Due in June 2009: The final quarter - packing our bags and remembering to squuueeeeeeezzeeeee!..

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

Here it is!

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Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

Warning, this is a potentially TMI post about birth.

laura oooh your link lead me to this page (NOT for the faint-hearted) about bruising and tearing/stitching and I've gone all queasy now.

I can't remember if anyone here had a water birth or is planning one?
I hadn't considered it before, one of my friends said that "if you tear and need stitches it's difficult for the midwife to do it." I don't know if this is true or not.

Now that we've talked about it at the NCT class I'm more interested about it, especially if "research" shows that you're less likely to tear according to this article

which reminds me of perineum massage, which I've not done. I think someone here mentionned they did it before and it helped.
(Other people have said it didn't help them.)

Oh well, something nice to think about before I go to bed...

Sorry for TMI.

june - I had a tear and never felt a thing, nor even noticed the stitching. Just use NCT to gather all the information you can, it's really helpful on the day. I read a book on water birth but wasn't possible on the day.

I'm going for a soppy song....'You are so Beautiful...to me'

I think worrying about tearing is sort of like worrying about the pain...nothing you can do about it, so why fret? But I am like that about a lot of thing!

Hope everyone had a good night. I was up from between 3 and 4.

Any experienced mums have any tips on how to fall back to sleep after being woken in the night? I just can't seem to get right back to sleep, which will be fun when I have to get up with the baby!

tee no advice on getting back to sleep I?m afraid, I always think is the baby preparing you, although since this is no 3 you?d think it would give me a break

june I had episiotomy first time round to ?speed? things up but my stitches didn?t take so I will need repair work after this one, its nothing major just a comfort thing and hasn?t really caused me any problems (in terms of sex and getting pg again twice ) but down there can get sore and dry and as baby gets bigger it does hurt as scar tissue isn?t as elastic. I was told a tear can heal better as the edges of the tear go back together better and is a more natural way of ?cutting? but in saying that an episiotomy is more ?controlled? and I know some mums who?ve had horrible 3rd degree tearing so you really need to see how things progress. I did (or rather dh did) perineal massage second time and no stitches needed so would recommend although you do need to do it regularly and it is uncomfortable, I also wanted to labour in water to soften everything up but as it turned out even though I?d got all the kit at home once I was in labour the idea of getting in the pool really didn?t appeal! I had a warm bath in early stages so maybe that helped?? Try not to worry, labour is quite unpredictable, I put no episiotomy down first time but you will need one if you need assisted birth and you wouldn?t know that till in middle of it all
if need stitching ask for local and keep hold of your gas and air, NCT classes told me too so dh reminded me but know some mums who didn't have anything makes me wince and cross my legs just thinking about it!

No idea bout songs from me ? I had music in first labour and now can?t listen to corinne bailey rae or jack Johnson so didn?t bother for 2nd one in fear of reducing my cd collection even further

Morning ladies!

there is no way to catch up now! God we moved fast yesterday hahaha

Anyway, thanks to all the Juners who helped with advice on lists, hospital bags, what to use and what doesn't work... as it's been said before, LIFESAVERS!

Tee sorry to hear you were awake 1 hour at night. I get that almost eeeeevery night now and it's really hard to go back, as you say at Insy's theory, though haha

June I'm planning on going into the water if I feel like it on that day (there're pools at the BC). I like the idea of floating and relaxing in the water, but then, as Insy said, I may not on D-day

at the songs, ladies! I'm very bad with names of songs but I'll come up with something soon to add

Weird dreams on my front (yeah, we went from raunchy to plain weird haha) most of the night but well...

Have a lovely morning, Juners!

Morning everyone wow you were all very busy with your lists over the weekend. Fortunately I still have lots of things for baby from my last daughter and also my granddaughter so wont really need to buy much. I also have my pjs and slippers and bath towels ready. I just need to get organised and get everything down from the loft wash everything and put it all into drawers and wardrobe. The crib needs reerrecting and making up too. I cant decide whether to use disposables or cloth nappies anyone else got any ideas with cloth nappies? I need to get some storage baskets for my changing table which needs to be repainted. Im also thinking of getting a changer for upstairs too.
Re hospital bag I use the awful but very useful disposable paper knickers in hospital as you can just tear them off and bin them in a nappy bag which saves someone having to wash your knickers. I also buy some of those disposable bed liners for my bed when I come home to save the sheets. Im having a baby shower soon so will probably get lots of nice toiletries then but its nice to take some treats for after the birth too

DS was awake all night with temp spikes of 40.5 degrees. We're both a bit frazzled and he's in 'limpet' mode!

