Due June 09: The final Countdown: RLT, BH, SPD, HB, EC, VBAC & no plans to TTC again!

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

Here it is!

I was the same Effie - I just couldn't get DS1 to latch on and we spent 3 days and nights really struggling. I didn't get any sleep as the poor little mite was so completely stressed over the whole thing. This made me very stressed and I was already quite sick following delivery. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was at risk of having seisures. The fact that I was not getting ANY sleep for 3 nights trying to feed a stressed out little baby was not helping matters. On day 4 my dh came into visit us and when he saw the state of me and how upset I was (feeling a failure etc) he went and got the nurses to bring formula straight away, the baby gobbled it up and we never looked back. Thats just my story but I was made to feel quite crap about the whole thing in the hospital and I'm not normally one to give up on things easily.
I think for those that can BF, wonderful. I was just put off FOREVER and really did feel that it took a while longer to bond with DS1 because of all the struggles and stresses we went through.

arrrh , now I feel better .

Naat - totally up to you whether you decide to pierce lo's ears or not. I do agree that in the UK it is seen as a "chavvy" thing to do but who cars what anyone thinks eh

eeerrr, that should read cares......

Must get kids a bedtime snack now so I can look forward to some peace and feet up.

I don't think anyone would be offended by what you say Effie. There's a difference between helping mums feed their babies the milk they make for that purpose and making them feel like failures if for whatever reason they can't/decide not to b/f.
Ineed maybe it's because most of the women I know are very keen to b/f and so I hear more stories about how they've been discouraged in hospital. It happened to my own sis when her newborn DD was in IT. Because it was her second DC, and she has 2 older sisters and a mother who all breastfed, she had the confidence and experience to stick to her guns about expressed milk only and wouldn't allow any formula, and several nurses tried to make her feel guilty about this. In her case, she felt a few more days in hospital to gain the necessary weight - horrid though that was - was a price worth paying for being able to continue b/feeding, which she did for a year.

No medical staff should make anyone feel guilty or a failure or uncomfortable about their own choices, but promoting breastfeeding as the 'default' option is vital if we're to improve our standards. But it should never be at the expense of making individual women uncomfortable and upset.

Hey ladies hope you are all fine just a quickie from me as it?s late. Well, the hysteria has begun, I called my Mum at 9pm last night (returning one I?d missed) and she started shrieking ?have the contractions started?? oh god, I could have to put up with that for another 6 weeks potentially! My Mum went into the pool with DS at his class today so that freed me up to gossip a bit one of the other mothers had her baby boy 2 weeks ago (sadly an emergency C) but both she and he looked fabulous! She was a good advert for having 2 little ones!

I had a nightmare trying to bf dd. I honestly couldn't get it to work at all. She had jaundice when first born and we were kept in hospital for 4 days whilst she was treated with UV light. MW insisted I woke her and ff fed from a cup every few hours - she was very sleepy. Lapped the milk from the cup like a kitten! MW was a hideous bossy cow gave me no sympathy or support - dd just wouldn't even open her mouth as she was so sleepy. Cue me sobbing my heart out as bitch MW squeezed colostrum out of me into a syringe to put in dd mouth.

No one helped me to bf during my stay in hospital - just got me to express and cup feed. Once I was home my lovely community MW spent at least an hour everyday with us trying to help us learn how to do it. I went to NCT bf support groups who were very helpful but dd wouldn't latch on. I read everything on line and all the books but we couldn't do it.

I spent 8 weeks expressing, feeling exhausted as I was doing this for 4/5 hours per day when dd slept. At xmas I just gave up and went on to ff as I felt like I was barely existing and certainly not enjoying being a new mum or spending time with my baby.

So when MW asked me about bf this baby I told her I had mixed feelings. I will try and it must surely be easier than making up bottles. But if it doesn't work then I will not repeat what I did last time and hate every minute of it. I'll ff much quicker. She thinks the key to it is getting a successful feed in within a few hours of the birth. With dd she just snuggled in and slept on my for 3 hours whilst I waited to be stitched. Then further sleeping/snuggling until transfered to post natal ward 8 hours after delivery. Was about 12 hours after she was born that evil MW came along and woke her up to try and get her to feed.

Gosh - I didn't realise that this was such an issue for me until I started writing this post - sorry for the emotional outpouring - felt very disappointed in myself and dd for not being able to do what is supposedly such a natural thing.

