Due Jan 2010....watching our beans grow into babes!

[dal21]

Hello all! Thought I would start this off as our existing thread is full!

Hi everyone!

Still feeling pretty tired come evenings. Have no energy to do anything once DS is in bed! Am 9+4 today though, so the days are gradually ticking by.

Re. the birth plans. My advice. Try and get an understanding of most common interventions etc. and keep an open mind. With DS; I did hypnobirthing, was all set up for a natural delivery with use of birthing pool etc. etc. At 34 weeks, DS was resolute breach and a little on a small side. Long story short, I went for an elective CS. Not my birth plan, but was wihout a doubt the best option for the situation I was in. It took a lot of mental readjustment to accept csection initially and yes the recovery is tough. It is only in hindsight that I realise how much the operation took out of me.

I havent thought too much about this delivery yet, want to get to the 12 week mark. However, if I can, I think I may go for natural delivery - simply because I will also have a toddler to look after. And not being able to pick them up isn't ideal. Having said that, am pretty much going to go with the flow and see what happens.

Oh dear, is anyone else really struggling with dc's at bedtime? I just can't cope with that bedtime tired energy thing... dd goes all squeaky and shouty and loud and imperious and I just want her to go away. Sorry, that sounds awful. But I'm finding it really really hard to try and stay jolly and patient and not just lose it. And dp is not here to help (he rarely helps with bedtime tbh).

Ok, moan over, I'm heading back into the fray.... (aka dd bouncing madly on my bed, naked and shouting).

Agree to being clued up and knowing what your options are. Having a good idea of what you do and don't want to happen makes sense too. In my situation I needed to know when it was no longer sensible to hold on to my aspirations and let the medical establishment take its course. I also needed to accept what happened and not dwell too much on what didn't happen - for my own sanity really.
I think I have been convinced enough by the comments that I maybe need to have a bit more of a plan than just leaving it all up to fate !
Booking in with midwives this Sat and first scan next Tues. Nuchal scan booked in a couple of weeks time.

meant to say LOL at mamaL and baby falling out into trousers. I am liking the idea of that sort of delivery

Giving birth is something I thought I would never do again.
Was in labour with Ds 45 mins his heart stopped and he needed resusitating
as it was so quick I went into complete shock couldn't even hold him
It went from calm dimmed lights to a room full of shouting doctors yelling we've got to get this baby out now!!!

At booking in appointment midwife said this one may end up being born in the car lol and she will give us an emergency pack and give dh some basic training

Oh wow... you mean getting pregnant WASN'T the hard part? I hadn't even begun to think about giving birth/ birth plans. Have never heard of stages of birth! Think I'll continue to bury my head in the sand for a while...at least until a few weeks past the big 12.

BUT I would like to know if it is too late to order one of those that you have MamaLazarou.

alibobins that sounds frightening. was he stuck or something? thank goodness he was ok.

No not stuck just unhappy he spent 48 hours in special care as he couldn't maintain his temperature the another 48 hours on the ward having phototherapy as he was jaundice.
I was going to ask about an elective c section but not sure I could do it I'm such a wimp lol

Oh sleepingalot the birth is just the beginning! There's feeding, sleep, nappies...

I had emergency c-section and have to decide if I want an elective this time. Might be a case of better the devil you know...I think the midwife will probably try to persuade me to try for a natural birth. Family history of difficult births makes me very hesitant.

God its so interesting reading all these birth stories. I think it has made me see that I'm going to keep options a little bit more open rather than just head for the c-section route.
It's sad, but comforting to know there are others out there that have also terminated late pregnancies, but to hear positive outcomes after.
Finally after ranting I have got a mental health meeting on mon. I'm not crazy assure you guys, just depression and anxiety. I manage a large children's day nursery so have to be slightly insane for that.
Have little faith in nhs mental health services, but hey ho!
Have my booking in app on mon too. So a busy day.
I went to a fantastic yoga class tonight. No a preg one, but all focussed on relaxation. Just what I needed.
I'm getting a little jealous of you guys that are near or at the 12 week point. Want to get there too. Now!! Not the most patient of people!

I don't know if I mentioned this but I'm phobic of the medical prof. I get palpitations just going into a Dr. surgery! That's why I've waited til now (34yrs) to go down the kiddie route. Needless to say the birthing stories are completely freaking me out. I know nothing of what happens (obviously in 6 months, all going well, baby is evacuated) and I'm kinda tring to keep it that way. I'm intending on dealing with things as they happen and just going with the flow. I am really lucky though, my DH is really into the whole thing and does all the reading and just tells me a 'safe' version...seems to be working so far and I'm staying nicely calm and relaxed. My philosophy is "I'm built to do this and my body will do what it does".

somewhathorrified - I do understand your medic phobia. You have to drag me kicking and screaming to the doctor under normal circumstances. Hate it, hate it, hate it. All that talking about yourself (happy to do it on here, but in front of a real live doctor or nurse...).

