitpastels
Helips
Fairybex
lemontop
PootleTheFlump
Funtimewincies

OP posts:
misssese · 27/07/2009 10:45

Im having a girl!

skorpion · 27/07/2009 10:47

Congrats! Girls seem to rule then.

OP posts:
eeyore2 · 27/07/2009 10:59

Hi everyone,
Can I add myself to the list? Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I found out at the end of last week that I will get additional pay on top of statutory maternity for six months and am so so happy. I have no idea how long to take off on leave though - it's my first baby and I just don't know how I'm going to feel and what I'm going to do about childcare. So have signed up for the full 52 weeks and will work out when to go back later on in the year.

BOY
Ninjacat
ErikaMaye
WizzyWoo
Turtle
Broodzilla
Tamlin
Kaster37
Pavlovthecat
S car lotti
Pedalmonster

GIRL
Netha (90%)
DeathByDora
Weston
Koumak (with healthy scepticism)
EasyEggs
Roomac
Wook
Trikken
ursigurke
Tabbykat (probably)
Sleeplessinthecity
Southernbelle77 (75%)
Chocotastic
Skorpion
Raggie

SURPRISE!
BeckyBendyLegs
BeepBeep
Tigger32
Fruitpastels
Helips
Fairybex
lemontop
PootleTheFlump
Funtimewincies
Eeyore2

Ponkey · 27/07/2009 11:40

thanks everyone. It is not easy here I think. I regret a bit not having my baby in my home country, Belgium, where we get 3 months full pay then a few weeks at 60%, plus a gift from the government of 2000 euros at the birth and 'family allocations' each month until the kid is 18 of 100 euro to help. And people are still complaining ;)

I'm taking 6 months leave here and my company doesn't help at all so just get 6 weeks at 90% and then SMP. Will be just enough to pay the rent. Plus I won't be able to go back to work as working until 7 or 8 everyday so does my husband. Aaaaaargh I knew I'd be worried but now I'm a bit scared. What is eveyone's plan after mt?

@missese I'm in (North) London and due the 5th November. I'm expecting a little boy.

Ponkey · 27/07/2009 11:44

Ah also, never worked with these people as I'm not a mum yet but maybe this might be helpful to some of us: www.workingmums.co.uk/
I've heard good things about them.

helips · 27/07/2009 11:50

Crikey, where to start!

Welcome missese and congrats on the girl! I am due on the 9th Nov, me and dh's wedding anniversary! so hoping it doesn't come that day! I don't live in London but just down the road in good ol' Essex

beep beep I suffered terribly with constipation when pregnant with ds so I feel your pain! Not suffering this time round although recently I have been getting piles very uncomfortable and sure only gonna get worse, sob!

lemontop good luck with the wedding on Saturday, how exciting! Hope you get all the things you need in Bluewater (i love it there!)

tamlin Hope your little boy is feeling much better today, you must have been so worried about him, poor little mite. I's so horrible when they are ill, makes you feel really helpless.

I am getting better everyday after my bout of the pig flu, just got a sore throat but at least my cough has gone. Now if I can just get ds to wake up later than 5.30am I might feel more human!

skorpion · 27/07/2009 11:57

ponkey I wish I knew... I find planning for the birth difficult enough, let alone for 9 - 12 months after that. My ideal plan would be to reduce the hours I work for the Uni and obtain enough clients to work at home (I just qualified as a book-keeper and that's what I do). We're quite far away from family - about an hour's drive - and I cannot expect IL or my Mum to babysit full time. I'm hoping my day job situation will be accommodating enough. Will need to calculate the pay/nursery costs balance to see what to do... So complicated, isn't it? You just can't be a woman and not have to compromise in life...
Thanks for the link.

OP posts:
Koumak · 27/07/2009 12:53

Hello everyone!

I returned from friends wedding back home. It was fab. But I am so knackered. I think I had 10 hours of sleep in the last few days. I have been trying to catch up with all the news sorry this will be long.

Bilingual? Yes definitely! I speak to ds in Czech and dh in Slovak. And ds has always had Czech/Slovak aupairs etc to enhance the languages spoken at home and as has always attended playgroups or nursery etc so he obviously knows English BUT may I point out that he only speaks English although he understands all 3 languages perfectly!!! We speak to him in one language and he answers in English. So there is something we are obviously doing wrong here but I am sure that he eventually will be able to build on that. He was always a late talker and his dust mite allergy has been causing him a mild hearing loss in one ear so it is probably related to that as well? The funny thing is when he stays with his grandparents he has to communicate with them so it is rather funny but after weeks of one language he hardly ever picks up any new words but his younger cousins speaks English fluently?. Oh well. He will get it eventually I am sure?