Looking back I think it did affect my intial bonding with her as it was such a chore/source of frustration. When I look at her now and have waves of overwhelming love I realise I didn't feel that when she was tiny - ok so now I'm crying .

Note to self Silk - stop it and go to bed - you're very tired.

Bless you silk - it sounds as tho' our experiences were very similar. It really affected the bond I had with DS too, so much so that I would dread meal times up to 18 months after he was born as for a split second the dread of those early days of agony would flash in my mind. He was well onto solids by this stage so completely irrational...

I think it took a good 6 weeks to feel a bond with him. I still flinched whenever he came near me even when he was fully FF and had been for weeks....

I also adore him with all my heart now and feel a real guilty surge when I think of my feelings in those early days.

I think the key for me would have been for MWs to stop selling you this freakin' perfect image of BF and tell you of at least some of the realities that some women face. Since my experience and falling pregnant again I've asked my friends who were lucky enough to BF what their experiences were (something I avoided for a long time as it made me feel too guilty that I couldn't do it). Most, bar one, said that they had experienced some degree of pain and / or bleeding and that they were not informed of the fact that this is normal, so felt bewildered and confused for a few weeks until their nipples got used to it and it stopped. They said that even weeks in, sometimes it would hurt and this would be okay as the pain would ease.

I was told I was doing it wrong if it hurt (no, actually, if they'd checked DS's jaw they'd have realised he couldn't latch instead of shoving his head on my boob and ripping it off again when I winced as it's 'not supposed to hurt').

Like you silk - I was victim to MW who squeezed and pummelled my boobs to try and get colostrum out while they sucked it up with a syringe. Humiliating and horrendous.

I think to encourage more mums to BF is a must. But you're not going to do that by treating mums as IDIOTS and not telling them the realities that a lot of mums face when they start. I was told so often that it 'comes naturally' and that it should be pain-free. Well, yes, sometimes that's true. Other times it's not. I feel that's why so many mums turn to FF in those early days as, for them, the reality and the image you are told about are so vastly different. I don't mean scare the bejeezus out of mothers-to-be with tales of pain and woe. But I would have felt a HELL of a lot better if people had openly talked about their experiences (good and bad) and I'd have realised I wasn't alone. I feel that the policy is now to so actively push BF at the expense common-sense and that they have forgotten that to be informed it to be better armed. It's the failure to live up to the image of 'perfect BF-ing mum' that makes it so freakin' painful when you have to make the decision that you're choosing another path....

I hope to goodness that I am able to BF this little one. I'm putting support structures in place already to help me in those early days.

I also hope that, if I need to turn to FF again, for what ever reason, I can find peace with it rather than beat myself up about it. I also need to keep away from the type of sanctimonious bitches who made me feel so shitty about the whole thing last time.

And now I'm off to bed....

Morning Juners!

Oh Silk and Ineed, thank you for sharing your experiences, your posts made me cry As effie said, the joys of hormones! It's unbelievable how sometimes the staff that are supposed to support you can be the ones to bring you down and make you feel a failure. Fingers super crossed for this time around to be different.
I'm with you, Ineed, it's better for first timers to hear both good and bad stories, and to be "armed" as you put it. To know that things can go incredibly easy and natural but probably not, and that you're not a failure of a mother should that happen.

MrsMc looks like you're in for some more phone calls, huh? Glad you could chat with the other mum and drill ask her questions about handling two LOs

Doris yes, a very firm "NO" from today on, I promise! Hope you had a better sleep last night Keep us posted re. the school... is it a definite "no" already on their part?

Hi ermin and Choccie and thanks to all for your answers re. earrings, I had heard some of the things you said... The truth is it's not such a big thing for either DH or me, but I know our parents will say something about it. Oh well...

Dissertation day for me, I woke up early to work on it and start my "dissertation week". I'm planning on having the commentary done by next Friday

Sunny day here, hope you all have the same where you are

(((waves)))

Morning all

There can't be many jobs as important as midwife in terms of making the early hours and days with a baby either lovely or miserable, can there? I know women who've come home from hosp in tears at having been mistreated by MWs and feeding is often the issue, whether they forced formula or tried to force breastfeeding (can't imagine anyone squeezing colostrum out of me - Owwww! ). And of course nothing makes any sort of feeding more difficult than being totally stressed about it. It must be down to their personalities because I'm sure they're trained to listen to the mother but some choose to ignore it. Let's hope we all get gentle, practical helpful ones.

mrsMc lol @ your mother's excitement. Is that going to happen every time you call?

naat good luck with dissertation, I really don't envy you, my brain is mush today

Sunshine here, have good days all

Hi All.