I had an episiotomy and second degree tears and I didn't find them much of a problem. Within the context of the huge life-changing event that had just taken place, I didn't really notice. I had the stitches out when they got a bit tight. TMI ALERT The first 'number two' was interesting with stitches... mine were all near that 'exit' so it was a little traumatic. I wish I'd been to the docs for some laxative as this can really make life a little easier.....

Anyway, back to Cbeebies, Calpol and cuddles....

Good Morning everyone

wow you were all so busy on here yesterday.

Your list Mrsmc has kick started me into getting more organised. I have been out this morning and even bought the babies nappies. I also picked up some Always Night pads and have a bumper pack of Mothercare maternity pads as I always seem to bleed very heavily after giving birth.

I have made up my list for my hospital bag. it is huge! Haven't got much to buy though.Just some new socks, cheap big pants, antibacterial wipes and must check to see if I have any breast pads at home still.Will be bottle feeding this time but will still need to stop leakages.

tee - I am also waking up every night. it certainly must be these lo's getting us trained up. I am feeling more and more uncomforatable and think I need to start supporting my bump in bed.

For all those 1st time "mums to be", I also had an episiotomy the 1st time and didn't feel a thing. I also didn't feel the stitches. There was so much going on at the time. 2nd time around I tore and didn't know as epidural was still going quite strong. Try not to worry too muuch about what happens. You really won't be aware of it.Make sure you change your maternity pads regularly and I nrecommend having 2/3 baths a day if at all possible. It really helps the healing process. I always found that day 3 was the hardest with stitches as they tighten (a good sign) but can be very sore.I put a few drops of tea tree oil on my maternity pads to help with this.(hope I'm not frightening you).

Oh, also a good idea to put a waterproof sheet on your bed in the last few weeks before you are due just in case your waters break. Don't want to be wrecking your mattress!

Can't think of labour songs either. never had music with me before.Great idea though.

Oh all this labour talk is making me giddy....need to go focus on something else

Oh ineed you are bringing it all back to me.....

I just had to keep remembering the voice of the midwife that said "when you go for a number 2 it will NOT under any circumstances open up your stitches". It took me a couple of days but she was right.It was complete mind over matter for me.

Hi Juners,

Ineed . Hope your LO feels better today .

I finally managed to upload some pics. I made you all my "MN mates" so that you can see them, if you want.

They are here

(I hope I did that correctly, let's see)

naat nope, no pictures! And that link takes you to a login screen, not sure why. We can see your profile by clicking your name anyway!!

I'm so bad at these things haha

Let's try again:

Here

Fingers crossed!

Still not naat!!!

Hey guys

No tearing here last time, did graze badly and that made weeing after VERY burny indeed. Ugh, not looking forward to that.

Good lists guys, I won't be going into hospital so not too worried about packing but certainly still got a lot more to get. Will no doubt grab more nearer the time.

dreamy - I'm using reusables, really liked my mamma mio last time, my granny is giving me £100 towards them so should be able to get a decent starter stock.

Ineed - hope wee one gets well soon.

Songs? Hmmm, no idea, last time round I was very much in my own wee labour world and barely would have noticed music, think I'll let dh put on his own records!

I feel like Daisy when she was trying to show us the pics of the bump for the questionnaire!

Grrrr!

Hi all,

Held my bestest mates 5 week old today, awwwwww just sooooooo tiny. (9 weeks If I'm lucky and 11 weeks if I'm not till I meet this LO)

DD1 was interested and cute but dd2 not convinced may have a few jealousy problems there!!

Mange to iron all the baby clothes I washed yesterday, and the stuff for the moses basket but dh was a bit that I couldn't quite manage the normal stuff ( In my defence the dd's were bored by then and my legs were aching)

MIL and SFIL back from their wintering in Florida today, so should be seeing them later this week, which will be interesting.... dd's have changed and I've grown (a little).

Naat- keep trying to see your photos got really excited ( espeically after my meetup yesterday I'm facinated by who my mn mates are!)

