Due June 09: The final Countdown: RLT, BH, SPD, HB, EC, VBAC & no plans to TTC again!

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

Here it is!

Oh and the book thing- theres a really good book- called the "no cry sleep solution" can't remember the author but its really good lots of personal experience quotes-- unfortunatley- when I got it- my DS was past the stage of it working well!! But will definately give it ago with this one!! I got it from borders-xxx

Morning all, thanks for new thread Ineed!

Glad to hear everyone is taking delivery of new baby paraphernalia whilst losing bits of their minds - all as it should be

I find baby books slightly interesting to look at but not to treat as a bible. Don't know anyone who's impressed by G Ford. As ever, when it comes to dealing with their sleep, feeding etc. it'll be a combination of what our LOs are like, what any older siblings did and how tired we are.

Effie People can say daft things can't they? There's a big difference between having a medically necessary CS and choosing to avoid natural labour in order to 'keep one's honeymoon freshness' (that's a real ad in the US, I didn't make it up ). Choosing to have an op for cosmetic reasons always seems slightly bonkers to me, but if you and/or your LO need a CS delivery it would be bonkers not to. Ignore them!

Alcohol whilst b/feeding - I think the guidelines are that it's fine in moderation, so the odd glass does no harm. My DD did get colic the day after I'd drunk too much champagne and although I can't be sure, I reckon that's what did it so avoided having more than a few mouthfuls. But after the first couple of months I used to have a glass of red wine or a bottle of beer a few times a week if I fancied it, with no visible effect on LOs.

Did you enjoy Juno? I thought the ending was a bit strange but liked the film in general.

Doris I reckon the name Edward will become v popular soon because it's the name of the gorgeous vampire in 'Twilight' and these things tend to have an influence. I love Ted as a diminutive.

www.pantley.com/elizabeth/ I have the blue one re no cry sleep solution!!!

DISSERTATION IN!

BABY HAS TURNED!

As you see, Dreamy ? at 34 weeks my baby was breech, now at 35.5 he/she has turned! Yup, when I saw midwife for bloods yesterday I asked her to have a wee feel and she said head down at the mo, so hopefully will stay that way! Anyway the manual moving thing I was told is not that painful at all but a bit uncomfy? midwife said get on down on in elbows and knees position?

To all those asking about dissertation, thanks for your kind thoughts? handed it in this morning!!! Feels great. Yesterday a friend emailed asking me to look at hers so ended up doing that for three hours last night and covering it with red type. Feel bad for giving her so many suggestions but it really was pretty rough and needed them, hopefully it will be helpful and she won?t hate me too much...

The contented book was not for me at all, far too strict, but luckily dd was a relaxed baby and we settled into our own routine. I didn't read her about weaning but this time I want to try baby led weaning as it sounds so fabulously relaxed. Think I did use baby whisperer or someone similar just to get dd into a bed time routine so I could get evenings back, which was great, but again, didn't do exactly as it said on the tin IYKWIM.

Ineed - I think I shall go for a nap this morning, I am also totally knackered, up five times last night with exruciating cramps, really horrendous, glad I have the time to relax a bit now...

Naat - I want to get my hair done at the end of the month before my ball, roots are ridiculous!

Choccie - Yes up and feeding by 7! When dd often would sleep then til after 8am... I don't think so, and too much napping in dark rooms for me, I wanted to go out and about and not at one specified two hour period or whatever...

Hello to everyone else, bed and rainbow relaxation is calling!

Effie - I am w Ermin, ignore those comments. I, personally, think that is both a shitty and untrue thing to say. You most certainly are a proper woman, and are also a proper mother, regardless of the method by which you give birth, or why. So bloody judgy to say otherwise, not to mention v insensitive given that you have to have a C section.

God, rant over.

Ermin - I think I read that you can only have a unit of alcohol per day when breastfeeding. Which makes sense, although means that am still, effectively, teetotal. How annoying if you can't even have that due to worries about it causing colic. I need to get a book on making mocktails, I can see.

Right, I really better get off MN and do my chores!

Morning Naat.
Your question re: waking newborns for a feed is a good one. I think everyone does all things differently and of course it may also depend on if you will be breast or bottle feeding baby.