How are you all today!!!
Its been interesting reading your BF/FF stories- and I feel less of a freak now- for not doing it with DD- we lasted 2 weeks and she was put on FF and never felt happier, until the BFeeding barmy army would say- well I had no probs and MY baby has latched on perfectly and have had no sore nips or anything- and made me feel like a failure!!

I remember going to a anti-natal group before DS was born- they invited the BF support group in who were the BF Barmy Army- and as I was one out of two second timers- they asked about my experience of BF!!!! Big mistake- cos after they left a rosy glow about the wonders of BF I explaine that it doesn't always go like that and there can be problem- but also said it was the best way to feed LOs- if it works!!! The rosy glow dissapeared really quickly to a dark horrible colour and daggers were being thrown in my direction!!! OOOPs But as others had mentioned-its better to know that problems can occur and if I'd known than failure would not have entered my head but normality would have!!

I will try again but if this one/ me does not get on with it the I will FF- and life will be happier- as DH can do some middle of the night ones!!!

I slept better last night and queasiness has gone I've put it down to my co-codamol- as I didn't take them last night and felt better was in pain- but rather that than being sick!!!

Have a good day and no doubt I'll be posting again later xxxxxxxx

Morning ladies!

Ineed and Silk I am truly horrified and saddened that anyone would treat you like that, esp health care professionals (if that's what they were masquerading as). Awful, awful, awful. Thank you for sharing your stories, though. I am going to a breast feeding session at the hospital on Sunday, as am already mentally prepared for breast feeding to be difficult and painful (great, if it isn't) and want DH to be aware of how hard it may be. Also, both my grandmother and mother warned me about nurses and had horrible experiences with them - in Australia back in the day (not sure if this is still the case), so go to a community centre for baby weighings etc and both mum and grandma were told / made to feel they were "bad" and were underfeeding / overfeeding, respectively. They were devastated (well, grandma was a force to be reckoned w, so was prob incensed rather than devastated ). So, thanks to them, as well as MN, am expecting to take such advice w a bushel of salt. Hopefully our doula will also help provide support in the anxious post-birth days. That's a key reason why we got one - am thinking I will need help / encouragement re feeding.

MrsMcJnr - crikey mikey, panic stations from your mum already?

Naat - I second what the other ladies have had to say re ear piercings - personal choice, but not one commonly made (except amongst "common" folk or those culturally predisposed...). DH and I were kicking the tyres on our views re circumcision if we had a boy, as most Australian men our age are circumcised (according to DH's locker room survey / recollection of men's talk - can't fault that research!! ).

Rubbish weather here, but hopefully that will encourage me to actually sort out LO's room (even though we plan for her to sleep w us).

BTW met some new parents last weekend and they were regaling us w tales of how noisy babies are in their sleep ie constant snuffling, farting (apparently v loud!), snoring, gurgling etc . So loud that they couldn't sleep w them in the same room. A bit of a contrast to the stereotypical image we had of silent angel! Did any of you find this?

Morning all,

Bunnymother- You just reminded me of when we took DD1 home from the hospital the first time DH was absolutely appalled by the amount of noise she made sleeping!!!! he moaned for a couple of nights but soon got over it...

So sorry to her you stories of difficulties with BF I did try to be realistic with my RL friends regarding the trauma of BF, I don't know whether I went far enough. One of my Best Friends emailed me last night saying she has been diagnosed with post natal depression, she initially thought she just couldn't BF (and put herself under loads of pressure) then that she was just sleep deprived but eventually realised that it was more and she needed help. Just wanted you guys to be aware that it is really common and nothing to be ashamed of in the weeks ahead chances are more than one of us will get some degree.... Particulatly as she felt embarassed and ashamed when really it is nothing to be embarassed or ashamed about... Please just remeber this post in a few weeks time, (I feel I have failed my friend a little and if I can help any of you seek help earlier then it hasn't been in vain )

Right I am off to be efficient and get the washing (enormous amounts of) up to date- that reminds me those of you on your 1st dc do not expect your washing to increase by a (proportional) third, with DD1 she aimed EVERY time she posseted or pooed and got me or dh most times.... she was good You end up changing your own clothes as much as her initially (then I just became a complete slattern used to eau de babysick)

Hope you all have a good day

Dorisx

Oh the trials and tribulations of feeding babies! It is all such a minefield and it seems there are so many unpleasant experiences on the side of formula and breast. I was very lucky in that I never had a problem breast feeding, not even pain with latch on. I think my cousin thinks I'm trying to show off when I say it never hurt for me, she breast fed too and we were discussing breast feeding again and she was like, I think maybe you are just not remembering it right... No, fraid not. I think she feels I'm trying to one up her some way (I think she is a bit passive-competitive in that way, if that is even a word) which is not the case!! (I mean I never mention it, this was just one conversation and it came up).