Broodzilla I want to hear your rant on Kiddicare as I never had any problems with them (yet) and have even been recommending them. Ooops. What happened? I had really bad experience with twoleftfeet. So happy they are ?dead? now!?

Ninjacat congratulations on you engagement! How exciting.
I am sorry the situation with your ex is on-going but you dp sounds lovely!

Ponkey at you not showing yet and glad you like UCHL! Come to the class on 26 slept I will be dragging dh along.

I would love to take a year out but seriously doubt that will happen. I have really minimal maternity pay from current job so not really different if on ordinary or additional maternity pay or not paid at all the last three months. So hoping to start the leave as late as possible. Preferably the birth! Depends how dh feels about it later on. I stayed at home for just over a year with ds and that was only on MA but was used to less money then and now have ds to consider, his carer and bigger house etc. So we will see how it goes. I never was or will be one of those women who could only spend £50 on grocery shopping a week. Mine is at least a hundred but usually more!

Tamlin your poor poor ds. Your last sentence was so true it made me cry. And as I am at work ? was given some funny looks. Can?t ready newspaper on the tube in the morning now as get very emotional?

Lemontop your wedding is so soon now! I hope it all goes well. My advice is try to enjoy it. It will be over so quickly!

It?s our 5 years wedding anniversary on Friday. DH asked what I would like to get/do. I said SLEEP!!!

Tigger32 wow at your easywalker I love it. OMG it looks exactly like my mountain buggy expect it isn?t. I never thought I would say this but it might even be better! I didn?t even know it existed! Where did you find it?

Beepbeep have been spending a lot of time ?onthehighstreet? yet to checkout?

Welcome Misssese
There are few of us in london. I am north. Where about are you? Congratulations on a little girl!

I am trying to get to grips that we are going to be parents again. We are having a DAUGHTER. We are not having a baby but a daughter. Do you know what I mean? I think the first time around I always thought about ds as a baby. A little thing that we will love to bits. But he is a boy now. Still young but already independent and opinionated. Can?t begin to imagine what she will be like!

scarlotti · 27/07/2009 12:59

Tamlin have kept meaning to wish your DS well every time I pop in here but keep forgetting, so apologies and hope he's on the mend.

To everyone with the dilemma of work/no work/when to go back etc. - we're all in the same boat for starters so you're not alone, and the main thing to remember is that you do what you have to to survive as a family - at whatever level that is for YOUR family. Babies do not sit at nursery/childminders and compare each other's home lives. What they know is the only life they know, and therefore it is normal.
I've struggled with the guilt of putting dc's in childcare and various other options over the years and all it does is upset you, NOT the baby. Mine are both happy and content, which is all you can hope for.
I for one, this time around, will be aiming to spend the time I have at home enjoying my new son rather than beating myself up about the fact I won't have as long as I've have liked with him full time.

Just think we should spend more energy enjoying our newborns than worrying about what we're not giving them - and give ourselves a break

ErikaMaye · 27/07/2009 13:54

Sorry I haven't been around much, its been a bit crazy here recently. Thank you so much, Ninjacat, for your support on the other board, I don't think I could have kept sane without your input!!!

I promise I'll read through and catch up soon!!!

6 month mark today - its gone so bloody quickly, I can't quite believe it...

sleeplessinthecity · 27/07/2009 14:12

Wow..what great advice guys...I'm thinking of teaching Bea some french on a daily basis..but just worried she will stop talking altogether..

tamlin hope DS gets better soon..
ninja congratulations!!!

As for sex..just can't deal with it..children and pregnancies are the ultimate form of contraception. We are always tired.!What is like with 2??????

am officially huge...even my bras don't fit me from the last time..

As for SPD...am dreading the whole stirrup thing...

misssese · 27/07/2009 14:29

Im based hackney i dont have any pregnant friends in london so its nice to chat to you guys!! A few question ( hope you dont mind? its my first pregnancy and feel totally clueless) when do antenatal classes start and does your midwife arrange it or should i be doing it myself??Im 25 weeks. Also is anyone else on constant stretch mark watch iv been applying creams and oils non stop and keep checking my tummy to see if i have any ( non so far ) but im really worried about getting them ?? I no its mad !!

Broodzilla · 27/07/2009 15:15

Tamlin Aww, your poor DS! Hope he's all better now. It must be so hard to try to keep yourself together for the little one when I'm sure you're panicking inside!

Koumak Glad you had a good time back home!

Ponkey I can't believe you're still not showing - I look like a Moomin! Doesn't help that I'm carrying ridiculously low and the bean is transverse... I look comical really...

Lemontop ooooh, exciting times! Hope you find everything you need and have a nice chilled shopping trip. It's so much easier for men, isn't it? There's only so many different types of suits...