BF did not work out for me with DS1 and I was truly put off to even go there again with DS2. Thats just my situation.... I do remember when I was in hospital with DS2 that a nurse asked me how long my baby had been sleeping and when I said 6 hours she told me to wake him for a feed as I should not let him go any longer than 3-4hrs at that stage. Whether this is right or wrong I do not know but sometimes you can wake them and they are soooo sleepy they don't feed very well and can be upset.
I suppose I will be sticking to the 4 hour rule which always seemed to work well for me. If baby wakes naturally before then thats fine too. My boys are generally great sleepers now at 4 and 5 yrs of age now and they still realy really dislike being woken up!

I also need to get my grey hairs dyed. I usually go to the hairdressers but it is so time consuming and pricey. I am wondering if I can do it myself but worried it will go green or something mad .

OK, another v quick post.

LittleSarah - CONGRATULATIONS on finishing your dissertation!!! Excellent news!

Littlesarah - thats fab news! So glad the baby has turned for you Also great that the dissertation is in. Good for you and well done!

Effie - I agree with what the others have said. Ignore peoples ignorant comments about CS etc. You have to follow advice of dr and obviously put baby and yourself first. What are some people like?!!!!

I have deliverd my 2 DS's vaginally but had epidural with both and I have people saying "oh you don't really know what its like to have a baby really then". I get very irritated by these comments too. My own mother could never get her head around the fact that I would want all the pain relief under the sun as she had delivered 4 babies "naturally". She had very easy quick labours and as we all know, every labour and every person is different. If I can give birth pain free then I am going for it! .

Hello you lot are soo lovely thank-you xxx
ermin I didn't see the end- as decided I should try and sleep-- but I though it was quite good and will watch it again when more awake.
littlesarahwell done with your dissertation-- hope you can relax a little xxx

I'm going to put my first load of baby washing on hopefully that will keep him/her in there if I don't do it-- then its bound to happen sooner!!! haha

I have a hair appoint for the 30th- for cut and colour-- at the moment- I quite dark- but thinking of going blonder again and get my fringe put back in!! Hopefully LO will stay put, as with the other 2 they came before my appointment and had v. large roots!!

choccie Everyone has opinions-- which is fine- as long as they are said with sensitivity!!! My mum has put down comments like that and I could punch her!! well in my head anyway.

With the BF thing I was working in SCBU and a mum was very distressed, as she couldn't feed and wanted to stop, but the other nurses were making her feel bad ( and they would slag anyone off in the staff room for stopping) So I with a nudge nudge wink wink pushed a little bottle of formula her way and the baby gained weight which was why she was still in and went home 4 days later!!! I still see the mum and she always thanks me for doing it and said it changed her feeling towards her baby- as she was beginning to have negative feelings towards her baby!! I got into a bit of trouble- ho hum, but as a mum who couldn't with DD-understood her anguish and she had given her baby 4 weeks worth of breastmilk-so he'd had some good stuff. I will always promote BF - but would never judge anyone for not wanting to to me the most important thing is to have a fab first weeks with your baby, as you won't get them back hope that makes sense!!

Now I really must get of that soap bax lol xxxx

Hi all

Dont know if you remember me but I used to post on this thread (dd2 due on 2nd June) but couldnt keep up with you ladies!

Just been having a quick little nosey and pleased to see you are doing well. Can't believe how quickly its come round, only a few weeks to go now, yippee!!

I'll try to keep posting, but good luck to ALL June mummies-to-be, hope things go really really well and you enjoy your first cuddles with your little bundles x

morning!

naat I was told by mw to wake ds's if they hadn't fed for 4 hrs, had to set alarm to do this for first night with ds1, with ds2 I followed his lead, he had a quick bf when he was born and then slept for 14hrs straight (I slept as muh of that as I could) I was lucky tho he was healthy baby and I worked on fact full term babies are designed to go without much food for 3 days till your milk comes in, if you have baby with jaundice or pre term I think they need feeding more often and then it becomes important to wake them.

I followed baby whisperer but not a fan of her sleeping ideas when they get older as staying in the same room as my two winds them up more, loved the whole understand your babies personality tho and her 'routine/timings' for first few months were great, we had ds1 on 3hr feeding (he was exlusively bfed and other mums told me you ould only do feeding rountine with bottles but it worked for us) I didn't look at GF till I'd had ds2 but she does have some good ideas I don't think she's that great for newborns tho, newborns need 'rituals' not 'routines' plus by doing baby whisperer EASY ritual (Eat Activity Sleep You time) I found it easier to work out what was bugging ds as I could mentally tick off things ie can't be hungry as just fed you
Basically read everything now and pick all the bits you like and ignore the rest (and always question when other mums claim to have lo's 'sleeping thro' - mum I know was adamant that her ds was at 4 wks but she just meant between feeds )

bunny not so much planned to have dc's close together as thats just the way it panned out - I don't have periods, never had, doc's don't know why so couldn't give us any idea how long ttc would take, ds1 took 12mo, ds2 2mo after I stopped bfeeding and dc3 again 2 mo after stopping bfeeding - NOT getting preg is going to be interesting as clearly I don't have fertility problems!