Might sit down and write my hospital bag list in a mo, dh has (under duress) gone to tesco, so I should make myself useful. Although he keeps saying we've got ages to do all this stuff. Which in my head a little voice says "NO WE SODDING WELL HAVEN'T!", but I camly reply it's not really that long dear

As for the songs I think "Breakout" but i'm such a dunce when it comes to all things music, I haven't a clue who it's by

Well I'll check back later to see who's around

Hey ladies I am liking the playlist suggestions

June ? try not to get too hung up about stitches etc. It really was one of my biggest fears and I did tear and I did have stitches and I won?t lie and say being stitched was fun (especially as I?d had no medication for the birth) but I never looked at them and I never knew they were there, honestly. I gave birth to DS upright leaning over the back of the bed and my tear was 2nd degree as that page you read warns but I had ice packs and everything ready but I didn?t use any of them apart from the lavender essential oil which I used to put a few drops on my pads and I found that helpful. I tried to do the massage but found it hard to reach and really uncomfortable so gave up. Re water births, I was convinced I wanted one and read some books and got a nice tankini but changed my mind on the day, I loved the TENS machine and didn?t feel that water helped much when I?d had a bath earlier in my labour so opted for dry land. I do know that if you tear in the water and need stitches you may need to wait a while before you have them done as the wound can be a little water logged. Lots of people worry about their first post labour poo too. I ate lots of dried apricots in hospital and managed without any problems. I hope I am as lucky with these things this time round

Daisy ? like your song how are you? I know that things are getting on top of you at the moment, sending big hugs your way and some calming dust to your DD! I think my song from around DS?s birth was Michael Buble?s ?Not alone? (think that?s what it?s called ) the words seemed to have an impact on me.

Tee ? I find concentrating on my breathing and taking slow breaths through my nose and exhaling through an open, relaxed mouth and clearing your mind of all else really helps. It is something I learnt in hypnobirthing and I used it a lot during my contractions too. Incidentally, I don?t know if you are planning to breastfeed but apparently there is some kind of hormone release that makes you sleepy too so it is easier to go back to sleep after a night feed. Ingenious!

Insy ? ouch at the bad stitching my Mum had the same problem, it happened with my middle sister and she then waited 7 years to have my little sister and only then got it fixed If it happens to me again I will be asking for some pain relief for the stitching part! LOL at the reduction of your CD collection.

Hello Naat don?t forget DH?s trunks for your hospital bag if you are considering water, he won?t be allowed in naked

Dreamy ? those bed liners sound useful, where can you get those from? I wanted to try real nappies with DS but the local charity that did such a good talk when I was pregnant were hopeless at sending me a trial pack (lost 3 cheques ) and with our move to Spain etc I just decided to stick to disposables in the end.

Ineedmore ? Poor DS and you x

Choccie ? sounds like you are on a mission! I was given one of those Mothercare wedge cushions and am finding it very useful for supporting the bump in bed.

Littlesarah ? I took the little jug with me in case I got that burning sensation, apparently it helps to pour water on yourself as you pee to ease the sting or do it in the shower.

Sorry Naat ? can?t see any photos on your profile

Doris ? lots of progress at your end too I hear that voice too telling me to get things sorted, I think on the surface I have a false sense of security because DS was 9 days late but I do want to make sure everything is ready by week 35 just in case. My legs have really started to ache over the last couple of days, didn?t get that last time

Trying to summon up the energy to finish DS?s stew I started last night now that I have the sweet potato but I am so tired?..!

Had a lovely email today from my haematologist in the UK from when I had DS in response to a request for notes from me, makes me wish I was having this baby in that hospital again and then I wouldn?t be feeling so worried and threatened by it all I put a post on a local Mums website here asking about people?s experiences in my local hospital with Strep B and so far 12 people have read my post but no one has replied, I don?t know what to deduce from that

MrsMcJnr - Yup I used the warm water jug too! God knows how bad it would have been without that!

mrsmcjnr - I know a Spanish girl who lived in London when she fell pregnant. She felt strongly that Spanish pregnancy care was better than the UK so flew back for every key appointment/scan and then had the baby out there. That probably was quite some length to go to, but that shows there is at least one person impressed with the maternity care there (or maybe overly patriotic ). What general area are you in, on the Costa del Sol? The only woman I can think of to have children out there is in Vejer de la Frontera so wouldn't have been in the same hospital I guess.