Anyway I thought I'd just mention a good experience so those with no experience know that it can be alright. Although I agree you have to educate people about all the possible downsides too.

I just wonder if it will be the same this time or if it will be totally different!

Naat - Yes piercing is considered quite 'common' here, you do what you want and don't worry too much! Good luck with dissertation!

Right, I must go and clean bathroom, then taking dd for lunch at MILs.

Oh, good news, blood test was fine on Wed so don't need GTT or anything. Also still no weeing in the night, and no cramps last night so feel fairly refreshed today!

I had the opposite doris - I knew I was suffering from exhaustion and people kept trying to tell me I had post natal depression. I said I have sleep deprivation - someone allow me to get some sleep and you will find one very happy person underneath. Sure enough, at four months when I started to get sleep, I started to laugh.

circumcision - I thought everyone had it done this days, but my dp isn't keen on the idea. like you bunny all kiwi men of my age are circumcised, and my dp is such an exception that I assumed his mother was doolally at the time. I might have to insist on this one - much cleaner surely??? What do you all think?

Re: the christian school. I met the vicar last November and we had a long chat, and my dd had a wonderful mask at the Christmas nativity, so she not only remembers me, but also the company my dp works for. Maybe I could try and go once a month and endear myself to her. Surely having a newborn is excuse enough.

BF - whoever said, we might buy in to BF'ing a bit more if they didn't treat us like IDIOTS is so true. I got told some rubbish when I was having problems. There were a few really good mw's, usually the ones with personal experience of bf'ing not always being easy, but some said things that you immediately knew were just not true.

Better fly. Cleaning to do.

D5

LittleSarah thank you for sharing a good b/feeding experience. I'm v aware that for 1st time mums especially, of whom there are quite a few on this thread, it's not good to hear too many horror stories about pregnancy, labour, feeding, midwives etc. - While of course we need to know things can go wrong, expecting them to do so, or being fearful, can actually make them go wrong. I hardly thought about b/feeding before the birth and have had 2 lovely straightforward experiences of it - DD for 22 months and DS for 18 months - with no pain except for one mild bout of mastitis which was nasty but short-lived. This isn't rare or unusual! Nor does it make me any 'better' than anyone who did things differently. ... I like the phrase 'passive-competitive' and think I know what you mean... because everything to do with babies is so emotional it's tempting to read into other women's experiences some implicit criticism of our own, but we should just take them at face value, learn what we can from them, and neither feel defensive about our own choices nor judge one anothers'.

daisy5 circumcision used to be fashionable in the sixties but in the UK these days it is rarely done for any reason apart from religious observance. There is no evidence that circumcised men are 'cleaner' or less likely to get infections and most doctors are loathe to carry out unnecessary surgery on little boys for aesthetic reasons. The foreskin has the job of protecting the glans, and it does strike me as a bit odd that half the population would actually need to have a bit of them cut off in infancy as a matter of course..

Daisy -I would search mn for circumcision threads (there have been a few! For reasonably up to date stuff both for and against. The threads I've looked at have got quite heated on both sides but if you have no strong religious views, I'd look into it a little further to see exactly what it would entail and how much it would cost (don't think you can "get it done" on the NHS)

Naat- think this is much the same kind of with ear piercing. When we had dd1 in Gib the mw's in the local hospital pierced ears as a rountine for all baby girls (and dd1 kept getting mistaken for a boys despite head to toe pink . Personally I would investigate further as you may find that the basics of getting your dc vaccination jabs are difficult enough with adding to the pain stuff with piercings??? Just my twopence worth please don't take any offence.

morning juners well its a wet and miserable day here in west of scotland, but i have my MW appointment today so i'll find out if baby has engaged any, my bump def is lower
Had a terrible sleep yet again, I have became such a light sleeper recently and my DH's snoring, my cat crying outside wanting back in, and even the sound of the wind keeps me awake, only time i can sleep is from 7 when DH gets up for work in the crappy wonderful world of Primark at least he is the ladieswear manager so if new stock comes in that looks ok he holds some items back for me