daisy strictly speaking godparents should be same relgion as you are getting dc baptised into so they can support them in learning about that particular faith but like you say the people are more important, I think a belief in God is important and the fact they are from diff demoniations is great as they can add something different to their understanding, ds1's godparents are CoE and RC and ds2's are Baptist and CoE, vicar never questioned it, maybe it depends on the church?

doris I think erim could be right Edward could be about to get popular - its the name we've chosen if we have ds and we manged to chose one of the top 3 names for ds1 and thought ds2's was tradional but not too popular and turns out he is one of 3 in the baby room at nursery!

littlesarah congrats on dissertation! and baby moving!

As for me rubbish nights sleep due to dh snoring, grr, any suggestions on getting him to stop?? he's getting really cross with me waking him up to stop but between him and the loo visits I'm not getting much sleep

Laura - hope that headache shifts soon. I often have headaches that seem to last for weeks (pre-pregnancy) and nothing seems to shift them. It's miserable - worse when you can't bloody take anything.

LittleSarah - Yey for baby moving! I bet you feel so relieved to get your dissertation in. A cheeky half glass of wine to celebrate??? Hope you managed to have a nap x

Llynnnn - Of course we remember you. Hope all is going well with you. You're a few days ahead of me so you're nearing that 37 week benchmark. How bloody exciting!

Naat - I had pethidine in labour with DS and, as a result, he slept for 48 hours. I remember when the MW came round in the ward and asked when I'd fed him last. I hadn't fed him for 12 hours as I couldn't keep him awake to latch on. She was so vile to me. I didn't have a clue what I was doing and she then stripped him off and he went blue, but stayed asleep. Jeez. I think as he was born at 37 weeks, they were keen for him to feed, but the drugs he had in him were thinking otherwise. They like them to feed at least every 4 hours, but I think you need to trust your instincts and listen to your baby.

Effie - I wish I'd had someone like you around me when I was going through the pain and trauma of BF with DS. I saw a retired MW who came to check DS as it was Christmas and she was doing some cover. She was the only one to tell me that it was okay to FF, it wasn't going to kill him and I wasn't an evil mother (the way the other MWs had made me feel - despite me crying and begging them to help me with breast-pads that were more bloody than my sanitary pads). It wasn't until later that they discovered that his jaw had been damaged by the forceps and he would never have been able to BF as he couldn't latch. I completely agree with what you say about the first weeks being vital. I didn't bond with DS for a good while as I associated him with pain. So pleased you managed to BF second time round. I hope I'm lucky this time too.

Sorry to hear about the idiotic comments about CSs. How does it matter how they make their exit as long as baby and mum are healthy and happy? It's not stamped on their forehead how they came into this world.

choccie - I also LOVED my epidural and fully intend to beg ask for one again. I had a few 'oh I managed it, drug-free'. So? DS was back-to-back, I was agony and the epidural switched it all off! Hooray!

I also need to dye my hair. Like you, Naat, I also started going grey very early. Grr. Really can't be arsed tho'...

Insy - Sorry you also had a crappy night's sleep. No tips for DH's snoring, I always poke / kick / shove DH and say 'you're snoring' very loudly. He grunts and rolls over.....

Anyway, hope the rest of you are okay xx

Ineed Hormonal alert- or lack of sleep I just had a tear in my eye, when I read your post!! I actually left my job shortly after that- as they made me feel really bad hence hoping LO does not make an early appearence-- as guess where we are heading!!! I was also told my "london ideas would not be accepted" as I trained at guys hosp and this is a smaller hosp!! Nice hey!!!
Your MW should have noticed your sons jaw or the paed dr, doing your sons check!!! People don't realise how painful it is to BF and when you have added problems- then it makes it worse!!! Good luck this time it took me about 2 weeks to get the hang of it with Flynn, but once mastered then we were flying-- after tons of tears and nipple cream!! If this one doesn't take to it then cow and gate here we come!!!
Don't get me started on HV!!!!!!! lol xx

Ineed & effie - Cranial osteopathy for babies worked really well for me. They 'feel' the whole head and body to pick up where some bone 'plates' don't meet properly and are causing pain for babies. They also pick up muscle tension, and identify where there are problem spots. They could tell my dd's tense throat that she had reflux, something no doctor or mw had picked up even though I'd been going back to them for a month or so, asking what was wrong with my baby. I got sick of hearing 'babies cry - that's what they do'. I'm sure an osteopathist would have picked up your problem too. I'm definately going to go this time in case the doctors miss anything.