But, I do think having a reasonable amount of knowledge about what your body is going to try and do, and some ideas about how you would like to deal with it will put you more in control and perhaps help you control your phobia?

It is true that your body is built for this, but your brain has not had to listen to your body as it tries to do this before. As you feel things you have never felt before, your logical brain may make you resist, but if you've read about what is supposed to be happening, then your logical brain can help you not to resist.

For example, I made the mistake of telling my inlaws when they called that they couldn't pop in for tea as I was in labour. 15 minutes later there they were on the doorstep insisting they should take me to hospital (I was still about 8 mins apart, midwife had just told me not to get excited, it could still all stop). I had read that stress can slow your labour down, so, much as I hated having my FIL timing my contractions and my MIL telling me it was okay to make a noise (I really didn't need to at that point), I concentrated on staying calm and not letting it stress me, so as not to slow it down. (it did slow slightly, grr, but not too much). I think if I hadn't read about that I would just have allowed myself to get all pissed off and tense and the labour could have stopped altogether.

Also, I had no urge to push whatsoever. So you body may not let you know everything you need to know.

But, that said, it is still very early to be thinking much about this stuff!

Has anyone else told their families about their pregnancy and already been getting presents and general assumptions of the sex of the unborn and general giddiness - lol - seems a bit early to me.
Also am terrified of going to my scan tomorrow - but I suppose the constant throwing up is a good sign - but am so scared that something may be wrong - feel free to slap me.

hello,

I'm struggling with all this delivery talk... it is my first as well and as much I have started to read about different stages, i'm avoiding the images printed in every pregnancy book..and I'm quite scared about it, so I don't want to think to much about it... . One step at a time, I have had my 12 weeks scan and it is ok, so let's roll to the 20 weeks scan...;-))

I am hoping that the antenatal classes will help on the subject. Are the ones provided by the NHS ok??

Hi liny - it is a longtime before birth - don't worry. Glad your scan went well. I didn't go to any antenatal classes sorry .

Hi Timmette,
good luck for the scan! I did not sleep very well the night before and I was convinced there would be no baby... but here it was on the screen moving around...
I'm sure it will be ok- enjoy it!

No present yet, I'd rather they all wait until the 20 weeks scan...but as soon as they know the sex of the baby, it will start...;-))) blue or pink?

I can imagine not sleeping.
It's mainly mil to be honest and she is so well intentioned and lovely - I don't really mind - she is so happy because I lost twins earlier this year and I think she is just relieved I have gotten this far.

Sorry guys, I will say no more about birth stories until asked specifically. Just be aware that there is a bizarre thing that means 'horror' stories are allowed, but if you had a natural, 'easy', delivery, you are not meant to 'gloat' about it and somehow made to feel that you should just keep quiet. Which I think means that it can come across anecdotally that you are more likely to have a horrible birth with complications than a straightfoward one. Statistically this is not the case.

morning ladies.
do not start panicking about labour yet, enjoy the next 6 months while you can then start panicking
i am 12 weeks today and felt sick this mornign but dp had taken the bag of crisps i had got for urgencies like this so had to have a hot dog from the spar on wayto dropping of ds at creche and now munching through a box of pringles!
if i remember rightly last time the ms did not go til 16 weeks! only another 4 to go then!
i am defo finding out the sex astoo impatient and need to sort out which clothes to pull out the cupboard! blue or pink!!

lottie, in your position I would most definitely be thinking about CS.

I don't think I see it as a woman 'failing' if she has to have a CS rather than a VB.

But, I do think that if you have no complications with your pregnancy, just one baby in there, no previous complications with labour, no history in the family of complications etc, then really women should be preparing themselves for a VB. That is what is meant to happen - we are not designed to be cut open to get our babies out. And, there are schools of thought that think that the process of VB kick starts the baby's breathing, which a CS doesn't, and kick starts breastfeeding, which a CS doesn't.

CS is major abdominal surgery and carries risks, and should, IMHO, be reserved for occasions when it is in the best interests of the health of mother and/or baby.

And yes, VB hurts, but from what I've heard, so does CS. It is not the pain free 'option'.