I am a first timer and I am very grateful for people sharing their labour and BF stories. The midwifes would like you to think that the baby will automatically take to the breast for feeding but after hearing/reading your stories I know that is not true. I am hoping to breastfeed Sarah but if it doesn't happen I will express for a little while then go onto formula and noone will make me feel bad about this My main worry just now is that as I am watching my mum fall back into deep depression I am worried I start to become depressed, can't discuss this with DH as dont want to worry him any. Deep down I think I will not go into depression but it's just a cloud that is hanging over me at the moment...maybe that is why I cannot sleep

I hope the rest of you juners have a nice day x

laura My mum has bipolar disorder- so know how you feel!! Its soo hard watching them fall the good thing is that you know what to look out for and if you sense any signs-go straight for help!! I have suffered from anxiety- but with some help it didn't last long. My mum has blamed me for her overdoses and it has stuck ( infact she tried 3 days after DS was born) Discuss it with DH, I find if I keep it in- I worry more and that won't help- he can also try and take some stress off of you- which will also help!! I tell my DH and he gives me a big hug a virtual bat round the head and then I'm ok again.x Also chat to your mw/gp they have a score/test type thing- to see if you may be at risk of getting depression and if you are- then the sooner you get help the better! I'm sure you will be fine, but remember- the mw/gp/hv are there to help!!

I hope that helps-- I'm here if you need a chat xxx big hugs xxxxxx

quick post!

Doris don't worry, no offence taken whatsoever I welcome all replies, as that's what we were looking for I apologise for mixing up Daisy's school story and asking you about it

effie thanks for sharing your story grately appreciated
My midwifes and GP are aware of my mum's problem and I was seen by someone from the SNIP's (Special Needs in Pregnancy) team to ensure I wasn't getting ante-natal depression. I feel that I will be ok but just one of the many things I worry about...think i'll go buy myself something to cheer me up

laura Shopping-- can I come???? I saw a mental health nurse- after DS- to help me understand my mum and that really helped!!

Take care and enjoy your shopping xxx

afternoon all

lynnn, good to see you back! Don't worry about keeping up, we all struggle How's everything going?

naat, a man I used to work with had a Romanian wife (ear piercing common for babies there too apparently) who wanted to get their dds ears done but couldn't find anyone who would pierce a newborns ears. They had to wait until she was a fair bit older to do it. Well done on the translation and good luck with the dissertation

littlesarah, yay for your bloods and dissertation

bunny, babies can be very noisy sleepers, they can also be incredibly quiet, so you go from worrying they have some sort of horrible respiritory disorder to poking them to make sure they are still breathing It's like worrying about movements for us all now!

The church round the corner from us has a register for families trying to get their dcs into the attached school that has to be signed every visit to church. The vicar's not daft though, he also has a rota for church cleaning and flowers that he expects to be mostly filled with parents of preschool dcs! Can you tell there is a lot of demand for the church schools round here?!

laura, my dd2 won't have a word said against primark, it's her absolute favourite shop of all time Hope your appointment goes well.

Health visitors don't just restrict themselves to making you feel bad about your feeding choice......... there is sooo much more they can do that with (apologies to those with good hvs) Ime most of them are just way too obsessed with those bloody growth charts at the back of the red book. Centiles are just that, someone will be at the top, someone will be at the bottom, doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem and you are doing things wrong. [takes a deep breath and shuts up]

Normally dh is dreadful with his snoring and gets a good shove or kick for his troubles! Last night it was me snoring that kept waking me up, oh the joys of pregnancy

The sun has finally come out, hopefully that's the last of the rain for today. Unless the usual happens and it's waiting until 3.15 to really chuck it down!

Doris - at your DH's shock re his little girl making such a racket! I imagine DH will also be appalled! Esp since he wants her to sleep next to him (awww) - spot Daddy's girl in the making??

Thanks, also, for the tip re post-natal depression. My mum gets v depressed, although not sure if she has been diagnosed w anything (that would involve being open about things!), so have already told DH to be on the look out. So glad that its something we can all discuss openly now. Bet it wasn't always the case.

Also, thanks for the tip re clothes changes. I got another airer but I had better get DH some more clothes -- I have LOTS, esp from Primark Lauraloo. Just doing my bit...