Oh...and now another 'God' dilemma. Just visited a school for my dd and it is perfect for her. Problem - it is a christian state aided school and to get in you really have to attend church regularly. I've just discovered that by regularly, they mean twice a month. I thought my once every couple of months and involvement in the church toddler group would be enough, but clearly not. I can't imagine having a newborn and going to church once a fortnight!!!!

Yeh Daisy - I completely agree. I had three sessions with a crainal osteopath actually it was her who discovered his jaw, she clicked it into place (gross!) and he latched like a demon when he had his first bottle after that! Before that, he couldn't even latch on the bottle - he was gaping like a fish out of water, I had to pour it down him, a sip at a time. I just wish I'd seen her sooner as I'd given up BF by then and my milk had gone (I didn't have a good supply to start with as he hadn't been able to latch and I'd been expressing for a few days leading up to giving up). I really hope I get to do it this time round; effie's given me hope!

Oh and I'm taking this one to the cranial osteopath as soon as he's born (even if nothing seems wrong), just to check all is well!

Sorry to hear about your church dilemma..... do they do a register or something? How would they know?

Once LOs are out we can support each other with the trials and tribulations of feeding then we can get through the tough early days together!! We can flop out and unite-- or discuss which bottles and formula we will use!!!

HI ladies!

Oh Effie and Ineed I wanted to cry after reading what you went through I've heard terrible stories of doctors, MWs and HVs making mothers feel like crap bad mothers because of FF even when there are situations which make BF impossible! I'll never understand how they dare to make a mother who has just given birth feel like that, on top of all the feelings she has to deal with

I agree with Effie we'll be here "together" to support each other and give advice to each other once LOs are born I'm really really grateful to have you, ladies

Daisy how odd... I agree with Ineed, is the church that small that they'd notice if you weren't there or do they keep an attendance register?

Thank you ineed insy choccie for your advice re. waking newborns up to feed.

Choccie so about your DC being good sleepers I imagine you're really thankful for that

LittleS YAY!!! I intend to follow your steps in the next few days (finishing it, not submitting it, though, as I have to wait for that).

I've also heard wonders about cranial osteopathy for babies, esp. for colics, but great to hear that it works for other things as well!

Talking about health visitors, I got a letter from "mine" a few days ago saying she's coming to visit me next monday at 9.30am. Let's seeee... I've heard good things and awful things about them, fingers crossed!

Ladies, I've delivered the translation!!!! (insert over the moon emoticon) I feel great! As of tomorrow I'll dive into my commentary

Tricky question, Juners. DH and I were talking last night and he suggested I ask you girls about this as we couldn't work out the issue. As we're a mix of nationalities, I think he's right.

As we all know, diff countries have diff customs and traditions. We heard that here in the UK it is wrong wrong wrong to pierce your little girl's ears when they're born. That's quite common in Latin America, where LOs usually get a tiny little "pearl" or "ball" some days after they're born at the hospital itself. I even found a thread here in MN and I didn't dare go in to read it as the title made me feel bad . Is there a reason why it's considered so bad?

Ok, this was a looooooooooong post

naat I've got all emotional again!! The joys of hormones!!
As far as ear piercng goes Its completely the choice of the parents same with the BF-- whats right for one person, may not be right for another!! You have to do whats right in your mind!!!

There are lots of cultural differencies in this country if your jewish the boys get circumcised-- itd not frowned upon- just accepted!! there lots of others but can't remember!!

I haven't got DDs done- but thats my choice- but if a family member got her childs done that their choice- no one should condem anyone

I hope that makes sense!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi all,

My god you do all talk so!!!!

Awful night here to woke at 4 ish and thought my face was going to explode (not one for drama or anything!!) my sinus were completely bunged up from above my eyebrows down to my Jaw, and I just couldn't sleep.... sod's law it was a night when the dd's were sleeping !!!!

Consequently woke up this morning absolutely knackered, so phoned my mum and asked her nicely if she fancied a visit !!! bless both mum and dad came over and mum pottered about with dd's and dad fixed stuff (as dad's do!).