Missese Welcome to the madhouse!

Weston Sounds like you had a nightmare, but still managed to enjoy yourselves! (And if nothing else, I bet being at home never felt so good!)

I've been having hideous contractions all weekend. Really angry ones, that just don't let go for ages. Moving about certainly doesn't help, rather that's what seems to bring them on! (like getting up if I'm sitting down, bending over, making sudden movements yadayada...) After a bit of googleing and MNing, it seems that I have an "irritable uterus" (the uterus seems to have picked up on my general mood...) does my head in. I keep panicking about the bean arriving early, and have actually written a list of things to pack in case. I know it's paranoid, but it seems to have calmed my nerves a little.

Speaking of labour - anyone else find that their hospital schedules hospital tours and labour workshops during working hours? Men don't seem to get time off work for these things so I don't see why they can't schedule them for evenings/weekends!
DH only has 5 days of AL left, and I'd rather he saved that for when the bean comes...

Thanks for the input on bilingualism. I was trying to keep the amount of personal details to a minimum, but I think anyone who knows me would already have recognized me from other things so it's a bit silly really. My mum speaks Finnish and dad speaks Swedish. So I'm a bona fide Moomin (and now have the looks to match!)

Oh, the kiddicare.com rant. Seeing as you asked for it.

TRIED to order a hammock on Friday and pay with debit card. (Yes, I know it's silly, but it's the only card we've got for our joint account.) 1st time it told me that I'd given an address that didn't match what the bank has for me, 2nd time it told me that I'd given the wrong password for Verified by Visa and that the transaction had been referred to the fraud team. (I double checked the address AND the password and they were both right both times.) So, I called the fraud team who asked me all sorts of questions and in the end I got such a dodgy feeling that I called my bank to find out whether this was genuine or not. Seems that it was. Tried again later on with DH's credit card. SAME thing, first about the address and then the password. Got p-sed off and clicked on the "pay by paypal" option, only to be told that the payment had been referred and we'd be contacted by kiddicare. We weren't. Tried calling them until closing time on Friday, no joy. Tried again on Sat, got cut off a couple of times until I finally got through to someone really vague who said "oh well, it has gone through" and gave me a reference number.

I've still had nothing emailed to me about the order and when I tried tracking it via their "track your order" it comes up saying invalid code. So, I've called them again today to ask what's going on and have been told that it's "gone through" and "should be with us tomorrow" but no explanation as to why they've not confirmed the order in any way.

I've never used kiddicare before, and TBH, would've given up with this order if it wasn't for the fact that the hammock I wanted was in the sale and nearly 25% cheaper than the RRP. I'm not holding my breath about it arriving tomorrow...

Phew.

Will go and eat some grapes to calm down.

Koumak · 27/07/2009 15:23

Broodzilla it could mean a problem with their online paying system rather than the whole company. Bu I do agree the customer service doesn?t sound reassuring. I've ordered from them at least 3 times before and it always arrived within 3 days. So don?t give up hope!

Contractions really? Scary.

misssese · 27/07/2009 15:32

Broodzilla are you getting the amby nature nest? iv been thinking about getting this!

Koumak · 27/07/2009 15:41

I have been thinking of the hospital bag but haven?t actually done anything about it. I too have several lists running. Like things we need new, things we could borrow again, things to put on my baby shower list, things to definitely buy but maybe should wait till I definitely know the colour?etc. It?s never ending. Not sure the second babies are cheaper. Especially if it?s the opposite sex!

I just looked it up. I stopped working at 37 weeks when pregnant with ds only though it was Christmas and it looked like good time i.e. end of year. But I could?ve have worked much more after that. By the time he arrived at 42 weeks I was so bored and fed up and it felt like I wasted 5 weeks!

I am so tired now. I am trying to stay awake. Looking at the screen all day is soooo hard!

scarlotti · 27/07/2009 15:54

Broodzilla we've gone for the amby nest too! Was the bit about baby rocking themselves back off to sleep that sold it for me You'll easily sell it on eBay again after if you want.
Kiddiecare have always been good on deliveries when I've used them so hang in there!

I've just found out that car seats have an expiry date Did everyone know this? Apparently it's 5 years, something to do with materials perishing and tougher safety tests coming out in later years.
So we bought ours for DS, and it will be around the 4.75 years old mark when DS2 comes along. Don't know whether I should be looking to get another one now as it will technically 'expire' about halfway through DS2's use of it

Koumak · 27/07/2009 16:04

Scarlotti I did know this. We will have 5 years gap so I am looking at buying new MaxiCosi for this one. I think its something to do with the material on straps etc going weak after 5 years? Not cheap is it?

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