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Due April 2009: Episode 19 - We had sex in July!! The curse of the slummy mummy!!

1010 replies

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 11/03/2009 20:02

so the orgy thread begins

OP posts:
tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 21:49

guys I've had RLT yesterday and day before (one a day)
1st one - oh this is ok I'll manage this no problem
2nd one - yuk I really don't like this (forces it down)
Today's one - haven't gone there YET as I can't bear the thought

so I don't like RLT but have bought so many bags that I'm bloody well gonna drink it.
Anyone know how to make it taste better?

StrawberryWhore · 12/03/2009 21:50

You'll never take me alive, fruit fuzz!

Made it ma, top of the world!

Get your stinking paws of me you damned dirty grape!

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 21:51

Try putting sugar in it to sweeten it? (i hate fruit tea so have gone down the tablet route)

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 21:53

Women having a one night stand with a dwarf. She is having orgasm after orgasm while he's thrusting like hell.
"My god this is amazing" she screams in between orgasms.
Dwarf replies, "you think that's good, wait til I put in the other leg"

StrawberryWhore · 12/03/2009 21:53

Nothing to do with fruit, sadly, but it made me laugh!

LAWYER/INSURANCE STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY.

This took place in Charlotte North Carolina

A lawyer purchased a box of very
rare and expensive cigars, then insured them
against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire
stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer
filed a claim against the insurance company

In his claim, the lawyer stated the
cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'

The insurance company refused to
pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man
had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars

were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers
Award Contest.

BabyBolat · 12/03/2009 21:53

Tristal, I drink it cold - tis more like juice then x

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 21:57

That's crazy, the poor guy getting jailed for it. Brilliant though

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 21:59

ROFL

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 22:00

thanks, I'll try sweet and cold. It's brewing as I type. It's laughing at me with a little evil laugh. Yuk.

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 22:01

(the tea, not a dwarf)

BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:08

Maybe drink it with apple juice?

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 22:09

Have put milk and sugar in. My head says gross but my tastebuds say it's fine!

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:10

Trista - yay success

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 22:12

It's nice now. When do you up the amount? Is it a very gradual thing?
I did it in 1st pg but totally cant remember, sorry.

BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:25

Make ice lollies out of it?

Turn it into a Hesther Blumenthal-style Martini jelly with vermouth and an olive garnish?

Whip the leaves into beaten eggs and have breakfast omelettes with it?

Toss leaves in liquid nitrogen to make a powder and then mix with melted chocolate, dip real raspberries in it and leave to set?

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:29

"Toss leaves in liquid nitrogen"

tristaleejac · 12/03/2009 22:31

only a pg woman could think of those combos boff!

BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:34

This is the woman who wanted to clean her BBQ with 2 gallons of liquid oxygen held at length, but my family wouldn't let me! It is supposed to work very well. White hot coals in 2 seconds and all the burnt on BBQ crap disintegrates into carbon at the same time.

One of the benefits of being a Boffin is that one has Boffin chums who know loadsa science stuff like this.

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:34

Chocolate (for melting)- Check
Raspberries - check

please can i borrow a cup of liqud nitros?

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:35
Grin
BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:36

You'll have to shag a chemist, Nutty.

BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:37

Shall I go on Dragons Den with my new choco-RLT formulation??

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:37

damn.........they're all women round these parts

BoffinMum · 12/03/2009 22:38

I can think of a whole range:

RLT truffles
RLT chocolate body paint
etc etc

SmuttyNutSack · 12/03/2009 22:38

Boffin - tis a winner for sure!!

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