Did find out why I'm so knackered though as got a call from the surgery that my bloods from yesterday are back (!) and they're starting me on iron tabs. I'm now waiting for a surge when they kick in

Then had MIL round this pm to entetain dd1 for a while whilst I vegetated on the sofa "watching" (i did keep my eyes open!) (MIL has been overseas for the past 6 months and is desperate to be involved with the dd's which is lovely)

Lsarah so pleased for you what a massive relief atleast have a rest tonight!!!!

Naat -good luck with the work and then practice saying "NO I'm very sorry I can't....."

Erm and insy that would be about right was out of the country naming dd1 ended up with THE most popular name of the year, thought we'd been more original with dd2, one of the other names for dc 3 if a boy is Jack!!!! think we may just go with Ed anyway.

insy we have simialr problems on the conception front so dh is off

Effielou I was a nurse in a previous life (pre-dc's) not paed but I hated the politics!!! Well done you for putting the patient first!

daisy Nightmare!!! we've just done the school thing for dd1 and were fortuunate to get our chosen school (out of catchment) it is such a minefield, you may find that the church is really helpful (dsis goes with her 3 dc's on her own and they provide someone to sit with her middle child with SN's!! so she can "enjoy" church)

sorry to those I've missed promise I will try harder next time!

llynn Welcome back, I'm due on the 2nd too..

Naat It's considered 'common' - ie. working class or even 'chavvy' - to pierce babies' ears here. It's practiced more by Asian and Afro-Caribbean parents than by British so it is about cultural differences and taste. Personally I don't like the idea of doing anything to babies that's not necessary - especially painful things which make a wound, and that includes circumcision.

I'm surprised at your b/f v ff story, Effie - it's far more usual to hear of mothers who want to b/f being discouraged and disempowered by medical staff who just want to shove a bottle in a baby's mouth when it suits their rotas, or who have an obsession with 'fattening up' leaner babies. I'm dismayed at how much of a hang-up breastfeeding has become in this country. Very few women actually can't breastfeed - although there are circumstances, especially after difficult births or when a baby is in IT for example, when it becomes so fraught and difficult that it's hard for a first-time mum to persevere. But the vast majority of mums on this thread will be just fine. It's such a lovely, easy, portable and cheap! thing to do as well as being nutritionally ideal.

Naat - You are right that it's frowned upon by some quarters. Like Effie said, it's the same reaction people get when announcing their DS is going to be circumsised.

It's completely your choice.

In answer to your question as to why (I read that thread too), I think people against it would argue that the parents are inflicting unnecessary pain on their DC when the child doesn't have a choice in the matter (you could argue the same for vaccination injections, but then others would say that was 'necessary'.

Only you can make those choices, and if it's culturally 'the norm' for people in Latin American countries, then who has the right to judge?

Far too many judgey people out there, I say!

I'm surprised that you're surprised at Effie's story Ermintrude. Having been through what I went through, I know of many other mums who really struggled to BF and were made to feel like they were 'failures' by people in the medical profession. Maybe because my local hospital has a 'Baby Friendly' policy (that doesn't appear to be very mum friendly).

In fact two of my friends who are nurses, and my next-door neighbour who is a senior midwife at the local hospital have said that they aren't allowed to offer the support they believe the mother needs as they aren't even allowed to suggest alternatives, even if the mother is struggling like I was. They can get in real trouble.

Once I had made the decision that FF was the only option available to me, the midwives were actually very supportive as I'd made the decision. They were then free to help me out. Shame really as it was before this that I really needed it...

I agree with ineed I got into dreadful strife for allowing a mum to ff her baby-- she had expressed for weeks while her LO was sick- but he just wasn't gaining wait- and she wanted him home- more than her desire to BF!!! Infact the rota thing doesn't really count, cos if a mum is not there to BF, then the baby is tube fed, or bottle fed or cup fed formula or expressed milk- so it takes the same amount of time!!! so if the mum is BF- it actually helps the nurse/mw, the only prob is if you have 6 babies screaming at the same time for food and not enough nurses! lol x
The word Formula- is like saying you worship the devil in the hospitals I've worked in x

I think support for whatever way you feed your baby should be there regardless- My problem was neither me or the babies could get a proper latch ( i'd taught many mums to BF- so would have thought it would be easy for me) and there were too few MWs to help!!

I really must chop up that soap box!!!!! Sorry if I've offended anyone it was not my intension Love you allxxx