Do they let you go and see the hospital out there? Visit the maternity ward etc? Are there local antenatal classes with local women?

Thanks for the kind note. I am at a bit of a low ebb, tired, emotional, faltering, sense of humour all but gone, headaches....not much fun to be around, me. When we decided to try and get pregnant again, my dp was a bit reticent as he was exhausted after number 1 and I knew I would have to stay really strong throughout. And I really have been so strong until lately - it's just all worn me down a bit: recent battles, dp still ill in London, I've put on tonnes of weight and everyone thinks I'm about to give birth now, dd behaviour really odd at times and almost aggressive & hates the idea of a baby, bd just once this year and usually frisky dp doesn't want to know about it...etc...etc. We are just back to being completely drained and energy-less.

This may sound crazy but my current garden project and the thought of a million beautiful flowers is what is keeping me going right now.

But on a bright note, I suspect this is the worst it will get. I think by the end of April - when I am just one month away, I will feel differently.

mrsmcj I hope some other mums get back to you soon for reassurance

daisy I can completely understand the garden keeping you going, I'm planning to get mine beautiful before baby arives as I think we'll spend a lot of time in it this summer (weather permitting) gardening is lovely as it gives you a real sense of achievement. Don't be too hard or yourself, pregnancy and a toddler is the worst bit, how old is dd? she is prob picking up on you being a little down and its unsettling, when baby is here I'm sure things will start to look up, big hugs for now tho x

also anyone considering hiring a tens, I have hadone of these both times and was billiant, need to order one this time too...

daisy also need you advice, wanted to get some me and bump photos done and local photogapher has offered free studio time as he wants to increase his portfolio, I'm meant to be calling him back today but what kind of shots should I ask for?? I never so much as had a portrait done before so not sure what I want him to do...

Hi Juners!

doris Awwww a newborn! Congrats to your friend. I guess the countdown has started for us to have a newborn in our hands

Daisy to hear you're feeling so tired and that DD is not being esp. helpful lately. And no, the garden doesn't sound silly at all, having something to get your mind off things is very positive! I don't think you have to "put a strong face" all the time, though... you have the right to feel tired, IFKWIM. Hope you feel better soon

MrsMc Nope, I won't forget DH's trunks When they told us the other day at the BC that he could stay overnight with LO and me and that if I wasn't feeling ready to go home we could all stay longer we decided he'll pack a bag as well So now everyone has a hospital bag hahaha. Hope you get answers from locals at the website you posted, but hon, try and be as calm as you can... remember that the more stressed you are, the more chances of you not being able to be relaxed at that moment, as HB has taught us Of course, try and get as many answers as you can regarding everything, but all that, before D-day... so that when the day comes, you can forget about it all and just think about you and baby (Not that I'm speaking due to experience )

Hi Insy and all the rest of the ladies!

Working day for me, some translation to do and I must work on my dissertation... and also start making appointments to view houses.

Well, I'll try one more time. The most thing that happens is that when I click on the link it works! Grrrr... Let's see if we're more lucky now... If not I'll ask Daisy for advice to see what she finally did for them to come up...

Fingers Crossed

Have a lovely morning, Juners.

Nat - I can see pictures (that is what we're meant to see isn't it?! lol), you just have to be logged in first before you click on the link.

Great pic of the wee one sucking her thumb, gorgeous!

You get on with that dissertation woman. I am beginning to get full circle, have drafted my results analysis and am now back updating my lit review before.... conclusions! Not that the work is finished then, loads of editing to come then need the overall intro and abstract and appendices and so on... oh the fun!

Daisy - I'm sure the gloom will pass by soon enough, sometimes you just have to accept that it's there and wait it out. Still horrible though. Hope dd starts behaving a bit more soon.

Insy - You know I wasn't going to bother with tens this time as I didn't feel it was that helpful but actually perhaps I will get one, at least it's a bit of a distraction!

You guys are so lucky to have gardens, can't wait til I do!

Today is a day off for me, kind of. Got dd so going to go to the museum and then for some lunch... not to mention finally seeing the midwife this afternoon for my 28 week check at 30 weeks!