Ermintrude - thanks also for your wise words, as always! I am finding this thread so very helpful. It hasn't made me fearful, just feeling more aware.

LittleSarah - glad to hear you had such a smooth run w the breastfeeding. I do know what you mean re passive competition. A RL friend immediately springs to mind...

Daisy5 - also, DH brought up that all the guys in porn movies are circumcised . Is that really a consideration?

I really better do some more chores!

Heya, wow some pretty intense conversations going on. Thanks to everyone who has shared their story, it's an invaluable insight for a first-timer.
insy Sorry you got upset, are you ok now?

Breastfeeding: I have found that the midwife centre, NCT and NHS workshops here (north london) certainly push you to breastfeed (even if they make a point of saying it's a totally personal decision.)
They do mention some women find they have problems but largely put it down to "not latching on properly" and give you helplines numbers to call. Which I think is hiding the truth and not helping in the long run.
I am very curious to see how it is going to pan out for me.

Circumcision: Coming from a tiny (catholic) village in the middle of nowhere in France where people just don't know any better than their own little routine I had never heard of circumcision until I was probably 16 or 18. Even then, it was just a term that I had heard, not really thought about.
So I'll tell you from that perspective that the first time it was explained to me I went from suspecting that someone was pulling my leg to being horrified and thinking "why on earth would anyone do that??".
I have never seen a circumcised penis and I don't actually personally know anyone who has had it done, so from my point of view it's really not the norm.

Ear piercing: In France you usually get it done at the jewellers for around 10 or 15 euros, not before the baby is 6 months, some will even tell you the baby has to be 2 yo.
I don't remember it being painful at all, can't remember when I had it done. (If it was that early or more around 12yo).

Yesterday I saw the midwife for my 36w check up.
I was already teary on the way there (not slept well, nightmares, and argument with dh about taking me there).

Anyway I was really looking forward to finding out if the baby is the right way round and whether she is engaged yet.
I was told last time that's what they were going to do.

However when I asked the mw about it and she said it was unnecessary because the baby could still move around anyway.
Well that set me off crying again and when she took my blood pressure it was too high so decided to send me to the "Day Assessment Unit."
They monitored the baby heartbeat for ages while I was still weeping, took some bloods and sent me to have something to eat.
Then I saw the doctor (still teary) who took my blood pressure which had come down to normal levels by then.
I had to wait for the blood results so in the meantime I went to the breastfeeding workshop. (the woman there spent a fair amount of time slagging of Gina Ford btw, she said GF is a recovering alcoholic who does not have children.)
Got back and went to see another doctor who had my blood results - which were fine - and told me I just need to relax.
@ that kind of advice...

Anyway that's made me think that I should really consider a doula.
Yesterday I realised that at the moment (because of hormones, tiredness, anxiety) if something does not go according to plan I just start getting upset and when I start crying that's it, I cannot actually speak out to say what is upsetting me and people around me asking me or trying to guess just makes it worse.
Some of the midwives are great but most of the ones I have seen have a foreign accent which I have real problems understanding and you don't know which ones you'll get.

I really don't want this to happen at the birth. If I had a familiar face there who knows me and what I want she could speak out for me. I know DH could take on this role at the birth that but he cannot read my mind and is probably going to be under a lot of emotional pressure himself.

Anyway so bunny I know I have asked you before but would you mind telling me again how you found your doula? dh thinks it's a great idea.

Oh June what a miserable time. . My bp always goes up if I have it done in hospitals, and since it settled and your bloods are fine I hope you are feeling better now - and that you find a lovely doula to offer support.

btw, at both my labours I hadn't met the MWs before and the senior one for DD was Jamaican and for DS was Nigerian, and both had quite strong accents, but they spoke very clearly and gently and I found their voices calm and soothing.

bunny on another thread I discovered that prem babies are notoriously noisy when they sleep - apparently they're likely to snuffle and snort and grunt a lot. My babies were quiet sleepers and once they'd moved out of our room I was forever checking they were breathing, so I suppose there's an advantage in having a loudly snortling LO - quite reassuring .

lauraloo some babies don't want to feed straight after birth so trying to get a latch with a sleepy LO is asking for trouble but it's something some MWs try to do so they can tick the 'Yes, it's feeding' box. Your LO will let you know when she's hungry and in the mood for her first feed.

bigcar lol@ your crafty vicar and the church cleaning rota!