Hi all- thans for the messages of best wishes. I am back from the hospital and in a bit of shock I think.
I went in for the scan and the lovely sonographer was very matter of fact. She said she appreciates that when these things happen you just want them over with quickly so you can move on. I totally agreed. But she had to do the scan to confirm everything and prepare a report for the doctor. So she did the trans ab scan and could not see clearly, so she appologised for needing to do the TV scan.
She started the scan and showed me the sac which she said should look like a balloon, all round and taught. She explained that mine was deflated as if it was 2 weeks after the party. We all had a bit of a laugh and she took the measurements. She was pointing things out and explaining what was what. Then she moved the probe around and showed me the 'fetal pole' from a different angle, as she explained it was lying on a vessel, so she needed another view of it.
Then she stopped and spun the screen back to her. She was pulling lots of confused faces and called her colleague over. All of a sudden they both said, 'mmm! Oh!' and then they spun the screen back. She said, 'do you see what we see?' dh said yes and began to well up, I hadn't dared look until now- so when I glanced at the screen I was very surprised to see a little heart pumping away.
I got a bit 'cross' at this point and explained that I didn't understand because my baby had died. She said, no, as far as we are concerned, there is a heartbeat so your baby is still alive.
SO, the upshot of it is- baby seems to have got smaller since my first scan 2 weeks ago, and is only measuring 3mm. However, they were really disgusted with the private sonographers measurements from the 2 scans, apparently she had typed up things on the report that were an impossibility. However, the baby has grown a small amount since yesterday's measurements.
I said to the sonographer- so, basically there is still a heartbeat but the baby is too small so it will probably die anyway. She said, 'I'm not saying that- you are!'
Afterwards with the nurse, she had her little wheel out and was trying to convince me that my dates could be out (but agreed that a 3mm baby could not be 7 weeks, which is the absolute miniumum I could be if my dh had miracle sperm that lasted 10 days lol!) But she swore that 'miracles happen all the time, God willing.' She said the heartbeat was not slow or irregular.
My dh is adamant that everything will be ok, maybe the baby is just small. I am not so sure as I don't want to get my hopes up. After all, I was told yesterday that the baby had died. I also do not understand how a 3mm baby can have a heartbeat.
I have to go back for another scan next Wednesday and take it from there. But apparently, my baby is still alive and I am still pregnant. So overwhelmed, I just don't know what to think.
Sorry for the long post.